Heaven on Earth: The Last Adventure of ATM
by kaykyaka
Summary: Note of thanks.
1. RSVP

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece? Read the last adventure of ATM and find out!

Chapter One - RSVP

Police Station, Toronto, Canada, 7:30am.

A policeman read the Toronto Star quietly waiting for his partner to return so they could go on their morning rounds, he pulled the paper closer to him staring at the picture of a little girl who looked incredibly familiar.

"I know this girl," he said to himself as his partner came back with coffee and pancakes.

"Don't get mad but there's no syrup," his buddy said with a frown noticing his colleague staring at the front page of the Toronto Star, "Isn't that the girl we rescued from that murdering couple last year?" he asked leaning over his colleague's shoulder.

"It sure is," his colleague nodded, "Looks like she hooked up with Trish Stratus,"

The photo on the front cover of the newspaper was taken outside the White House where Trish, Lita and Melina were being honored by President Bush for their role in the war in Iraq. Carla, LC, Cassidy, Charlene, Brandon, Charlotte and Dan were also in the picture standing next to a goofy faced Dubya Bush and embarrassed Condoleezza Rice.

"Makes you proud to be Canadian, bravo Trish Stratus, bravo," the inspector said wiping a tear from his eye, "Says here her best friend Lita aka Amelie Dumont aka Amy Dumas will be getting married next week right here in Toronto, do you think we'd get an invitation?"

He asked his buddy who was slurping his coffee thinking how cool it would be to see Trish Stratus in the flesh.

"Well we did save Carla from the kidnapper, I don't see why she wouldn't invite us, do you think she knows Mrs. Copeland, Edge's mom?" he asked.

"They live close by, Judy must be getting her hair done at Babs, why don't we pop in and ask her ourselves?" his colleague responded.

"Sounds good, hey where's my coffee?" his buddy asked looking around his desk and sighed when he realized his colleague forgot it.

"We'll pick some up on the way let's go," he replied and they left for Babs Hair Salon downtown.

8am - Babs Hair Salon

In March, the weather in Toronto was always cold but today the sun was pouring out over the streets making people wonder what month it was, Judy Copeland knew what month it was in fact she made an effort to remind her girlfriends exactly what month it was because a week from today, her son Adam was getting married to an American wrestling icon by the name of Amy Dumas whose face had been plastered all over the news all day.

"Did you know your future daughter-in-law was so powerful Judy?" Babs asked Mrs. Copeland as she washed her hair.

"No I thought she was just a wrestler like Adam, he never told me she was a soldier let alone an American hero," Judy replied enjoying her hair being lathered by her favorite hairdresser Babs Malone.

"Says here she destroyed Sunni insurgents in one go enabling Trish Stratus aka. Teresa von Strauss aka. Patricia Stratigias from getting the Weapons of Mass Destruction out of Iraq, what a girl!" Alison, the lady under the dryer said amazed at the article covering ATM's adventure in Iraq in the Toronto Star.

"Adam always said Amy was something special but this totally is not what I thought he meant," Judy Copeland smiled as Babs rinsed through her hair.

"Can I come to the wedding?" Babs asked her wrapping a towel around Judy's head.

"Oh you betcha, what about you Alison wanna come see my son walk down the isle for the second time?" Judy said humorously and Alison and Babs laughed.

"It will be the last time too, hopefully," Babs replied and Judy nodded.

"If there's a woman out there better than Lita, may she keep her mouth shut and never meet my son, I want Lita to be part of our family and Adam can finally put his past behind him where it belongs," Judy said and Babs looked over at Alison with a weary look, Alison responded by putting her head back in the Toronto Star and saying nothing about Edge's ex-wife.

"Oooh look at the little angels - who are these two children Judy?" Alison said changing the subject and drawing Judy's attention to LC and Carla.

"Oh yes, this one is called Carla Edge and Trish Stratus rescued her from those murderous bastards last year," Mrs. Copeland answered.

"Bless them," Babs replied remembering how traumatic it was for the whole town when it came out that Carla was in danger of being killed by her own parents, "And who's the other cutie pie?"

"I don't know they look similar though don't they? You could mistake them for sisters," Judy replied studying the picture closely.

"They both look like Adam, with their blond hair and blue eyes," Alison commented.

"But that one doesn't have blue eyes," Babs said pointing at LC, "And her jaw line is stronger than Carla's, they can't be sisters,"

The door closed sharply and startled the three women causing them to jump up.

"Speak of the devil, Chris Jericho you know we don't do men's hair here, go to Phil's he'll shave that mop you got sitting up there," Babs said and Judy and Alison laughed ignoring the Ayatollah of Rock N' Rolla as he strutted over to them like he was the King of the World or something.

"I don't need my hair done I was born sexy," Jericho said to Edge's mom, "What's all this talk about Lita and Edge. There's somebody else getting married this year you know,"

" Jericho take it ootside, we're busy," Babs said spraying hairspray at Jericho to keep him away.

"Hey what's with the hostility I am Canadian and I demand respect!" Jericho responded angrily.

"But have you done anything of note like Edge or Trish Stratus?" Alison asked him and he frowned.

"Oh you heard about Stratus and the whole ending the war in Iraq thing, I could have done that but I was busy, me and Fozzy had a concert in Aberdeen we couldn't get out of otherwise I would have gone to Baghdad and I would have found the Weapons of Mass Destruction myself!" Jericho yelled arrogantly and Babs, Alison and Judy rolled their eyes.

"If you insist on staying here Jericho make yourself useful and tell us who this little girl reminds you of," Babs said pointing to the picture of LC and Carla inside the Toronto Sun. Jericho removed his sunglasses and looked down at the photo, he smiled and the three ladies frowned at him, "What are you smiling at?" Babs asked him irritated.

"Nothing - just my daughters," Jericho responded and the three ladies gasped, Judy especially as Babs dropped a curling iron on her head.

"YARGH!" Judy cried out as the hot iron seared her scalp and she jumped out of the chair.

"I'm sorry Judy let me rub some pomade on it!" Babs said apologetically rubbing the balm into her favorite customer's scalp carefully.

"Oh that's better, Jericho explain yourself, when did you have children?" Judy asked the extravagant Canadian.

"About eight years ago, I gave them up for adoption I should have been more selective in my choice of foster parents huh?" he said.

"No shit," all three women said at the same time.

"Hey I didn't know they'd kill Carla, they seemed like normal people," Jericho said in defense of his choice of adoptive parents.

"Wait if they're your daughters, how come this one's got hazel eyes and a strong jaw line?" Alison asked confused pointing at LC.

"She's was deformed at birth now onto more important things, what are you all doing in 3 weeks?" Jericho asked the women who were staring at him in utter confusion.

" Jericho what are you up to?" Judy Copeland asked him concerned that he was gonna do something stupid.

"What makes you think I could be up to something Judy?" Jericho asked innocently.

"Because you're always up to something!" Judy replied as Babs finished straightening her hair.

"I don't think you'll mind my latest conquest one bit you see, I'm getting married as well, to Stephanie McMahon after she divorces Triple H for infidelity," Jericho said jubilantly and Judy shook her head exasperated.

"Don't tell me your still after that stuck up little tramp from Connecticut, you need help Jericho seriously I'm worried about you kid, go get yourself checked oout before it's too late," she said and Alison and Babs shook their heads pitying Chris Jericho for still being hung up on Stephanie McMahon after all these years.

"No you don't understand, this time it's different," Jericho explained pulling up a chair next to Judy, "Hunter left Stephanie for Chyna, you know, that Amazon woman that used to work for Vince back in the Attitude Era? Well she's totally still in love with Hunter and Vince gave her half of the McMahon Helmsley estate for all the distress Stephanie put her through while she was carrying his baby,"

"Chyna had children for Hunter?" Judy asked confused, "I thought Aurora was his only child?"

"No she's his second," Jericho corrected Adam's mom and she listened intently, this was information her son had not disclosed to her, "Now as we speak, Chyna, Hunter, little Aurora Rose and these two adorable princesses are on vacation together as a family leaving Stephanie McMahon in the loving arms of yours truly Y2J and we're getting married _finally_!"

"So where is Stephanie now?" Babs asked putting her hands on her hips unconvinced not believing a word Jericho was saying.

"At the McMahon-Helmsley Compound packing up her things, we're gonna fly out to LA and check on John Cena he got shot at a Hollywood party so Steph, Rocky and I decided to go cheer him up,"

Babs, Alison and Judy exchanged glances then burst out laughing much to Jericho's disdain.

"Fine laugh it up I don't care, finally I get what I deserve and since you're making fun of me, none of you cows are invited to the wedding, good luck with Edge and Lita, I'll be in So Cal living it up with the stars, see yah later assclowns!"

Jericho skipped out of the Babs Hair Salon leaving Babs, Alison and Judy Copeland completely baffled.

"Wow!" Alison said astonished.

"Whoa!" Babs added.

"Could you see right through his pants or was it just us?" the police officers asked them both as they entered the salon and they all laughed thinking there was no way Stephanie McMahon and Hunter were splitting up and that Y2J was one Headbangers Ball away from permanent brain damage.

McMahon-Helmsley Compound, CT, 9am.

Mr. and Mrs. Dumas were sitting at the breakfast table discussing their daughter's wedding with the McMahons, so far no agreement could be reached on Lita's future and the preparations for her wedding, it was a good thing she wasn't there to hear the awful things her father was saying about her.

"She's a filthy whore just like her mother!" Mr. Dumas yelled and his wife kicked him in the shins at which point Shane McMahon called a time out and Vince McMahon sighed deeply while Linda massaged his shoulders to ease the tension he was feeling over this.

"How can you talk about your daughter like that Mr. Dumas you're disgusting!" Shane told Lita's father who was more interested in finishing off his bacon and eggs then giving away his daughter next week.

"I work hard for my money son, what do you do apart from take advantage of stupid girls who take their clothes off for a living? Amy or "Lita" as you like to call her wouldn't have gotten an evening with the President of the United States if she kept her clothes on instead of doing that Live Sex show last year, but she did because she's a filthy whore and I won't give her the pleasure of embarrassing me in front of all of her friends like she deserves the praise and glory ending the war in Iraq has gotten her,"

"Why do you hate her so much when everyone else loves her and respects what she's done for this country?" Mrs. Dumas asked in frustration pulling her hair out, "She's not a filthy whore, she's your only daughter and she doesn't need you to be happy!"

"Oh yeah, Then why does Edge want me to give her away at her wedding?" her husband asked.

"Because you're her father asshole, that's what you're supposed to do!" Vince McMahon snapped causing Mr. Dumas to flinch at the power of the wrestling mogul's voice, "For once in your life stand up for your family!"

Mr. Dumas rose to his feet, wiped his mouth and pushed his chair back, "Come on we're leaving," he said to his wife ignoring Vince's plea and his wife remained seated and he gave her a dark warning stare, "I said let's go!" he yelled, "If I'm not getting my $1 million dollars I've got no reason to be here one minute longer so get your ass up outta that chair now!"

He pulled Mrs. Dumas up by her hair and dragged her to the front door, Shane and Linda went to stop him but by the time he was in the front porch Vince was already on top of him, "Get outta here!" Vince yelled throwing Lita's father out on his ass while Linda and Shane escorted Mrs. Dumas back to her seat in the kitchen, "Asshole!" Vince exclaimed horrified by what he had just seen, "People will do anything for money," he looked over at Stephanie who listened to the whole thing from the top of the stairs.

"Is Amy's mom okay daddy?" she called and Vince smiled and nodded at his baby girl that everything was okay and walked to meet her at the bottom of the steps.

"How you doing?" he asked warmly taking his daughter's hands in his own and giving them a squeeze.

Stephanie frowned, "I just spoke to the LAPD, they're holding CM Punk for questioning, Jeff Jarrett's already bailed LAX out and Sting's taking them and Samoa Joe back down to Florida. It turns out Maria's pregnant with Cena's baby and that's why Punk shot him, Cena never even knew he was the father,"

"Wasn't Punk the father of Maria's first child?" Vince asked confused.

"Yeah but Cena aborted it remember?" Stephanie reminded him.

"Let me get this straight," Vince said stroking his chin reflecting on the Rock's house party last week, "Cena caused Maria to lose Punk's baby and now she's pregnant with his?"

Stephanie nodded suddenly feeling like laughing a little, "Yeah I guess Cena does wanna be with Maria after all," she realized.

"That's the thing about true love my dear, you will kill for it," Vince told her rubbing her reddened cheek gently.

"Hunter would kill for me," she said thinking about the time Triple H caused Jericho to lose his left eye when he saw them talking together over pizza with Trish, Carlito and Shelton Benjamin.

"Don't ever say that man's name in this house again!" Vince said firmly and Stephanie nodded, "You know he doesn't care about you all he cares about is his precious Kliq and you're better than that Stephanie McMahon, you're pure class he's white trash just like Joanie and that little brat LC and they all deserve each other, good riddens to them!"

"What about Aurora I can't leave my baby girl with that bitch," Stephanie snarled through wet eyes and tear-stained cheeks.

"There's plenty of time to have another baby Steph, just think of Aurora as a trial run that had to be discontinued because of bizarre side effects," Vince said humorously and Stephanie couldn't take it anymore and burst out in tears, Vince hugged her warmly and Linda and Shane came over to see what was up.

"She's still upset about DX," Vince told them quietly as Steph cried into his chest.

"We'll pull the plug on them Steph don't you worry," Shane assured Stephanie stroking her hair lovingly and she looked up at him her eyes sore from crying.

"When?" she asked.

"As soon as they get to LA, Christian told Jericho that ATM and DX are going on a road trip from coast to coast, they're still in Boca Vista at Trish and Carlito's house, by the time they get to California, there'll be no more DX!" Shane said vengefully and Stephanie smiled and reached around to hug her brother and mother at the same time.

"I should have listened to you guys," Linda said tearfully, "You were right, family is the most important thing, and you can't be a Helmsley anymore,"

"So you're gonna divorce him right?" Vince asked Stephanie.

"You betcha," Stephanie responded firmly.

"So his part of the inheritance goes back to the McMahon family," Linda said and her family nodded, "I'll go call our attorneys," she said heading for the house phone to make the call that Stephanie thought would never be made.

"Ready to go?" Shane asked her.

The Hummer limousine was waiting to take Stephanie to the airport to fly out to LA with Jericho, "Yes," she said and kissed her brother and father on the cheek, "I love you guys, I'll call you from Hollywood," she said and waved goodbye to her family before getting into the Hummer limousine and drove off to begin her new life as a McMahon this time, without the Helmsley.

"Where to Mrs. Helmsley?" said the driver and Stephanie frowned at the familiar voice and lowered the partition, she screamed as Hunter smiled back at her.

"What are you doing here Hunter? Shouldn't you be smooching with Joanie in a Motel 6 somewhere?" Stephanie spat angrily.

"How did you know about that?" Chyna said from the other seat and Stephanie jumped back in fright at the piercing green eyes starting back at her.

"You guys are supposed to be on vacation!" Stephanie cried confused.

"Well we didn't wanna leave without saying goodbye," said another familiar voice and Stephanie looked down at the floor to see Shawn Michaels crouched by her feet.

"This is not funny, you can all go straight to Hell!" Stephanie snapped letting herself out and marching back over to the house angrily.

"See I told you we could do it again," Shawn told Hunter stretching out on the back seat as Hunter drove the brand new Hummer limousine down the highway where the ATM machine was waiting for them.

"That's my Hummer limousine!" Vince McMahon cried angrily storming after DX but they were long gone, they tricked the Chairman once again, things were definitely back to normal.

"I don't see why we have to go to pick up Naitch," Lita complained as they tore down the highway with DX following behind them, "he's got his own jet for crying out loud!"

"Quit your bitching there's nothing you can do about it," Trish told her combing out her long blond hair while Carlito braided Lita's, the Anointed one crossed her arms defiantly and pouted.

"If you keep on I'm gonna go to LA with Melina and Nitro," she protested and Trish gave her a People's eyebrow and a warning look and Lita sighed in frustration, "Okay let's go pick up my ex-boyfriend and his stupid brother," Lita sulked folding her arms miserably, "I knew I should have gone with Edge to pick up Judy," she complained and ducked as Trish threw her hairbrush at the Xtreme ex-diva and rolled down the window to yell at DX.

"What is she doing?" Chyna frowned as the ATM machine ground to a halt and suddenly Lita was in the back of the Hummer limousine with HBK.

"She just wants to be alone with Carlito," Lita said as Trish rode off with Carlito and DX followed behind. Shawn wrapped his arms around Lita and pulled her into an embrace.

"Hey Big Red," he said sweetly and Lita took the gum out of her mouth, her breath was sweet enough, Shawn looked confused, "Wanna talk about it?" he asked her, Lita shook her head and rested on his chest as he stroked her hair noticing that her braids were only half-braided.

"I just miss Adam so much," she said finally and Shawn nodded.

"So do I," he said and Hunter and Joanie exchanged looks.

"Hunter what are you doing?" Joanie said as her sadistic sweetheart jumped through the partition and threw water balloons at HBK until the Showstoppa was soaking wet.

"That'll cool him off," he said pleased with his work and he got back behind the wheel.

"The sooner we hook him up the better," Joanie said to Hunter who nodded, it was agreed that Shawn really needed to get on with his life and stop honing in on Edge and Lita's relationship so much.

"What's that smell?" Lita said holding her nose.

"Hunter what the Hell is in these balloons?" Shawn asked furiously.

"I had to go what else was I gonna do?" Hunter said, "Plus urine is really good for your skin, it kinda gives you a golden glow,"

Shawn clenched his teeth furiously as Joanie and Lita started to laugh, "My skin is already golden!" he snapped, "Turn back I'm not going to Ric's house now, stop the limo!"

"Look out!" Lita cried as the Hummer limousine veered off the road swerving past the ATM machine right into the lake.

"Why didn't you take the wheel?" Joanie asked Hunter then slapped him around the head for nearly killing them all.

"I did, the limo moved on its own!" Hunter protested and Shawn looked at Lita thinking something weird was up, then the lake started to freeze over.

They all got out of the limo and looked at the sign that said "NOW LEAVING GREENWICH" but they couldn't leave Greenwich, the home of the McMahon family, something was keeping them there.

"Your daughter has no sense of humor Hunter," Trish said coming over to them with Carlito and DX looked up at the snow, it appeared that Aurora Rose was not pleased with their antics this time around, but they couldn't understand why. "She doesn't take kindly to being cut out of her inheritance," The Truth: Trish Stratus explained and Hunter was stunned.

"Linda called their attorneys already?" he asked in shock and Trish nodded.

"Aurora will no longer be a McMahon after the paperwork is completed," she said, "After Stephanie signs the deed declaring her your child instead of hers, you and Aurora will no longer be part of the McMahon family and any claim Aurora had to the McMahon-Helmsley estate will be null and void,"

"I feel like singing in the rain!" Hunter said spinning HBK around merrily, "It's gonna be you, me, Joanie and the kids from now on HBK, praise the Lord!" he said passionately swinging the Heartbreak Kid from side to side, "Lisa's gonna be so happy, I can't wait until we get to California and pick her up from Charlotte and Dan's to live with us!"

"It's a shame your kids have to stay with Karen Shawn, she really hates you doesn't she?" Carlito said to Shawn who nodded hoping Karen wouldn't use his notorious problems with Rebecca as an excuse to keep Cameron and Cheyenne away from him forever.

"Does this mean the three of us are going to have to share a bed again?" Joanie asked humorously, Shawn couldn't help but smile and Trish, Lita and Carlito joined them in a victory raindance in celebration of new beginnings, then a thunder cloud broke and it started to rain really hard, Shawn was relieved he didn't smell like a toilet anymore but the water rising above their ankles indicated that their trip to North Carolina was about to be delayed due to a very unhappy baby girl.


	2. Aurora's Ark

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece?

Chapter Two - Aurora's Ark

Lunchtime, LC's house, Weston, Kern County, Bakersfield, CA:

Inside everyone was wearing their winter coats shivering and trying to warm themselves up but it was pointless, Aurora was extremely pissed off. Charlotte and Dan had been trying to warm her up by sitting with her next to the fireplace but she extinguished the flames and she got so cold they couldn't hold her anymore, the only person that could hold her was LC and the lil warrior princess had been holding her for hours with no change. Carla tried to entertain her with dolls and teddy bears but she turned those to ice and kept crying and had been all morning, now it was lunchtime and everyone was out of ideas.

"Why won't she stop crying?" LC's foster mother asked rubbing her hands together while her husband tried to seal in all the heat by taping up the doors and windows.

"I don't know," Charlotte answered, "I tried to call Stephanie but she keeps hanging up on me,"

"Well I can understand that, she's got every right to be angry," Dan said and LC glared at him, "Hunter chose Joanie over her, she heartbroken!"

"She shouldn't have fired Joanie in the first place," Charlotte countered.

"She was in love with him too, imagine if I was in love with Trish Stratus this whole time and never told you," Dan argued and Charlotte folded her gloved hands angrily.

"Are you in love with Trish Stratus?" Charlotte asked him and he squared his jaw and folded his arms too.

"Are you in love with Shawn Michaels?" he asked her and Charlotte blushed causing everyone to laugh at her, "I rest my case,"

"He's cute but I think he's got enough woman problems Char," LC said pacing back and forth with Aurora crying in her arms, "If you wanna piece of HBK you better get to the back of the line cause there are a trailer load of hos waiting to take Rebecca's place,"

"Any idea who he's interested in?" Charlotte asked her and LC and gave her foster sister a look like she was the dumbest person on Earth, "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Because you're the dumbest person on Earth," LC replied and Carla sighed irritably, "I changed my mind, Carla is the dumbest person on Earth will you quit it?"

Carla put her hands up in protest, "I can't help it I miss him okay?" she said in self-defense.

"Call him then oh wait you have already, 20 freaking times! By the time Joanie and Hunter come and pick us up he's not gonna wanna talk to you ever again!"

"How long is Cameron gonna be staying at his grandma's anyway?" Charlotte mom asked LC and Charlotte shook her head displeased.

"For as long as she can keep him there, Karen doesn't think Shawn is a very good father," Charlotte replied.

"Why would she think that?" her mom asked again.

"Because she's a bitch," LC replied and Charlotte told her off, "What she is, she's trying to split Shawn's family up and make him cry,"

"Well he is still mourning, maybe its best he not have the children back until he's over his wife's passing," Charlotte's dad added coming over to the in the middle of the room.

"How is being separated from his children gonna make him get over Rebecca?" Charlotte asked.

"I don't know but with the drugs and the bizarre hair-changing thing, maybe he's not ready to be a single parent," he explained.

"He won't be a single parent, trust me on that," LC said growing weary as Aurora continued to cry, suddenly a tree fell outside the house with a loud crashing, everybody ran to the window and saw a tree floating down the road along with several cars and other random objects in a flood caused by Aurora no doubt, "Gees Ro-Ro time out!" LC said to her little sister.

"Where did all that water come from?" LC's foster mother asked in shock.

"Where do you think?" LC replied, "Come on Carla," she called to her other sister running up the stairs to her foster sister's room.

"LC where are you going?" Charlotte called after her.

"To raid your CD collection!" LC yelled back and Charlotte scratched her head wondering why then the sound of CDs crashing to the floor startled everyone, suddenly the sound of Mariah Carey's 'Music Box' filled the house.

"Isn't this the song Stephanie's always playing to Aurora when she wants her to sleep?" Dan asked his wife and she nodded and ran up to her bedroom expecting to see Aurora asleep in LC's arms but she wasn't sleeping, in fact, she was crying even harder and LC took a deep sigh her breath showing how cold the air really was.

"Well that didn't work," she said and Carla stopped the CD, "I'm afraid there's only one way out of this guys,"

Carla and Charlotte looked at each other wondering what LC had in mind, then they figured out it had something to do with raincoats, Wellington boots and flood pants, "LC we are not going out in that!" Charlotte protested pointing to the flood outside the window as her foster sister threw Carla a raincoat, "LC listen to me we are not going out there!"

"It'll be just like Noah's ark," LC replied putting a rain hat on Aurora's head covering the baby's head completely, it didn't stop her from crying though, "Only without the animals,"

Charlotte pulled her hair out as LC and Carla lead the way back downstairs to explain LC's idea to everyone, "Don't listen mom she's crazy," Charlotte protested.

"No she's Helmsley," Carla corrected her adoptive mother and Charlotte shrugged thinking what's the difference?

"Lisa honey why are you dressed in your raincoat and boots?" LC's foster mother asked curiously.

"Is the Sunseeker still back there?" LC asked her foster father who nodded.

"Of course it is why?" he asked curiously and Dan lowered his head knowing exactly what LC intended to do.

"Of all the ridiculous ideas you've come up with LC this is by far the dumbest," he said wearily.

"We've got no choice pretty boy Ro-Ro's going out of her supernatural mind and the only way we're going to survive this flood is to get in that boat and find Stephanie McMahon," LC explained.

"What!" Charlotte's parents exclaimed, "You want to go outside in that?" Charlotte's dad said in disbelief pointing at the rain that continued to pour unabated.

"We better move fast," Carla said looking down at the carpet and seeing water seeping through, eventually everyone noticed it too and started to panic, "We take the boat to LA, that's where Stephanie, Rocky and Jericho are hanging out today,"

"Don't you mean that's where Daddy's hanging out?" LC teased and her sister nudged her on the shoulder and told her to shut up, the rain exploded through the window and everyone ducked, "Okay people let's move out!" LC demanded and eventually everyone exited through the back of the house and waded through the water to the garage where Charlotte's dad had a boat tied up. Together he and Dan jumped behind the wheel and helped everyone get in, the water was at 6 feet and rising rapidly submerging the whole neighborhood. People started screaming seeing Charlotte's parents in their boat they quickly followed suit and jumped into their boats picking up people who didn't have boats and rode over the rising water.

"You call that a boat?" Charlotte's dad yelled out to a neighbor in a Portofino 35 and his wife admonished him.

"That's not very Christian dear," she said and her husband apologized then revved the engine and checked to make sure everyone was safely inside.

"Last one to LA's a male cheerleader!" he yelled and tore past his neighbors who looked on thinking of upgrading to the Portofino 53.

"LC take Aurora into the main cabin she might catch a cold," Charlotte's mom said and LC, Charlotte and Carla looked at her like she was the dumbest person on the planet until she remembered that it was Aurora that was causing the flood in the first place, "Right she's upset this is gonna take some getting used to," Charlotte's mom said scratching her head.

"Tell me about it," LC said wondering how life was gonna be if Aurora stayed mad at her mom forever, she didn't wanna end up like those idiots in Day After Tomorrow, there had to be a way to make Aurora happy again and she had a feeling Chris Jericho had something to do with it.

"Hello?" she said answering her cell phone.

"Hey LC its mom," Chyna said, "How's Aurora doing?"

"Not good, she cried all morning then she started a flood and my whole neighborhood is submerged in water,"

"Oh my God!" Chyna said startling Hunter who took the phone.

"LC what's going on?" he asked concerned.

"Relax Pops Carla and I have got everything under control, your crazy ass daughter caused a flood so were taking my foster father's cruiser to LA to find that dumbass wife of yours and talk some sense into her," LC answered.

"Lisa Stephanie's still here, she hasn't left yet," Hunter explained sitting in the top of an oak tree with Joanie, Shawn, Lita, Trish and Carlito looking down at the Hummer limousine and ATM Machine that were submerged below.

"Why not couldn't she find a broom big enough to fly over on?" LC remarked causing Chyna to chuckle as she listened in on the conversation.

"No see Shawn and I kind of stole Vince's Hummer limousine that was taking her to the airport, she's still in Connecticut," he said and LC burst out laughing, then Aurora started laughing and everyone heard her and looked over at them, "Was that Aurora laughing?" Hunter asked joyfully.

"It sure was, I think it was because of your DX antics," LC said.

"No it was because you laughed Lisa, not because we pulled another prank on Vince, I think she's feeding off of your energy," Hunter realized, "So if I make you laugh she laughs,"

"Okay then make with the jokes!" LC said urgently.

"Do you know what HBK stands for?" Hunter asked her.

"Nah-uh what does HBK stand for?" LC asked.

"Hairy Butt Kid," Hunter replied and Shawn got angry as the sound of LC laughing radiated through the air.

"That's a good one, tell another joke she's laughing Daddy she's laughing!" LC said and the rain stopped.

"Okay what do you get when you cross a Texan with Vince McMahon's ass?" he said and Lita tried to calm Shawn down as he tried to grab the phone out of Hunter's hand.

"I don't know what do you get when you cross a Texan with Vince McMahon's ass?" LC asked giggling along with Carla who was listening in too.

"Sweet Chin Asscial," Hunter replied and LC laughed so hard she dropped her cell phone in the water.

"You hear that Aurora's laughing, we should be able to get out of here now," Hunter said enjoying the sound of his baby girl's laughter, "LC? Don't leave we're on our way," he said down the phone but LC didn't hear him, her phone was history and she was too busy holding her sides too notice.

"Sweet Chin Asscial, oh that's good, isn't Daddy funny Ro-Ro?" she asked her baby sister who slapped her hands together joyfully her cheeks warming up along with the rest of her body, "Let's get this thing off your head," LC said taking the rain hat off Aurora's head causing the little one to cry and the rain to start falling again, "Okay-okay you can wear it," LC said leaving the hat on her and the rain stopped again, "You're a spoiled brat you know that?" she told her and stuck her tongue out at her which Aurora responded by sticking her finger in her nose, "Hey pick your own!" LC snapped shielding her face from Aurora's curious hands.

"Well she's doing much better now, maybe this water will start going down and we can go back home," Charlotte's mom said looking down at the water that was now at 20ft but LC shook her head.

"We're still going to LA, I don't think we should wait for DX to get here," she said.

"Why isn't the water going down?" Charlotte said looking at all the boats that had set sail over the last ten minutes.

"Because we're in a boat what else are we gonna sail on, asphalt?" LC said sarcastically and Charlotte frowned in confusion.

"You mean Aurora wants to sail to L.A?" she asked and LC nodded.

"This child is so spoiled I can't believe we have to sail to LA because she wants to," Dan complained, "Do you know how much flood damage she's going to cause?"

"Not as much damage as I am to your ass after I kick it!" LC threatened and Dan went quiet not wanting to be put in a Rear Naked Choke again, "Just ride Dan, the sooner we get to LA the better,"

"You want to talk to Chris Jericho about us?" Carla asked her sister.

"Look CarlaBcool, the only way he could be your father is if his sperm tag teamed with Hunter's sperm and they both penetrated mom's ovaries at the same time," LC explained and now it was time for Charlotte to laugh thinking how naïve her foster sister was.

"That is so sci-fi," Carla said doubting LC's theory also, "but it would explain an awful lot, I mean, I really do look like him don't I?" she asked her sister playing with her curly blond hair her blue eyes clear as glass. LC peered into them, shook her head and pulled on Dan's sweater.

"We need to make a stop downtown and get Carla some hazel colored contacts," she said and Carla stuck her tongue out at her which Aurora copied, but Carla couldn't work out how she saw her because her eyes were covered up by the rain hat LC put back on her head. She held Aurora's little hand and squeezed it lovingly, suddenly her hair flared up conducting electric pulses from Aurora and struck a nearby tree with a bolt of lightning, it crashed onto the water causing a huge ripple in the water that rocked their boat and everyone else's. Charlotte, Dan and her parents looked at Carla in shock.

"What did you just do Carla?" Charlotte asked in shock, "Did you cause that tree to fall down?"

Carla looked at her hands, they were ashy, "Yeah I did," she said trembling and LC put her hand on her sister's shoulder calmly.

"Carla, be cool," she said and Carla nodded, "Let a-rip Danny Boy!"

"Aye, aye Captain!" Dan replied and sailed past all the other boats towards Santa Monica including the Stinger's jet powered speedboat.

"Where are those gringos going in such a hurry?" Konnan said tying his bandana back around his head while Homicide and Hernandez tried to figure out who that was.

"Joe will you sit down? You're fat ass is rocking the boat everytime you get up!" Homicide complained and Samoa Joe just ignored him.

"You know who that was Stinger?" he said to the Icon of TNA who was heading back to Orlando via. LAX.

"No but I got a feeling they're going to So Cal too," Sting replied and revved his engine loudly turning the boat around.

"Hey what you doing man?" Hernandez complained almost completely out of the boat.

"We're going back to LA," he said tailing the Portofino 53.

"But we already put John Cena in the hospital, now the WWE doesn't have a Champion and TNA can finally dominate the wrestling world," Konnan reasoned getting up with LAX's help and standing in the cock pit with Sting, "What we following those gringos for when we could be in Orlando celebrating vato?"

"I'm a gringo Konnan and as the captain of this ship I'm telling you to sit your crippled ass down now!" Sting warned the leader of LAX who snarled at the former NWA Champion as Homicide and Hernandez helped him back down.

"We don't have to follow this gringo when we get to LA, why don't we see if we can find Melina and ask her to heal your hip and kidneys man?" Hernandez suggested, "She lives in Santa Monica,"

"You think she would?" Konnan asked hopefully.

"She has to she's part of that angelic trio that ended the war in Iraq, I'm sure she'd have no problem helping out a fellow Chicano," Hernandez argued and Konnan was convinced.

"Okay we stop by the little mamacita's, I hope she cooked, Joe quit rocking the boat or I'm a go 5150 on your ass!" Konnan threatened the Samoan Submission Machine who rolled his eyes and continued eating his breakfast burrito like he didn't have a care in the world.

"Sweet phone," he said reaching over into the water and picking up an army colored cell phone.

"That can't work it's been in the water too long," Homicide said looking over at it from the other side of the Stinger.

"We'll see about that," Joe said dialing the last dialed number, he couldn't believe who answered.

"Triple H, I believe you owe me a match," Joe said as Hunter answered.

"Put my daughter on the phone!" Hunter snapped angrily still in the oak tree.

"Isn't Aurora a little to young to be handling electronic gadgets?" Joe replied.

"You're never too young to learn a new skill, I think you might wanna take a chance and learn how to use a toothbrush for the first time in your life, I can smell the salsa from here Holmes," Hunter said and Shawn laughed.

"Is that your boyfriend Hunter? When are you two finally gonna tie the knot, can I come to the commitment ceremony?" Joe teased.

"I don't think we can cater to you Joe, I mean there's gonna be other people there who need to eat you know, not to mention your mama who told me to say hi by the way, she's totally worth the ten bucks I paid her thanks for the recommendation man,"

Joe broke the phone and threw it back in the water angrily, "Hello?" Hunter called, "I don't think he's gonna come to our commitment ceremony Shawn,"

"I am not talking to you!" Shawn snapped as Lita combed his hair, "You can commit yourself to a mental institution!"

"What did I say?" Hunter argued innocently.

"You told LC I had a hairy ass," Shawn complained as Lita combed through his knotted hair, "Why don't you scalp me and get it over with?" he said to her irritated.

"I'm sorry but I ain't about to go to NC with you looking like a mental patient now hold still Hairy Butt Kid," Lita replied and everyone laughed.

"I better look good when you're done cause I wanna kick both your asses in style!" Shawn said angrily as Lita raked the brush through a knot that went from Shawn's roots to the tips, "Easy!" he complained.

"But you do have a hairy ass Shawn, I saw you shaving it at my house that one time," Hunter argued.

"That was Vince you moron!" Shawn snapped.

"Oh yeah, I get his ass and your face mixed up because they're always in close proximity to each other," Hunter quipped and Shawn Super-kicked him out of the tree onto the Hummer limousine below with a loud thud.

"HUNTER!" Vince barked riding over to them in his brand new Predator 108 motor yacht with Stephanie, Linda and Shane, "What has your demon seed done to my compound, its under 20ft of water?"

Hunter looked up at Vince's latest toy and looked up at Shawn who was already climbing down towards him.

"Sorry Vince I can't control her powers, its all God you know? I can't tell Him what to do," Hunter said biding time for Shawn to make his way down.

"The Hell you can't, you're hanging out with a saint, a seraphim and an angelic trio for Pete's sake, you can call off the turbulence if you want to but you don't do ya? No you just want to destroy my family like you destroyed my Hummer limousine, is that my brand new Hummer limousine you're standing on?" Vince asked looking at the vehicle Hunter had fallen on.

"Yeah it's a piece of crap, just like you," Hunter replied as Shawn jumped down next to him.

"Ready . . . aim . . . fire!" Shawn yelled at Lita, Trish and Carlito who pelted the McMahons will green balloons that exploded on impact.

"What is that smell?" Shane asked scrunching up his nose, "It smells like . . . urine! Oh my God Dad they're throwing urine at us!"

"Quick everybody into the water!" Vince commanded and the McMahons jumped overboard into a rescue boat Stephanie and Linda had lowered down seeing the balloons coming their way ages before Vince and Shane did. As the McMahons headed back to the compound, DX, Lita, Trish and Carlito got into the Predator 108 and rode off towards North Carolina where three boys, two Hardy and one Nature were expecting their arrival.

"That's my motor yacht, dammit DX you won't get away with this you hear me Triple H? You stupid sonofabtich!" Vince yelled shaking his fist at the departing vehicle, then water rose right over the McMahon Helmsley Compound submerging it completely, "My estate, it's destroyed!" Vince cried looked down at it from the rescue boat, "Call our pilot, we're going to LA together but we're going by air! We have to put a stop to child once and for all!"

"And how exactly are we gonna do that, I think it's a little too late for an abortion," Stephanie said furious that Chyna and Hunter had taken off with her father's new motor yacht.

"That girl is half McMahon still, she shares the same blood as the three of us, I say we show her just how much she's missing out on now that's she on her own with those degenerates," Vince said and Linda and Stephanie nodded knowing what Vince meant.

"The chopper's on its way," Shane said pocketing his cell phone.

"Good as soon as we get to LA we stop by Rodeo Drive and buy the whole damn toy store, then we get Aurora from Charlotte's house and give her a little going away present, as soon as she sees those toys she'll never hurt any of us ever again!" Vince said and the rest of the McMahon family nodded liking that idea very much.

"After all tricks are for kids right?" Linda said.

"Right," her family agreed.

_Yeah right_ God said to Carlito who laughed.

"What's so funny?" Lita asked him as she finally finished combing HBK's her hair.

"God has such a great sense of humor," Carlito replied and told everyone Vince's plan to stop Hurricane Aurora and they laughed along with Him.

"Hey Lita isn't that your mom and dad standing on the top of the ATM Machine?" Shawn said running his fingers through his copper gold hair not noticing the way Lita was staring at him until he turned around and saw her, "Lita, did you hear what I said?" he asked frowning at her puzzled at the look on her face which Trish quickly remedied by slapping her upside the head.

"He's only hanging out with you so he can get to Edge," Hunter quipped humorously and Lita came back to reality when she saw her parents waving furiously at her in the water, "I'll swing this bad boy around and pick 'em up," Hunter said and Lita sighed as Shawn and Carlito helped her parents into the Predator 108. She hugged her mom and scowled at her father, her friends picked up on the tension between them immediately, especially after Mr. Dumas decided that he wanted to ride the boat.

"Ya'll can go to North Cackey Lackey via Georgia, I used to own one of these, its the Predator 55," he said fiddling with all the knobs like he knew what he was doing.

"Actually its the Predator 108," Trish said.

"Like there's a difference," Mr. Dumas said and took everyone down South on a very bumpy, awkward and uncomforable ride especially for the red-head with the notoriously bad temper.


	3. Rocky Knows Best

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece?

Chapter Three - Rocky Knows Best

Lunchtime, Melina and Nitro's crib, 2013 and 21st Santa Monica Blvd, Beverly Hills, CA 90210

John Cena was lying upstairs on his stomach while Maria massaged his back in Melina and Nitro's room, the young couple were downstairs in the kitchen making lunch while Cena rested upstairs. Maria was pressing anointed massage oil into the bullet wound now as Melina had instructed saying that it would be just as healing as if she were to do it because Maria loved John so much. The bullet wound was just above where John got stabbed by Carlito's bodyguard a couple of years ago. He had been through so much Maria thought; they had been through so much and now Maria - CM Punk's ex-girlfriend was pregnant with Cena's first baby and she couldn't be happier than if she was the Women's Champion herself.

"How you feeling now baby?" she asked him tenderly stroking his ear as he smiled into the pillow under his face.

"Like I just got shot," Cena replied and turned slowly to look at the face of the woman that was carrying his first child, "Look Maria we gotta talk, do you really wanna have my baby?" he asked her with puppy dog eyes stroking the soft skin under her eyes gently and she smiled into his hand and caressed it lovingly.

"I've always wanted to have your baby, but then you had to start acting like a first class asshole and you were so horrible to me back at Rocky's house party John, how could you treat someone you love like that?" Maria asked angrily her ivory skin heating up turning her cheeks red.

"Because I - ouch!" Cena clenched his back as he replied in pain but Maria told him to lie back down, "No baby I have to say this," he said firmly, "I never wanted us to be anything more than a fling, I didn't want us to be like Melina and Nitro and get married or anything so I treated you like crap hoping you'd be the one to break up with me, then that punk came over crashing a WWE party like he was all that . . . and I lost it, the idea of losing you to CM Punk just made my blood boil and it was then that I realized that I did want us to be like Nitro and Melina,"

Maria's eyes shone with excitement, "So are you saying you wanna get married?" she asked nervously and Cena rolled his eyes and covered his face laying back down despondently, "I take that as a no," Maria said depressed by his response to her question, clutching her stomach thinking she was gonna be raising her baby alone after all, "So when you say you want us to be like Melina and Nitro you mean have mad passionate sex only with no wedding ring on either of our fingers right?"

"I'm sorry Maria but I'm just not ready to settle down," Cena said quietly covering his face with his arms so Maria couldn't see him cry, "I hope you don't hate me I gotta keep it real, I'm the Champ I can't be with you 24/7 how we gonna be a married couple if we're working all the time?"

"I'll quit, I'll retire just like ATM, I just announce anyway it's not like anyone's gonna miss my Kiss Cam! John don't worry about it we can make this work!" Maria replied hopeful that he would reconsider then those blue eyes stared back at her unconvinced.

"You just started like two years ago, why on Earth would you leave the best job in the world to raise a child on your own?" Cena asked her plainly and Maria's heart sank, he couldn't have been any clearer if he tried.

"So you're saying you don't want any part of this?" Maria asked despondently into her chest and Cena reached out to her but she got up and moved away from the bed.

"I gotta be real with you baby, I'm just not husband material but I do love you, so what you gonna do?" he asked her and she froze staring at him in disbelief.

"What am I gonna do?" she asked horrified by his insensitivity, "Well first I'll cry myself to sleep, then I might have a bath and get the smell of you off me, then I'll try and get dressed, have something to eat and put my make up on without tearing up and in about nine months I'll give birth to my first child, after that John I don't know,"

Cena jumped as Maria slammed the bedroom door cursing him all the way down the stairs, "Shit my back, Maria!" Cena hollered and followed her slowly downstairs to Melina and Nitro who wondered how long before this happened.

In the kitchen:

The smell of Spanish omlettes and chicken fajitas caught Cena's attention mostly because Maria was taking most of the food for herself and forgetting about him.

"Slow down mamá the food's still coming," Melina said taking some of the food off Maria's plate and sitting her down at the kitchen table, "Hungry John?" she asked the WWE Champ.

"Like a wolf," he replied about to take a fajita off the stove when Melina sat him down next to Maria.

"Eat with her, that's your child she's carrying," Melina told him and he did, "That's better so when you two getting married?"

Maria and John looked down at the plate and said nothing, just ate in silence until Melina slapped her spatula down hard on the plate and got both of their attention.

"I know you heard me ask you when you're getting married, so when are you gonna tie the knot?" she asked them firmly and Nitro shook his head listening to them while keeping the refrigerator warm.

"I don't think they are getting married baby," he observed, "What's wrong Cena? Maria not pretty enough for you?" he asked coming forward and pulling up a chair next to the troubled couple.

"It's not that Johnny," Cena replied.

"Well what is it?" Maria asked Cena angrily.

"I'll tell you what it is, it's some other senorita that's what it is," Melina said not pleased with this news at all and Maria gasped.

"Don't tell me your holding a candle for Ashley Massaro?" she said disgusted as Cena smiled and nodded arrogantly and Maria jumped to her feet in horror, "I knew there was a reason you guys were so friendly with each other last night, if I pierce my lip twice and get two boobs jobs I would still look better than her!" Maria snapped.

"You know it!" Melina agreed and the two divas slapped themselves a hi-five, "What do you see in that girl John? She's a slut!" she asked the WWE Champ who exchanged a coy glance with Nitro who whispered in his wife's ear exactly what Cena saw in Ashley and Melina covered her mouth like she was about to throw up.

"She's not just pierced on her face," Cena answered and Maria slapped him around his.

"So this is all about sex, you don't give a damn about Massaro do you? All you want is to brag about how you hit it with a Playboy cover girl and you know that is something I will never EVER do and I'm proud of that. Why do the good girls always want the jerks? What else does she got that I don't?" Maria exclaimed pulling her hair out furiously.

"Finish your food mamá you're eating for two now," Melina said moving the plate closer to Maria and away from Cena, "Well we're waiting?" she said to Cena, "Who would be the better mother Ashley or Maria?"

"Maria no doubt but this isn't about that," Cena explained and Melina thumped her hand down on the table sending the omlette Maria was eating up in the air, she caught it on the way back down though and ate it all up giving Melina a nod of appreciation for making such a good lunch, "Okay Melina you're scaring me," Cena replied as the Latina pierced his eyes with her own smoldering orbs.

"It's not me it's the child Maria's carrying that you should be scared of John," Melina replied, "Do you realize what's gonna happen if your baby grows up not knowing who you are? Tell him Nitro,"

"Huh?" Nitro said mid munch.

"Tell Cena how much it sucks to grow up without a father so he doesn't make the same mistake your papi did," Melina said.

"What the Hell are you talking about my father for? This is about Cena and Maria not me," Johnny replied very upset that Melina had said that in front of Maria and John.

"Are you okay Johnny?" Cena asked Nitro noticing how upset the former IC Champ was and Nitro tried to play down his emotions and not spoil Melina's wonderful lunch.

"No I'm cool, it's just that I didn't really get on with my dad but despite what my wife thinks I never let it stop me from wanting to be a father myself," Nitro replied staring daggers at Melina who stuck her tongue out at him, "Now thankfully I am one,"

Maria and Cena exchanged glances, "That's right," Nitro said picking up on their surprise, "Melina and I are gonna have a baby," he said smiling brightly.

"I'm pregnant," Melina told them smiling from ear to ear and Maria looked away her heart broken by the happy couple celebrating their first child when she couldn't even get Cena to keep his pants on.

"Congratulations," Cena said genuinely happy for Melina and Nitro, "You guys are gonna make great parents, the same cannot be said for me," he looked over at Maria who was trying to hide her tears behind her hand, "I think our baby has a better chance with you than with me and you, do you understand what I mean Maria?" he asked gently, "I'm just not ready to be a husband,"

Maria wiped her tears away harshly and nodded pulling up her tears and straightening her hair, "No you're right I can't force you to do be something your not: a loyal, faithful and loving husband," she said looking over at Melina and Nitro enviously, "I feel sick I think I'm gonna go upstairs and lay down," she said getting up and leaving the kitchen table, "Could you come upstairs with me Mel?" she asked Melina who nodded enthusiastically and the two mothers left the two fathers to discuss the best parts of Ashley's Playboy spread. Suddenly a loud bang startled the two men and they shot up and ran over to the window at the front of the house.

"O a le open up Holmes, we're starving out here!" came the obnoxious voice of Konnan who with Homicide and Hernandez were outside Melina and Nitro's crib and they weren't going anywhere until they got in.

"What are they doing here?" Cena said outraged that they had the nerve to stay in L.A. after what they did to him last night.

"Maybe they came to finish the job," Nitro said but Cena shook his head.

"Nah they didn't shoot me Punk did, they just jumped around and talked a lot of smack, I think Samoa Joe left to get a burger at one point," he said and Nitro laughed.

"I'll let them in," he said opening the door, "Hola amigos, what brings you to my humble abode?" he said grinning like a cheesy salesman.

"What's with you Holmes, you look like the happiest man on Earth?" Hernandez said as he and Homicide wheeled Konnan into the house with Samoa Joe following behind.

"Are those chicken fajitas I smell?" he said sniffing the air.

"Yeah but there's only one left," Nitro said, "Unless you want me to make you some I'm warning you I'm not as good a cook as my wife,"

"Then forget it, we only eat Hispanic food and if Melina ain't cooking we ain't eating, where's the little mamacita at?" Homicide said rubbing his hands together eagerly.

"She's busy can I help you with something?" Nitro said.

"No you can't gringo, we need Melina the Miraculous as you can see, Konnan ain't been feeling too good and we need your other half to heal our other half okay?" Homicide said.

"I'm sorry guys but she's busy you'll have to come back later," Nitro said and Homicide pulled out a .45 and aimed it at Nitro's head.

"I don't think you're hearing me Holmes, get that healing hermana down here now," he said menacingly and Nitro smiled knocking the gun away from his head.

"You can shoot me if you want its not like I'll die or anything but I guarantee you'll bleed to death if I shoot you," Nitro said, "Ain't no-one gonna miss a dead Hispanic gang banger in this area code know what I'm saying?"

"How much did you pay for this place?" Hernandez asked wheeling Konnan into the huge house checking it out impressed.

"2.5 mill, we might be selling it though we're gonna have a baby and it's only got two bedrooms," Nitro explained confiscating Homicide's gun who gave it up with a pout.

"You're having a baby?" Homicide asked him in shock.

"With Melina Perez vato?" Hernandez asked in just as much shock.

"Yeah ain't it cool I'm gonna be a daddy!" Nitro said happily.

"To a Hispanic baby," Konnan said derisively, "What you know about Puerto Rico blood, you down with our history and everything?"

"Well not really cause Melina's from Mexico I haven't covered Puerto Rico yet but Carlito's more than willing to help me get to know Latino culture better, in fact he's offered to be the baby's godfather," Nitro said following LAX around his house while Cena hid behind the couch.

"That's cool man, you're alright Nitro I like you," Homicide said patting Johnny on the back.

"That means a lot coming from a guy named Homicide," Nitro replied sarcastically and Hernandez laughed.

"His name is Nelson," Hernandez said.

"Man why you telling him my name, I'm Puerto Rican and don't you forget it," Homicide replied slapping Hernandez around the head.

"Anyway we know you'd never break Mel's heart, she's a down girl and she's definitely down witchu Nitro," Hernandez said.

"And I'm the last guy you three bastards should be sweating, have you even found Maria yet?" Nitro said and Cena's ears pricked up.

"We thought she'd be here with you two, she ain't come by or nuthin?" Homicide asked sitting by the kitchen table while Hernandez parked Konnan by the stove.

"What are you doing get out of there Joe!" Nitro said snatching the eggs and tomatoes out of the TNA star's hands.

"Konnan's gonna make us all something to eat, there's nothing else left," Joe explained.

"There's that chicken fajita over . . . there, what happened to the fajita that was right here?" Nitro said looking around the stove, Joe burped and the mystery was solved.

"You fat pig," Hernandez said, "you never think about anyone else, just for that you don't get none!"

"What?" Joe said violently and locked Hernandez in a Rear Naked Choke until he tapped out.

"What you waiting for Konnan fry him up some fajitas!" Hernandez cried and everyone laughed including John Cena.

"Who was that?" Homicide said standing to his feet recognizing the voice.

"Oh that's just John Cena hiding behind the couch like a little bitch, he's scared of getting shot again," Nitro said drinking the milk straight out of the carton.

"That's just wrong Nitro," Cena said from the living room and Hernandez and Homicide scowled as the WWE Champ came gingerly into the kitchen holding his back, "And I'm not scared of getting shot,"

"No but you're scared of being a father," Nitro said.

"Don't be talking about that in front of these guys, they're reason why everyone should use condoms," Cena said.

"The only person that should use condoms is you," Samoa Joe said pinning Cena to the refrigerator door with his arm about to punch his face in, "How you gonna get Maria pregnant knowing how Punk feels about her?"

"Johnny you just gonna stand there help me!" Cena cried out to Nitro who looked the other way.

"No entiendo ingles/I don't understand English," Nitro said.

"Looks like you're on your own gringo," Homicide said closing in on The Champ pounding his fists together, "What's the deal, why aren't you raising your child with Maria?"

"What difference does it make if I'm with Maria or not? Punk's going to prison for a long, long time and that's just fine with me, I ain't breaking up with Maria, I'm not breaking up with any of my girlfriends ha-ha!" Cena laughed and Nitro shook his head thinking Cena was pathetic, "I'll take care of the kid when it comes but I ain't getting married to make Maria feel better about herself, it didn't work for my father and it sure as Hell ain't gonna work for me, see you later Nitro and congratulations, now if you would just get your greasy hands off me I'll be leaving now," Cena said and Samoa Joe, LAX and Nitro all looked at each other deviously.

"Take out the trash guys," Nitro said and Homicide, Hernandez and Samoa Joe all threw Cena out of the house but they felt like they had let Punk down by not kicking his ass on principal.

"This sucks," Homicide said sitting back around the table.

"Maria's a single mother and the only man that gives a damn about her is in jail," Hernandez says.

"There's nothing we can do guys let's just eat, come on Konnan make with the fajitas," Samoa Joe said turning his attention back to the stove.

"There's a saying in the wrestling industry fellas," Nitro said removing his shades and hanging them from his shirt pocket, "Never say never, I got an idea of how we can get Punk out of jail, I'll be back in one second sit down and relax,"

The Indy stars watched as Nitro ran upstairs to talk to Melina wondering what he had in mind, they hoped it was illegal because doing things by the book was as boring as Hell.

Penthouse Suite, Four Seasons Hotel, Hollywood, CA:

The Rock was waiting for Jericho to come back with more ice while he played with Rey and Eddy's kids, his wife was in Florida with his and he needed somebody to play with and Dominic, Aaliyah, Shaul, Sherylin and Kaylee Marie were always fun to hang around with, they knew so much about wrestling it was better than hanging around with Chris, Jericho had problems, scary problems and they didn't, in fact, they didn't have a care in the world. The WWE Superstars were in L.A all week and Rey, Vicky and Chavo were shopping on Rodeo Drive with Britney Spears and Sean Preston. Hopefully they'd come back with lots of toys Rocky knew the kids would love that even though Dominic and Shaul were getting a bit big for toys, in fact he caught them looking at each other several times during Twister which for some reason he was winning.

"Get your butt out of The People's face!" Rocky yelled at Dominic while the girls jumped all over him.

"Somebody needs to call social services cause there's some crazy kids in this place!" Rocky said as the children mauled him as Jericho returned to the room, "Any sign of the billion dollar princess?" he asked the Ayatollah of Rock N' Rolla.

"Rocky I said I wanted to play Twister with you, shouldn't you brats be watching Avatar or something?" Jericho said rudely and the children rushed him to the carpet and tickled him stupid.

"Hello?" Rocky said answering his cell phone.

"Rocky where's Jericho?" Stephanie McMahon said about to land over Los Angeles with her family.

"He's getting mauled by Rey and Eddy's kids," Rock replied.

"Again? I told him to cut that out, tell him my family and I are going to Rodeo Drive to buy some toys for Aurora and I'd like him to meet us there," Stephanie said.

"You're so sweet to do that for your daughter and your family's coming too, you guys are the nicest people on the planet really, you don't get enough credit for all the good stuff that you do . . . what a minute what are you jabronis up to?" The Rock said getting the feeling that the McMahons were up to their old tricks.

"Stay out of this Dwayne, this is between me, Chyna and Hunter just tell Jericho I'll see him on Rodeo okay?" Stephanie instructed firmly.

"Stephanie wait!" Rocky called out but the billion dollar princess had already hung up, "That family is pure evil," he said and dialed LC's cell but it was disconnected, so he called HBK's, "Shawn you got a minute? I think Stephanie's up to something and it's got something to do with Aurora,"

"Yeah, you know what she's gonna do?" HBK said from the Predator 108 that was slowing creeping through the South, "She's gonna buy Aurora all the toys she can afford which is a lot, then the McMahons are gonna go to Charlotte's house and give the toys to Aurora hoping that when Ro-Ro sees them she'll get attached to them and not want to hurt the McMahons ever again and forget that they wrote her out of her inheritance,"

"They wrote Aurora Rose out of her inheritance?" Rock said horrified.

"They sure did, in the eyes of the law she is no longer a McMahon," Shawn said and Hunter snatched Shawn's cell-phone.

"Which is fine by me!" he yelled down it and Shawn snatched it back.

"So what's Aurora gonna do when she sees them?" Rocky asked curiously.

"Well let me ask you Rocky, have you ever made a snowman family?" Shawn asked the Brahma Bull.

"Sure we do it every Christmas . . . oh no way!" Rock said laughing, "Aurora ain't powerful enough to do that!"

"She destroyed Orlando twice, so don't worry about it Rocky Aurora's capable of taking care of herself," Shawn assured the concerned father who sighed relieved.

"That's a relief, so when are you guys coming to L.A?" he asked as the children continued to wail on Jericho who still handed gotten away from them yet.

"We um, well we're gonna be a while," Shawn replied tentatively watching the animosity growing between Lita and her father who refused to let Hunter drive despite the Anointed one asking him politely to stop - her patience was running out and that was bad for everyone aboard, "We gotta pick up Naitch and the Hardyz but I think Lita's dad wants to go home first,"

"Lita's dad what the Hell's he doing there I thought he hated Lita?" Rock asked confused.

"He does but Edge insisted he give her away next week," Shawn said not happy with that at all and The Rock picked up on that.

"Shawn can I make a bold statement?" Rock asked and Shawn rolled his eyes wondering since when was The Rock needing his permission to speak.

"G'head Rocky," Shawn said expecting to be insulted.

"Why don't you give Lita away at her wedding?" The Rock said and Shawn's eyes widened.

"Me?" he asked surprised at the suggestion.

"Yeah, you're her eternal soul mate who else is she gonna trust enough to give her away?" The Rock reasoned.

"Yeah but that's not something I think she'd be comfortable with, you know she used to have a crush on me?" Shawn said and The People's Eyebrow raised.

"Really? A woman had a crush on you?" he said and Shawn cut him off, "I just can't help myself," Rocky said and went to rescue Jericho from the little arms and legs kicking and punching him, they were only doing what everyone else wanted to do, those viewer disclaimers just don't work when it comes to Y2J.

Back on the Predator 108 HBK was thinking about what Rocky said, _me give Lita away, Edge wouldn't like that he's already pissed that we're so close but who else is gonna do is, her father's an asshole._

"Ow!" Shawn yelped as the Almighty Father gave him a migraine for speaking ill against another, "Sorry Father what do you want me to do?" he asked God aloud and Carlito tapped him on the shoulder and he turned to the cool one, "What did He say I should do?" he asked him.

"Whatever's in your heart," Carlito answered and Shawn searched his heart and made his decision. He rose to his feet and walked towards the man driving at a snails pace incurring more and more of Anointed Amy's wrath with every breath he took.

"Excuse me sir," he said tapping Mr. Dumas on the shoulder.

"What?" Mr. Dumas snapped angrily turning his head to see HBK smiling back at him, "This better be good kid I'm navigating my ass off here,"

"We've only got room for six people and with Mrs. Dumas that makes seven, we're violating like a million US laws right now," Shawn explained and Mr. Dumas shrugged.

"So what you saying boy, somebody has to get off?" he asked, "Well you look like a good swimmer go for it,"

Shawn looked at Hunter who looked at him and they both grabbed Mr. Dumas, snatching his hands off the wheel and pulled him into the lower deck. They tied him up and left him down there and came back up to a round of applause especially from Lita.

"You should have tossed his ass overboard," Mrs. Dumas said.

"No that wouldn't be the Christian thing to do," Shawn said and nodded to Lita to come over to him, "Come here Amy I wanna ask you something," he said in his Southern drawl that had Lita's mom blushing.

"Trish!" Mrs. Dumas cried when The Truth threw water on her and told her to cool off, women lost their minds when Shawn opened his mouth, Lita had been one of those women and she wasn't as far from her old self as she thought she was when HBK took her hand and squeezed it gently.

"Amy how would you feel about me giving you away at your wedding?" Shawn asked her gently, "I don't wanna put you on the spot or anything but I think your father would sell you into slavery if he could get $1 million dollars out of it and your worth more than that,"

"I am?" Lita said liking what she was hearing and Chyna frowned at Hunter who responded with a wink which Chyna returned with a kiss.

"Don't you know how much you're worth?" Shawn said stroking Lita's hair and Trish felt her knees get weak and Carlito held her up and Mrs. Dumas splashed some water on her face to cool her off.

"How much am I worth Shawn? I want to hear it from your lips," Lita said her eyes glazing over, the motor yacht heating up suddenly and everyone knew why.

"Why don't you let Edge answer that question and I would be honored to be the one to make that happen," Shawn replied with a smile and Lita hugged him.

"Yes I would love you to give me away Shawn, let's call Edge and tell him I'm sure it won't matter," Lita said reaching for her cell.

"Edge is out of his mind if he lets you anywhere near that church next week," Chyna told Shawn and Lita frowned at her.

"Why do you say that Joanie?" Lita asked confused.

"Are you kidding me? You used to shower with a picture of HBK taped up inside the cubicle!" Joanie said and everyone burst out laughing, "Edge ain't gonna have Shawn give you away, you might change your mind and marry him instead!"

Lita dismissed Joanie's comment, "That ain't gonna happen sweetie, that was a long time ago, I don't feel that way about Shawn anymore," the phone rang and Edge answered, "Hey babe, Shawn gonna give me away at our wedding your cool with that right?" she asked her fiancé and the look on Lita's face told a different story, "You did what, why did you do that I don't even know him? Edge you really did it this time, I don't care I want him to give me away and if he don't want him at the wedding then you can just un-invite him, okay I'll ask him right now, Shawn?" Lita said turning her attention to the Showstoppa who wondered what Edge told her, "Do you mind if Bret Hart comes to the wedding?"

"WHAT?" Shawn roared, "Edge invited Bret Hart to the wedding?"

"If you don't want him there he won't come just tell me what you'd prefer," Lita said.

"Okay I'd prefer if he didn't come, I'd prefer if he'd jump out the window too and fall to his death and get out of my life forever too, could you ask Edge to arrange that for me?" Shawn said sarcastically and Mrs. Dumas shook her head.

"That's not very Christian Shawn," she said.

"Lady you don't know how deep this goes," Shawn told her his fists clenched and teeth gnashed at the sound of Bret Hart's name, "Well what did Edge say, is he still coming?"

Lita nodded, "Edge says Bret Hart helped him get into the WWE back in the day he wants him to be there and you should be getting on with your life and staying out of ours," she said and Shawn nodded.

"Okay I won't go, you can find someone else to give you away, there's no way I can be in the same room as that man," Shawn sighed frustrated and disappointed that he couldn't be there for Lita when she needed him.

"Edge hold on," Lita said and she came over to Shawn and smiled holding the phone away from her mouth, "Do you think you and Bret could co-exist for just one day? I really want you to be there Shawn please just let it go," she asked him sincerely her hazel orbs flickering with hope and there was a surge of heat rising up from nowhere and spreading around the yacht filling everyone with a sweet feeling of love. Joanie took Lita's cell and told Edge she'd call him back and hung up leaving the Rated R Superstar wondering what was going on back in America.

"There's something going on here," Joanie told Hunter who embraced her lovingly as he rode over the flood water to North Carolina.

"Baby I've said that so many times I've lost count," he replied leaving Joanie wondering if Lita was as over her crush on HBK as she said she was, she needed to find out and she was going to find out from the two men who knew her better than anyone else, Matt and Jeff Hardy.


	4. Meet Me in St Louis Vuitton

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece?

A/N: This chapter contains material that some may find offensive.

Chapter Four - Meet Me in St. Louis Vuitton

Back at Melina and Nitro's crib:

Nitro opened the door of his bedroom and didn't see Melina or Maria there but he noticed the bathroom door was ajar and two women's voices were coming from it so he walked towards it.

"Yo Mel I got something to ask - whoa sorry oh gees!" Nitro blushed as he saw his wife having a bath with Maria, "I'm so sorry Maria I thought . . . I mean okay I'll talk to you later honey bye,"

Melina laughed at how embarrassed her husband was over seeing her in the bathtub with Maria, it was a blessing that he was nothing like John Cena who would have jumped in with them, "I'll be out in awhile baby I'm just blessing our unborn children,"

"How long do you think that'll take?" Nitro said trying to get the image of Maria naked with her hair tied back out of his head.

Melina laid Maria back so she was completely immersed in the water with her eyes closed, her skin clean with no trace of make up on her face; it was like a baptism only Melina was using her Divine healing powers through the Holy Spirit, a living, breathing spirit that filled the bathroom to cleanse Maria's soul.

"You gonna be much longer baby?" Nitro asked getting hot and bothered as the steam from the bathroom warmed him up even more making him take his shirt off.

"As long as it takes baby, Maria's been through a lot of heartache her baby can't feel any of that or she'll be in for a very difficult pregnancy," Melina answered.

"But baby do you have to be in the bathtub with her, I don't think the Holy Spirit would mind if you wore a bikini or something," Nitro said and Melina laughed, "What's so funny?" Nitro asked waving his hands in front of his face furiously trying to cool off.

"All you men ever think about is sex, that's why you won't come in here and watch this demonstration of my miraculous healing powers," Melina said and Nitro got offended.

"No baby the reason I won't come in there is because I don't really think it's appropriate for me to see Maria completely naked," Nitro defended himself.

"But it's alright to drool over Ashley Massaro's Playboy photos right?" Melina said.

"I wasn't drooling over them I was just discussing them!" Nitro said offended and Maria got irritated, this whole conversation was disturbing her concentration and Melina noticed she was getting a little distressed.

"You want me to tell him to wait downstairs mama?" Melina asked massaging Maria's shoulders making the fiery brunette relax and she began to slide back down into the water but before she immersed herself completely she turned to Melina and nodded to the door.

"Tell him to come in so he can watch," she said with a naughty smirk and Melina shook her head pushing her damp raven curls out of her face so Maria could see her eyes.

"I'm not having sex with you, I'm not Mickie James, I like men Maria and I know you do too you're just having a rough time that's all but it will get better I promise!" Melina pleaded but Maria just smiled and kissed her aggressively, Melina finally got away from her and screamed her head off at which point Nitro came back into the bathroom only to wish he never left in the first place because what he saw was the hottest HLA he'd ever seen.

Melina wondered what on Earth her husband was doing just standing there while Maria wrestled with her in the bathtub trying to kiss her again, "Why aren't you getting her off me?" Melina screamed incredulous at her husband's attitude and it got worse: Nitro left the bathroom, came back and had a chair with him which he then sat on and watched Maria try to get Melina to kiss her.

"Don't fight it honey let her get out all her aggression, let's go Maria whooo!" Nitro said cheering Maria on while Melina wished she had never left Florida to come home and deal with this nonsense and hoped that Dumas and Stratus were on their way here soon, preferably with St. Michaels whose kiss could turn even the gayest of women straight.

"ARGH!" Krystal and Shelton screamed as they came into see what all the commotion was telling LAX to stay downstairs while they checked it out and not to steal anything, "Melina what are you doing?" Shelton asked his mouth dropping in disbelief, "You're a lesbian? Say it ain't so mama say it ain't so?"

"It ain't so, Krystal get her off me!" Melina cried covering herself the best she could while Shelton argued with Nitro for just watching his wife get assaulted, his defense being that it was just a little Hot Lesbian Action.

"Are you telling me you don't find this arousing?" Nitro asked Shelton who handed Krystal a big towel to cover up Melina with while he pulled Maria into a bathrobe and carried her into the bedroom.

"No I don't, she's pregnant for Heaven's sake and so is your wife, how could be so perverted you're a Christian man?" Shelton asked disgusted with Nitro's behavior and the other half of MNM shrugged.

"It was just for fun, Cena was over a while ago and we were talking about Ashley Massaro's Playboy spread -" Shelton cut Nitro off.

"Hold up you were reading Playboy?" Shelton asked horrified and Nitro shrugged.

"Yeah so?" he said not seeing what the problem was.

"What do you mean yeah so? Don't you know what the Bible says about pornography? Jesus said that a man that looks at another woman with lust in his heart has already committed adultery!" Shelton explained.

"Where does it say that?" Nitro frowned not recognizing the Scripture much to Shelton's horror.

"Matthew 5:28, now you've betrayed your wife by looking at another, the spirit of lust is running wild on you Nitro and now you're gonna have an affair!" Shelton said angrily and Nitro baulked.

"No I'm not I love my wife, hey baby you know I would never cheat on you right?" Nitro called to his wife as Krystal tried to calm her down, Melina had never experienced HLA before and she didn't like it one bit.

"Of course I know you would never cheat on me Johnny, Maria's messed up and she needs help I think we better call Trish and Lita and tell them what happened," Melina said getting dressed with Krystal shielding her from Shelton's eyes.

"Okay-okay but first I told LAX I'd figure out a way to get CM Punk out of prison and the idea I came up with was to make Cena's bullet wounds disappear," Nitro said and Shelton and Krystal looked at each other puzzled.

"Disappear?" Melina said drying her hair and trying to get dressed at the same time, Krystal helped her by pinning her hair up for her, "You mean I should make it look like Punk never shot him?"

"Exactly, there would be no evidence to convict him of attempted murder and Punk and Maria could be boyfriend and girlfriend again, maybe they could be more than that," Nitro said enthusiastically and Melina's face brightened.

"Oooh I love the way your mind works!" she said impressed then her face caved, "But I can't do it," she said regretfully pulling on her over-the-knee socks as Krystal fixed her hair.

"What do you mean you can't do it?" Nitro asked confused thinking it was the perfect solution to Maria's problems.

"I can't do it because I would be re-writing history; Punk shot Cena and he should pay for his crime, you know I want Maria to be with him but he shot someone Johnny, he can't get away with that so Maria has someone to help raise her child," Melina explained.

"But you're the one whose always going on about how important it is for a child to have two parents," Nitro argued.

"Yes but not at the expense of the law, Maria will be fine she's not going to be helpless, she has all of us after all right guys?" Melina said to Shelton and Krystal who nodded.

"Right," Shelton and Krystal both said and Nitro sighed.

"Sorry baby but I won't use the gift God gave me so Punk can get out of prison, as far as I'm concerned crime does not pay and you can tell LAX to talk to me if they've got a problem with that," Melina said straightening out her skirt and Nitro nodded.

"You okay?" he asked Melina coming over to her and putting his arms around her.

"What were you and Maria doing in there anyway, washing each other's hair?" Krystal asked trying to inject some humor into a very awkward situation; Krystal and Shelton had just come over for lunch they weren't expecting to have to stop Maria from sexually assaulting Melina.

"I was trying to protect her baby because when the mother is broken hearted the baby feels it and it can cause irregular childbirth and stuff like that," Melina explained.

"So why did you get in the bath tub with her?" Shelton asked rubbing Maria's back trying to calm her down as she lay on Melina and Nitro's bed wrapped in a huge white towel trembling and looking scared.

"Because I have to perform the cleansing in the water like a Pastor would a baptism," Melina answered reflecting on the last half hour, "Something must have happened when Johnny came in because she jumped out of her meditative state and started coming onto me like really aggressively, you know I've never been into girls Marshall," Melina explained and Krystal shook her head saying that she wasn't either, "But I never thought being a lesbian was really a bad thing until now, what came over Maria was not of God but of the devil and I have got to get to it out of her before she loses another baby,"

The room went deftly quiet at those words and they all looked over at Maria worriedly; Melina meant no offense she was right to be concerned because judging by the look on Maria's face she was far from okay. Her usually sweet and warm glow had disappeared into a type of scowl turning her ivory completion grey and she didn't look like a babe of the year candidate anymore. Something was wrong that much they all knew but as far as Shelton Benjamin was concerned it was all Nitro's fault, he had broken God's law and unleashed a demon not like the ones ATM faced in the past but one more pleasing to the eye known in biblical terms as the Whore of Babylon and Maria had been her first victim.

Louis Vuitton-Beverly Hills: 295 N. Rodeo Drive, 3pm:

Jericho and The Rock were waiting for Stephanie McMahon to arrive and were surprised to find out that she was meeting them here, The Rock was under the impression that she and her family were going to buy toys for Aurora, and so were Dominic, Shaul, Sherilyn and Kaylee Marie who had come along for the spree.

"Is this a joke?" The Rock asked Y2J who was checking out a Louis Vuitton speaker, "Stephanie's isn't seriously thinking of shopping for her baby girl here is she? There isn't a toy in sight,"

"That's not true, I could play with this all night," Jericho said picking up a Louis Vuitton fender guitar and playing one of his songs. A sales clerk came over to him and told him to stop much to his anger, "Excuse me? Don't tell me what to do junior I actually matter so get out of my way before I smack you around the head!"

"Jericho don't talk to him like that what's the matter with you?" came the unimpressed voice of Torrie Wilson who was carrying a brand new Louis Vuitton carry on handbag, "I come here all the time and I'd like to keep it that way so behave yourself,"

"Whatever," Jericho said and went back to his guitar playing while The Rock and Torrie Wilson exchanged hugs.

"Can I see your new bag Torrie?" Shaul, Eddy Guerrero's first child said.

"Sure," Torrie said taking the expensive new bag off her shoulder, Shaul opened it up and examined the lining.

"It's real!" she said and her younger sister Sherilyn slapped her head thinking how dumb her older sister was and nudged Dominic.

"What do you see in her?" she asked him and he blushed.

"Keep quiet!" he said under his breath but everyone heard him.

"Seriously Dom, Shaul's stupid, she things that M&Ms are fattening and junk food is bad for you, why would you want to hang around a girl who thinks like that?" Kaylee Marie asked and Rocky shushed them.

"Guys we've got company, why don't you give Ms. Wilson her bag back now sweetie?" Rocky asked Shaul who did and Torrie smiled at her sweetly while Dominic, Sherylin and Kaylee Marie debated something and The Rock sighed, "What are you three going on about now?" he said wishing they'd be quiet for a second, they were always talking about someone or something they had no business discussing.

"We were just wondering why Torrie's still single that's all, you called her Ms. Wilson, shouldn't she be Mrs. Wilson by now?" Sherylin asked and Dominic and Kaylee Marie nodded.

"That's it I'm calling your parents - Rey, Vicky come here and get these nosy kids The Rock's had enough!" The Rock called to Rey Mysterio and Vicky Guerrero who were checking out the sunglasses and hats over in the accessories section of the massive boutique and there was still no sign of Stephanie and the rest of the McMahon family.

"Rocky its fine, I think they're cute," Torrie said calmly, "In fact, I've been wondering the same thing lately, do you think you could hook me up with anybody?"

The Rock laughed, "You need The Rock to hook you up? Torrie I suggest you take off those huge sunglasses so you can see straight, you're gorgeous ask anyone in this store if they'll go out with you and The Rock guarantees they'll say yes, g'head give it a shot,"

"But I don't want anybody, I want a husband," Torrie said, "I'm sick of dating, every guy I see expects me to take my clothes off after the check arrives,"

"Maybe you should have thought of that before you did Playboy 2 times in a row," The Rock said and the children laughed and made bunny ears with their hands recognizing the Playboy reference and Torrie laughed at how cute they were.

"I just want what you have, aren't I allowed to be happily married like everyone else in the WWE?" Torrie said regretfully and The Rock looked at her like she was crazy.

"In the past year and a half, Shawn Michaels wife has been shot dead by police, Jericho and Chyna have broken up Hunter and Stephanie's marriage, Vicky's lost Eddy and Jericho's lost his mind, apart from Vince and myself, the only person in the WWE who's happily married is Melina and she's only been with Nitro for a month, get real Torrie no-one's better off because they've got a wedding ring on their finger, love is too complicated to wrap a gold band around, as you know," The Rock said referring to Billy Kidman and Torrie Wilson's divorce and Torrie started to cry and The Rock pulled her into a hug which she needed badly, "Okay-okay mama, let the Rock give you a break, who do you see yourself with on the WWE roster?"

Shaul handed the Playboy cover girl a Louis Vuitton tissue from her pocket and Torrie took it saying thank you.

"What about Randy Orton, he's single and cute!" Kaylee Marie said and Dominic rolled his eyes.

"He's alright," Dominic said dismissing Orton as a contender, he still hadn't forgiven the Legend Killer for saying Uncle Eddy was in Hell last year, to him Randy Orton was still a no good sonofabitch and he figured Torrie could do better.

"What about Uncle Shawn?" he suggested and Torrie's eyes lit up.

"Yes he's perfect, do you think you could put the word out that I'm still interested?" she asked The Rock jumping up and down and The People's Champ jumped up and down with her.

"No," he said after awhile and Torrie frowned and stopped jumping and stared at The Rock confused, "He's already spoken for sorry you're better off with Orton,"

"No!" Dominic said adamantly, "She can do much better than the Legend Killer, I think Torrie and Uncle Shawn would be a great match don't you sis?" Dominic asked his baby sister who had crawled into Torrie's Louis Vuitton carry on thinking it was a really cool place to hide since it was so big, "Hey where's Aaliyah?" Dominic said looking around not knowing where Aaliyah was after she had climbed into the bag and started to play inside it.

"Aaliyah get out of there, that bag costs more than Vince's last haircut," The Rock said fishing the little mamacita out but Torrie, who couldn't care less about her latest piece of luxury luggage, pulled him to one side leaving Aaliyah to entertain herself inside the leather maze.

"Whose the lucky lady Shawn's hooking up with?" she asked jealously and The Rock wasn't sure if she was able to function as a rational human being right now so he kept his mouth shut.

"All I'm saying is you're better off going out with someone whose standards aren't as high as HBK's, I mean sure Rebecca went crazy but it was with love, she was a Christian and the mother of his children, you're just a good-looking whore with fake tits, can I go now?" The Rock said and Torrie laughed and slapped The Rock around the face.

"I was just leaving," she said and picked up her bag with Aaliyah still inside and left the store.

"Hey come back Rey-Rey's kid is in there!" The Rock said and the same sales clerk that told Jericho to be quiet was now telling him the same thing, "Put a sock in it jabroni and call security, Torrie's kidnapped Aaliyah Mysterio!" he yelled and Rey-Rey heard him and ran towards the exit where Torrie was still standing.

"Stop!" he yelled but when he got to the entrance Vince, Shane, Linda and Stephanie McMahon were just making their entrance and blocked his path, "Torrie's got my children!" he told them and they shrugged not caring much about anyone else's problems right now.

"Shouldn't you be leaving for San Diego right now?" Shane told him patronizingly, "We've got a house show at 7,"

"I'm still injured asshole I won't be back until this summer, if I don't sign with TNA that is," Rey said furious that they were blocking the entrance preventing him from getting to Torrie Wilson as she strutted down the avenue like a movie star.

"She's staying at the Wilshire, we'll catch her before she goes to LAX," Vicky said bringing her children with her and pushing past Stephanie rudely, "Excuse me some of us still care about what happens to their children," she said giving the billion dollar princess a dark look before running after Torrie Wilson with Rey and the rest of the children. The Rock was about to leave also but Vince wouldn't let him get by either.

"Wait don't you want to see what we bought for precious little Aurora Rose?" he said his black eyes widening with mischief.

"This is gonna be good," The Rock said sarcastically, "I'll catch up with you guys!" he called to Rey and Vicky who ran after Ms. Wilson.

"Oh you're right about that, come here Mariah!" Shane called and The Rock noticed that there were a sea of people outside and a massive gathering of paparazzi like at a Hollywood premier. Emerging from the crowd was none other than the multi-time Grammy award-winning Mariah Carey complete with entourage and sparkling white teeth.

"Hello," she said to the People's Champ who raised a People's Eyebrow.

"What in God's name is she doing here?" The Rock asked not liking where this was going.

"Is that anyway to talk to Aurora Rose's own personal vocal coach?" Linda McMahon said.

"She's gonna teach Aurora Rose to sing!" Stephanie said excitedly.

"Aurora can't even talk how the Hell's she gonna sing?" The Rock said confused.

"She can talk among other amazing things and when she recognizes her favorite singer's voice she's gonna wanna sound just like her, when we get in touch with Charlotte we'll tell her to come down here so Aurora and Mariah can spend some time together. Aurora will be so excited to see her she'll never do a naughty thing against the McMahon family ever again, so Hunter and I can get divorced without America freezing over, being flooded or swept away by a hurricane," Stephanie explained and The Rock looked between Jericho and Stephanie wondering who was truly the craziest out of them both.

"So what do you say Rocky, wanna stay for the show?" Shane O'Mac asked slapping Rocky on the arm disingenuously as The People's Champ called Charlotte's cell-phone and told her where they were.

"They're on their way," he said trying not to laugh, "let the madness begin," The Rock said closing his cell phone and kissing Mariah's hand and the diva giggled childishly pretty much like the ice princess whose arrival The McMahons were eagerly anticipating thinking they had Hurricane Aurora right in the palm of their hands, some people never learn.

Charlotte, North Carolina, 3pm:

Homecoming was a long ways away but the homecoming queen was just crowned by thousands of North Carolinians as Lita came to town not to stay but to meet up with some old friends. The welcome North Carolina gave her was refreshing and most appreciated. NC had forgotten the love triangle that had torn her life apart and were very appreciative of her efforts in the war on terror in Iraq. There were banners, flowers, American, Canadian, Puerto Rican flags and screaming fans everywhere as the Predator 108 docked and Lita, her mom, Trish, Carlito, Shawn, Hunter and Chyna arrived to meet Ric Flair and the Hardy Boyz. As far as they were concerned, Lita had proven herself a true American in every sense of the word and was welcome in Charlotte with arms wide open: not bad for a Wednesday afternoon, in the distance they all saw the reason for the all the "Whooos", Ric Flair was waving furiously at them and on either side of him where Matt and Jeff Hardy.

Shawn frowned at Hunter, "Ric's hair is green, Jeff must have gotten busy with the hair dye again," he said and Hunter rolled his eyes flicking his honey blond locks arrogantly.

"If it ain't broke don't fix it right babe?" he said to Chyna who looked at her hair and rubbed her chin thoughtfully.

"Blond is so over Hunter, you should get your hair dyed too," she said and Shawn laughed, "What?"

"Nothing it's just that Hunter is more likely to walk up and down Charlotte butt naked then change his hair color,"

Shawn answered and Chyna noticed that HBK was blond too, at least sometimes.

"You're right you're fine just the way you are Hunter, something's should never change," she said noticing how Shawn's hair flickered between copper gold and autumn red and his eyes changed between warm brown and ocean blue-grey, "Still channeling Lita's spirit I see," she said and Shawn nodded.

"It never stops we're eternal soul mates remember?" Shawn reminded Chyna as they strolled through the crowd waving at fans and signing as many autographs as they could.

"I remember, Lita's pretty hot isn't she?" Chyna said blowing kisses to the fans who hadn't forgotten her at all.

"What are you talking about Joanie?" Shawn asked wondering why she was talking about Lita so much.

"Nothing its just that if I were a widower and I was good looking, funny, intelligent, an accomplished wrestler and father of two beautiful children, I'd want a woman to share a bed with you who knew what to do in the bedroom and not lay there frozen like a deer in headlights," Joanie replied and Shawn burst out laughing knowing she was talking about Stephanie McMahon.

"I hear you," Shawn said and Hunter nodded.

"You'd think she'd know what I like by now," he said reflecting on his sex life with his ex-wife and Joanie squeezed his butt.

"Don't worry I haven't forgotten a thing," she said suggestively and Hunter's face lit up with mischief.

"Do you guys mind if we stay behind and Christen Vince's brand new motor yacht?" he asked everyone and Shawn yanked him by his ear and dragged him through the crowd waving at all the DX fans, "So that's a no?" Hunter said as Shawn dragged him towards the green haired Flair and the green eyed Jeff Hardy who was leaning on his black haired brother Matt.

"Hey boys sorry we're late, bad weather and all you been here long?" Shawn asked them as Matt hugged Lita's mom and Flair kissed Trish's hand.

"Whooo!" he said and Carlito rolled his eyes thinking the green dye had seeped through to his brain.

"Yeah whooo," he said sarcastically pulling Trish away from him.

"Thanks," she said wrapping her arms around him, "we need to get to a TV,"

"Why is Passions on?" Chyna said clapping her hands enthusiastically and Hunter started to panic hoping he hadn't missed it.

"No Passions is not on, but The McMahons are and you guys won't believe who with," Trish replied smiling.

"I already know who they're with," Carlito bragged and Trish squeezed his beautiful lips together and hushed him.

"Let's go Naitch," Shawn said waving goodbye to all the fans and Ric Flair led the way to his limousine where inside they watched Mariah Carey's performance at Louis Vuitton on Rodeo Drive with Special Guests The McMahons.

"Is that Mariah Carey?" Matt Hardy frowned chugging his water down staring at the LCD screen.

"Rocky looks like he's about to wet himself," Shawn observed, "What is she doing there?"

"You're about to find out," Trish said watching eagerly as Charlotte, Dan, her parents, Carla, LC and Aurora Rose entered the over-priced boutique.

Live from Louis Vuitton, Mariah Carey began to serenade Aurora Rose who started crying loudly as the diva sang Music Box as Stephanie McMahon requested.

"Why is she crying she loves this song?" Linda asked her daughter confused as Aurora screamed the place down.

Stephanie told Mariah to keep going but the diva was struggling to hear herself sing Aurora was screaming so loud, eventually she asked Stephanie if she should check if Aurora was sick noticing how cold the young child's skin was and Stephanie told her to keep singing, but the more Mariah sang the louder Aurora cried until people started to leave and the store manager told the camera men to kill the feed and cancel the show.

"No keep going she's fine she's just playing up, she loves you she really does!" Stephanie argued and picked up her daughter, "Come on baby sing with Mariah!" she encouraged her but Aurora sneezed snot all over her mother's face and started crying even louder.

"Oh my God!" Mariah Carey cried as Louis Vuitton started to ice over, "I'm outta here you need to get that child to a hospital!" she said skating out of the store with her entourage leaving the McMahons confounded.

"Why is she so upset?" Vince asked, "The toy store's still open I say we take her there right now!"

LC had taken all she could and kicked Mr. McMahon in the shins.

"Lisa stop that!" Charlotte rebuked her sister, "I think we better leave," she said taking her adoptive sister by the hand and escorting her to the door but LC pulled away from her and ran up to the camera man.

"Are we still live?" she asked him and he nodded, then she recognized who the camera man was, "David?" she said and Carla came over to him too.

"You recognized me?" David said gratefully, "I got this gig because of the work I did with you guys at Stone Mountain Park, Atlanta, GA; E! said I had a knack for capturing the moment,"

"Good for you nerd-linger, just keep the camera rolling okay?" LC told him and he nodded as she and Carla looked into the camera, "Dad I need you to bail me out of prison because I'm about to kill Stephanie McMahon," she said.

"And I'm gonna help her," Carla said.

"Aurora is so missing you right now she's gonna freeze herself to death!" LC cried, "I've got an idea how to keep her amused until you get here but get your hands out of mommy's sweater and get here now!"

Carla motioned to Jericho to play The Game by Motorhead and the Ayatollah of Rock N' Rolla refused insisting on playing Fozzy until The Rock threatened to throw him through the window and he quickly changed his mind.

"Time to play the game," LC said grabbing Mariah's microphone and Aurora stopped crying as the familiar music thundered through the speakers, "TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!" LC roared and Aurora started smiling, "MUHAHAHAHA," LC laughed in tune with the music and Aurora started to laugh with her. As Jericho played guitar, Dan played drums and Charlotte played bass, the ice started to melt and people entered the store to hear Triple H's theme tune live from Louis Vuitton courtesy of Lisa Cornelius Helmsley and Carla B. Cool.

_It's all about the game and how you play it  
All about control and if you can take it  
All about your debt and if you can pay it  
It's all about pain and who's gonna make it _

_I am the game and you don't wanna play me  
I am control, no way you can shake me  
I am heavy debts, no way you can pay me  
I am the pain and I know you can't take me_

_Look over your shoulder, ready to run  
Like a flaming pitch from a smokin gun  
I am the game and I make the rules  
So move on out and you can die on your foot  
Try to figure out what my move's gonna be  
Come on over, sucker, why don't you ask me?  
Don't you forget there's a price you can pay  
Cause I am the game and I want to play..._

_Jericho ripped through the bridge to great applause to Stephanie McMahon's horror and the whole store was moshing as were the people listening outside. The show was a hit and it was all because of her husband, his daughters and their great taste in music._

"Wow who is that little girl with the blond hair and hazel eyes?" Mariah Carey asked her manager wrapped in her Chinchilla coat inside her stretch limo.

"According to USA Today she's Triple H's little girl from a previous relationship with his ex-girlfriend Chyna," he answered and Mariah nodded.

"I see the resemblance, maybe its time I had a little girl you know pass on the talent like he did," she thought nodding her head to LC's vocalings.

"Would you like to go back inside and meet her?" he asked as the song drew to a close, "Maybe you could teach her to sing instead of that other one with the cold temperature?"

"No I think she's already in good hands, let's go," Mariah replied and pulled out while the spectators and media applauded Lisa, her friends and family.

"That was for you Daddy, now get your horny ass over here and sign these divorce papers quick! " LC said into the camera David kept on her capturing the whole performance.

"No!" Stephanie cried into the camera, "I'm your true love, stay with me!" she said scaring Hunter, Chyna and everyone else half to death, except Trish who remained cool, calm and collected like her other half.

LC bit the billion dollar princess' hand and Stephanie yelped in pain dropping Aurora in the process, everyone screamed in horror as Aurora fell luckily LC was right there to catch her and everyone booed Stephanie's careless behavior.

"Stephanie McMahon just dropped her eight month old daughter!" a media reporter yelled and suddenly the billion dollar princess was surrounded by a forest of angry news reporters.

"On second thoughts Daddy, stay where you are I don't think you'll have any problems getting a divorce now," LC said relieved and Aurora waved at the camera bringing a tear to Hunter's eye which Chyna kissed away.

"Those were tears of joy baby," Hunter said with a smile as the show ended and went to E! News headlines, the first of which was 'McMahon drops baby while shopping at Louis Vuitton on Rodeo Drive.'


	5. The Whore of Babylon

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece?

Chapter Five - The Whore of Babylon

Grand Wilshire Hotel, Beverly Hills, CA:

Torrie Wilson entered the famous hotel to the stars with Rey and Vicky hot on her heels but she didn't care or even notice that her bag was much heavier than usual, she was blinded by her own desire to be Shawn Michaels' new wife. She pressed the call button and tapped her golden Gucci sandal until it came and bolted in before Rey and Vicky could catch her.

"What is their problem?" she said ruffling her eyebrows as the bellboy took her Louis Vuitton bag from her, "It's not like I've got something that belongs to them,"

"Excuse me ma'am did you know you have a little girl in your bag?" he told her and she gasped.

"We need to go back down!" she cried hitting all the buttons and the bellboy tried to calm her down but she had pressed the penthouse suite and ended up there with Aaliyah Mysterio who was laughing and refused to leave the warm leather interior or Torrie Wilson for that matter.

"I think she likes it in there," the bellboy observed and Torrie sighed.

"Vicky's gonna think I'm out of my mind," she panicked taking Aaliyah out of the bag and smiling warmly at her, "I'm so sorry sweetie I'll take you back downstairs to your family okay?"

Aaliyah shook her head, "Deseo permanecer con usted!/ I want to stay with you!" she pouted reaching up to play with Torrie's golden earrings.

"You don't understand English?" Torrie said getting more and more worried as the minutes passed, "Oh dear, here baby play with these until we get to the ground floor then I want them back,"

Aaliyah put the earrings on and just as the elevator doors began to close, Britney Spears and her son Sean Preston stepped in.

"Hey Torrie!" Sean beamed and Torrie sighed.

"This isn't what it looks like," she told the young mother and her young son who was sucking on a soda can while Britney removed her sunglasses to make sure she wasn't seeing things.

"Aaliyah?" she said confused, "What are you doing in that gorgeous Louis Vuitton carry-on muchacha?"

"Estoy ocultando de Dominic/ I'm hiding from Dominic," Aaliyah replied.

"¿Él está poniendo los movimientos en Shaul otra vez?/Is he putting the moves on Shaul again?" Preston asked and Aaliyah sighed.

"¡Necesito una rotura de esos dos!/ I need a break from those two!" she replied agitated, "¿Ése es porqué estoy colgando hacia fuera con Torrie Wilson, ella me dio estos pendientes nuevos frescos y desea casar a tío Shawn, usted lo piensa tiene gusto de ella también?/ That's why I'm hanging out with Torrie Wilson, she gave me these gold earrings and she wants to marry Uncle Shawn, do you think he likes her too?" Aaliyah said and Britney gasped.

"You can't marry Shawn Michaels he's mine!" she snapped and Torrie looked at her angrily.

"Since when do washed up pop stars tell Torrie Wilson who and who she can't marry? I'd like to see you walk down the isle with your head looking like a shaved armpit!" Torrie said rudely and Britney laughed.

"Honey, if ten years in the music industry has taught me anything its that looks don't matter, its what's in your heart that counts, Shawn wants a mother not a lover and I think I've got the advantage when it comes to child bearing, don't you think its time you stop pretending to be me ten years ago and start being who you are now?" Britney said sarcastically.

"And what is that Britney?" Torrie said.

"You're desperate! Come on Torrie, if Shawn wanted to marry a 33 year-old blond he would have proposed to you before he left Texas, he's only interested in women who can look after his kids and hello? Parenthood isn't exactly one of your strengths is it Miss Playboy 2003-2004?"

Torrie's head sank, "Oh my God, you're absolutely right, as long as I don't have kids Shawn would never want me as his wife, Jesus what am I gonna do?" she said panicking as the elevator door opened and Vicky and Rey Mysterio grabbed her Louis Vuitton carry on which now had both Aaliyah and Sean Preston inside.

Vicky kissed Britney's son on the cheek and waved at his mom, then she abruptly slapped Torrie Wilson across the face.

"If you don't pull yourself together Stephanie McMahon's gonna let you go, this kind of behavior is unacceptable from a legendary WWE Diva such as yourself," she said firmly as Torrie held her now red cheek.

"Legendary? As in _old_?" Oh my God it's true I'm over - the hill that is!" Torrie cried and collapsed in the elevator next to the luggage carrier and the bellboy panicked trying to revive her before people started to panic as well.

"What's going on here?" Stephanie McMahon said seeing the people crowding in the lobby and was furious to see that Torrie Wilson was causing all the commotion just like Shawn Michaels had at the Portofino Bay hotel back in Orlando and this was not the day to be pissing Stephanie McMahon off.

"She's okay she's just a little stressed out," Britney explained stroking Torrie's hair compassionately as the bellboy revived her, "She's worried that she might be a bit too old to be a diva,"

"How old are you this year Torrie?" Stephanie asked as the blond bombshell slowly came around.

"Oh hi Stephanie, how's Aurora?" Torrie said as Britney and the bellboy helped her to her feet relieved that she was okay.

"Sweetie why don't you come up to our room?" Vicky Guerrero said and Torrie wondered why she was being so nice all of a sudden, "Come on Stephanie's got her own problems let's go," Vicky said waving her children into the elevator.

"And what problems are those Vicky?" Stephanie said angrily crossing her arms across her chest and raising her voice so that everyone knew she was in town like the hoards of WWE fans outside wasn't clue enough that the WWE was in Hollywood.

"Oh I don't know Stephanie how about the way you just wrote Aurora Rose out of her inheritance and dropped her at Louis Vuitton like a dime?" Vicky snapped angrily and Britney and Torrie gasped.

"You dropped your eight month old baby?" Britney cried disturbed by this news.

"It was an accident, LC bit me dammit!" Stephanie said in self-defense.

"LC bit you, why?" Torrie asked confused.

"Because . . . nevermind," Stephanie said turning her nose up.

"Because you were trashing her mother most likely," Vicky answered.

"Chyna is a piece of trash and so is that bastard daughter of hers, if it wasn't for them I'd be happily married right now instead of going through a divorce and losing my only daughter to those damn Helmsleys!" Stephanie said angrily her eyes swelling with tears, "I'll never EVER forgive Hunter for this, and by the way I do think you're a little too old to be a WWE Diva Torrie Wilson, YOU'RE FIRED!" she yelled at the Playboy cover girl and stormed off in a huff leaving everyone horrified, everyone except Torrie Wilson that is who was figuring out the fastest route to North Carolina to see her old buddy Ric Flair and his good ole friend, HBK.

"Torrie are you okay?" Vicky asked concerned, "I knew that bitch was gonna fire you she's got her father's temper,"

"And chin," Mysterio added.

"If I catch the 450 out of LAX I can be in Charlotte by 6," Torrie said to herself ignoring Vicky and Rey's concern for her well being.

"Wait you're going to Charlotte? Isn't that where Ric Flair lives?" Shaul Guerrero asked curiously.

"Isn't that the old guy DX is hanging out with?" Dominic asked his father who nodded ruffling his son's hair fondly.

"Don't the Hardyz live in North Carolina?" Kaylee Marie added.

"I wanna see Uncle Shawn, I wanna see Uncle Shawn!" Sean Preston said jumping up and down and everyone put two and two together and understood why Torrie Wilson was so happy.

"No way!" Vicky Guerrero said.

"Yes way you're looking at the next Mrs. Michaels!" Torrie replied grabbing her Louis Vuitton bag, putting on her huge sunglasses and strutting through the crowded lobby to hail a cab to the LAX airport.

"If you want him you better run faster than that bitch!" Britney said sprinting past Wilson into the cab she just hailed and burning it downtown towards the airport and Torrie threw a temper tantrum so big everyone stopped to watch it.

"Dammit-dammit-dammit, how am I gonna get there before she does?" she cried frustrated pulling out her hair.

Just then Konnan's low rider pulled up and Melina the Miraculous poked her head up and waved to the WWE fans with Nitro, Shelton, Krystal and the other members of LAX.

"Thanks for the ride Konnan," Nitro said lifting Melina out of the back while Krystal and Shelton jumped out onto the pavement.

"I sure hope none of the McMahons are around," Shelton said looking from left to right to see any shark eyed moguls or green eyed medusas around, "Vince would throw a fit if he saw his top Superstars rolling with TNA stars,"

"Hey Vince need a ride?" Homicide yelled at the mogul who was taking to some press on the other side of the street.

"Thanks Nelson!" Nitro said angrily, "You totally screwed us!"

"Nothing that you gringos haven't been doing to the Latino nation for years, take care of yourself Melina, o a le viva la razza!" Konnan yelled out and started up the hydraulics but the car wouldn't start, "Dammit Joe!" Konnan cursed the Samoan Submission Machine who had flattened one of the wheels with his body weight, "Get out and push!"

Joe sank even deeper into the back seat and Homicide and Hernandez sighed, got out of the low rider and changed the wheel while Joe finished his afternoon burrito.

"Torrie where are my earrings I lent those to you," Krystal said staring at the blond's earring-less ears.

"Aaliyah's got them, I can't talk now I got a date with destiny!" Torrie said hailing another cab.

"Somebody call my name?" Randy Orton said pulling up in his metallic black Hummer H2 and stepped out into a sea of screaming girls. Torrie was one of them and jumped into the passenger seat.

"I need to get to Charlotte can you drive me to LAX?" she asked him desperately.

"You can't go to Charlotte we've got a house show in San Diego in less than 3 hours," Melina said and Nitro cleared his throat.

"You mean I've got a house show, you're retiring remember?" Nitro said and Melina slapped her head totally forgetting their agreement.

"You're retiring like Trish and Lita? But you only just became the Women's Champion why would you retire now?" Torrie asked confused.

"Because I'm pregnant and Nitro and I agreed that one of us should stay home and I figured I should since I've got a lot less to lose and a hell of a lot more to gain, know what I mean?" Melina explained and Torrie looked down sadly at her flat stomach.

"I know exactly what you mean, so who you dropping the belt to Ashley?" Torrie asked her and Melina shrugged.

"I have no choice, believe me I'd rather drop it to you Torrie you've been around for so long you deserve it, I mean as far as WWE Divas go, you're a Legend!" Melina said sweetly and Torrie let out a primal scream right out of Melina's play book causing everyone to cover their ears, "Do I sound like that?" she asked Nitro who smiled and kissed her on the lips lovingly.

"I love it when you scream baby," he said and Melina giggled, "Torrie relax, just wait for us okay? We're going to spend the weekend with Flair and the Hardyz; we're all going down to Charlotte on Friday to help Shawn move in,"

Torrie did a double take, "Shawn Michaels? Shawn's moving in with Ric Flair?" she asked confused.

"No he's moving in with the Hardyz, I just spoke to Lita, he says he doesn't wanna impose on Joanie and Hunter now that they've got two children, so Naitch offered him a room at his place but Shawn said it stank of alcohol, so Jeff suggested he move in with him and his brother,"

"But the Hardyz don't live in Charlotte," Shelton said confused.

"I know they live in Cameron, Lita's old home town," Melina replied and everyone exchanged baffled glances.

"I can't believe Lita's gone back there after everything those hicks but her through over the last two years," Krystal said.

"Well Lita's come a long way since Team Xtreme, she's having a great time and I can't wait until we get down there to hang out with my sisters in Christ!" Melina said excitedly.

"You mean they've finally forgiven her for the whole love triangle thing between her, Edge and Matt Hardy?" Torrie Wilson asked amazed.

"Yeah, she's Anointed Amy now, if anybody hurts her feelings she has the Divine Right to kick their asses," Melina said and Torrie gushed.

"Wow the Divine Right to kick ass, I wish I had a gift from God that I could use to open a can of whoop ass on Britney Spears," she thought enviously, then noticed Sean Preston was standing on the sidewalk waiting for his mother to come back, "Who left her son on the sidewalk oh my God, come here baby," she called to Sean who ran over to LC instead and gave her a big kiss.

"You rock my world baby!" he said and LC punched him in the face.

"Your mother sucks ass," she replied shaking out her fist as Torrie comforted Sean.

"She does not!" Sean said as Torrie took the ice out of his soda and put it on his face as LC came over to Randy's metallic black Hummer with Aurora, Carla B. Cool and her adoptive family, Charlotte and Dan.

"Aurora likes my mom don't you?" Sean asked the baby in LC's arms who blew a raspberry at him.

"I thought she liked Mariah Carey?" Melina asked blowing a kiss at the little mamacita with the bright yellow rain hat, "It's not raining take that off sweetie," she said removing the apparel then she heard a thunder clap and quickly changed her mind.

"Don't touch it she likes it," LC said, "Nice Hummer Randy, is this what you use to pick up guys when Edge is with Lita?" LC asked TKO who smirked.

"Picking on kids, making gay jokes, like father like daughter huh LC?" he said, "I heard you put on quite a show on Rodeo, you might be the most talented member of your family,"

"What show what are you guys talking about?" Nitro said waving to the fans ignoring the death glares coming to them across the street from Vince, Shane, Linda and Stephanie McMahon.

"LC did a rendition of "The Game" with Chris Jericho and the rest of her family and it totally blew Mariah Carey's performance out of the water, she even got kids asking for her autograph there's no doubt you're gonna follow your father into this business, you might even become a Legend that my son get's to um, "kill" one day," Orton said cheekily and LC gave him the finger which Aurora imitated and Charlotte gasped.

"LC behave yourself!" she snapped angrily and LC shrugged.

"What it's a family tradition!" she argued.

"Like lying, cheating and stealing!" Carla added, "Which I'm sure those guys have done plenty of, what are LAX doing pushing that low rider down the street with that fat guy sitting in the back?" she asked and everyone turned to see what she was talking about and Nitro and Melina rolled their eyes.

"Joe ain't fat by accident let me tell you, that dude loves his burritos," Nitro said.

"Not as much as you love your pornos," Shelton Benjamin said annoyed and Krystal drew his attention to the two little girls listening, "I'm sorry but after all the madness we've been through with ATM Nitro, you had to go and unleash other demon and not just any demon, the Whore of Babylon,"

"The Whore of Babylon?" LC and Carla said at the same time.

"Where-where?" Randy said looking around for a Babylonian prostitute, "Do you know her hourly rate?"

"This isn't a joke Randy, Nitro read Ashley's Playboy edition and when a married man reads pornpgraphy he curses his marriage vows and unleashes a demonic spirit that is very seductive, very beautiful and intent on destroying the sacred institution of holy matrimony,"

"Is there anyway to stop it?" Charlotte asked concerned, "I don't want anyone else coming onto my husband except me,"

"Just keep him away from Maria," Shelton said.

"What's wrong with Maria?" Torrie asked concerned.

"Where is she anyway?" Krystal asked looking around from the Chi Town beauty.

"There she is!" Dan said.

"Don't look at her!" Shelton said covering Dan's eyes.

"Why can't I look at her?" Dan said pulling Shelton's hands away from his eyes so he could look at Maria.

"Oh my God what's happening to all those men?" Melina said as one by one man after man turned to stone.

"Quick Mel go heal them!" Nitro said encouraging his wife as people started to scream.

"But there's thousands of them I can't do it alone!" Melina said looking at all the men Maria had turned to stone, then she didn't hear anything and turned to see what happened to her husband, "ARGHHHHHH!" she screamed as Nitro turned to stone just like all the other married men in downtown L.A. The women covered their ears but they didn't for long as Melina's primal scream broke the stone and freed the men within.

Torrie ran towards Maria and grabbed her, wrestling her to the ground which quickly turned into a bra and panties match.

"Break it up!" Vince McMahon said as people started to take pictures of the WWE Divas fighting in their underwear and Melina shook her head in concern; this was no time to be leaving the WWE, the Women's Division needed her now more than ever now that the Whore of Babylon was on the loose.

"I can't have this baby," she said to herself and spoke to Jesus, "What am I going to do Lord, what am I going to do?"

A camera flashed in her face and when she recovered from the blinding light she saw Randy Orton drying a Polaroid and brushing his hand over it; she knew what he was doing, "Show it to me," she said and Randy turned the picture around to show Melina what was going to happen to her in the future.

"Be careful what you wish for you just might get it," The King's Oracle said as Melina shook her head in disbelief.

"I can't believe it Shelton was right," she said tears welling up in her eyes, she jumped into the passenger seat of Randy's Hummer, "Drive, anywhere I don't care just drive," she said crying and Randy looked at Nitro who was wondering what the Hell was going on and shook his head pitifully.

"I'm sorry bro, but you brought this on yourself," he said and drove Melina down to Santa Monica away from the man that was gonna break her heart.

Nitro grabbed Shelton and shook him violently, "How do we put this Whore of Babylon back where she belongs?" he asked desperate not to lose his wife and Shelton smiled confidently.

"The answer to your question is simple: don't cheat on your wife," Shelton said and Nitro frowned.

"I'm not gonna cheat on my wife Shelton you gotta believe me, I love her with all my heart I swear!" Nitro assured him.

"You sure about that?" Krystal asked him stroking his hair and Nitro felt horny just looking at her, he quickly snapped himself out of it and realized what was going on: he was being tested, this Whore of Babylon was making him attracted to every beautiful woman Melina knew including Krystal and Maria.

"He's gonna need our help," Shelton told his girlfriend who nodded noticing all the beautiful women around them smiling at Nitro and Nitro smiling at them all in return.

"This is not going to be easy," she said shaking her head and LC pulled on her skirt and gave her some advice, "Cut his balls off?" Krystal replied horrified.

"Castration was used often to stop men from cheating on their wives back in Christ's day, it's the only way to be sure," LC explained, "I've got some relics from the Roman Empire back at my house if Melina decides to try something other than crying,"

Charlotte shook her head in amazement, any doubt that Lisa Cornelius Helmsley was her real sister was now completely erased from her mind.


	6. Miss California

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece?

Chapter Six - Miss California

Santa Monica Beach, 4pm:

Randy looked down at the trembling hands on his leg as he drove through Santa Monica Pier and wondered if he was about to make the biggest mistake of his life. The picture he had shown Melina was of Nitro kissing another woman but she was not showing her face so her identity was hidden, the one thing that was clear was that this woman was not Melina and Nitro was going to have an affair. Melina squeezed the tears back as hard as she could but she had better luck squeezing Randy's leg for comfort.

"Do you want to go back and talk to him?" RKO asked her compassionately.

"Just keep driving," Melina replied, "I don't wanna think I just want to go home,"

"But we've got a house show in two hours, Vince is gonna kick my ass if I don't show up," Randy said.

"Then drive faster," Melina replied and Randy turned around and headed down highway 15 to Fashion Valley Home, the huge San Diego mall was the only place he thought Melina could feel better about herself.

"There's no way we're gonna make it in time even if there's no delays we're talking about a three hour flight here," Randy thought.

"So let's just stay here in Santa Monica," Melina said and Randy turned his Hummer back around again pissing off some angry rush hour tyrants along the way.

"Will you make up your mind Mel? Do you wanna stay here and sulk or come to San Diego and have your last match as the reigning Women's Champion?" Randy asked her and Melina turned away from him and curled up into a ball in the passenger seat.

"Just drive," she said and Randy sighed in frustration; if they caught a flight out of LAX they were gonna be late, if they stayed in Santa Monica everyone was gonna be looking for them, either way they were screwed.

Randy parked on the pier and got out of the car, Melina sighed a deep breath and got out a moment later, she shut the door she flew into a rage; she started beating on the shiny black metal looking like Britney when she went nuts on K-Fed's 4x4 a month ago. This wasn't as funny though because Melina was very well known in Santa Monica, she was Miss. California in 2000 and had been the uncrowned Latina princess there ever since, she wouldn't have to retire if Vince saw her acting like this in public, he would fire her on the spot so Randy did the only thing he knew would get her mind off of Johnny Nitro and pointed at a girl on the pier wearing the same boots Melina was.

"Look Mel aren't those the fluffy white boots you bought from Milan?" he said and Mel turned to see the culprit and scowled, her old diva feelings resurfacing at the sight of the attractive girl in the fluffy white boots.

"What's the matter can't find a pair of your own?" Mel snapped angrily marching towards the innocent chica raising her hand ready to lay the smaketh down on her, but she couldn't hit her, that just wasn't who she was anymore, she was Melina the Miraculous and here she was behaving like Melina the Monster. She lowered her hand and apologized to the young lady.

"I never really liked them anyway," she said as the girl lowered her hands realizing that Melina wasn't going to hit her, "Nitro picked them out for me,"

"Are you guys still together? I thought he would have cheated on you by now," the girl replied and Melina almost lost it until Randy picked her up and carried her away from the laughing crowd thinking Melina wasn't a bad person, she was just very good at pretending not to be.

"Melina you have to calm down you're going to lose your healing powers, let me buy you something how about an ice cream sundae?" Randy suggested as Melina pulled herself together.

"How about a new pair of boots?" she replied taking off the ones she was wearing and throwing them into the water looking at her wedding ring and thinking about throwing it in the water too.

"Isn't that the kind of thing your husband would . . . nevermind, let's go to the mall," Randy said knowing that all things Nitro were off limits tonight, Melina cuddled up to him and he wrapped his arms around her and the Miraculous one walked with The King's Oracle down to Santa Monica Boulevard and caught the bus to Malibu together much to the public's ever-present interest.

Wyndham Emerald Plaza Hotel, near the San Diego Convention Center, San Diego, CA:

Stephanie McMahon paced back and forth while everyone else left for the convention center, she wanted to make sure Maria was able to stay on RAW after what happened in Hollywood a few hours ago; it was impossible to believe that anyone that beautiful could get so ugly so fast but right now upstairs in her hotel room, Maria Kanellis was at her ugliest and no-one could figure out what had happened to her.

Torrie managed to calm her down and get her to stop attacking everyone but it wasn't easy, Maria was totally out of control.

"Do you think it's the pregnancy?" Linda McMahon asked her daughter who was trying to stay calm.

"I've heard of hysterical pregnancy but this is ridiculous," Stephanie said as Torrie struggled to get Maria ready but it was no use; Maria kept tearing her hair out and clawing at Torrie's face and there was no time to waste, the house show was starting very soon.

"Where's Mickie James?" Torrie asked Stephanie suddenly.

"She downstairs signing autographs with Victoria and Candice Michelle why?" Stephanie asked wondering how Mickie could help fix this increasingly worrying situation.

"Get her up here now!" Torrie said and Stephanie gasped at the authoritative tone in Wilson's voice.

"The day I take orders from you is the day I go shopping for baby clothes with Chyna," she replied and Torrie rolled her eyes and dragged Maria over her shoulder and ran out of the hotel room down the stairs to the lobby heading straight for the WWE Divas table where Mickie James sat with Candice and Victoria.

"What the Hell?" Victoria said as Torrie Wilson knocked the signing table over and planted Maria in front of Mickie James.

"Hey you I want you to get this on camera!" Torrie shouted to David the new WWE camera guy from Georgia who was already recording all the divas with much enthusiasm. Suddenly Torrie Wilson kissed Maria and Mickie James flew into a jealous rage and started attacking Torrie Wilson.

"How could you cheat on me with Maria, I'm twice the woman she is!" Mickie shrieked slapping Torrie repeatedly and Maria suddenly came to her senses licking her lips and tasting a sweetness she really liked feeling like herself again.

"I totally get lesbians now!" Maria said in ultra bimbo mode and skipped over to Stephanie McMahon and kissed her on the lips, Stephanie's eyes opened in shock she was about to give Maria a McMahon bitch slap then the sweetness from the young diva's lips caught her attention and she smiled at her appreciatively.

"What is that sweet taste its gorgeous where did you get it from?" she asked her and Maria shrugged, "I feel great I feel like kissing everybody!"

"Now you know how I feel!" Maria said and started kissing all the WWE Superstars including her ex-boyfriend John Cena.

"That's cool but I'm still not gonna marry you," Cena said and Maria shrugged.

"Who needs you!" she replied and waved and blew kisses at all the fans and they did the same loving her even more, "Where's Melina I gotta give that girl a big kiss!" she asked Krystal after planting a big wet one on Marshall's cheek.

"She's about ten minutes from Malibu," Shelton told her closing his cell phone as she kissed him and Stephanie McMahon rolled her eyes.

"Tell me our Women's Champion is in San Diego and not Malibu," she asked Shelton grabbing her hair in distress turning her sweet aroma into a bitter afterthought.

"I would but that would be a lie: like if I told you I prefer your hair blond," Shelton replied and Stephanie scowled.

"Just for that you don't get a WWE title shot; that privilege goes to Jeff Hardy where is that crazy daredevil and his stupid brother?" Stephanie snapped.

"He's not here either," Krystal replied smugly loving how badly things were going for Stephanie since she wrote Aurora out of the McMahon family inheritance.

"Where is everybody?" Vince McMahon said noticing that the Hardyz, Ric Flair, Randy Orton and Edge were all missing.

"I'm still here," Nitro said taking off his Gucci shades and coming forward, "Why not put me in the WWE title match with Shelton, we could tear the house down!"

"Yeah!" Maria and Krystal cheered.

"No!" Shelton snapped and Nitro looked at him confused.

"Don't tell me you don't wanna work with me because I saw Ashley naked?" Nitro said exasperated by Shelton's piety.

"Who hasn't seen Massaro naked?" Shad Gaspard said coming over with JTG who was looking at Ashley's edition of Playboy right now.

"You guys don't get it, it doesn't matter if you see Ashley naked because you're not married, but Nitro is married and therefore is banned from looking at any other woman apart from Melina and if he does the Whore of Babylon will get him!" Shelton explained.

"Too bad Nitro, where's is Ashley I need her to sign my copy?" JTG said looking around for Massaro while Shad signed some autographs for the fans.

"Look Shelton I don't know what part of the Bible you've been reading but there is no such thing as the Whore of Babylon, now if you'll quit being such a jerk how about we take out John Cena tonight and see who deserves to be WWE Champion?" Nitro said eager to get the WWE title around his waist.

"Um excuse me but we make the decisions around here and I wanted Randy Orton to face John Cena tonight, since Orton can't seem to get here on time like the rest of you I'm putting all WWE title shots on hold until the next episode of Monday Night RAW," Vince McMahon said and Nitro stamped his foot angrily wondering why Orton hadn't brung Melina back yet.

"Where is he?" he complained pulling out his cell phone to check for any missed calls but there weren't any and he started to worry if Randy's old feelings for Melina were starting to resurface as Melina's paranoia increased over this crazy Whore of Babylon story Shelton kept telling everyone.

"Trish have you heard from Melina?" Nitro asked Stratus deciding to call the woman who would tell him what was going on with his wife.

"I'm not going to answer that Nitro go find her!" Trish snapped angrily from Ric Flair's house.

"But the show is starting in a minute I can't leave San Diego now!" Nitro protested.

"You sniveling coward," Trish roared vehemently, "If you loved her at all you never would have looked at Ashley Massaro's Playboy photos! How's Melina supposed to whoop that trick's ass if she knows you like her?"

"Trish looking at a few naked pictures isn't cheating I don't care what it says in Matthew 5:28," Nitro said defiantly.

"Well I guess that's the difference between you and TKO; unlike you Randy does care what it says in the Bible and if you don't watch it you're going to lose Melina to him just like you nearly did on New Year's Day!" Trish warned Nitro who laughed.

"Trish don't be stupid Randy Orton ain't got nothing on me in the ring or in the bedroom, give Melina a little bit of credit, my wife has exquisite taste," Nitro laughed arrogantly and Trish hung up leaving Nitro feeling a little worried, "Trish?" he called and suddenly he felt really alone and it didn't help that everyone was leaving for the San Diego convention center and his wife was still nowhere to be seen.

Suddenly Vince McMahon was pulling him to one side and he saw two of the darkest orbs ever up close and it was not very nice to look into them and see absolutely nothing.

"I want you to tell me where Edge, the Hardyz and Ric Flair are," the Chairman asked Nitro who gulped knowing that the words "They're with DX," were not what he wanted to hear, "Tell me or you're fired," Vince warned him.

"They're with DX," Nitro replied and Vince smiled patting Nitro on the back gratefully.

"Well done kid, you got your title shot against John Cena tonight, good luck," Vince told him and Nitro felt sick, not only had he lost his pregnant wife's trust he sold his friends out to Vincent Kennedy McMahon.

"Maria come here I need a kiss," he said to Maria seductively and the Grecian diva smiled and gave him the finger before leaving with Mickie, Candice and Torrie Wilson who couldn't leave quick enough; she was about to say goodbye to the fans she had known for so long to begin her new life as a wife and mother to the legendary Heartbreak Kid, what Torrie didn't know was that Shawn was called that for a reason, breaking hearts was his major at the University of Love.

Meanwhile back in Santa Monica . . .

Making their way downtown to LAX TKO and Melina the Miraculous were about to catch a flight to San Diego when they saw Sting waving at them from the entrance.

"What are you doing here shouldn't you be in Florida with the rest of the TNA roster?" Melina asked him as Randy shouldered her many, many, many shopping bags.

"Why fly when you can sail?" Sting answered, "I came back to check on that little girl with the supernatural powers,"

"You mean Hunter's baby girl Aurora Rose?" Melina asked confused, "Why?"

"Because as LAX, Joe and I were going back to Florida there was a flash flood and I had to get out the old Stinger so we didn't drown like the heathens in Genesis and we got to Bakersfield and there's this gorgeous Predator 55 carrying these girls that bear a striking resemblance to The Game," Sting explained and noticed the many, many, many bags Randy was struggling with, "What me to give you a hand with those Orton?"

"Nah I got it, we really should be going we're late for a house show in San Diego," Orton said politely moving towards the airport entrance with Mrs. Hennigan.

"Why don't you come with me? My Stinger's just around the way, I'll get you there in an hour and a half tops," Sting offered and Melina and Orton smiled relieved.

"That means we won't miss the main event!" Melina said delighted, "Sting how can we ever repay you?"

"Just promise me the next time Hurricane Aurora's in town you'll let me know so I can warn the guys back in Florida in advance," Sting replied and Melina nodded.

"You have my word," she said and Sting looked around realizing Nitro wasn't with her.

"You guys wanna tell me what's going on here or should I pretend you're just friends?" Sting said and Melina stuck her tongue out at him.

"Mind your business old man," Melina replied.

"Okay let's go," Sting said wondering why Randy Orton was with Melina and not in San Diego with the rest of the WWE roster while her husband Johnny "Nitro" Hennigan carried her many, many, many shopping bags for her.

An hour and a half later . . .

Melina and Randy approached the Wyndham Plaza Hotel where Sting offered to take Melina bags and give them to the hotel concierge while they ran to the convention center which was a hop and a skip away from the hotel.

Inside they found the closest stagehand and asked them who was on, the stagehand told them Maria was facing Torrie Wilson in her last match right now and Nitro was facing John Cena for the WWE title at the end of the night.

"No way am I not getting a shot at the WWE title tonight, where's Vince?" Orton snapped marching around looking for the boss and saw him taking to the Champ by the catering stand, "Hey Vince!" he called and the boss turned to see RKO looking at him disdainfully.

"Well look who finally decided to turn up, care to explain where you've been for the past 3 hours son?" Vince asked Orton while Cena avoided Melina's dark glare and pretended not to see her.

"I've been with Melina, she's not feeling too good and I didn't want her to go home alone so we hung out in Santa Monica then we did a little shopping in Malibu, now that I'm here I'd like some of John Cena tonight," Randy said confidently and Vince admired his passion, it was something he wanted to see in all his main eventers especially the younger guys like Orton, Nitro and the always MIA Carlito Caribbean Cool who'd rather spend time with the now retired Trish Stratus than with him, he couldn't understand why that was he was such a nice man to work for.

"You got it," Vince said.

"What?" Cena said incredulously, "You mean I gotta face him and Nitro in a Triple Threat match?"

"Yeah good luck," Melina said turning her attention to Vince as Orton went to get ready and Cena stormed away angrily with the WWE Championship in his hand possibly for the last time, "Mr. McMahon I'm so sorry but Nitro and I have been having problems and I had to be apart from him while I decided what I was gonna do about the baby I'm carrying,"

"Melina, you're pregnant?" Vince McMahon said incredulously and Melina wasn't sure if he was angry or happy it was hard to tell what the boss was thinking.

"Yes sir I am," Melina said proudly.

"So what about the Women's Championship, are you okay to drop the title at Wrestlemania 23 to Ashley Massaro?" Vince asked the new mom.

"No I'm not happy to drop the title to Ashley Massaro I'd rather drop it to Torrie Wilson; out of all the Playboy Covergirls she deserves it the most," Melina replied.

"Oh I can't do that I'm afraid, Stephanie fired her for misconduct unbecoming a WWE Superstar earlier today back when we were in Hollywood," Vince explained and Melina scowled.

"Are you gonna let Stephanie destroy everyone's life because she's going through a divorce? If Torrie Wilson's going out she deserves to go out like Trish and Lita did - in a Women's Championship match," Melina said and Vince listened intrigued.

"So what are you proposing?" Vince asked the former Miss. California.

"Make the Women's match at Wrestlemania the Ultimate Playboy Covergirl match, it will be Torrie Wilson vs. Ashley Massaro for the Women's Title, I'll retire tonight and I'll say goodbye to the fans instead of Torrie," Melina suggested.

"But that means I'll have to go against my precious baby girl's wishes I can't do that?" Vince said.

"I'll be the Special Guest Referee for the match," Melina offered.

"I don't know if Stephanie will go for it," Vince fretted.

"I'll wear a tight referee's shirt, short skirt and do my sexy ring entrance how's that?" Melina offered reluctantly.

"Deal, now go Torrie's about to get pinned!" Vince said and Melina ran through the curtain to the ring to Lillian Garcia and asked her fellow Latina for a microphone.

"I've heard of arriving fashionably late but this is ridiculous," Lillian joked and Melina rolled her eyes.

"I'm gonna miss you chica," she said and Lillian frowned wondering what on Earth Melina was talking about as the Women's Champion told the ref to stop the match and got into the ring under the bottom rope, one leg at a time.

"I have an announcement to make!" she told the fans who booed her loudly for interrupting the match, "I'm leaving the WWE," she said and the fans cheered and she tried not to laugh at how much they really hated her diva-like behavior, "The Women's title will still be defended at Wrestlemania 23 and the match to decide who will fight for the Women's title will be right now - ring the bell!" she told the time keeper who looked at her strangely until Vince slapped him upside the head and told him to ring the bell which he did and Torrie planted Maria with a Nose Job and covered the Chi Town babe for the 1-2-3 and won her spot for the Women's title at Wrestlemania 23.

"You're going to Wrestlemania 23 to fight Ashley Massaro for the Women's Championship aren't you excited?" Melina asked her as she got out of the ring and made her way to the back as the fans cheered loudly for her.

"Melina how can I ever thank you, but I really wanted to go to North Carolina and see Shawn Michaels," Torrie said wiping the sweat from her forehead and taking a towel from the stage hand on the way to the back who told her congratulations on winning her match, she had never heard him say that before.

"Why you wanna see Shawn so bad he's not into you," Melina told her and Torrie smiled confidently.

"Oh he will be," she said with a wink and Melina shook her head as Torrie counted down the hours until she was in Charlotte with the Sexy Boy himself, "Just 48 hours to go," she thought blissfully smiling to herself the stagehand smiled back thinking he was the one she was thinking about and gave her a small wave before Vince slapped him around the head and told him to get back to work.

"Melina are you and Nitro all made up now?" Maria said running over to the Miraculous one in her usually bouncy way and Melina was relieved she was feeling better now, she had taken quite a liking to the spirited young lady from the Midwest.

"Not quite but I think he'll be happy to know I'm still having his baby, all I have to do is find that Whore of Babylon before she gets to him again," Melina said and Maria thought about what to do to stop this demon from attacking another innocent woman and seducing Nitro and every other married man in Southern California.

"The Whore of Babylon got to me and Krystal, do you think she'll go after your other friends?" Maria asked.

"You mean Trish and Lita? Sure, if she wants to burn in Hell for all eternity! If she goes anywhere near them they'll kill her on sight," Melina said and Maria nodded chewing on her bottom lip, "You're gonna make your lip bleed if you keep that up," Melina warned her.

"I can't get enough of the sugary goodness Torrie Wilson gave me when we kissed, her kisses are Divine!" Maria said dreamily and Melina frowned.

"You kissed Torrie Wilson?" she asked concerned.

"It was like kissing Heaven," Maria said in a daze fantasizing about it and Melina gasped.

"That's it! I know how to destroy the Whore of Babylon!" she cried.

"How?" Maria asked curiously as Melina ran to the Women's locker room scaring Torrie Wilson half to death.

"What is it?" Torrie asked as Melina ran over to her before she stepped into the shower.

"Shawn Michaels kissed you at his wife's funeral to stop you from seeing Mickie James and now you have the Kiss of Life,"

"The Kiss of Life, what's that?" Maria asked scratching her head confused.

"It's one of the gifts Shawn got from God when he became St. Michaels, it turns hate to love, sadness to joy and gay to straight, when you kissed Maria Torrie you passed Shawn's kiss onto her and the Whore of Babylon disappeared, I need you to kiss me so I can pass the Kiss of Life onto Nitro and keep the Whore of Babylon away from him!" Melina explained excitedly.

"Okay you be Shawn and I'll pretend our lips are still touching," Torrie said fantasizing about that magic moment from yesterday in San Antonio and Melina grabbed Torrie and kissed her passionately as Maria looked on wondering what was going on; girls kissing girls, divas having babies and raising children alone, she wondered if Shawn's Kiss of Life was strong enough to stop women from giving up on men altogether, for her, Torrie, Melina and Nitro's sake she sure hoped so.


	7. The Heartbreak Kid Hotel

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece?

A/N: Sorry for the delay guys I've been going through some deep stuff, I hope you enjoy this chapter the next one will follow shortly. This chapter contains material that some may find offensive.

Chapter Seven - The Heartbreak Kid Hotel

Shelton and Krystal's room, Wyndham Emerald Plaza Hotel:

After the show everybody went back to the Wyndham Plaza for some much needed R&R before going home for a long weekend break; everyone was buzzing about WM23 especially now that Torrie Wilson was staying and Melina was retiring to have a baby with Johnny Nitro, the other half of MNM failed to become WWE Champion in San Diego but he convinced Stephanie McMahon to let him compete for the WWE Title at WM23 instead of Randy Orton and according to Maria this is how he did it.

"Nitro was really pissed that he lost to Randy Orton and they started to argue in the men's locker room. Vince pulled them apart and fined Nitro $1,000 for assault, he blackened Orton's eye and everything,"

"Oh my God," Krystal said in shock while Shelton shook his head in disgust.

"So after everyone calmed down Randy bumped into Melina on the way to the men's locker room to kiss and make up with Nitro only when she saw the black eye she healed Randy and Nitro saw her doing it and got mad. She tried to explain that he was a good person and that he deserved to be WWE Champion but Nitro said she still had feelings for him even after they got married and Melina blew up and Randy told Nitro to treat Melina with a little more respect and that's when Ashley came out," Maria took a deep breath before finishing, Krystal and Shelton got the impression that this story wasn't going to have a happy ending, "Ashley started running her mouth about how Melina was a slut and Melina just walked away, then just when I thought Nitro was gonna put Ashley in her place he kissed her instead,"

"WHAT?" Krystal and Shelton said at the same-time jumping up in shock.

"I knew it!" Shelton said angrily pacing back and forth in Maria's hotel room and he wasn't the only one pacing back and forth, next door Torrie Wilson was pacing back and forth too.

"I can't believe she kissed him, that horrible slut kissed Melina's husband!" she cursed while Mickie James combed out her hair trying to wash the smell of betrayal out of it but it was hard to concentrate when Torrie was around; she was so beautiful it was distracting, "What am I gonna do I'm facing her at WM23, I'm telling you MJ that woman's a whore and you have to stay away from her, she's no Trish Stratus!"

"No-one's Trish Stratus she's in a league of her own," Mickie said getting to her feet and sashaying over to Wilson seductively. "Just like you Torrie,"

Wilson rolled her eyes, "Not this shit again MJ," she sighed, "I'm not gay okay when are you gonna understand that?"

"After you kiss me," Mickie replied wrapping her arms around Torrie who pulled away from her agitated, she knew what Mickie wanted and she couldn't have it and it was killing her to lose another blond to a stud with a sexy accent and HBK would flip if he knew she was wasting his Kiss of Life on Mickie James again but Mickie couldn't get it through her pretty head that being gay was a sin no matter how many times Torrie kissed her so she decided to stop with the kisses and just talk to her but it wasn't going very well and now that Massaro was being channeled by the Whore of Babylon, Torrie was in danger of being channeled just like Maria and Krystal, she had to get out of there now but Mickie was a tough wrestler and she wouldn't let her get away that easily so she did what Melina would in this situation: she screamed and so did Krystal in Shelton's room.

"Calm down girl!" Shelton said to his girlfriend after Maria told them how Nitro cheated Orton out of his WWE Championship match at WM23.

"Don't tell me to calm down baby this is wrong!" Krystal snapped angrily, "Nitro told Stephanie Randy was responsible for DX reuniting is a bare face lie and you gotta set that boy straight!"

"I don't even know where he is!" Shelton argued and turned to Maria, "Where's Melina now?"

"She's with Randy they're going to Charlotte with Sting, LC and her family," Maria replied.

"Get yourself together you're coming with us," Shelton said and Krystal nodded, "I bet you Nitro and Melina are causing quite a scene in LAX right now we better hurry before they all get fired,"

"Okay but can I do one thing first?" Maria said cheerfully and Shelton and Krystal looked at her like she was crazy.

"What?" they both said confused and her jubilation at a time like this.

"Give you both a big kiss?" she said and Shelton and Krystal laughed and kissed her instead.

"Let's go momma smalls," Shelton said picking up Maria's bags and giving them to Krystal to carry who snapped her neck defiantly until she remembered Maria was pregnant and then smiled and started thinking of baby names as they walked over to Torrie's room where Victoria and Jillian Hall were outside wrestling Mickie James to the ground.

"Ready to go?" Krystal said to the blond bombshell from Boise, Idaho who gave her the Evolution thumbs up, then Ashley walked up to them all and the Evolution thumbs up turned into the Evolution thumbs down.

"You're a dead woman!" Torrie shrieked and took the Diva Search winner down hard and started choking her out with the string of pearls around her neck, "Somebody pray!" Wilson cried and Shelton, Maria and Krystal started to call down Heaven while Victoria, Candice and MJ wondered what on Earth was happening to Ashley; her face was twisting into a gargoyle shape and the veins in her neck were pulsating rapidly like she was about to go into a spasm. It was the Whore and Babylon trying to escape and infect the married men in the Wyndham Hotel and Torrie had to give Ashley the Kiss of Life or she was going to escape.

"Torrie what are you doing?" Mickie James said trying to pull Wilson off Ashley, "You're going to kill her!"

"I'm saving her life!" Torrie replied wrapping the beads around Ashley's neck tighter until she stopped moving completely and everyone gasped in horror as Ashley stopped breathing, "Okay now to bring you back to life," Torrie said taking the string of pearls from around Ashley's neck and kissing her gently on the lips. Ashley eventually responded and started to kiss her back pulling Wilson closer hungry for the Kiss of Life, at the same-time Shawn Michaels was kissing as well and like Ashley the person he was kissing was into punk rock and hair dye.

"How about now?" Shawn asked Jeff Hardy who confessed that he was feeling gay to HBK just before the Heartbreak Kid kissed him.

Jeff touched where Shawn had kissed him and savored the sweetness that was now burning across his lips, "No I'm still feeling gay," he confessed and Shawn punched the cushion in-between them, threw it over his shoulder and hit Lita on the head complaining that turning gay people straight was a lot harder than he thought it would be, "Okay come here, let's try again," he sighed and Jeff and Shawn kissed while Hunter, Chyna, Trish and Carlito looked on, El Con Dios had never seen two men kiss like this and was intrigued.

"Why isn't it working?" he asked Trish who passed her popcorn over to Carlito as they all watched the purification of Jeff Hardy by Shawn Michaels.

"Because he likes it," Trish replied, "Leave him alone you've done your work St. Michaels, it'll all be okay soon,"

The Anointed one rose to her feet and walking over to her eternal soul-mate, "Don't crucify him, he's just doing his job," she told Hunter who nodded and Lita embraced Shawn who yawned over her shoulder while Jeff leaned on his brother's, "It's okay Shawn Jeff's in good hands now," Lita told Shawn and Matt told Jeff the samething while Hunter thought Undertaker was indeed a dead man walking because as soon as he had the chance he was gonna kill him for what he did to one of the brightest stars in the WWE.

LAX airport, midnight:

Edge, Judy Copeland and Bret Hart walked through LAX airport waiting for Randy Orton, Melina and Nitro to turn up so they could get on the 1553 to Houston with Undertaker who was going home with King and Queen Bookah who lived in Houston too.

"Hey Edge isn't that you on the cover of Playgirl?" Bret said pointing to the gay magazine on the shelf next to FHM and Sports Illustrated.

Edge smiled on seeing his face looking back at him and took it up, "I don't remember posing for them how did they get my picture?" he wondered flicking through as his mother checked it out with him and Bret.

"You're so handsome they probably paid Vince a fortune for one of your stills," Judy beamed proudly awaiting the day when her son would finally be happily married and the wedding was only a week away and she was getting excited just thinking about seeing Lita again, seeing Matt and Jeff wasn't going to be as pleasant. Her excitement lasted for awhile and then she saw the centerfold of the magazine and screamed like Melina the Miraculous.

"Oh my God!" Bret Hart said as the magazine fell from Edge's trembling fingers to the floor in the middle of the confectionary where everybody could see it. The cashier came over to see what all the fuss was about.

"I don't believe it, you really are gay!" he said in shock. Paparazzi Productions had taken a picture of Edge and Shawn and made it look as gay as possible, "I thought Jeff Jarrett was just blowing smoke up our asses but there it is you and HBK going at it in Playgirl magazine, I hope you rot in Hell you f***ing homo," he said spitefully and Bret put him in the Sharpshooter while Edge took every copy of Playgirl and ran out of the store after his mother who had spotted Melina by the gate leaving for Charlotte momentarily by herself and stuffed them into his carry on before security nabbed him.

"Hiding the evidence?" Undertaker said and Edge snarled and went to find Randy Orton while fans took pictures of Bret Hart making the hateful cashier tap out.

"Hey Judy," Melina said sadly twisting the rock around her finger anxiously and Mrs. Copeland squeezed her shoulders trying to get her to smile but it was no use she was very upset.

"Wanna talk about it angel pie?" Judy asked warmly.

"I saw Johnny kissing another woman," Melina answered and Judy shrugged.

"At least he's not being accused of being gay with Shawn Michaels," she replied and Melina looked over at her like she was crazy.

"What's wrong with Shawn Michaels?" she said confused, "I'd put him on a mattress if I had the chance but with this around my finger that's hardly unlikely,"

Judy gasped, "You can't say that you're married!"

"Yeah so what? I can't perform miracles anymore why should I care about my marriage vows anymore?" Melina responded bitterly.

"Why can't you perform miracles anymore?" Judy asked confused.

"Because my heart's broken and until its mended I'm about as much use to God as Adolf Hitler," Melina replied sadly.

"Did Nitro cheat on you honey?" Judy asked Melina gently stroking her back.

"No but he looked at Ashley's Playboy pictures and released the Whore of Babylon," Melina replied.

"Stephanie McMahon?" Judy asked confused wondering who the Whore of Babylon was and Melina rolled her eyes.

"When a married man watches or reads pornography he becomes cursed and the Whore of Babylon destroys the sanctity of marriage with her evil heart and lustful desires," Melina explained.

"Oh you mean Lita?" Judy asked and Melina stamped her feet and got upset.

"Don't you talk about my sister in Christ like that, right now Trish and Lita are the only friends I've got and I'll be damned if I sit here and let you disrespect Anointed Amy!" Melina barked and Mrs. Copeland calmed her down with a smile.

"I know Amy Dumas much better than you do my dear, I've seen that woman go through more men than a proctologist would Vince McMahon's butt. Okay I'm exaggerating but if anyone knows how to stop the Whore of Babylon its Amy Dumas, if you truly care for your sister in Christ you'll forgive your husband because there's a whore of Babylon in all women, some of us prefer it that way, she keeps men on their toes, you don't think Amy would have married my Adam if she hadn't slept with him first?" Judy said and Melina listened intently.

"So you're saying God likes the Whore of Babylon?" Melina asked confused and Judy nodded.

"Well she' probably a bad example but Mary Magdalene was no Mary mother of Jesus but they're both in Heaven aren't they?" Adam's mom explained and Melina nodded, "There's more to love than saying "I do" sweetie, remember that,"

"I guess I better repent and get my healing powers back, Nitro come here baby I forgive you!" Melina yelled to her husband who was arguing with Shelton Benjamin outside the men's bathroom.

"That's one awesome woman of God," Krystal said beaming as Nitro and Melina embraced and locked themselves into a big kiss right in the middle of airport while spectators cheered them on. Maria jumped up and down excitedly while Randy looked at the picture he just took of them kissing: it was exactly the same as what he was seeing now with his natural eyes.

"For all things work together for the good of those that love God and are called according to His Purpose," he said reciting Romans 8:28, "God bless those Hennigans, now onto those damned Helmsleys," he said to Undertaker who nodded as Bret Hart, Edge, his mom, Melina, Nitro, Randy, Shelton, Krystal and Maria all boarded the flight for Charlotte via Houston with Torrie Wilson and Mr. and Mrs. Bookah.


	8. To Live and Die in LAX

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece?

Chapter Eight - To Live and Die in LAX

Meanwhile still in LAX airport Sting and LAX were arguing over how to get back to Florida with LC and Carla B. Cool.

"We're not taking the Stinger its 1 o'clock in the morning we might bump into a buoy or something," Sting argued.

"But I'm scared of flying please don't make me go up there!" Konnan pleaded and Homicide and Hernandez gave him a disproving look and he toughened up, "I mean let's go Holmes this wheelchair ain't gonna move itself!" he said to Samoa Joe who was falling asleep waiting for his buddies to decide how they were traveling, LC couldn't stand him and kept on punching him in the stomach but he didn't seem to mind.

"You're so cute, wanna learn to wrestle I could teach you?" he asked the Lil Assassin who gave him the finger in response.

"My father is the best wrestler in the world why would I want to learn how to eat burritos and fart all day? I mastered that art a long time ago tubby now move your fat ass!" LC demanded pushing Joe of his seat or at least trying to, "Carla little help?" she said to her sister who was on the phone with Chris Jericho, her father.

"You're not coming why not?" she asked him, "You're staying in LA with Stephanie McMahon? But Lisa and I need to talk to you about . . . you know," she said quieting her voice so no one could hear her, "About whether or not you're my real father,"

Jericho sighed, "Carla I am your real father," he said wishing he could be there instead, "I took a sample of your DNA to the hospital and compared it with Lisa's, you are both sisters and I am your father,"

"So does that mean that Uncle Hunter isn't Lisa's father?" Carla asked confused.

"WHAT?" LC cried grabbing the pink cell phone out of Carla B. Cool's hands.

"LC!" Carla snapped angrily her wrist now hurting, Homicide went inside his bag and pulled out some tape.

"Come here chica," he said sweetly and Carla let him tape up her wrist like a professional boxer, "Go like this," he said putting his fists up like a fighter and Carla copied him and smiled feeling much better, "She's alright," he said to Hernandez who nodded, as a father of two Homicide didn't like to see children suffer.

"Gracias amigo," Carla replied and she turned her attention back to her sister who was getting the lowdown on her paternity from Y2J who was still in Hollywood with Rocky and The McMahons.

"You're insane Jericho how could both your sperm fertilize mom's egg at the same-time?" she asked indignantly thinking Jericho was making the whole thing up.

"Well the doctor said that's what happened; when I slept with Chyna my sperm was about to fertilize her egg but decided to take a nap first or something, apparently my sperm is really lazy,"

"A little too much info dude YARGH!" LC said gagging and Jericho continued.

"Anyway when it woke up Hunter's sperm was almost inside the ovary! So my sperm caught up and just as Hunter's sperm was about to fertilize Joanie, we both broke through at the same-time!"

"What is this the Embryonic Olympics? What happened next?" LC asked and LAX and Sting frowned wondering what this little girl was on.

"The egg split into two, one was you and the other was Carla, so long story short you're twins with different fathers, get it? Got it? Good! Now put my daughter on the phone so I can say goodbye to her you little brat!"

"Go screw yourself Jericho or sleep with Stephanie whatever you do you're in for a miserable night!" LC replied and handed Carla back her cell phone, "He's your father alright," she said as Carla took the phone, "don't feel bad nobody's perfect, well except me I'm a Helmsley, what are you staring at Stinger?"

Sting shook his head, "You are a Helmsley through and through kid and I feel sorry for you," he replied and LC frowned.

"She doesn't know how many people would love to assassinate The Cerebral Assassin," Hernandez observed.

"I'd like to see them try big man because if anyone wants to mess with my dad, there's gonna have to go through me first," LC replied confidently and Konnan and Sting exchanged glances and wondered if LC knew what Jeff Jarrett had planned for DeGeneration X this month.

"Maybe we should just tell her now," Sting said and Konnan nodded.

"Tell me what ass-face?" LC asked Sting as they all walked towards the gate where the next flight to Orlando, FL was departing momentarily.

"JJ's planning another TNA invasion this time on your family," Sting explained and LC stopped and turned to see her adoptive family loitering outside the bathroom.

"Will you guys get over here Double J's up to something and it involves you!" she cried and her family strolled over to the little terror with apologetic looks on their faces, "What did you guys do in there get personality transplants what's wrong?" she asked suspiciously and Charlotte stroked her face lovingly but with tears in her eyes.

"We're not coming with you to see Hunter and Chyna LC," she said and LC shook her head confused.

"We thought it would be best to say goodbye here in LAX and then go back home to Bakersfield," her adoptive father said, "You don't need us anymore Lisa, you've got your own family now and its time for us all to go our separate ways,"

LC felt tears burning behind her lids but she dare not let them show, not in front of the rival TNA wrestlers and ROH punks, "So you're just gonna go home and forget me is that it?" she asked Charlotte who started to cry and Dan embraced her and wiped away his tears too.

"That's not what we planned but after seeing you perform at Louis Vuitton and the way you've been about HHH your entire childhood, there's nothing left for us to do except let you go to him LC, we're holding you back there's nothing left here for you in LA, except Carla of course," Dan explained and LC turned to look at her sister who was crying too.

"You knew about this?" she shouted angrily, "You knew they were gonna abandon me right here in LAX and didn't say anything?"

"I'm not going to leave Charlotte and Dan, not after everything they've done for me, I'm staying in LA too, that way I'll be closer to my father," Carla replied firmly and LC felt her heart breaking and Samoa Joe handed her his diet coke and she knocked it back hard, "You okay LC?" Carla asked as LC scrunched the can in her hand and scowled at her best friend cum cousin cum long lost sister.

"Okay Carla, you stay here with my adoptive family and your crazy ass father, I'm gonna go to Florida with the Stinger and LAX and get Cameron and Cheyenne out of grandma's house, then we're all gonna go to Universal Studios and have a blast. Just me and Cameron like at Karate Kamp, no more stupid Canadians to distract him, just me: Lisa Cornelius Helmsley. You better not write him anymore dumbass letters telling him how much you miss him because guess what? He's my boyfriend now! You should have never got with him in the first place; you made him into this weak and pathetic wuss just like you. Cameron Michaels used to be about something now he's nothing but a nervous wreck and its all your fault Carla B. Cool!" LC snarled.

"I think his mother dying had a little role in that too LC," Carla replied coolly and that made LC even madder, she held out her wrists to Homicide who knew what she wanted to do.

"Tape my wrists, I wanna whoop that trick!" LC demanded and Homicide looked at her adoptive family who shook there heads, "Don't listen to them they don't care about me anyway just do it!" LC barked and Charlotte picked her up and started to spank her on the bottom until she cried.

"That's enough out of you!" Charlotte said and LC jumped up and down furiously until Samoa Joe picked her up and put her in a sleeper.

"That's better," Sting said as the little Hell-raiser went to sleep in the Submission Machine's arms, "We'll call you from Florida," Sting told Charlotte who nodded taking Carla in her arms.

"She's not as tough as she thinks she is," Charlotte says, "Take care of my little sister,"

Sting nodded, "I won't let anything happen to her, God bless you guys," he said to Charlotte and her family including Carla who was worried that she had lost Cameron to his first love again, she had to speak to him soon, but first it was time to take a nap in her adoptive mother's arms and in the morning, she would be with Stephanie and Chris Jericho living the good life right here in L.A.

Somewhere over Texas . . .

Sean Preston was asleep on Torrie Wilson who was nervous about seeing Shawn Michaels again, she was sure Britney was in Charlotte already but how far would Sean Preston's mom go to get that ring around her finger?

"I hope she falls and twists her ankle before she can ring Naitch's doorbell," Torrie thought darkly stroking Sean Preston's hair as he slept, "then I can be with you longer little man," she said hopefully and kissed Sean's head, the kid's eyes popped open and he looked up into the big blue eyes staring back at him and smiled.

"I love you Torrie," he said and Torrie choked back tears as he went back to sleep in her arms.

"I've waited so long for a guy to say that to me and I had to hear it from a four year-old kid!" she sighed and Randy leaned over from the seat next to hers and smiled sweetly.

"Maybe it's a sign that you need to settle down, raise a family of your own," he said and Torrie rolled her eyes.

"What do you think I'm going to North Carolina for? To hang out with Flair and the Hardy Boyz? I'm marrying HBK if I have to drown this boy's mother to do it!" Torrie insisted and Randy backed off.

"Okay I see you've got this whole thing planned out, but I think you should know Shawn's not interested in marrying anyone except . . . well, I can't tell you or Trish is gonna kick my ass but it ain't you or Britney Spears," Randy replied and Torrie ignored him, "You don't believe me?" Randy said, "I want you to know I'll be there for you after he breaks your heart, that's all,"

Randy walked to the back where Undertaker was and sat down next to the Deadman while Torrie prepared her declaration of love to HBK causing Maria, Edge and the Bookahs to laugh out loud while Melina and Nitro made out in the bathroom.

"She's gonna get laryngitis," Randy said as Melina screamed with pleasure as Nitro made declarations of love peppered with kisses for the second time during the flight.

"Good then maybe she'll shut up for once," Shelton said covering his ears with both his as Krystal's pillows, "I wanted to ask you something baby, but I can't hear myself think!" Shelton complained to Krystal who was resting her head on his exposed chest.

"What?" she said crankily as Melina hit a note so high Mariah Carey couldn't even reach it.

"Lord have mercy," Maria said rubbing her rounding stomach, "I should have gotten pregnant by Nitro I haven't been romanced like that since . . ."

Everyone waited for Maria to fill in the blank but she never did and they went back to Shelton's question to Krystal.

"I want you to meet my momma in South Carolina," Shelton said and Krystal sat up straight the hairs on the back of her neck standing up and she wasn't the only one.

"Shelton no you didn't!" Randy Orton said getting excited.

"What didn't he do?" Melina asked coming out the bathroom pulling down her skirt before Nitro pulled her back in again and resumed their all nite sessions of making out in the airplane bathroom.

"He proposed to Krystal," Randy answered and turned the picture he took of Shelton and Krystal in L.A around and there they were cutting a wedding cake together.

"Halleluiah!" Judy Copeland cried coming over from her son's side and kissing Shelton and Krystal.

"Mazltov!" Edge said applauding them both.

"I haven't even proposed to her yet!" Shelton yelled outraged and Edge and his mother backed away quietly, "Thanks Air Canada, I was gonna wait 'til we got to NC so I could propose in front of Lita, Amy, Carlito, Naitch and DX,"

"What about the Hardyz?" Maria asked excitedly.

"Screw the Hardyz!" Mother and son Copeland said at the same time.

"That's not very Christian," Maria said disapprovingly furrowing her brow at Edge and Judy.

"Neither is having sex out of wedlock," Edge replied and everyone looked at him like he was the biggest jerk on the planet, "No judgment," Edge added knowing that's how the hatred between him and the Hardyz started in the first place.

"What about it Krystal? Will you marry me?" Shelton asked the sexy diva who couldn't believe what was happening.

"Oh my," she said and Maria wiped the tears away from her eyes loving seeing Melina and Krystal so happy, it gave her hope for the future when Punk got out of jail, "I'll have to check with my brother first,"

Shelton frowned, "You're brother? What's his name?"

"Jay," Krystal answered reluctantly and Randy hid behind Undertaker so Shelton couldn't see him laughing.

"Jay as in Jay and Silent Bob?" Edge asked curiously.

"No Jay as in JTG from Cryme Tyme," Krystal answered and Shelton's face melted.

"That dumbass n****i is your brother?" he cried in disbelief and Krystal nodded, "Did you know about this?" Shelton asked Randy who was still hiding behind The Deadman until Shelton pulled him up so he could see him laughing.

"I knew but I just wanted to see your face when you popped the question," Randy pulled out a picture of Shelton proposing to Krystal, "Here's the before picture," he said showing the picture to everyone looking, "And here's the after picture," he said showing everyone the picture of Shelton screaming in horror when JTG came up to him and said,

"YO-YO-YO-YO-YO - Yo, congratulations playa, Shad and I are gonna throw you the baddest, dirtiest, hoodiest bachelor party of all time, welcome to the Marshall family bruh!" JTG said jubilantly pulling Shelton into a hug while Shad popped open a bottle of Kristal and started pouring it over Shelton's head.

"I think we should just be friends," Shelton said through champagne soaked lips to Krystal who kissed him lovingly.

"We already are friends, I want you to be part of my family," she said adoringly.

Shelton looked over at Randy who was going red with laughter and so was everyone else.

"Give me that!" he yelled snatching the Cristal from Shad and knocking it back like ten year-old Scotch.

"Drink up everybody, there's much more where that came from," JTG said pointing to three crates of Cristal under Cryme Tyme's seats.

"Isn't that for Edge and Lita's wedding?" Undertaker said.

"There isn't gonna be a - hey what's your problem Orton?" JTG said as The King's Oracle kicked him abruptly, "If you wanted a glass all you had to do was ask!"

"Why you sitting next to Taker anyway? Didn't he Tombstone your ass the last time you were on PPV?" Shad asked handing out champagne glasses to everyone including Maria who handed it back, "Oh my bad baby here drink this instead," Shad said handing Maria some water.

"He's my boyfriend," Randy said and everybody spat out their Cristal at the same-time as Orton smiled proudly and came out of the closet, "That's right I'm here, I'm queer, get used to it," he said and Maria grabbed Torrie and told her to kiss him.

"But I love Shawn?" she said.

"Just do it!" Maria said and Torrie laid the Kiss of Life on Orton and brought him back to straightness.

"What happened? I had a dream that I was gay and you guys couldn't believe it," Randy said.

"It weren't no dream, you just came out of the closet!" Shad said still revolted by the mere idea of Randy with any man let alone The Deadman.

"Wow, I like you Mark but not that much sorry man, thanks Torrie," Randy said and Torrie smiled.

"Anything for a friend," she replied warmly and felt her lips swell and licked them savoring the sugary goodness the Kiss of Life always left behind.

"Maybe you should lay one of those on The Deadman, since he's still batting for his own team, no-one who wears that much mascara can be straight," Edge said disdainfully, he really should have kept his mouth shut.

Undertaker rose to his feet and stalked over to Edge, pulled him up by the scruff of his shirt and kissed him.

"Get off my boy!" Judy said wailing on The Deadman but it was too late, Mark went back to his seat with the sugary goodness St. Michaels had left on Edge and taken it for himself much to Edge's chagrin - his mouth felt assaulted now and the sweetness was gone; The Kiss of Life had been replaced by the Kiss of Death and Lita's fiancé was its first victim and unfortunately for Jeff and Shawn, the Deadman was heading their way too.


	9. The Iron Man and the Iron Maiden

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece?

A/N: Sorry for the long wait guys, I hope you all had a nice Easter, here's the next chapter please forgive me for the extreme delay!

Chapter Nine - The Iron Man and the Iron Maiden

Karen Curci's house, Palm Springs, Florida, Thursday 5pm:

Cheyenne and Cameron Michaels sat in front of the TV while their grandmother spoke on the phone for about three hours about what a slime ball their father was.

"I'm telling you Judy he's no good, don't even think about singing his praises . . . I know he saved the White House from those witches, I know he baptized Randy Orton, he's a drug addict plain and simple. That's why I'm keeping Chey and Cam-Cam here, where they're safe, I can't trust them around that deadbeat loser he's unstable who knows what'll happen to them in his care or lack thereof?"

Cameron grimaced squeezing the sides of his face into a funny shape making his little sister laugh and clap her hands cheerfully, she loved it when her brother got angry, it reminded her of her father whose temper always ended up in a wrestling match between her parents and Rebecca always picked up the win. Now that Rebecca was passed, Cheyenne missed her mother even more and having Cameron around made her remember that her father was still alive at least, she just hadn't seen or heard from him in a long time.

"What's up Chey why aren't you laughing anymore?" Cameron asked concerned taking his hands away from his face and bringing his sister into a hug.

Chey shrugged and put on a brave face, "I miss daddy that's all," she replied, "He hasn't called to check on us like he always does, do you think he's in Heaven with mommy?"

Cameron squeezed his eyelids shut so the tears burning at the back of his eyes didn't fall, the last thing he wanted was for his baby sister to see him cry, "No Chey he's not in Heaven . . . at least I don't think he is,"

"Why doesn't he call?" Cheyenne said watching E! News hoping to see a re-run of Live from Rodeo Drive featuring Mariah Carey and The McMahons, it was the only way they could see LC and the gang as they hadn't heard from the Lil Assassin or her sister Carla B. Cool in days either.

Cameron sighed, "Because Grandma's been on the phone forever that's why, he can't get through to us!" he said frustrated looking at LC rocking the short skirt and military boots with black and white striped socks like she always did but it was Carla who took his breath away; the blond curls, the clear blue eyes, she was his true love for sure, "We need to get to a phone, Uncle Scott lives around here somewhere, I say we go find him,"

Cheyenne gasped, "You mean leave without Grandma knowing?" she said scared and Cameron nodded.

"When Jesus died he said those who are free in Him are free indeed, and here we are like prisoners of war and what crime did we commit huh Chey? What crime?" Cameron asked.

"I guess we better go before she sees us," Cheyenne said and Cameron kissed her head and messed her bangs up playfully,

"Spoken like a true Michaels," he said proudly.

"Don't touch my hair!" Cheyenne snapped fixing her hair back.

"Spoken like a true Michaels," Cameron said again and shushed her with his hand and carried her gently to the back door while Grandma Circi yak-yak-yaked on about what an irresponsible parent Shawn Michaels was.

Scott Hall's House, South Palm Beach, Palm Springs, FL:

"Whoa!" Scott Hall cried as Sting, LAX, and Samoa Joe burst through the back door suddenly carrying a fighting little girl kicking at Joe's face trying to get down but Joe didn't seem to mind.

"Where's the Kings of Wrestling?" Sting said sarcastically looking around for Double J and Kevin Nash.

"They went to get some more groceries, the TNA boys ate out all the food and check me out I'm sober!" Hall exclaimed proudly and Sting, Joe and LAX did a double take when they realized that he was, "Shawn really did it this time, the man turned me into a boring Bible Reading New Testament Nerd, all the boys are getting fed up with me already I'm just no fun when I'm sober,"

Sting put his hand on Scott's shoulder, "You're better off sober, we're proud of you Scottie," he said sincerely and pulled Razor in for a big hug, "Now all we gotta do is get rid of that stomach and you can come back to work,"

"There's nothing wrong with being a little heavy right Joe?" Hall asked The Samoan Submission Machine who was trying to get out of a headlock so expertly applied by Lisa Cornelius Helmsley, "Isn't that Hunter's first born assassin?" Scott asked pointing to the little blond warrior princess.

LAX nodded, "She can wrestle man, I say we keep her," Homicide said.

Sting shook his head, "Absolutely not we've gotta take her back to DX before Jarrett sees her,"

"She'd be good for TNA, everyone would tune in to see the product of Hunter's loins working on our turf instead of Vince's," Hernandez added.

"That's not a good enough reason to kidnap someone's daughter, we take her over to Christian's and keep her there until we can get her safely back to her father," Sting said firmly and the TNA guys sighed.

"Why do we always have to back down to the WWE? They have everything, what's the harm in VKM coming out with LC as the third member on Impact tonight? Sure it'll piss Hunter off and you and Nash would get kicked out of the Kliq again but ya'll are boys now, Shawn and Hunter will forgive and forget. LC's already been in the media - seeing her on TNA would do good business and it would only be for one night!" Konnan explained passionately.

"I gotta say Sting I don't think that's a bad idea," Scott Hall confessed and Sting rolled his eyes.

"I know you think it's a good idea, Double J's your pal, I think its reprehensible and what I say goes!" Sting said, "And that's the last I wanna hear about LC working for TNA,"

LC released Samoa Joe allowing him to catch his breath and get the color back in his face, straightened her skirt and squared her jaw looking just like Hunter before he spoke to someone he really hated.

"I want to see my father now," she said simply and Sting patted her on the head.

"You will honey, we just have to wait for Christian to take you back to his place so Jeff Jarrett doesn't get you," Sting explained.

"Don't pat me on the head I'm not a dog, I'll take you out like that Stinger!" LC said clicking her fingers, "If you think I'm gonna stay with that Creepy Lil' (Canadian) Bastard for one second you're sadly mistaken!" she snapped and turned to leave when Sting grabbed her, she started to struggle but couldn't get free, "Do you know what my father would do if he saw you manhandling me like this?"

"I dunno, bore me to death with one of his old Evolution promos?" Sting replied sarcastically and LC stopped fighting.

"You know you're right, I hate it when people go on and on, I believe in taking action - Y'AH!" LC cried hitting Sting with a Tornado DDT and leaping out through the back window right into Cameron's waiting arms.

"LC!" Cheyenne cried ecstatically clapping her hands with joy.

"Are you okay, you got glass all over you," Cameron said standing the Helmsley warrior princess to her feet and picking the glass out of her hair.

"I'm fine," LC snapped batting Cameron's hand away angrily, "What are you doing here?"

"Chey and I ran away from Grandma's house, she wouldn't let us talk to Daddy, we've been held hostage for 2 days!" Cameron replied still picking glass off of LC as she glared at him darkly.

"Well why didn't you kick her fat ass off the phone?" she asked.

"Fat ass? LC that hurts my feelings," came the voice of Karen Curci, HBK's mother-in-law as she approached the children standing outside Scott Hall's house, "Your father's gonna rue the day he ever met my daughter and messed up her life the way he did now get over here so I can spank you into the next century!" she yelled and Cameron and Cheyenne and Shawn's little girl jumped into LC arms afraid, Cameron however stood his ground.

"NO!" he yelled and LC smiled relieved Cameron actually had a set! "I want my father to come pick us up, we're not going back with you and there's nothing you can do about it,"

Karen laughed the rolls in her stomach jiggling through her sweater, "Oh you kids make me laugh," she said approaching the children about to drag Cameron by his arm and spank him in front of LC and Cheyenne when suddenly, in a flash, she was flat on her back completely unconscious.

"SWEET CHIN MUSIC!" LC and Cheyenne cried at the same time along with LAX, Scott Hall and Samoa Joe, Sting covered his mouth in shock.

"Cameron! Cameron! Cameron! Cameron!" LC and Cheyenne chanted dancing around their hero as he took a bow and dusted off his shoulder cockily.

"Next stop, Uncle Ric's house," he said taking his sister from LC and putting her on his back, "Uncle Scott can we use your phone? It's an emergency," he asked Hall politely, Scott just stared at him.

"I got goose bumps Cameron, you are everything like your father," he replied still reeling over the Sweet Chin Music to Rebecca's mom as Sting carried Karen Curci back to her house in Konnan's wheelchair.

"And I thought Joe was heavy," Konnan complained under the body Sting just slumped over him, he missed being able to walk, after this he wasn't going to be walking again anytime soon and that brought a smile to the Stinger's face.

Cameron was about to ask where LC where Carla was when he felt the soft press of LC's lips to his cheek and stared at her in shock.

"Now that's the boy I know and love, I miss you Cameron Michaels," she said looking at him fondly and Cameron's stomach flipped, "I guess you wanna call Carla?" she asked him as Hall handed him his cell-phone. As Cameron flipped the lid and was about to dial Carla's cell, he couldn't move his fingers he felt his whole body trembling, there was something happening between him and LC, something that he never thought would ever happen again, so he dialed the only number he could at that moment to talk to the only person that could understand him.

"Dad?" he said as HBK answered the phone, "I miss you can you come to Uncle Scott's and pick us up?" he asked anxiously and Shawn knew that something was going on.

"Who's us?" he asked knowing a girl was involved.

"Me, Chey and um . . . Lisa," he said finally and LC felt her stomach flip at the sound of her name from his mouth which was smiling at her, shyly at first, then Cameron Michaels gave her the full-blown Michaels smile and LC responded with the full-blown Helmsley smirk and just like that, the two Degenerates became one again.

"Shawn why are you smiling?" Lita asked HBK as he hung up his cell-phone, he looked over at Lita who was standing in the doorway with Edge draped around her.

"LC and Cameron are back together," he said.

"But what about Carla?" Edge said worried about his little Canadian friend.

"He's done with her, she was just an experiment," Shawn replied casually, "All boys do it, now he knows Carla's not the girl for him,"

"But she's so nice!" Lita exclaimed feeling sorry for Carla B. Cool.

"And Canadian!" Edge added equally sympathetic for Carla Canadian Cool.

"Yeah but nice is only cool for awhile, eventually a man wants a girl he can get physical with, know what I mean Lita?" Shawn said getting off his bed in one of Ric Flair's many guest bedrooms.

"Yeah but we're wrestlers they're just children, they shouldn't be so close already, what if they have sex?" Lita said and Edge shook his head.

"Please Cameron doesn't even know how to spell 'erection' let alone have one," Shawn said, "At least I hope he doesn't, not everything ends up in sex Lita, some people can get by just holding hands,"

"Wanna give holding hands a try Edgemeister?" Lita asked her fiancé who disapproved of the very idea of sex not being the end all-be-all of all relationships.

"We can hold hands after I hit it," he replied and Shawn rolled his eyes.

"I have to go pick up my kids, you can use my bed, just remember to clean up afterwards you Rated R soon-to-be-husband-and-wife perverts," he said pulling on his cowboy boots and grabbing his black cowboy hat off the armchair by the door when Lita stopped him going through the door.

"Can I just tell you something real quick?" she said with a concerned look in her eyes and Shawn frowned.

"What's up Big Red?" he replied.

"Bret Hart's downstairs," she said and Shawn lost all color in his face.

"Where's Hunter?" Shawn replied clenching his fists angrily.

"He went to see Mark with Jeff and Matt," Lita replied.

"Why didn't he tell me he was going to leave me here with that Sharpshooting sonofabitch?" Shawn snapped angrily about to kick a hole in Ric's expensive guest bedroom door.

"Because he knew you wouldn't let him go, he said you have to stay here with us," Edge chimed in and Shawn paced back and forth angrily.

"He's gonna kill him, he's gonna kill the Undertaker for messing with Jeff!" he said, "Thank God I have this connection through the Holy Spirit; I can't help it if God wants me to Kiss people back to Life? Who am I to argue with God?"

"The Kiss of Life has been turned into the Kiss of Death! Undertaker stole it from Randy after he got it from Torrie then he had the nerve to use it on me and now Taker's gonna use it to keep Jeff from going back to normal, he's not breaking that curse off him anytime soon, he's gonna seal it with a Kiss . . . of . . . DEATH!" Edge explained dramatically and Shawn's jaw dropped, he looked at Lita horrified.

"And you knew about this?" he asked her annoyed, "You let Hunter go to the Deadman with the Kiss of Death? What if he uses it on Hunter, it could kill him Lita?"

"Relax HBK," Trish Stratus said coming into the room with Carlito and Flair and the radiant Torrie Wilson who looked so beautiful Shawn couldn't even take his eyes off her, her sun-kissed skin glowed beneath her barely blond curls and her smile turned his scowl into an adoring smile, the Carolina sunshine did her good, "Hunter's in good hands, the Hardyz promised they wouldn't let Mark hurt him, quit yelling at your eternal soul mate,"

"You've got the Kiss of Life," Shawn said to Torrie Wilson ignoring Trish Stratus, it was impossible to ignore Torrie Wilson.

Wilson nodded, "I miss you Shawn, can we go somewhere and talk?" she asked sweetly and Shawn raised his eyebrow 'The Rock' style.

"Go somewhere and "talk"?" he said making inverted quotes with his hands, and looked at Flair who was nodding for him to go with her and get some, "I don't think so,"

"Shawn!" Lita snapped horrified as Torrie Wilson slunk away in embarrassment in a flood of tears, "Take her with you to pick up Chey and Cam, you can't just burn her like that?"

"Like I said, not all things lead to sex, some people are just content holding hands, Torrie Wilson is only content with holding my hand down the isle. I'm not ready yet Lita, get off my case!" Shawn snapped and Lita went scarlet with rage, Edge tried to calm her down but it was too late: her skin was burning up and he burnt his hand when he went to hold hers and before he could stop her she was gone.

"Lita!" Edge called out through the bedroom window as Lita ran after Shawn who jumped in his 4x4 and headed to the airport for Florida.

"Randy can I borrow your car?" Lita asked TKO who ran out after her with Shelton, Krystal, Nitro and Melina.

"No-one drives this bad boy but yours truly now, if you would like me to escort you to the airport I would be more than willing to-"

"Come on Lita let's roll!" Melina said snatching the car keys out of TKO's pants pocket cutting him off and starting the car while Lita jumped in the passenger seat.

"Trish come on!" Lita yelled to her sister in Christ who ran out to them with everyone else and shaking her blond locks furiously.

"You're wasting your time he doesn't want to be with Torrie!" Trish protested as the broken-hearted blond from Boise, Idaho came outside too wiping her mascara-ridden eyes trying not to cry anymore.

"So who does he want?" she asked The Truth: Trish Stratus and The Truth, El Con Dios and The King's Oracle exchanged solemn glances.

"I think its time to tell them Truth, Stratus," Randy said pulling the key out of the ignition so Melina couldn't drive away in his favorite ride.

"Tell us what?" Edge said coming over to him with Flair, The Bookahs and Bret Hart. Trish, Carlito and Randy took a deep breath and Trish finally stepped forward.

"Shawn . . ." she said.

" . . . Loves . . ." Carlito continued.

"LITA!" Randy finished holding up a picture of Shawn Michaels and Amy "Lita" Dumas kissing in a chapel with Melina and Trish on either side as bridesmaids.

Edge tore the picture from Orton's fingers and glared at it menacingly, he took Randy by the scruff of his neck turning TKO's neck blue.

"Where is this wedding chapel?" he growled ferociously like a rabid wolverine.

Orton looked at Trish nervously.

"Don't tell him!" Trish yelled.

"WHERE IS IT?" Edge barked cutting off Randy's oxygen.

"Tijuana, Mexico!" Randy blurted out and Trish slapped Edge around the head.

"You nearly killed him!" Carlito said holding Randy up so he didn't pass out, "All he did was tell the Truth!"

"The Truth? What do you care about the Truth?" Judy Copeland said angrily coming to her son's defense, "This whole time you knew Stratus, you knew that Lita and Shawn were in love and you didn't say anything to Adam? What kind of woman are you?"

"My daughter is a woman of God and she answers only to Him! She doesn't even know she's in love with Shawn!" Mrs. Dumas said coming to her daughter's defense, "Judy you can lie to yourself but I know you don't think Edge is marriage material," Trish replied and Judy snarled defiantly.

"Oh you got that right," Trish said.

"That's not true!" Judy Copeland yelled at her.

"It has to be true: I'm The Truth: Trish Stratus!" Trish replied.

"Shawn and Lita are gonna get married? Torrie Wilson said in shock, "Good for them," she said drying her eyes and pulling herself together, and everyone turned to her surprised.

"You're happy about this?" Edge said horrified at Torrie's sudden support for this betrayal of Montreal proportions.

"I'm always happy when two people find each other against all the odds, I mean how long have you known Lita and you slept with her behind your best friend's back and had the nerve to go back to your first wife instead of leaving her and marrying Lita like you were supposed to last year,"

Torrie smiled to herself as she spoke reflecting over the past, "Now Shawn's a widower with two kids and the woman you should have married years ago is in love with him. Let's stop kidding ourselves Edge, after everything they've been through; the drugs, the sex, the Canadians and the controversy - if anyone deserves to be happy and I mean really happy its Shawn and Lita, I couldn't be happier for them, you should be happy for them too,"

Everyone broke into a round of applause at Wilson's speech including Judy Copeland; Edge was having none of it.

"Come on Bret," he said to Bret Hart who didn't know what to think after seeing Edge and Shawn's Playgirl centerfold pictures and now they both wanted to marry to the same woman; nothing like this ever happened in Canada.

"Where are you going?" Judy Copeland asked her son as he jumped into the back of Flair's limousine with Bret Hart.

"To Tijuana, Mexico - if you think I'm gonna let Shawn Michaels get away with this you've got another thing coming ATM! To the airport!" Edge told the driver who looked at his boss and the Naitch told him not to move, Edge took him out of the driver's seat and shoved him out of the limo.

"Hey that's my driver you punk!" Naitch said running over to the frightened man, Edge took the driver's hat and put it on his head.

"This is an emergency Flair," Edge responded and drove up to Lita who was numb from the head down, she hadn't said a word to anyone, "We'll be husband and wife on Saturday baby, no crazy Cowboy is gonna stop us from being Mr. and Mrs. Rated R!" he declared and kissed her on the cheek before rolling out to the airport leaving Lita trembling in the driveway, the only thing stopping her from falling to the ground were the two angelic beings holding her up on each side and TKO smiled as it was a sign of things to come.

"Let's roll," Randy said as Trish and Melina lowered Lita into the back of his Hummer H2 with Carlito, Shelton and Krystal, "We gotta go after them, Naitch you wait here for Hunter and Joanie and don't leave until they get here!"

Nitro jumped in the passenger's seat and Randy took off as Torrie, Flair and King and Queen Bookah waved goodbye to them staying put and patiently waited for Hunter, Chyna and the Hardyz to return so they could all go Mexico for the most controversial wedding in WWE history.

"Shawn and Lita are getting married, there's only one thing to say at a time like this," King Bookah said to his wife.

"What's that?" Queen Sharmell asked.

"WHOOOOO!" Ric Flair said and Torrie and King and Queen Bookah laughed and gave a "WHOOOOO!" of their own.


	10. O Brother, Where Art Thou?

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece?

Chapter Ten - O Brother, Where Art Thou?

Grand Wilshire Hotel, Beverly Hills, L.A, Thursday 12 noon

Stephanie McMahon made another vodka and coke and waited for Jericho to get off the phone with Carla B. Cool. The Canadian sweetheart was on her way to the hotel right now with Charlotte and Dan to be united with her father for the first time ever; they didn't know that LC and her half-sister had parted on bad terms and Stephanie didn't care to hear that name for the next millennia. Lisa Cornelius Helmsley had been the bane of Stephanie's existence since the first time she saw the little warrior princess and now Hunter was moving on with not just his old flame Chyna, but his first and second child Lisa and Aurora. In a nutshell: Hunter had taken everything and Stephanie was left with Jericho and his Canadian daughter who she would have no choice but to accept as the new member of the McMahon family now that Hunter was out of her life forever.

"Is she seriously taking another drink?" Vicky Guerrero asked The Rock who was worried about the state the Billion Dollar Princess had been in over the past few days.

"This is not good, we need to get her away from the liquor cabinet before she drinks herself into a coma," The Rock said getting to his feet, he snatched the vodka bottle away from Stephanie and poured the contents down the bidet in the bathroom.

"Rey stop her she's going back for more!" Vicky cried as Stephanie jumped back into the hotel room liquor cabinet like a starving raccoon at a garbage dump. She pushed Rey-Rey back and pulled out another bottle of something, when Rey went to grab it Stephanie through it over his head and started laughing when it smashed against the mirror shattering it and the glass into a billion pieces.

"That was so much fun, come on let's trash the entire hotel!" Stephanie said drunk with excitement and visa versa.

"Uh-oh," Rey-Rey said to The Rock and Vicky Guerrero as Stephanie proceeded to smash bottle after bottle until the room was drenched and stank of alcohol.

"You're lucky your dad can afford to pay for all this," The Rock said backing Vicky and Rey away from the broken glass. Stephanie removed her shoes and Rey, Rocky and Vicky looked at each other puzzled then horrified they screamed out causing Jericho to drop his cell-phone as Stephanie began to walk barefooted across the broken glass.

"Stephanie what are you doing?" Charlotte cried as Jericho opened the door to let her in with Dan and Carla B. Cool.

"I'm walking on glass like Jesus did," Stephanie said as the glass crunched beneath her manicured toes like she didn't even feel the shards cutting into her skin.

"I thought Jesus walked on water?" Kaylee Marie asked her older sister Shaul as they came in from the veranda. Vicky Guerrero grabbed Shaul, Sherilyn and Kaylee Marie and screamed when they saw exactly what Stephanie McMahon was doing.

"Jesus didn't walk on glass he walked on water," she corrected her daughter, "It's a demon she's possessed!" Vicky said, "We need to call ATM they'll know what to do,"

"No they won't," came a sweet little voice and everyone looked over at the small Canadian blond with the glass blue eyes wondering what she meant, "They don't care about any of us, all Lita, Trish and Melina care about is Shawn, Hunter and that little bitch sister of mine LC,"

Carla unlaced her boots and pulled off her socks, she walked over to Jericho and reached out for his hand. When Jericho took it a bolt of electricity surged through their bodies and their hair began to stand on end, Stephanie felt the blood trickling from her soles begin to boil and the glass began to warm her feet, suddenly she was smiling demonically her green eyes ablaze with a fierce power never seen before by any of the WWE Superstars in that room.

"Chris, Carla . . . come to me," she said in a voice that was not her own.

"What in the blue Hell is going on?" The Rock yelled frightened as Rey, Vicky and the children huddled into a corner watching the supernatural events taking place with fear in their hearts.

"She's possessed I said, this is a satanic ritual I've seen it in Mexico!" Vicky Guerrero said as Stephanie linked hands with Chris Jericho and Carla B. Cool.

"Now kiss my feet," Stephanie said her eyes gleaming with enchantment.

"NO!" Vicky yelled running over to Stephanie and grabbing her arm but the Billion Dollar princess knocked her back and sent her flying back into Rey and Rocky.

"DO IT!" Stephanie commanded and before The Rock could stop him Jericho and Carla were kissing Stephanie McMahon's bloodied feet.

Stephanie smiled at their bloody lips and pulled them into an embrace, "Now kiss your new mother," Stephanie said to Carla who gave Stephanie a loving kiss, then Stephanie kissed Jericho passionately taking the blood into her mouth.

"Oh no, Stephanie just made a blood covenant with Jericho and Carla," Rey-Rey said angrily.

"What's a blood covenant?" The Rock asked.

"Like the one Jesus made with mankind when he died at Calvary, only without the King of Kings it's just a normal blood exchange like what witches and vampires do," Vicky Guerrero explained panicking and Shaul's eyes widened with terror as her mother squeezed her daughters closer fearing that they might cut themselves on all the glass that was broken and scattered everyone around them.

"You mean Stephanie, Jericho and Carla made a covenant - with the devil?" Shaulasked scared beyond her years.

"That's right; they're filled with the spirit of the unholy ghost!" Vicky said trembling, she suddenly realized they were one kid short, "Rey where's your son?"

"What?" Rey asked not paying attention until Vicky slapped him on the shoulder and he turned around like a spinner belt, "Where's Dominic?"

"I'm here daddy," came an unfamiliar voice and everyone looked around to see Charlotte and Dan holding onto Dominic and Aaliyah Mysterio, both of whose eyes were rolled back into their heads.

"Rey they're possessed, let go of them!" Vicky yelled at Charlotte and Dan but they were possessed too and knocked Rey, Rocky and Vicky back with some sort of demonic force.

"What is going on here where is this evil spirit coming from?" The Rock wondered as the room began to darken.

"It must have something to do with this thing between the McMahons and DX, now that Aurora's on Hunter's side Stephanie must have invoked some sort of demonic power from satan to get revenge on ATM for reuniting the Kliq!" Rey-Rey answered.

"Jericho!" The Rock shouted but the Ayatollah of Rock N' Rolla didn't say anything, "Jericho look at me!" The Rock demanded and Chris finally turned around but The Rock really wished he hadn't: the third eye was back!

"EW!" The children cried as the mysterious blue orb appeared in the middle of Jericho's forehead again, Shaul did a double-take and pointed out that both Stephanie and Carla had third eyes too!

"This is all because of Hunter and Chyna getting back together, we gotta get in touch with those damn Helmsleys and figure out a way to rebuke the demonic spirit that has possessed everyone except us!" The Rock said.

"Is this why you're always telling us to pray without ceasing mama?" Sherilyn asked her mother.

"Yes darling why don't you lead by example and pray with your sisters while Dwayne, Rey and I figure out how to get out of here?" Vicky told her daughters and they dropped to their knees and began to pray that Cameron, Cheyenne and LC were doing exactly the same thing with ATM and their new familia a degenerate Shawn, Hunter and Chyna.

Undertaker's Ranch, Houston, TX, 1:30pm:

The dust on the ground finally settled as Hunter and Chyna stood outside Mark Calloway's ranch and waited for The Deadman to come out to them. Aurora hadn't taken too kindly to being woken up and started a hurricane that lasted about an hour after they left the airport causing extreme delays in the area, if Undertaker didn't come out to talk to them soon, Hurricane Aurora was going to cause serious damage to his home town.

"Come on Deadman my daughter hasn't had her lunch yet and she's getting cranky!" Hunter warned him and LC rocked her back and forth gently.

"Why isn't he coming out?" Jeff Hardy asked Matt Hardy.

"Because he knows he's gonna get his ass kicked that's why?" Cameron Michaels replied, him, Chey and LC having been flown over to Texas by TNA's own Lance Hoyt who lived in Dallas and insisted on helping Shawn's only son out, plus flying in a jet was a really good way to impress Cameron's new girlfriend, "Come on out Taker we're gonna get you anyway, I heard about you stealing my daddy's Kiss of Life and we're not going anywhere until you give it back!" he cried and LC blushed with pride, she was so gay for him right now.

"Cameron you're so cool but I think you should let the Helmsleys take care of this one," Lisa said to her old flame who kissed her hand and let her take center stage. Hunter held her back though and LC looked up at his copper whiskers and brown prisms questioningly, "We can't hesitate one minute longer, if he wants to play I say we play too, know what I mean sis?" Lisa said to Aurora who waved her sterling silver rattle back and forth rapidly and a huge whirlwind appeared in the sky.

"Its getting pretty cold out here, are you sure you wanna handle it like this Hunter? One blow and Aurora could tear the roof off of his whole house!" Matt Hardy asked the Cerebral Assassin who stroked his beard thoughtfully.

"You know I could really go for some Skittles right now, how about you go get me some?" The Game said.

"Yes'm," Matt replied and V.1 walked sheepishly away into his car to pick some up until his brother pulled him back by the arm and told him to pick him up some too.

"Do they still have those Hawaiian flavored ones?" Chyna asked and Matt shrugged, "Okay well then I'll just have a coke," she said and Matt nodded and drove into town wondering how things were going back in NC with Lita and Shawn; they were so meant for each other, he hoped Randy Orton's prediction of them getting together would come true and Edge's dreams of marrying Lita were dashed on the rocks.

"What a shame that would be," Matt thought to himself as he pulled up outside the nearest convenience store and saw some girls reading Playgirl magazine.

"Can you believe it, I never thought Edge felt that way about Shawn but I'm glad they're putting it right out there where the whole world can see it," one of the girls said.

"Yeah and they totally make the cutest couple," one of the other girls said and Matt Hardy looked over their shoulder to see the most offensive thing since the Live Sex show Lita and Edge did back in '05.

"Matt Hardy I love you!" one of the girls screamed and suddenly Matt was being mauled by a pack of affectionate MFers like he wasn't used to that already, "Are you aware that Edge and Shawn Michaels are lovers?"

"Yeah now that Edge is out of the closet you can totally get back together with Lita!" one of the girls said excitedly.

"No," Matt said.

"Yeah you can Edge was clearly going through a phase or something with her I mean look . . he's sucking HBK's face off he's so not into girls," another girl explained.

"No," Matt said.

"Yeah come on, I mean what are you waiting for? Ashley was like such a mistake, she is like the worst wrestler ever and a total slut who's already slept with half the WWE locker room, Lita is the woman you were supposed to marry, don't you see? God is giving you a sign right here in the center of Playgirl magazine!"

Matt Hardy glared at the centerfold and couldn't help but admire Shawn's beauty; his gorgeous skin, his hazel grey-blue eyes, his blazing fiery red hair . . . if it wasn't for the lack of make-up he could have been Lita.

"No girls you're wrong this means nothing; it was created by Alex Shelley in a lab at Paparazzi Productions in Orlando, FL and it means nothing, Shawn and Edge are not gay, this photo is a complete fake," Matt explained.

"Oh," the girls said together following Matt Hardy into the store as he searched for Skittles and coke, he didn't have to look far for the coke but there were six different brands of Skittles and he had no idea which one Hunter liked best.

"Are you still mad at Lita for cheating on you with Edge?" one of the girls asked.

"No," Matt replied, "I'm mad that Shawn hasn't made his move on her after all this time, he's had it for her since that SummerSlam photo shoot back in '05, he was staring at her for like ever, the whole company was talking about it the next day but he said that he was just looking and that he would never cheat on his wife with any woman, unlike Edge who is the whore of Babylon,"

The girls frowned, "HBK isn't interested in Lita, he's still in mourning," one of them said and Matt Hardy rolled his eyes.

"I guess you're the experts," he said sarcastically and turned away to call Hunter, "Yo Trips what's your brand, berry, fruity or Hawaiian?" he asked The Game on his cell but he didn't get a response, "Hunter can you hear me?" he asked but again no answer came, "Hunter?"

A cold chill came over Matt suddenly as his brother's shaky voice came through the receiver of the cell-phone, "Matt I'm dying . . . I've been kissed to death by The Undertaker . . . get Shawn, hurry . . . Hunter's gonna kill Mark and oh yeah . . . tell Lita I said congratulations . . . "

"JEFF!" Matt screamed and the girls jumped at the volume of his voice.

"What's wrong?" the convenience store clerk asked and just as Matt was about to run to his car the sky split in half and the wind began to whisper.

"Oh my God!" one of the girls cried pointing to the sky and there was a tornado heading their way.

"We better get to the fallout shelter!" the clerk said pulling the girls to the back but Matt Hardy just grabbed all the boxes of Skittles, a 40 ounce bottle of coke and followed after the tornado. It was heading in the direction he came and he knew just who had called it. His phone rang and he answered it.

"Not now Randy Jeff's in trouble I gotta go back and get him!" he told TKO who had called Matt's phone from the airport.

"Forget about Jeff Matt listen up real close, I want you to drive to Tijuana, Mexico there's gonna be a wedding in 48 hours and you're giving away the bride," Randy Orton said and Matt Hardy frowned in confusion.

"What are you talking about Randy the only person who's getting married is Lita and Edge in Toronto this Saturday and Shawn's giving her away," he replied and Randy couldn't help but smile at the news he was about to give one of his best friends in the business.

"There's been slight change of plans," he said cockily, glancing over at El Con Dios and The Truth: Trish Stratus who were listening in on the call, "You see Lita is getting married, but not to Edge and Shawn's not giving her away . . . he's marrying her instead,"

Matt smiled and wiped a tear away from his eye, "Lita and Shawn are getting married?" he said in disbelief, "But how what about Edge how did this happen?"

"I don't have time to explain just get here, ATM, El Con Dios and I are on our way to Mexico right now to stop Edge from ruining the wedding, we need you to forget about your brother and get down here now!" Randy demanded and Matt Hardy looked up as the sky blackened over Undertaker's ranch.

"What about Hunter and Jeff?" he asked concerned as he turned off the road onto the exit towards the airport.

Trish took the phone from Randy and said, "Don't worry Matt The Helmsleys will weather the storm, DX will take care of the Deadman," she assured him, "Now get your pretty ass down here we've got a Cowboy Spearing Canadian with a Sharpshooting Hall of Famer and he's not afraid to use it!"

"Is Jeff gonna be alright?" Matt asked Trish but she didn't reply, "I can't leave America until I know my brother's gonna be okay Trish, now tell me what's gonna happen to him!"

There was no answer just the sound of Trish crying and Carlito telling Randy Orton to give him the phone, "Matt this is Carlito and what I'm about to tell you is not cool, in every war there is a sacrifice and your brother was more than willing to sacrifice himself for Shawn and Lita,"

"What are you saying to me Carlito what did Jeffrey do?" Matt said hysterically his heart thumbing against his chest frantically.

"Jeff asked Hunter if he would let him take the Kiss of Death from Undertaker as a sacrifice instead of him and Hunter said yes," Carlito said and Matt Hardy stopped the car. Carlito felt terrible but he couldn't lie, he was under a holy mandate to tell the truth, "Matt, your brother's dead,"

The words barely left Carlito's lips before a loud sobbing broke out over the phone line and everyone in the car knew that the news had finally been broken.

"Give me the phone Carlos," Lita said through tear-stained orbs and Carlito handed the radiant red-head the cell-phone, "Matt?"

"I'm so happy for you bella, but I want my brother back!" Matt cried down the phone.

Lita wept through her hair and tried not to sound as bad as she did when she heard about the sacrifice that had been made so Hunter could live and not die, "I know so l think you better come to the wedding,"

Matt paused between sobs, it sounded like Lita had something planned, "What are you saying to me bella?"

"I'm saying I want you to see the greatest miracle of all time and I'm not talking about me getting married to Shawn Michaels, Melina is going to bring Jeff back to life and in exchange, ATM will be no more," Lita said and Matt felt terrible.

"Are you sure you'll be willing to give up the best thing that has ever happened to you so I can have my little brother back?" he asked her compassionately and Lita smiled through her tears and came to the realization that Hunter had been right about her and Shawn all along and she felt bad for giving him such a hard time about it, she'd have to make it up to him somehow, saving his life several times just wasn't enough.

"I'm sure Matt, plus ATM is not the best thing that has ever happened to me," she said looking over at the blond South Texan crying over his cross on the hood of Randy Hummer praying for Jeff Hardy, Hunter, Joanie and his family's safety during this spiritually dangerous time in all their lives, Matt knew what his ex-girlfriend was saying.

"Well in that case I wouldn't miss this wedding if it was on the same day as Wrestlemania," Matt replied.

"I knew I could rely on you Hardy Boy," Lita replied adoringly.

"What are friends for? I see you soon - Big Red," Matt teased and hung up the phone with such a twist of joy and sorrow in his heart, when he saw Jeff's happy-go-lucky face again it would only be joy.

Lita jumped out of the car and sat on the hood with HBK who hadn't said a word to her since Orton chased him down at the airport and told him what God had said about him and Lita being his favorite angelic pairing since Trish and Carlito.

She shoved him on the shoulder and he looked at her wearily, "Hey," she said and eventually he smiled at her shyly and she saw her whole life revolving around HBK's smile.

"Hey yourself," he said back thinking about how much they had been through together since the formation of ATM and now they were getting married and God had filled every other one of his holy helpers in on the details of this amazing turn of events instead of him and Lita! There's was so much they had to talk about but where to begin? Shawn thought about the most romantic yet quick way of telling Lita that he thought she was pretty when Trish smacked him on the hand as his fingers gently grazed Lita's tear-stained cheek like a naughty child with his hand in the cookie jar, if you could call Lita that.

"Did you feel that?" Shawn asked Lita as a warm glow filled his heart after just barely putting his fingers to Lita's face, "My heart is like pounding," Shawn said putting his hand under his jacket through his shirt and feeling his heart race with an excitement he hadn't felt before, "This must be that passion that Pastor Hagee's always saying was missing from my marriage, I guess we are meant to be together Amy,"

Lita looked away; she thought if he smiled at her again or said her name like that one time, there was no way they were gonna make it to Tijuana without making love first and Trish gave her a stern look of disapproval.

"Don't even think about it until after the wedding, we've still got a lot of work to do sister, there's Hunter, Undertaker and there's this thing with Stephanie and Jericho that I haven't even told you guys about yet and TNA's got something up their sleeve again . . . so no kissing until we've saved the wrestling world alright?" Trish Stratus told them taking Lita by the hand and St. Michaels nodded watching Lita go and El Con Dios and The King's Oracle sighed in frustration; after all their hard work to get Shawn and Lita together now HBK wasn't even get to first base until Saturday!

"I may have been the Legend Killer but your girlfriend is definitely the Buzz Killer Carlito," Randy Orton said coming out to the hood of his car and hugging Shawn along with Carlito, Nitro, Shelton and Krystal who had been praying for Jeff Hardy while the plane for Tijuana pulled into the gate. Meanwhile over by the other side of the road Anointed Amy, The Truth: Trish Stratus and Melina the Miraculous prayed and wept over what was going to be the last time God would use the angelic trio to save another human being's life; this Sunday morning, Jeff Hardy would rise from the dead and ATM would be no more.


	11. Escape From LA

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece?

Chapter Eleven - Escape From L.A.

Back at the Wilshire Hotel, Beverly Hills, Los Angeles . . .

Stephanie McMahon was hovering above the ground and everyone was terrified; Jericho and Carla B. Cool where holding hands, their hair wild with electricity that had short circuited all the lights in the entire hotel. The Rock, The Guerreros and Rey Mysterio were trapped, Charlotte and Dan were refusing to let them leave, there was only one way out and that was through the window and out to the veranda. That was already taken as Stephanie, Jericho and Carla flew right through it blazing the sky like Super Sayins in Dragonball Z. The Rock flew out to the balcony and called out to Jericho begging him to come back before somebody saw them and called the police, the cops had already killed Shawn's wife because of witchcraft, what would they do to Stephanie and Jericho if they saw them like this?

"Jericho come back you assclown you're gonna get killed up there!" The Rock yelled.

Jericho turned in mid-air and smiled demonically, "No I'm the one who does the killing!" he snarled and Stephanie and Carla cackled.

"Hunter, Joanie and LC won't know what hit 'em," Stephanie said and they took of like a comet tearing across the sky.

The Rock turned to Rey and Vicky panicking, "They're going to kill DX, we have to warn Shawn and Hunter!" he said taking out his cell-phone when Dan knocked it out of his hand.

"Shut your mouth!" he yelled still possessed, "Nobody goes anywhere until Stephanie McMahon says so,"

Rey-Rey looked up at the chandelier, it was huge and still flickering which means there was electricity still running through the room. He winked at Rocky who nodded knowing what Rey-Rey intended to do; he locked his hands and Rey used him as a springboard to the chandelier which he ripped out of the ceiling and pulled to the ground. The candles broke and lit the carpet which was soaked in alcohol instantly setting the room ablaze.

"Let's go!" The Rock said grabbing Vicky while Rey grabbed Dominic and Aaliyah from Dan and Charlotte who ran after them down the lobby as the hotel staff evacuated the Grand Wilshire.

"Are Aaliyah and Dominic still possessed?" Rocky asked Rey who looked at his children concerned.

"Yes, we have to find out what happened back there!" Rey replied and Rocky nodded.

"But we have to get out of L.A," he said.

"I say we go to Mexico where it's safe," Vicky said dragging her daughters along with her down the stairs as Charlotte and Dan got lost in the crowds of people scurrying to get out of the hotel.

"But what about DX, we have to warn them about the unholy trinity?" Rey-Rey said running towards the exit and spotting Vince and Shane McMahon just outside the hotel entrance grinding them all to a halt.

"Oh no!" Vicky, Rey and Rocky moaned knowing Vince and Shane were going to ask them where Stephanie was, "We gotta get out without them seeing us!" The Rock said.

"But how?" Rey said as Charlotte and Dan spotted them in the crowds exiting the hotel. As the guests tried to leave, Rocky and everyone tried to figure out how they were going to escape, luckily Ashley, Candice, Mickie James and Victoria already provided them with a distraction.

"Hello boys," the WWE Divas said seductively all at once getting the full attention of everyone in the hotel lobby.

"Whoa check it out they're getting naked!" Dan said and Charlotte snapped out of the spell, she tried to remember what had just happened and saw that not only was the sprinkler system on soaking her through and through, Carla was missing.

"Dan where's Carla?" she asked frantically but her husband didn't answer, "Dan!" she snapped shoving him angrily to get his attention hurting her hand as she did so. It was then that she realized that he had turned to stone as had all the men in the lobby.

"It's the Whore of Babylon - she's got the WWE Divas!" Shaul Guerrero cried out.

"Now's our chance, move!" The Rock yelled covering his eyes along with Rey's so they didn't turn to stone along with all the married men that had obviously been reading Playboy magazine. Vicky and the Guerreros guided the men towards Vince and Shane.

"Where's Stephanie?" Vince asked wondering what was going on inside.

"We'll explain later right now we have to get to Tijuana can we borrow your helicopter?" The Rock asked the Chairman who frowned concerned.

"Please tell me you didn't start a fire in there? I'd expect that kind of nonsense out of DX but not you Rocky you're better than that!" Vince said and Rocky grunted angrily.

"Vince please stop giving Shawn and Hunter such a hard time, they've given everything to the WWE, this McMadness has got to stop! Stephanie's out of her mind, she was drinking herself silly, maybe you should call of this whole death of DX thing you've got planned for Monday Night RAW,"

Shaul, Sherilyn and Kaylee Marie frowned at each other knowing they'd heard that somewhere before but it ended up in a war.

"Stephanie's happiness is all I care about now tell me what happened up there!" Vince demanded and Rocky sighed; it was pointless trying to reason with a madman unless he had long blond hair and was lead singer of a band named Fozzy.

"I'm sorry Vince we've got a demon to exorcise, now if you'll move you're candy ass just slightly to the left, we can be on our way," Rocky said and Vince looked at The Rock puzzled.

"Excuse me somebody called for an emergency pick up?" said a crane handler and Vince and Shane scratched their heads and suddenly found themselves being hoisted up by a crane.

"Hey get us down, Rocky you better not leave us hanging?" Vince demanded as Rocky, Rey, Vicky and the children climbed in a cab and drove away to LAX for the very next flight to Tijuana to perform and emergency exorcism on their innocent children. As they were leaving Ashley Massaro and John Cena arrived at the Beverly Wilshire wondering why all these men were turned to stone.

"I think I know what happened here, that stupid Whore of Babylon must have gotten freaky again," Cena said and Massaro touched her lips.

"Leave this to me," she said and she started to kiss all the men and the stone broke freeing each and everyone of them.

"Whoa how are you doing that?" Cena wondered amazed.

"I got the Kiss of Life from Torrie Wilson, it's a gift God gave Shawn Michaels when he became one of ATM's holy helpers," Ashley explained as she went to kiss Dan much to Charlotte relief.

"Shawn Michaels is so awesome, I couldn't imagine anyone deserving more to be WWE Champion than him," Charlotte said and Cena laughed.

"Whatever," he said and looked up noticing the feet dangling from the air and figured whatever reason Vince and Shane McMahon were being held up by a giant crane DX had something to do with it, "Where the Hell are those guys?" Cena wondered, apart from Ashley, he hadn't seen anyone on the WWE roster since yesterday and there was almost no news on Edge and Lita's wedding on Saturday. Sometimes he wondered if he had any friends in the WWE at all and figured he'd go pay his baby mother's ex-boyfriend a visit since he was the only Superstar still in L.A.

Undertaker's Ranch, Houston, TX:

Hunter, Joanie and LC stared at the ice sculpture that was The Undertaker; Hurricane Aurora went medieval on The Deadman letting loose a blizzard over his ranch that covered the land in ice and snow making Houston look more like Alaska right now. He was trapped and that's exactly how the Helmsleys wanted him. Hunter kissed his little girl and she giggled happily.

"Let me take this thing off your head," he said about to remove the yellow hat when LC told him not to.

"She likes it," she said.

"Yeah but its yellow and that's a cowardly color, the Helmsleys are brave and strong, right baby?" he asked Chyna who shuddered trying to keep warm.

"How should I know? I'm not your wife and Aurora isn't my baby," she said.

"Are you mad or just cold?" Hunter asked.

"I would say a bit of both," Chyna replied, "Hunter how are you gonna keep Aurora's powers under control? She started a hurricane because we woke her up there's no telling how much danger we could put people in if she gets in one of her moods again,"

Hunter and LC exchanged glances, they found Chyna's attitude to be quite uncool.

"You have a problem with Aurora's supernatural powers?" LC asked furrowing her brow in confusion.

"No I have a problem with everything that's going on right now, Jeff gave his life so that you could have yours and now we have to stand here and freeze to death, it doesn't seem like God gave Aurora these powers for good, otherwise she'd be able to make the sun come out and warm us up," Chyna said to Hunter.

"Who says she can't?" Hunter said and now Chyna was the one who was confused.

"You want to see Ro-Ro make the sun come out mom?" LC asked and Chyna nodded, "Leave it to me," she said and reached up for her baby sister, Hunter gave her to LC who started to sing Chyna's theme tune from the Attitude Era much to LC's delight. Chyna looked up and the sky began to clear and the sun came out and lit up the sky as Aurora Rose shook her rattle jubilantly while LC sang the lyrics to the famous WWF theme.

"She's got great taste in music," Hunter said hugging Chyna fondly resting his head on hers reflecting back to when he was just getting started in the business and he remembered hearing Who I Am the first time; it sounded even better with his own daughter singing it. The DX family were getting so into the music they forgot that ice melts and the sunshine that Aurora was making come out was melting Undertaker and by the time they noticed he was completely defrosted.

"The Deadman's alive!" LC cried out as Mark rolled his eyes in the back of his head and reached for Hunter's neck setting him up for what looked like a Choke Slam.

"Let him go!" Chyna yelled fighting Taker off he just snarled and pulled them both closer to him.

"You think you can have it all Hunter Hurst Helmsley, well there's something I want that you can never ever have and that's Shawn Michaels. I already took little Jeff Hardy's life for stepping out of line by siding with you two Degenerates, now I'm gonna take Shawn's for siding with you all those years ago,"

"You lay one hand on him and you're really gonna be a dead man!" Hunter snarled his neck constricting under Mark's fierce grip.

"You can't kill wants already dead!" The Undertaker spat and he choke-slammed both Hunter and Joanie to the ground. LC growled angrily as Undertaker grabbed Cameron and Cheyenne who were frozen in their tracks by his death glare, she ran after him as he threw them into the back of his Range Rover and jumped onto the back seat taking Hurricane Aurora with her.

"LC!" Chyna cried out.

"Aurora!" Hunter cried out but it was too late; LC, Aurora, Cam and Chey Michaels were on the Highway to Hell.

"Shawn is gonna kick my ass," Hunter sighed desperately as he looked down at Jeff Hardy's tombstone, erected by none other than the Deadman himself, "Get two coffins ready," Hunter said, because when Shawn found out he let Undertaker escape with his two children he was gonna need Jesus more than ever before.

"What the Hell is that?" Chyna said looking up at three shadowy figures in the sky, "those are the biggest birds I have ever seen!" she said gazing at the creatures that were circling around their heads. Hunter looked up and felt like he was on drugs; he was certain the figures circling above their heads were not human but demon; he was half right.

"Oh my God it's not a bird," he said, "and it's not a plane,"

"Well what is it?" Chyna asked as the three figures headed towards them.

"It's my ex-wife!" Hunter replied and Chyna wished she hadn't been so hard on Aurora, they could really use her supernatural powers around now as Stephanie, Chris Jericho and Carla B. Cool landed next to them, their eyes alight with electricity - all three of them.

"Greetings from Stamford, Connecticut," Stephanie McMahon said, her third eye locking on Chyna unnerving the Amazon and terrifying Hunter who immediately looked at Jericho who was looking as evil as he always did.

"What did you do to her Jericho?" Hunter said.

"I flew her to the moon junior, something you could never do," Jericho replied.

"You guys can do whatever the Hell you want with us but leave Carla out of this!" Chyna panicked on seeing her daughter possessed and having no say in what was happening to her.

"You have no business asking me to do anything!" Stephanie McMahon spat, "You've already taken everything away from me, now I have something of yours and I'm making her part of my family, two can play that game Chyna!" Stephanie declared as Jericho and Carla wrapped their arms around her lovingly.

"We are the unholy trinity and we are going to kill all three members of Degeneration X starting with you two," Carla said.

"Stephanie please don't do something you're going to regret for the rest of your life!" Chyna pleaded and Stephanie looked at Hunter and gnashed her teeth angrily.

"I already have made all the mistakes I'm ever going to make, now fry piggy!" Stephanie yelled and Jericho and Carla joined her sticking their hands in the air and caused lighting to come down and strike the ground creating an earthquake that separated the land. Hunter and Chyna screamed and fell in-between the layers of dirt, Stephanie, Jericho and Carla struck the ground with their hands and the earth closed around Chyna and Hunter burying them alive.

Stephanie smiled cruelly as Jericho kissed her cheek; she picked Carla up and hugged her lovingly to her chest.

"Who needs an Undertaker when you've got McMagic?" she said arrogantly and the unholy trinity laughed maliciously and took to the air to find the co-founder of DX and his precious angelic trio and their friends to finish what Vince, Shane and Linda had started in the name of the McMahon family.


	12. Life After Death

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece?

Chapter Twelve - Life After Death

Jeff Hardy looked up and wondered where he was, all he could see was this awesome light and a woman dressed in white with long black hair was walking towards him from it.

"Hey Jeffrey how you doing?" she said and Jeff felt like his heart was going to explode in his chest.

"Mom?" he said and the lady nodded.

"See I told you I'd see you again someday," she said.

Jeff came towards her in awe of what he was seeing, he reached out to touch his mother's hair and it was real, he could feel it between his fingers and she smiled as he touched her face: he was ecstatic.

"It's really you!" he cried and grabbed mother Hardy up in his arms and swung her around causing her to make the sweetest sound he ever heard.

"Jeff you're making me laugh," she said as he put her down, "It's usually Eddy that gets me going,"

Jeff did a double-take, "Eddy? As in Eddie Guerrero?" he asked dumbstruck and his mother nodded.

"Yeah he's always fooling around, him and Owen play the worst ribs up here," she explained and Jeff almost fainted, "Now that Rebecca's here I never get to talk with the King of Kings anymore,"

"Why doesn't he like ribs?" Jeff asked and blanched when he saw Jesus coming towards him, "Oh my Lord," Jeff said as the King of Kings approached him.

"That's what your mother said the first time she called me, I thought she was calling my Father so I just kept walking, I like to walk a lot," Jesus said and Jeff jumped up and down and started doing his little dance and Jesus gave his mother a smile, "You'd think after being killed he'd have less energy," he said and mother Hardy wiped a tear of joy away from her face.

"Mom why are you crying, aren't you happy I'm here with you?" Jeff asked hugging his mother who embraced him lovingly.

"No Jeff, I'm sad you're not staying," she replied, "Walk with me and Jesus, I want you to meet the others,"

Mom and son Hardy walked with Jesus and passed many angels who seemed to keep multiplying the more they walked, Jeff figured this was just because people where dying like he did.

"God's keeping the angels busy," mother Hardy said to Jesus who nodded.

"Its gonna be overkill when ATM disband," he said and Jeff raised his eyebrow curiously.

"You know Amy, Trish and Melina?" he asked Jesus.

"They're my favorite WWE Divas," he replied, "And I'm not really allowed to play favorites, Father said they'd be better up here we talked about it for hours then finally I said let's see how many they can save and they made my day when they saved Shawn and Hunter,"

"So ATM was you're idea?" Jeff asked Jesus.

"Yeah but my Father gets all the credit, I understand how Shane McMahon feels sometimes, its hard being your Father's Only Begotten Son," Jesus said.

"Enough!" roared a loud Voice and Jeff looked over at all the angels who were laughing.

"That was God," his mother explained, "He gets annoyed when Jesus talks about wrestling,"

"He can wipe out nations and I can't watch a man hit another man with a steel chair," Jesus complained and Jeff started to laugh.

"You're cool JC," Jeff said.

"I feel the same way about you, what you did for Hunter was awesome, you didn't have to give your life to save his but you did, you sacrificed yourself for your friends, that's what the Bible is all about Jeff, your brother's heart-broken so you have to go back for the wedding before he does something stupid," Jesus said.

"You mean commit suicide?" Jeff asked concerned and Jesus nodded.

"He's already lost his mother, how can he live without you?" Jesus said and Jeff's mother turned to her son and placed her hand on his shoulder.

"I love you Jeffrey but its not time for us to be together; that time will come and when it does I'll be right here waiting for you, until then, there's a few people who would like to say goodbye to you before you go back down to Earth," she said and Jeff looked ahead and saw Eddy Guerrero, Owen Hart and Rebecca Curci-Michaels looking at him.

"You were wearing that t-shirt the last time I saw you?" Eddy said and Jeff noticed the I'm Your Papi t-shirt Eddy was wearing.

"So were you," he replied and he ran over to Eddy and gave him a big hug.

"I'm so happy to see you man, I was hella pissed when you died I was in mourning for like weeks," Jeff said and Eddy patted him on the back and kissed his head.

"I know, everyone says the same-thing when they come up here, that's why you gotta go back vato," Eddy said and Owen nodded.

"I wish I could go back but the Almighty says I've served my purpose, He's a real hard-ass," Owen said, "Pretty much like my brother,"

Jeff laughed and looked over at Rebecca, Shawn Michaels' beautiful widow, "Heaven's done wonders for your complexion," he said allured by Rebecca's radiant beauty.

"I don't have to pay $100 for eye-liner up here, God is the only One I'm interested in pleasing these days," she said and her eyes softened, "Are you happy for them?" she asked and Jeff lowered his chin knowing who she was referring to and nodded.

"I am Rebecca, Shawn's an incredible man and Lita deserves to be happy for the first time in her entire life, she wasn't happy with my brother despite what he says Edge was no better and now, she can finally settle down and have kids with your husband: it's the circle of life," Jeff replied drawing an imaginary circle with his arms and Eddy and Owen laughed as Rebecca pouted.

"I'm having a hard time with this but I don't care about your opinion I only care about the Word of God and the Word of God says Shawn has every right to be happy, so I want you to give this to Amy, it will bless her," Rebecca removed a white gold cross from around her neck and gave it to Jeff and he took it mesmerized by its immaculate perfection, "Tell Shawn I'm sorry I couldn't be there but that I'll be watching from above and tell Lita Shawn likes it when you kiss his ear after sex, it makes him feel special,"

"He doesn't need to feel special, I tell him he's special every single day," Jesus says.

"Yeah but can you make him scream your name?" Rebecca asked.

"Yes," Jesus replied and God yelled at him, "That's not what she meant!" Jesus protested.

"Yes it was," Eddy said to Owen and Jeff started laughing.

"So when do I go back?" he asked his mom.

"On Saturday night, after the wedding," she said, "You can watch it up here with us, then Melina the Miraculous will bring you back to life and you can give your brother a big hug for me and tell him I'm alright and to find a girl that loves him as much as I do if not more,"

"Any suggestions as to who that girl might be?" Jeff asked Jesus who thought about it.

"I think he should give Ashley one more try, she's a kind and compassionate woman who deserves better than what she's got, tell him Jesus Christ said so, he'll believe you just drop my name," Jesus said and Eddy Guerrero rolled his eyes.

"Oooh look at me I'm Jesus I get to save lives and live forever in Heaven with my Papi!" Eddy teased and Jesus put him in a headlock.

"JESUS!" God yelled and the Heavens shook, Jesus let Eddy go and sighed.

"Forgive me Father for I have sinned, now let's go before He starts asking me to do chores," Jesus said and Jeff and Mother Hardy walked with him, Owen, Eddy and Rebecca in eternity while God waited for his angelic trio to complete their final mission before their Heavenly assignment was complete and they could get on with their lives.

Abelardo Rodriguez International Airport, Tijuana, Mexico, 5pm:

Kevin, Tamara and Tristen Nash rolled through the airport with Scott Hall, Sean Waltman and the rest of the TNA roster on hearing that Shawn and Lita were getting married, unfortunately Karen Curci, Rebecca's mom insisted on coming with them and being wheeled by Hernandez all the way to the exit while Konnan used his crutches to get around.

"One minute she's getting married to Edge, next minute she's getting married to Shawn, why can't women just fall in love with one man and be done with it? That's what my Becky did and she was the best wife that bastard son-in-law of mine will ever know!" she insisted and Sting rolled his eyes.

"Do you have to keep trashing Shawn? You've been on his case since we left Florida; if you don't pipe down I'll have you thrown in a Mexican prison!" Sting threatened.

"On what charges?" Karen asked stubbornly.

"Death by nagging," Homicide replied, "¡cierre su boca!/ shut your mouth!"

"Is he talking to me?" Karen asked Hernandez.

"Sting you take over, I've had enough of this woman," he said and Sting sighed and took over from the LAX big man.

"Who's singing at this wedding, Lillian Garcia?" Alex Shelley asked.

"Knowing Lita it'll be some rock band nobody's ever heard of," Jay Lethal said.

"Does Shawn like punk rock?" Alex Shelley asked Kevin Nash.

"He likes Shakira," he replied.

"That's not cool, Shakira sucks!" Christy Hemme protested and Gail Kim agreed with her.

"It's not her music he likes is it?" Leticia asked Tammy who laughed.

"Those hips don't lie but they certainly make me want to eat more," she replied.

"Shakira can't sing, they'd be better off having Britney Spears sing "I Wanna Love You Forever," Sonjay Dutt said.

"That was Jessica Simpson," Jay Lethal corrected him.

"Wait you know that song?" Chris Sabin asked disgusted.

"Shut up!" Double J cried angrily causing all the X Division stars to stop in their tracks, "I'm sick of all this talk about Shawn and Lita, what about me? Vince McMahon made me kiss his ass on national television, did ya'll forget about that?" he complained.

"Well yeah that was like two weeks ago JJ," Sonjay replied.

"I've been getting into this XBOX tournament online, I haven't really had time to focus on anything else," Sabin admitted.

"And I've been editing my latest Paparazzi Production featuring Shawn and Edge, it's called Riding Rated R and it's gonna be an Instant Gay Classic," Alex Shelley bragged and Sean gave Kevin and Scott a weary look.

"We're not seriously gonna let him air that on Impact tonight are we?" he asked the original members of the Kliq, "Shawn and Hunter just re-united the Kliq and DX are back together again, this video footage Alex has got of Shawn and Edge is gonna ruin everything fellas!"

"But the pictures of Shawn and Edge are already on the web and in Playgirl magazine, you think once Shawn finds out he's gonna be worried about some video footage getting out? He's gonna be too busy kicking Shelley's ass!" Kevin argued, "Where is that sexy sonofabitch, we have to tell him what's going on,"

"And give him our sacred sex tips," Scott Hall added.

"Of course," XPac and Nash said together and Tamara rolled her eyes.

"I gotta find Trish before these idiots ruin Lita's big day," she said flipping her cell-phone out.

"Hey I've got one of those in pink!" came the oh-so-familiar voice of Britney Spears.

"Oh no its you, look Shawn's not interested in you woman I don't know what Rocky was thinking when he suggested you try and hook up with him," Tamara said and looked around for her son, "Is Sean Preston with you, Tristen really misses him," she asked Britney who gulped nervously and Tamara picked up that something was wrong.

"I kind of left him in L.A," Britney confessed.

"What do you mean where the Hell is he?" Kevin Nash asked her annoyed.

"Well I got so excited I forgot to take him with me when I went to North Carolina, you see me and Torrie were in a race to see who could marry Shawn first and it turns out we're not marriage material," Britney said defeated and the Kliq laughed.

"You thought you could be the next Mrs. HBK?" XPac asked incredulously.

"Yeah I know I've totally lost my mind after breaking up with K-Fed, I'm here to wish him and Lita good luck, I guess marriage is not something you can just jump into," Britney said and the Kliq gave her a look like she was the dumbest blond on the planet even though she didn't have any hair.

"Where's your son now?" Leticia asked Britney as the wrestlers moved through customs.

"He's with Torrie, she said she wanted to keep him a bit longer, I don't know her or anything but I'd never leave my son with anyone unless I had a really good feeling about them," Britney said.

"And you call me a dumb blond," Leticia said to Alex Shelley who laughed while putting his Shelley Cam through the security machine. The machine made a loud beep and the security guys stopped everything else from going through.

"Soy sir apesadumbrado pero estoy asustado que vamos a tener que destruir esto," the guard said and Alex looked at Konnan who along with the other members of LAX started to laugh at what was about to happen.

"What did he say?" he asked the LAX mouthpiece.

"I'm sorry sir but I'm afraid we're going to have to destroy this," Konnan said and Alex gasped as two guards took his camcorder into a room and something exploded: it was his Shelley Cam.

"NO!" he cried and jumped through the guards into the small room but all he saw was a burning camera, he didn't even hear the door close behind him, "Hey let me out!" he cried but the guards shrugged and laughed at him.

"Is he under arrest?" Kevin Nash asked one of the guards who nodded that Alex had violated Mexican law by bringing in a camera from the U.S, "Here's one hundred American dollars, call him a cab to the Camino Real after he's done pissing his pants," Nash said handing the burly guard the crisp dollar bills, the guard was wearing a Wolfpac t shirt and doing right by the Kliq was in the New World Order bylaws and it was something Nash, Hall and Waltman had grown accustomed to over the years, it amazed them how much they were loved all over the world.

"Is he gonna be okay?" Sonjay asked Nash who nodded.

"He'll be fine, I think you should nix this whole thing Jarrett I want you to take care of Vince McMahon on your own time, this wedding has nothing to do with the WWE," Nash told the founding member of the Kings of Wrestling.

"That's right JJ, this wedding is about our boy finally being happy after all the years of being married to Kevin's soul mate, he's finally gonna marry his fantasy woman," Hall echoed and Britney Spears frowned.

"Shawn's fantasy woman is Lita?" she asked unconvinced.

"Why are you in the conversation this is a wrestling thing, if you really wanna help go find Shakira, I want her to sing at the wedding," Tamara Nash told Britney.

"Shakira's got an awful voice!" Britney argued, "I can sing better than her,"

Britney burst into a chorus of "Hit Me Baby One More Time" causing all the TNA wrestlers to cover their ears.

"Hey Jarrett can I look at that?" Karen Curci asked pointing to Double J's blue guitar.

"Sure," Jarrett said handing it to Shawn's mother-in-law and she whacked Britney Spears over the head with it knocking her down in one full swipe.

"That's better," she said, "Can we leave her here with the rest of the bottom rung of society?"

"I'm sure these Wolfpackers wouldn't mind taking her to the best medical facility Mexico has to offer," Scott Hall said to the security guards with the Wolfpac t shirts who nodded and picked Britney Spears up and carried her over to the First Aid room.

"Hey that's where I had my kidney surgery," Konnan yelled and Karen Curci turned up her nose.

"You seriously need to change promotions," she said feeling sorry for him and Konnan was enraged by the fact that she had actually believed him.

"I want this bitch outta my wheelchair by the time we get to the hotel, why are you even in it? The sting of Cameron's Sweet Chin Music must have worn off by now," he argued indignantly.

"Oh sure you're all talk, this side of the border," she continued insulting Konnan even more and the founder of LAX was about to grab her out of his wheelchair when a loud roar echoed through the airport getting everyone's attention…

"That was a tremor, like just before an earthquake," Christy Hemme said.

"An Earthquake, in Mexico? That can't be!" Kevin Nash said, just as he said that the ground started to crack and big wedges formed separating land from land all around Tijuana.

"Oh my God what's going on?" Double J panicked as everyone ran for the safest point.

"Stephanie McMahon's lost her mind that's what's going on," came the cool voice of Carlito El Con Dios who appeared with TKO, Nitro and Shelton Benjamin.

"What's Stephanie McMahon got to do with this?" Tamara Nash asked in her husband's arms.

"She's made an unholy covenant with Jericho and Carla B. Cool; they're trying to kill DX - for real this time, they've already buried Hunter and Chyna alive in the earth, they're trying to kill Shawn Michaels but ATM won't let them," Randy Orton explained.

"Does Vince know about this?" Kurt Angle asked as Leticia jumped on his back off the ground and Christy, Gail Kim and So Cal Val did the same only on Abyss who didn't seem to mind having three beautiful women climbing on top of him, Sting was extremely jealous and took his frustration out on Samoa Joe by climbing on top of him.

"Vince is hanging from a crane in Los Angeles, he has no idea what's going on," The King's Oracle explained.

"Well maybe we should get him here so he can talk some sense into his crazy daughter before she kills my best friends!" Sean Waltman cried worriedly, he knew Stephanie was upset about DX re-uniting but this was taking things too far.

"Is she actually causing this earthquake?" Sting asked as Christian tried to support his weight by using Rhino as leverage as the floor continued to crack beneath them.

"Yes and the angrier she gets the more powerful she gets," Nitro said trying to keep his balance.

"Where is she getting this power from?" AJ Styles asked reaching out to Christopher Daniels who wanted to be left alone, "Come on Chris get up here before you fall!" AJ shouted but Daniels shushed him, "Don't shush me!"

"Shut up AJ, I'm trying to channel the devil," Chris answered and everyone looked at him like he was the anti-Christ.

"And why on Earth would you want to do that?" El Con Dios asked in disgust.

"To stop the Earthquake, d'uh!" Christopher Daniels replied, "It's obvious that Stephanie and Jericho have made a deal with him to kill DX,"

"So you're gonna try and talk him out of it?" AJ asked incredulously, "You know Chris you really take this Fallen Angel thing too seriously,"

"Yeah thanks for trying to help but I think we'll let God handle this one," Carlito interjected firmly and Daniels gave him a weary look.

"You don't get one without the other my friend and the devil ain't nuthin but a man without a home, all he needs is a sacrifice and then he'll give up," he explained.

"But Jeff Hardy already gave his life so Hunter could live!" Shelton cried.

"That wasn't a satanic sacrifice it was a heavenly sacrifice, the devil wants the blood of one of his worshippers not the blood of the holy and pure," Daniels explained and AJ Styles jumped down and pushed Chris into one of the gaps that had formed, Chris held his balance and shoved AJ down enraged by his actions, "What are you doing I ain't gonna be the sacrifice I've got too much to live for!"

"Then who else can we use?" Christy Hemme asked and everyone looked at Abyss who shook his head and ran away from everyone.

"Preferably it should be someone who's already dead," Daniels answered, "Like The Undertaker,"

"He'd be perfect but he's a little busy trying to kill me!" came a familiar voice and everyone turned to see Shawn Michaels running away from The Deadman who was being chased by ATM, LC, Cameron and Cheyenne Michaels.

"Shawnie up here!" called Nash who pulled HBK up onto the reservation desk as a massive crack separated the WWE Superstars and the TNA wrestlers from The Deadman and ATM.

"Kids!" Shawn called out to his children.

"Don't worry Shawn we'll take care of them won't we Ro-Ro?" LC asked her baby sister who blew a raspberry at The Deadman but the icy bubbles she formed just evaporated in the heat, "Okay we're officially in trouble," LC said as Aurora fell asleep, "Great now she gets tired,"

"Don't worry LC we've got this!" Melina called back to The Cerebral Assassin's warrior princess.

"Nowhere to go now Taker," Lita said, "Repent or die!"

"Never!" The Deadman said and a surge of lava spurted up between them smoldering the ground causing everyone to fear for ATM but they weren't scared; they knew where they were going after death and it wasn't as hot as Tijuana was right about now.

"See you in Hell Deadman!" Trish cried and Lita hit him with a Litacanrana sending him straight into the molten lava in screams of bone-chilling agony. The Earth quit trembling and pulled back together, everyone took a deep breath and stepped back down onto the ground.

"The devil has his sacrifice now all is well with the universe," Christopher Daniels said making his trademark pose and Sting frowned.

"You really bug me," he said climbing down off of Samoa Joe who sat in Konnan's wheelchair and asked the leader of LAX to wheel him around for the rest of the day and Konnan cursed furiously in Spanish.

"Um since when do we take instructions from a guy called the Fallen Angel?" Trish Stratus said, "Hunter and Chyna are in there with him, we have to get them out before they die too!"

Lita looked at Melina who looked at Trish who looked at Shawn who looked confused, "What are you saying you're gonna go in there after them?" he asked in disbelief.

"It's what we were called to do, this is our final mission before we disband," Lita said and Shawn's heart began to thump loudly in his chest, he stepped over to them and shook his head in protest.

"You can't go in there its too dangerous, what if you suffocate?" he asked anxious not to lose another woman before he retired from the WWE, he wanted to have someone to share the rest of his life with not another grave to cry over.

"With our powers combined, the devil can't touch us, we'll be back in no time, then you and Lita can go on your first date," Trish assured him confidently and Shawn couldn't help but smile as his future wife blushed.

"I saw this dress that I think would look really nice on you when I was walking through the hotel lobby," he told her affectionately turning his foot shyly left and right and the guys turned their heads away so he didn't see them laugh at how gay for Lita he was right now.

"I'm sure its lovely, but I'm not really into dresses," Lita said and Trish looked at her watch impatiently.

"Well I'll buy it for you anyway, you can always send it back if it doesn't fit," Shawn said.

"Why wouldn't it fit what size was it?" Lita asked and Trish let out a huge sigh getting really pissed off with them both; Melina loved every minute of it, listening to Shawn and Lita talk was like watching a rose blossom.

"About a 36DD - I mean . . . oh shit!" Shawn cursed himself when he realized that he'd been staring at Lita's boobs the whole time she was talking.

"I think we better be going," Melina said ushering Lita away before Trish switched on her and HBK who was getting chewed out by his mother-in-law for his lewd comment, "Leave the dress shopping to us," she said and Shawn nodded going as red as Lita's hair; the Queen of Xtreme took it as a compliment.

"See you real soon," she told him and Shawn blew her a kiss which Lita caught and put in her army pants pocket. She took Trish and Melina's hands and together they prayed for God to shield them as they entered the devil's underworld to save a dear and very special friend, his true love Chyna and bring them back in time to take care of Hunter's crazy-ass ex-wife and two equally crazy Canucks.


	13. South of Heaven

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece?

Chapter Thirteen - South of Heaven

Penthouse Suite, Grand Wilshire Hotel, Beverly Hills, Los Angeles, 6pm

The earthquake in Tijuana was reported all over America, the media covered it all night and Vince and Shane were forced to watch their WWE Superstars brave it from the comfort of the Grand Wilshire, Beverly Hills.

"This is awful," Shane said to Vince taking a sip of his father's scotch before handing it back to his old man, "Who woulda thought there'd be an earthquake in Tijuana? There hasn't been a scare there since 2004, I remember because that was the year Cheyenne was born and I told Shawn Rebecca looked better when she had Cameron and he punched me in the mouth,"

Vince laughed, "I thought Hunter punched you? I remember packing your face with gauge," he said and Shane rolled his eyes.

"The point is I think DX has something to do with this, whenever something weird happens Shawn and Hunter are always involved, I mean think back to this entire year, it's been nothing but chaos and its all because Hunter, Shawn and Chyna are back together, we gotta do something about this Dad before my sister goes completely insane!"

"Don't worry about Stephanie, insanity does not run in the McMahon family we're a cool, calm and collected family and no punk white trash faction from the Attitude Era is gonna stop us from taking the WWE into the 21st century!" Vince declared, "Linda where's that precious baby girl of ours, we haven't seen her in hours?" he asked his wife as she returned to their penthouse suite after talking with emergency services in Tijuana to find out if any of the WWE Superstars were hurt, they didn't care about the TNA wrestlers.

"She's not there its just Shawn, Rocky, Carlito, Randy, Shelton Benjamin, Johnny Nitro and Cryme Tyme," she answered.

"Where the Hell is Ric Flair, Torrie Wilson and the Smackdown roster? We're supposed to be in California until tomorrow and the Superstars are scattered all over the place!" Vince said agitated and started pacing the floor anxiously, "This has happened before, remember when the roster got infected with that mysterious flu virus and they ended up in TNA? Jeff Jarrett must be up to his old tricks again, I bet he knows where my precious baby girl is, come on Shane!" Vince said knocking back the last drops of Scotch and grabbing his dress jacket and Shane followed him out the door.

"Where we going Pop?" he asked his Dad curiously following behind him as he marched down the lobby to the elevator.

"To Florida, TNA are not gonna make fools out of us again, this time we've got their number ha-ha!" Vince said triumphantly.

"You sounded like Double J when you said that, HA-HA!" Shane said whimsically and Vince agreed; Dixie Carter was in for a rude awakening and Linda decided to accompany them in case they needed someone to show the owner of TNA some southern hospitality of which Mrs. McMahon had plenty.

Meanwhile in a jail cell in Downtown L.A . . .

John Cena was paying CM Punk a visit but it didn't go down well with the Straight Edge hi-flyer from Chi Town.

"What are you doing here?" Punk asked angrily getting to his feet grabbing the cell bars as The Champ came nearer with great animosity.

"Easy Phil I just came to bail your ass outta here," Cena said throwing his hands up innocently.

"Why what do you want in return that you haven't already taken?" Punk replied bitterly screwing up his face with distrust, "You've got my girl, you killed my unborn child,"

"That was an accident!" Cena shouted.

"No it wasn't!" Punk countered, "It was deliberate; you wanted me to suffer because Maria broke your heart when we got back together didn't she? Didn't she?" he demanded and Cena got hot.

"Alright she did I admit it but we're cool now, she hates me and I hate her, she's all yours again just let me do the right thing and drop the charges so you can raise that baby she's carrying with two parents instead of one," Cena pleaded feeling bad that Maria was a single mother.

"No," Punk said and Cena was shocked by his stubbornness.

"Come on man you're being unreasonable, don't stay in here to spite me you've got a beautiful woman out there somewhere waiting for you to marry her!" Cena argued not understanding what the problem was, so Punk clarified his position.

"That's not my baby she's carrying, its yours, you raise it!" he said and Cena felt the color drain from his face, that was exactly what Melina the Miraculous said.

"I can't be a father Punk I'm not ready to settle down," Cena said and Punk shook his head.

"You should have thought about that before you stole her from me," he replied simply, "I love Maria and I'll always love her but she chose you over me in a moment of passion and conceived a child, you killed mine and now you're gonna raise the one that survived. Being a real champion means knowing what battles to fight, this is a battle I am willing to lose, you won Maria's love fair and square, I wash my hands of the both of you, good luck raising your firstborn child John, its gonna be worth more than that belt you're always carrying around,"

Cena couldn't believe it; CM Punk was actually being sincere he thought Cena could be a good father even after everything that had happened he thought he would have leapt at the chance to raise a family with his true love but he wasn't even upset that he was in jail while the WWE Superstars were living it up in L.A and goodness knows where else.

"So aren't you gonna bail me out?" Punk said suddenly and Cena laughed.

"Oh I get it, you were just joshing me right? You really do want to raise this child with Maria don't cha?" he said thinking the whole speech was just a rib, it wasn't.

"No John I'm serious, I don't want any part of Maria's life I simply want to get the Hell out of here so I can catch the next flight to Tijuana and check on my boys Homicide and Samoa Joe, there's a freaking earthquake there!" he said and Cena gasped.

"Do you think it will hit L.A too, I mean we're pretty close to the Baja and the radio said something about emergency evacuations taking place south of the border," Cena said as the guard let Punk out and escort them both to the check out desk.

"You boys better get out of here there's an earthquake heading this way," the officer said as Punk signed out taking his belongings with him.

"Shit we better find Vince and tell him we're safe," Cena said pulling out his cell-phone as they left the precinct feeling the earth move beneath their feet, "Yo Vince its Cena - hey what are you doing?" Cena cried as Punk knocked the cell-phone out of his hand.

"We can't call the boss everytime we get in trouble, you're from the streets you gotta take care of business yourself! If Vince finds out we're still in L.A I won't be able to go to Tijuana and find my boys will I?" Punk explained and Cena nodded.

"Maria could be there too, I wonder if Ashley's left already she'd know where Maria is, I'll call her real quick," Cena said snatching back his cell-phone and dialing Massaro's number, "Yo Ashley where you at?" he asked as the Playboy cover girl answered.

"I'm at the Beverly Wilshire, there's an earthquake about to hit L.A. in the next ten minutes Layla, Kelly Kelly and Brooke are with me and we're getting the Hell outta here where are you?" she asked getting into a cab with the ECW Divas.

"I'm with Punk I bailed him outta jail and dropped the charges against him, we're going to Mexico meet us at LAX in ten minutes," Cena said getting into his Jeep with Punk and heading for the airport.

"Why Mexico that's where the earthquake started?" Ashley asked confused.

"Punk wants to make sure his friends are okay, they're there aswell," Cena explained.

"So what's that got to do with you, you're WWE not ROH," Ashley asked not buying Cena's reasons for leaving America, "Is this about Maria and Punk? Are they getting back together?" Ashley asked excitedly and the phone line went quiet.

"No they're not; Ashley I've decided to give this whole family thing a try, I'm getting back with Maria and I'm gonna ask her to marry me," Cena confessed and Ashley went white and Punk hit his head, "What?" Cena asked him.

"Isn't Ashley that Whore of Babylon that's been turning all the married men who read Playboy to stone?" Punk asked Cena who nodded.

"How'd you know about that?" Cena asked.

"Nevermind how I know, you just told the woman who you've been seeing that you're getting back together with the hottest babe in the WWE, if that doesn't make a woman go medieval on all mankind nothing will!" Punk said and Cena gulped and heard Layla ask Kelly and Brooke what was wrong with Ashley and then it hit them: a huge tremor shook L.A. from left-to-right, sending people flying and scouring for cover.

"Look out!" Punk called out as Cena's Jeep hit a huge crack and he broke before they both fell into it. They looked over the windshield and saw volcanic larva, the center of the earth was gaping open and they were only two steps from it.

"God help us," Cena said and Punk said a prayer hoping angels were being dispatched from Heaven to save them right now; they didn't know three angelic beings were handling things at that exact moments several layers below the Earth's crust in the devil's underworld where the damned were tormented night and day with no escape or chance of forgiveness: ATM were in Hell and Undertaker, Hunter and Chyna were in there with them.

"What was that for?" Hunter cried hanging onto a rock while the devil tormented Undertaker for betraying him to these "Christians".

"Shut up or you'll burn!" the father of lies said and Lita smirked.

"Don't try and copy me Lita I invented that smirk," Hunter said and Trish sighed; it was only by the grace of God that Hunter was getting into Heaven, if it wasn't for Jeff Hardy this would be his place of residence forever she wished he'd show a little humility in the face of eternal damnation but no, he had to run his mouth off to Lita even in Hell!

"Hunter hold on before you fall, this is serious not an opportunity to cut another one of your dull ass promos," Trish said.

"Look just leave Hunter alone and do your job Stratus," Chyna said in defense of her true love and Trish was the one now smirking.

"God I missed you Joanie," she said and covered her mouth when she realized the Truth came out and Chyna gasped.

"So you do like me, after all these years I thought you hated me I knew you were just pretending so Stephanie didn't fire you too," Chyna said and Hunter started to take off his sweater.

"What are you doing?" Melina asked.

"This is the hottest place I've ever been, what better way to even out my tan its already fading, those new tanning beds Vince bought are bullshit man," Hunter replied and Chyna laughed.

"The only reason why you two are laughing is because you think ATM are gonna get you out of here," said the demon of death with his ungodly voice, "Well guess what? They're not getting out of here and neither are you!"

Lita, Trish and Melina looked at each other, held hands and prayed from the Book of Matthew 4:10,

"_Then Jesus said to him, "Away with you, Satan! For it is written, 'You shall worship the Lord your God, and Him only you shall serve.' Then the devil left Him, and behold, angels came and ministered to Him,"_

"We are the angelic trio who work for the King of Kings and we report to Him not you," Trish said.

"Our job is to protect the innocent and shepherd the weak through the valley of darkness," Melina said.

"And we're gonna do that by getting Hunter, Joanie and Mark outta here before we destroy you," Lita said, "If you want you can come with us and end this war between Heaven and Hell forever, or you can stay here stewing in your own condemnation for all eternity, the choice is yours,"

"Wait your saving Mark too? He threatened my best friend he can't come back to Earth he belongs here!" Hunter protested.

"You threathen Shawn to this day, who are you to condemn anyone to Hell for controlling their best friend?" the devil said and Hunter gulped.

"Maybe I do belong here," he said and Lita panicked.

"You belong here satan, making Hunter believe he deserves to be persecuted rather than forgiven for his sinful lifestyle is what you do best, I am the answer to the prayers of every man or woman who's ever thought they klnew what was best for their friends, we're all working for one man and his name is Jesus Christ our Savior, now bow to the real King of Kings or DIE WHERE YOU STAND!" Lita declared and the earth stood still.

"What's going on?" Joanie asked Hunter who watched as Lita's hair rose in bright red flames, Trish's hands were high in the air along with Melina's and this huge beam of light came down from the Heavens and shone on the devil's underworld lair. Hunter, Joanie and Taker watched in awe as the beam burnt the devil so badly they turned away in horror, it was truly the most horrific thing their human eyes had ever seen and they understood for the first time why Hell was a very bad place to be and none of them wanted to come back ever again. When the light disappeared, they said the Lord's Prayer and a Voice came and said this:

Children of God you have been saved by the Blood of My Son Jesus Christ who has pardoned you Hunter, you Joanie and you Mark from eternal damnation in exchange for the life of Jeff Hardy. This warrior son will be returned to his brother and friends in due time, right now I want you to bless My Holy Name in reverence for everything My Son and I have done for you.

Amy, Trish and Lita looked over at Hunter, Joanie and Mark who were staring at them like they had wings or something, then they realized they did.

"Lita you're an angel!" Melina cried out touching her sister in Christ.

"So are you!" Trish cried out touching Melina as Lita observed them both with a sober glance.

"They're not wings, God's just making us see what they see, it's a manifestation of their imagination," she said and Trish and Melina turned to Hunter, Chyna and Undertaker, "So they don't give the game away, they're not ready to see the real thing, they will be some day," Lita explained and God continued.

That's why I anointed you above all Amy Dumas, you're wise beyond your years and you have a heart bigger than all Texas, that's why I want you to be with my favorite wrestler St. Michaels, but you still have a choice to make.

"I do?" Lita asked confused.

"She does?" Trish said equally confused, "I thought You said Shawn and Lita were going to get married?"

I told you all you needed to know Trish not all I know there's a difference, I don't know what it is with you angelic beings you get a little anointing and suddenly you know more than Me, here's a Holy newsflash: my beloved Anointed Amy is still holding a candle for Adam Copeland, until she is fully persuaded that Shawn Michaels is her true love she will not believe I have delivered her from her past life of sin and into a new life of infinite blessings unlimited.

Hunter, Chyna and Undertaker were now back on the Earth's surface but ATM were surrounded by a huge light and they couldn't look straight at it even though Hunter put on his sunglasses and gave it his best shot.

"What the Hell do you see in him Joanie?" Undertaker asked the former Women's Champion.

"A friend, a lover and the best thing that ever happened to me," she replied and Undertaker said nothing, he had nothing left to say, except to Shawn and Jeff, they were all going to have to sit down and talk this thing out so they could put the past behind them once and for all and get on with their lives. It wasn't going to be easy, but nothing in life was for The Deadman.

"So what now do I tell Shawn I need more time?" Lita asked God and Trish rebuked her.

"Don't ask the Father what you're supposed to do, you know what you're supposed to do, choose Shawn and get on with your life," Trish said.

"But she's still in love with Edge she can't get married to anyone else until she's completely over him," Melina protested and ATM argued back and forth over what God had imparted to them while Jeff Hardy, his mother, Rebecca, Eddy Guerrero and Owen Hart listened from above.

"Wow this is exciting, what's Lita gonna do?" Jeff wondered.

"I bet He knows," Eddy said looking at Jesus who smiled.

"My Father created the Earth you think He's gonna tell me who Lita's gonna end up with and spoil His big finish?" He said.

"I guess we'll have to wait and see then," Mother Hardy said.

"Your Father's got this whole thing worked out though right? Lita is going to make the right decision isn't she?" Jeff asked concerned for his dear friend of many years and Jesus nodded.

"God should write for the WWE, their writers have no idea how to make a storyline work," Owen Hart complained, "I mean they turned my death into a tasteful tribute show and they turned your death into a World Heavyweight Championship victory at Wrestlemania 22 for Rey Mysterio, I'm not even in the Hall of Fame!"

"This place ain't big enough for the two of us Holmes, you gonna have to move into the next realm," Eddy laughed and Owen put him in a headlock while everyone else watched Lita wrestle with her emotions; once again she found herself caught in a love triangle she didn't want but somehow God kept putting her in them and someone's heart was going to be broken yet again, only this time it wasn't Matt Hardy's, it was the heart of the man she truly loved.


	14. Confessions of a Showstoppa

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece?

Chapter Fourteen - Confessions of a Showstoppa

In the small church Rey Mysterio first wrestled in stood DX, their children and the rosters of the WWE and TNA, as the sun went down on Tijuana in the aftermath of the earthquake the wrestlers watched with amazement as Carlito El Con Dios exorcised the demons that had possessed the souls of Aaliyah and Dominic Mysterio with his holy water power; Carlito stepped into the baptism pool and cleansed it with the Holy Spirit which once on Rey-Rey's children chased the demon away and back into the depths of Hell. The experience left the children scared and disorientated but HBK calmed them down with his Kiss of Life, after that Aaliyah and Dominic were back to being happy children and ran outside to play with the Guerrero sisters, LC and Aurora Rose Helmsley, Cheyenne and Cameron Michaels.

"Thank you Carlito, I hope I can do the same for your kids if you can get Trish to keep her skirt on," Rey said and Trish shook off his comment knowing that Rey always wanted her to hook up with Rocky.

"That's fine Rey keep running your mouth, I might just run mine and tell your wife what really happened between you and Vicky while Eddy was in rehab," she said and Rey kissed her hand and apologized, "You better suck up to me like everyone else because I know everything about you guys,"

"Do you know where the unholy trinity is?" Rocky asked his ex-girlfriend and Trish pointed to the ceiling of the church, to everyone's horror there were Stephanie, Jericho and Carla, B Cool floating above their heads watching them like vampire bats.

"When were you going to tell us they were up there?" Jeff Jarrett asked Trish.

"As soon as Rocky asked me," Trish replied.

"You're some piece of work Stratus, first you break up Edge and Lita's wedding now you get us killed in a church in the middle of Tijuana," Judy Copeland said bitterly and Lita's mom rolled her eyes.

"Judy for the last time, Edge and Lita are not getting married, my daughter's in love with Shawn Michaels," Mrs. Dumas said. "Even though she doesn't know it yet,"

"That's bull-crap!" said the most unwelcome of people: Lita's dad, Mr. Dumas, he had escaped from the McMahon's motor yacht DX hijacked and found his way to Mexico along with Ric Flair, Torrie Wilson and the Bookahs.

Randy sighed in frustration, "I thought I told you to stay in NC and wait for Hunter and Joanie?" he said.

"What's the difference we're here now?" Flair responded.

"We didn't know if you guys were safe after that earthquake so we decided to make sure," Torrie said and Trish rolled her eyes.

"Humans, oye!" she said like a Jewish mother and Flair, King and Queen Bookah and Torrie looked at her confused.

"There is a reason why God dispatches angelic beings to help you people, hand me the picture Randy," Trish said to TKO who frowned at her.

"Please?" he said and Trish just snatched it out of his hand and held it up for Flair, Torrie and The Bookahs to see.

"Uh-oh," King Bookah said and Rey Mysterio looked at the picture too.

"Is that Edge lighting this church on fire?" he asked and Trish nodded.

"See she never tells us anything until it's too late!" Mrs. Copeland said annoyed by Trish's Truth-telling abilities and everyone looked at her darkly.

"It's your son that's going to come here and burn this place down not mine; he can't stand the idea of Lita being happy unless it's with him!" Mrs. Dumas snapped.

"I say she stay single for the rest of her life, what man in their right mind would waste their time, money and love on my trampy daughter?" he said and a rush a warm air rose up from the back of the building, when everyone turned around they saw Lita standing with Edge arm-in-arm.

"I would," Edge replied and everyone watched as he strolled towards them confidently with Lita by his side and Bret Hart behind them.

"Your wasting your time Edge, Lita is not in love with you anymore and to be honest she never really was," Matt Hardy said eating a bag of Skittles from the box he jacked from the convenience store in Houston before Hurricane Aurora tore the place apart.

"So the wedding goes ahead as planned?" Christian said.

"Yes," Edge said and Shawn felt his roots pulling at his scalp, when he turned around he saw Undertaker dragging him to the back of the church.

"What are you doing Deadman?" Shawn asked frantically.

"Saving your life," Undertaker replied, Shawn turned to run back into the church when he saw Hunter, Joanie and the rest of the Kliq surrounding him.

"Stephanie was about to kill you, so I told Mark to drag you out of there and back here in the confessional because well, we have a lot to get off our chest," Hunter explained and Shawn rolled his eyes.

"Hunter I'm glad you're okay I really am, I don't appreciate you letting Mark run off with Cam and Chey while you got your tan on in Hell but," Shawn started sarcastically then Chyna cut him off.

"Stephanie, Jericho and my daughter are Hell bent on revenge for DX re-uniting, don't make us change our minds and hand you over to them on a church collection plate," she said and HBK got hot.

"Excuse me but do I get to live my own life or do you guys plan on controlling me forever?" he said angrily.

"What's the supposed to mean?" Kevin Nash said.

"Edge is about to destroy this church and I'm in here getting a lecture from you guys instead of saving it, this was the church Rey Mysterio used to wrestle in when he was a kid guys, its more than a building its where legends are made, so if you'll excuse me," Shawn said about to leave when Undertaker stopped him in his tracks.

"Shawn Lita told me to drag you back here," Undertaker said and Shawn froze.

"What?" he said in disbelief.

"She doesn't want to marry you, she's staying with Edge and the wedding's going ahead in Toronto as planned, if you knew you'd try to talk her out of it and get burnt up in the process making Stephanie McMahon extremely happy," Undertaker explained and the Kliq looked away as Shawn began to cry, "It was all in the picture Randy showed us, she thought it would be easier coming from the people who know you best,"

"She doesn't want to marry me?" he said and Undertaker comforted him by putting a strong hand on Shawn's shoulder and squeezing it tightly.

"She's just not that into you," he said and the tears fell in streams as Shawn took in this devastating news with extreme difficulty.

"But I love her," he said and Hunter's ears pricked up.

"What did you just say?" he said astonished by what Shawn just said.

"You were right Hunter, you were right all along, I am crazy about this woman and I've been lying to myself for years trying to be the perfect husband, telling Rebecca I never thought about her outside of work when I did - I thought about her all the time, I think I might have even moaned her name while Becky and I were in bed! But I didn't think it was love I thought it was just a li'l crush!" Shawn confessed.

"I KNEW IT!" roared an angry female voice but no-one could see where it came from.

"Whoa who was that it sounded like Rebecca?" XPac said and it was; Rebecca appeared to them as a vision with Eddy Guerrero who had his mouth over hers with his trademark grin plastered across his face.

"What up Holmes?" he said to the Kliq who ran out of the confessional screaming except Shawn whose jaw was now stuck to the floor.

"Eddie's alive!" Hunter screamed as they ran back out into the sanctuary of the church.

"My Eddy?" Vickie Guerrero said and Rey Mysterio looked at Chris Benoit who made the "cuckoo" sign with his fingers thinking that Hunter wasn't much different from his crazy ex-wife and her new Canadian family who everyone was throwing things at trying to get them off of the ceiling of the church.

"No way Eddy's alive in our hearts but he's dead and gone, Hunter's just been drinking holy water out of the vestibule again," Chris Benoit assured Vicky until Eddy and Rebecca came out to greet him with Shawn and the Undertaker.

"EDDIE!" Everyone cried.

"I knew this was gonna happen," Trish said angrily and everyone scowled at her, "You know I could have taken care of this Jesus, you didn't have to send the dearly departed to help us out!" she said angrily and Melina knocked her on the arm and told her to watch her mouth before God smote her.

"I asked God if I could come down and intercede on Lita's behalf," Eddy said and nodded towards Rebecca, "Mamacita's got a lot to say g'head mama,"

"I thought I was your mama Eduardo?" Vicky Guerrero said on her knees looking up at the apparition with Stephanie, Jericho and Carla B. Cool who where still on the church ceiling looking down at the wrestlers who were crying for some reason.

"What's happening?" Stephanie said as her third eye began to disappear and she started to come down to the floor with Jericho and Carla whose third eyes were also disappearing.

"The spell is breaking, God must have sent Rebecca and Eddie here to stop us," Jericho said, "They show what true love is all about, we're trying to destroy DX but they'll never die with angels looking out for them, I guess we better call it a day Princess,"

Stephanie, Jericho and Carla landed on the floor back to their normal selves and were about to apologize to DX when Carlito threw them into the baptism pool and began to cleanse their souls as Melina prayed for their deliverance from evil and healed their broken hearts.

"May you two find the peace in love that you could never find in life, I bless you in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost," she said as Carlito held them under the water for awhile, when they came up out of it they were radiant with life and they actually looked like a happy couple.

"One down, one more to go," Carlito said to Melina who nodded and looked over at Edge and Lita who were clinging to each other like Siamese Twins.

"You know I'm all about choices," Trish said to Lita, "But you have no choice in this you will get married to one of these men on Saturday and you know which one to choose and you're too chicken to make the choice!"

"What are you talking about Stratus; I'm not afraid of anything!" Lita replied.

"Your afraid that Shawn's gonna end up like every man you've ever loved," Trish continued and Matt felt very uncomfortable all of a sudden.

"Don't go there Stratus," Lita warned her sister in Christ.

"Oh I'm going there, I have no choice but to tell the Truth its what God ordained me to do, you think Shawn's gonna think you're not good enough for him because you don't think you're good enough for anyone!" Trish yelled and Lita went scarlet.

"That's enough Trish," Edge said, "Lita's made her choice and it's me!"

"Is it or are you just a consolation prize?" Matt Hardy said and Edge gave him the finger, Matt ignored him and looked Lita right in the eye ignoring the hazel orbs that were currently burning a hole into Trish, "You can do better bella, don't sell yourself short, marry Shawn he's the man of your dreams,"

"I KNEW IT!" Rebecca yelled and Eddy gagged her mouth again.

"We'll be going back to Heaven now, see you on Saturday, Jeff says make sure you leave him some Skittles Matty," Eddy said and they began to ascend when Lita broke into a sprint and ran after them.

"Which one do I choose?" she asked Rebecca before she disappeared and Rebecca smiled at her.

"If I tell you God's gonna make me do chores with Jesus, He's got His eye on you darling, just look inside your heart and you'll make the right decision," Rebecca replied and Lita looked between Shawn and Edge, then between Melina and Trish who were looking back at her with Carlito and Randy.

"I choose Edge," she said and ran off to the Rated R Superstar who welcomed her into his arms and knocked over the candelabra setting the small Mexican church on fire.

"What's that smell?" LC said as Aurora smelled the air scrunching up her nose in disgust. Shaul and her sisters looked over at the church and Dominic noticed the plumes of smoke.

"Papi!" he cried.

"The church is on fire!" Cameron cried and Cheyenne jumped up on his back and he bolted towards the door.

"Ro-Ro kill the flame with another one of your tornadoes!" Lisa commanded and Aurora obeyed directing the wind with her sterling silver rattle causing the little church to chill and the flames burnt out leaving Edge confused.

"What happened just then, that felt like a tornado went by?" Bret Hart said.

"My daughter extinguished the flames," Stephanie McMahon said running out of the church towards LC and Aurora, "Come here sweetie and give momma a hug," she said with her arms outstretched and Aurora threw her rattle at her knocking her unconscious and LC and the gang laughed.

"I guess its gonna be awhile before she warms up to you like a billion years," she said and Cameron took hold of LC's hand and lead her towards the church steps where everyone was standing and applauding the Cerebral Assassin's baby girl.

"That's my girl!" Hunter said taking Aurora in his arms.

"You and Cameron make the cutest couple," Chyna said ruffling her daughter's hair and looked over at Carla who was looking down at her shoes with tears in her eyes, "Maybe you guys should kiss and make up," she said as LC scowled at her sister.

"Never, not after what you did to DX, you tried to kill our parents!" LC snapped.

"But the Bible says you must forgive up to seven times seventy times, how many times have you forgiven Cameron for being a Christian dork?" Cheyenne said and Cameron took that as a compliment.

"About a million," LC said, "but that's only because I love him - oops, forget I said that!" she said blushing and Cameron smiled.

"I KNEW IT!" he screamed like his mother's ghost, "you hear that daddy she loves me, I told you she was the one!" he said to his father and gave LC a huge kiss much to Carla's surprise.

"Can we be friends again? At least until I find my true love so I can rub him in your face like you're doing to me right now?" Carla B. Cool said.

"What about you Shawn, can you be friends with Bret so you can come to the wedding in Toronto?" Christian asked HBK who was observing at the victory dance his son was doing in front of everyone, it looked very familiar.

"Quit copying me Cameron," he said and Lita tapped him on the shoulder.

"Answer the question, are you gonna come to Toronto for the wedding?" she asked and Shawn nodded.

"Of course I'm coming to the wedding, I want whatever makes you happy Big Red even if it isn't me," Shawn said swallowing his pride down as far as it would go and Lita gave him the biggest smile he had ever seen.

"Good because I'm staying right here and getting married to you," she said and Shawn was ecstatic and jumped up and down and started doing his own victory dance while Edge went into a fit of rage.

"That was the best rib of all time!" Trish said slapping hands with Melina, Carlito and Randy while Hunter and Chyna looked at the Kliq in equal surprise.

"Wait you knew she was gonna pick Shawnie over that Canadian douche bag?" Kevin Nash asked Trish who nodded.

"I even got you in on it Taker," Trish said and the Deadman made the Tombstone gesture with his hands indicating that Trish was a dead woman walking for pulling the wool over his eyes.

"So I'm not Lita's true love?" Edge protested furiously and his mother picked up Sting's baseball bat and swung it at The Truth: Trish Stratus.

"Give me that!" Sting said snatching it back, "Don't ever threaten a woman of God with my weapon of choice,"

"Christian put that guitar down!" Lita's mom said as Christian was about to break Jeff Jarrett's guitar over Trish's head enraged by her keeping them all in the dark.

"Lita made her choice alright and it was Shawn, she just didn't want to leave her single life without some controversy," Trish said and the WWE Superstars laughed and eventually Bret Hart did too.

"Controversy? That's something you know all about Shawn Michaels, its only fitting that your future wife would be another man's fiancée," he said dryly and Shawn rolled his eyes.

"Are you gonna stay for the wedding or are you pissing off back to Canada with this miserable loser?" Shawn said pointing to Edge who gnashed his teeth.

"This isn't over, we've got three days to Monday Night RAW and I'm going to let the whole world know how straight you're not with the video footage Alex Shelley made of us when you were channeling Lita's spirit through your tattoos!" Edge threatened and Kevin Nash shook his head pitifully, "What are you looking at Big Lazy?" he said to Big Daddy Cool.

"Alex's Shelley Cam got destroyed by Mexican customs officers, and every teenage girl in America has seen those pictures and they think you make the cutest couple so find another way to sabotage Shawn's marriage that doesn't involve you and Shawn in Steph and Hunter's tour bus," he said.

The wrestlers laughed, Shad and JTG especially, as Edge went red, "At least I didn't get brainwashed by the Undertaker and lie about it so my older brother wouldn't find out!" he shot back.

"But you did have sex with Lita while I was injured and made her have sex with you on Monday Night RAW while you were still married," Matt Hardy said.

"Who here didn't have a man crush on Shawn Michaels at some point in their life anyway?" Undertaker asked the WWE and TNA wrestlers and no-one put their hands up and Shawn blushed.

"You guys are the ones who need to get married, there's nothing wrong with being in love with another man Hunter, as long as no icky stuff is involved," Shawn said turning to his best friend who was blushing the hardest.

"Why is everyone looking at me?" Hunter said defensively.

"As long as it's healthy and doesn't involve a leather seat on a tour bus," Shawn finished and Edge blushed hard.

"It was just a hug!" he yelled and everyone laughed at him.

"Yes it was and it was nice," Lita said and Shawn laughed as Edge stared at her in disbelief.

"You really did feel it when I was with Shawn didn't you?" he said smiling and Lita nodded.

"I was in his body, we were one and now we'll be one in the eyes of the Almighty Father in less than two days," Lita beamed smiling like a Cheshire cat, then her face turned sour as she saw her father glaring at her.

"I don't think so missy, you'll ruin his life the way you ruin every man's that you fall in love with, I'm going back to Georgia, don't expect me to stay for the farce of a wedding!" he snapped.

"Good because you're not invited, Edge will you give me away on Saturday?" Lita asked her ex-fiancé.

"No," Edge answered.

"I'll give you away bella," Matt Hardy said and Lita threw her arms around him and cried.

"Thank you Matt, I love you so much," she said and Matt rubbed her back lovingly.

"I love you too Amy, for everything including bringing my little brother back from the dead," Matt said.

"What if he doesn't want to come back?" Melina said, "Heaven's the only place to be, why would he wanna come back here and get screwed out of the WWE Championship again?"

"One thing at a time people, Edge please stay don't go away bitter like Bret did, I've really gotten close to you over the past year and I want us to go on working together when we go back to work, please stay," Shawn asked the Rated R Superstar who looked at his mother who shook her head, then looked at Lita's mom who nodded that he should go.

"I'll stay on one condition," Edge said and Shawn rolled his eyes wondering why Edge could never do something for free.

"Name it," he said, "You want a shot at John Cena after Wrestlemania right? Fine he's yours,"

"No, I want to choose the band for your wedding," Edge replied.

"No way, I get to choose the band, he's my best friend!" Hunter snapped.

"Well Lita's my ex-fiancé that counts twice!" Edge replied and Shawn and Lita watched as Hunter and Edge degenerated into a feud with no ring or referee present.

"Okay stop it, there's only one way to settle this," Shawn said and Lita listened curiously. "Rock, Paper, Scissors," Shawn said and Hunter smiled.

"I never loose at this, after 3," he said and Edge got ready, "1-2-3!" he cried and made a rock while Edge made paper.

"I win I get to choose the band!" Edge cheered jumping up and down and doing HBK's victory dance.

"Will everybody please stop copying off of me!" Shawn snapped and both Cameron and Edge stopped moving.

"Paper does not cover rock!" Hunter retaliated.

"Yes it does, you lost don't be a sore loser," Chyna said and Stephanie rolled her eyes at her.

"And you call yourself a Helmsley," she said taking Chyna over to one side, "Honey if you're gonna be Mrs. Hunter Hurst Helmsley you're gonna have to think like a McMahon,"

"You mean act like a complete maniac and write my family out of their inheritance if they ever piss me off?" Joanie replied and Stephanie stormed off with Jericho following after her.

"Aren't you gonna go with them?" LC asked Carla who shook her head.

"I don't think I can take anymore McMadness, can I stay with you and your family? You Helmsleys are so much more fun," Carla said and LC looked up at her father who was still making his case for choosing the band for Lita's wedding and challenging Edge to a Rock, Paper, Scissors rematch.

"As long as your cool with me and Cameron sucking face," LC said and Carla nodded, "Cool, then I've got a plan to make Lita's wedding the coolest event America has ever seen!" she said and called the Guerreros and the Mysterios back into the church and planned the wedding from Heaven in the small church where legends were born and WWE history was made.


	15. Dazed and Confused in Dixieland

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece?

Chapter Fifteen - Dazed and Confused in Dixieland

Clear Water, FL:

Brandon and Cassidy Montenegro were glued to the TV watching the coverage of the earthquake in Tijuana, after Hurricane Aurora swept Florida off the map this was not a surprise especially when they found out DX were in town.

"Man what is Triple H gonna do with that girl?" Miss. Taylor said to her boyfriend as he stroked her hair lovingly watching the news while Cassidy tried LC's phone again.

"It's not working," Cassidy said anxiously.

"I'm sure she's fine, this is LC we're talking about here if anyone can survive a flood, hurricane and earthquake it's her," Charlene said.

"I still say we go and check it out for ourselves, Charlotte and Dan are two of my best friends I wouldn't feel right if I didn't know for sure if they were all okay," Brandon said and Miss. Taylor agreed.

"Okay let's go," Cassidy said.

As they walked towards Brandon's car, Charlene noticed a WWE helicopter flying low to the ground it was almost landing, "Looks like the McMahons are in town, what do you think they want from TNA this time?" she said.

"Whatever it is I'm sure Dixie will laugh her pretty face off," Brandon said and the gang made their way to Tijuana.

Universal Studios, FL:

Inside TNA headquarters, President Dixie Carter sat across from the McMahons and listened to them explain their impromptu visit.

"I must point out that none of the TNA wrestlers are in town, they're in Tijuana," she said and Vince and Shane frowned.

"What?" Vince said shocked, "We just came from L.A there was an earthquake in Tijuana!"

"Are you aware of how dangerous it is for your talent to be anywhere near the West Coast right now Dixie? I have to say I thought you'd have more control over where your roster chooses to hang out," Linda McMahon said patronizingly and Dixie just smiled almost laughing at how rude the McMahons were to anyone who didn't share their last name.

"I am aware of the quake in Tijuana," she said gently. "I have spoken to my boys and girls and they have assured me that they're fine and they'll be back in time for the Impact tapings later on tonight," Dixie said.

"If it were me I wouldn't have let them leave the state, these are dangerous times Mrs. Carter, TNA can't risk losing revenue because of another natural disaster," Vince McMahon said.

"If you're referring to that freak hurricane that took place here awhile ago I know you had something to do with that Vince," Dixie said.

"I did not!" Vince snapped.

"Your grand-daughter did, I believe your ex son-in-law calls her Hurricane Aurora," Dixie continued.

"She's not part of my family anymore; she is now a Helmsley if you have a problem with what happened to the Impact Zone take it up with that no good sonofabitch, Triple H!" Vince replied angrily.

"You are Aurora's grandfather, she gets her powers from you," Dixie said.

"She does not!" Vince argued defiantly.

"She does Vincent, I know Triple H, he's a soft spoken, mild mannered polite young man, he's not got the genes to wipe out an entire promotion, that's pure McMadness," Dixie explained and Vince, Shane and Linda said nothing, "Don't blame Hunter for your grand-daughter's behavior, you McMahons brought this on yourself when you wrote that innocent child out of her inheritance,"

"How do you know all this Dixie, have you been trying to sign DX again?" Linda McMahon asked suspiciously.

"I would love Shawn and Hunter to come down south, Trish and Carlito live here it would be good for business, but they're loyal to their WWE fans and I respect that, my information comes from Nash and Hall, the Kliq," Dixie replied, "Good luck signing them, Scott, Sean and Kevin hate your guts and who can blame them?"

"I can!" Shane said getting to his feet, "Those two left us twice, the first time for WCW and then again for TNA,"

"And DX have stuck around only to have you try to destroy them at every single opportunity," Dixie said and shook her head in disgust, "No wonder Shawn's leaving after Wrestlemania," she said and the McMahons turned to stone, "I'm guessing by the looks on your faces you didn't know that,"

"Shawn's not going anywhere, he's mine for as long as he's needed!" Vince replied confidently and Dixie cocked her eyebrow Rocky style.

"Oh really, then why are DX sending out invitations to Shawn and Lita's wedding this Saturday, where, according to this invitation Shawn has a very special announcement to make?" Dixie said holding up the invite DX faxed over, the green and black lettering hitting the McMahons' eyes like a slap in the face.

"WHAT?" They said at the same-time, "Shawn, Lita - getting married?"

"I got my invitation, yours must be still be in the mail," Dixie said with a humored smile getting up to leave, "Now if ya'll would excuse me, I've got a wedding present to collect for what promises to be the most controversial wedding the wrestling world has ever seen, it says here right on the invitation,"

Dixie left her own office walking away from the three faces of Linda, Vince and Shane and their looks of complete and utter disbelief.

"Shawn and Lita are getting married?" Shane said.

"What the Hell happened to Edge and Lita's wedding in Toronto?" Linda said.

"Who the Hell writes "SUCK IT!" on their wedding invitation?" Vince yelled in complete disgust not recognizing the handwriting of LC, Cam-Cam, Chey and Carla while the Guerreros and the Mysterios did their ones in Spanish and sent them out to LAX's mailing list which covered the entire Latino Nation.

"DX do, that's who," Dixie Carter said to herself listening outside her office door before leaving TNA Headquarters to catch the next flight out of Dixieland, Florida to Los Loco Gringos, DX.

Bakersfield, CA:

Charlotte and Dan watched the earthquake coverage back in their home where it was quiet and tremor free, the aftershocks didn't affect them there in Bakersfield, L.A. was still shaking and all travel out of LAX was cancelled, luckily Charlotte and Dan still had their parents' Predator 55 and it got them home safe and sound and was able to fit almost all the WWE and ECW Divas.

"Can I get you ladies another drink?" Dan asked Victoria, Candice and Mickie James.

"No thanks," MJ said.

"I wouldn't mind hearing about how you two met again," Layla asked twirling her hair around her fingers and Charlotte and Dan smiled at each other fondly.

"It was love at first sight," Dan said and Charlotte blushed, "the only thing that was missing was a child,"

"I can't have any children," Charlotte explained and the divas looked at her sympathetically.

"But God gave us a little girl, her name was Carla," Dan continued sitting down next to them all.

"She was being abused by her adoptive parents, Edge and Trish rescued her, we met her in Jamaica and invited her into our lives," Charlotte said, "But that's where the fairytale ends because . . . she went back to her real family,"

"She went back to those abusive foster parents?" Candice asked in shock.

"No, she went back to her real parents, well sort of," Dan said and the Divas frowned at her confused.

"It turns out that Carla is Jericho and Chyna's daughter and since Chyna and Jericho can't stand each other so Stephanie and Jericho have her now," Charlotte said wiping a tear away from her eye.

"Stephanie and Jericho took your little girl?" Ashley said in disbelief and Charlotte and Dan nodded.

"She's their little girl now," Charlotte said but Kelly Kelly shook her head that she was wrong.

"No you prayed for her, you met her against all the odds after Edge and Trish rescued her from an abusive family, she's your little girl," Kelly Kelly explained passionately and Layla shook her head in agreement.

"You have to fight for her," Layla said.

"Don't give up on having the perfect family because of a technicality," Mickie James said.

"Carla's a gift from God and she's worth every drop of your love, money can't buy what you've given that little girl I don't care how rich Jericho and Stephanie are," Candice said and Charlotte looked at Dan and together they considered how much time they had prayed for a child, waited for a miracle and then got one all because of ATM, were they really going to let DNA take that all away?

"You know we never asked Carla how things are going with Stephanie and Jericho," Charlotte said to him and Dan smiled knowing she never stopped wanting Carla back despite the brave face she put on everytime she heard her name.

"What do you girls say we hop back in the motor yacht and head south of the border for a little family reunion?" Dan said and the Divas raised their plastic cups in salute to the young family.

"What is your last name?" Ashley asked them.

"McCool," Dan replied.

"And Carla's IM is CarlaBCool, how cool is that?" Charlotte said.

"And you're gonna be the coolest family in the neighborhood, come on let's go!" Ashley said getting up excitedly and the Divas looked at her surprised by her change in attitude since the whole freak out over hearing about John Cena getting back together with Maria and asking her to marry him.

"Getting a kiss from Shawn Michaels will do that to a girl," Mickie James said and Charlotte fantasized about being the one who Shawn was gonna marry in less than 2 days.

"I wonder if I could borrow that Kiss of Life for the weekend?" Dan thought as they left the house and made their way over to the Predator 55, he'd use anything that could make his wife smile like that, it reminded him of the first time they saw that beautiful little Canadian and knew in the depths of their souls that she was destined to be a McCool. Now all they had to do was get her away from a woman who already had lost more than most people lost in an entire lifetime and a man who really thought in the depths of his soul that he was the King of the World.

"Ashley why aren't you getting in?" Layla asked as everyone else got in the motor yacht while Massaro just stood their watching them, a cruel smile suddenly appeared over her face and Dan's face twisted into a hideous shape.

"It's the Whore of Babylon!" Mickie James cried and took Ashley down or at least tried to, Ashley had supernatural strength and knocked MJ back into the other Divas and they flew out of the boat leaving Dan alone in there with Charlotte.

"I should have known you'd try to escape me Daniel," Ashley said looking directly at Dan who had turned to stone and Charlotte panicked because ATM weren't around to help her, "No-one escapes my wrath!" Ashley yelled in a dark and garbled voice that was from out of this world, she was not herself, she was the Whore of Babylon again.

"I guess she didn't take the news about John and Maria getting back together very well after all," Victoria said to Candice who was starting to grow at an incredible rate.

"Oh my God!" Candice shrieked as she shot up to the air her head touching the clouds, "What's happening to me?"

The other Divas huddled around Charlotte as Candice and Ashley grew to over 30ft.

"Pump it Charlotte get us outta here!" Kelly Kelly cried and Charlotte McCool turned on the ignition and ripped through the water left from the flash flood all the way back to Los Angeles away from the giant Playboy covergirls whom Dan had seen naked on many, many, many occasions despite Charlotte telling him to throw his old Playboys out ages ago.

"Men never listen; take it from me girls, enjoy single life!" Charlotte said and the Divas nodded with eyes fixed on the two women they called their friends who were now tearing the houses of Bakersfield and soon the rest of Southern California apart. They had to get to Tijuana before it was too late, the Divas couldn't help but wonder what was happening to Torrie Wilson and Christy Hemme right about now as they had posed in Playboy too and were also vulnerable to the Whore of Babylon's attacks but she wasn't interested in attacking them, her next target was the First Lady of Degeneration X.


	16. Standoff at the Camino Real

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece?

Chapter Sixteen - Stand Off at the Camino Real

Outside the Camino Real Hotel, Tijuana, Mexico, 7pm:

Chyna was standing still and LC was right there beside her.

"Something wrong mommy?" she asked and Chyna nodded.

"Yup, trouble's brewing I can feel it," Chyna replied holding her daughter's hand.

"How do you know trouble's coming?" LC asked as the birds began to swarm over their heads and the tourists stopped in their tracks to observe while others fled to their hotel rooms.

"After 5 years as a professional women's wrestler in the WWF you learn to smell trouble before it comes, ain't that right Stratus?" Chyna said looking to her left where The Truth: Trish Stratus was poised awaiting danger too.

"That's right Joanie, those divas are here for you," Trish said and LC frowned.

"Is this because you posed for Playboy?" she asked and Chyna nodded and LC kicked her father in the shin.

"OW!" Hunter yelped out.

"Why did you ask mom to pose naked, have you some crazy idea that all women have to be naked all the time?" LC asked angrily and Hunter thought about it then answered.

"Hell yeah," he said and Shawn stepped on his foot, "Shouldn't you be getting ready for your date with Lita?"

"I think this is more important then sipping virgin coladas and sharing nacho cheese chili fries Hunter," Shawn said and Chyna and Hunter looked at him like he was the dumbest cowboy this side of the border.

"This isn't about getting a snack with your girlfriend Shawn, it's about getting to know your future wife a bit better," Chyna said.

"I know Lita pretty well we've worked in the same company for like 7 years," Shawn said defensively and Hunter chuckled, "What?" Shawn asked annoyed.

"I know what this is about, you're afraid to have sex with her," Hunter said and Shawn laughed.

"Me? Afraid of sex? My theme music is all about how sexy I am how could I possibly be afraid of having sex with Lita? That's ludacris pun intended!" Shawn said confidently but DX weren't buying it.

"Because you've never had sex with anyone besides Rebecca," Chyna answered and Trish blushed while LC laughed hysterically and ran to tell Cameron what a dork his father was.

"Wait come back my son worships the ground I walk on!" Shawn said running after her while Hunter and Joanie awaited the arrival of Ashley and Candice; the 30ft Divas had destroyed L.A and crushed San Diego and according to The Truth, they were almost in Mexico and heading their way.

"How much are you paying me for this?" Chyna asked Hunter pulling on her leather gloves while Hunter tied back her long black hair.

"I'll see how much spending money's left in my bank account after I pay for Shawn's penis enlargement; that man needs a new set," Hunter replied and Joanie slapped him on the arm.

"There's nothing wrong with Shawn he's just not ready to get intimate with another woman, his wife just died baby, plus there's the children to think about. What kind of man just jumps into bed with the first woman he likes after losing his wife of 7 years?" Chyna said as Kevin Nash came over.

"Somebody call my name?" he said casually chewing gum as always.

"Get out of here Nash I've got this all under control," Chyna said.

"Carlito says the Whore of Babylon has turned Ashley and Candice into 30ft giants is that true?" Kevin asked Trish who nodded, "So why aren't you guys running for your lives?"

"Because that would be cowardly and I don't do cowardly," Chyna replied and Nash nodded seeing where LC got her moxie from.

"Well if you get in trouble, Scottie and Sean said they'll come a'runnin, I'll be in the pool playing Marco Polo with the normal Divas," Nash said and Hunter got irritated.

"Did you come all the way down here to tell us that?" he snapped, "If you really wanna be a pal go find Shawn and remind him how to have sex with a beautiful woman because he seems to have forgotten,"

"What?" Nash asked horrified, "Hunter the man just lost his wife and the mother of his children, you really think he's gonna have sex with Lita before they get married?"

"He has to or he might regret it later, what if she's not any good? Becky was a tigress," Hunter argued and Nash cocked his eyebrow suggestively.

"You don't have to tell me twice," he said and Hunter and Chyna laughed, "Rebecca was good in bed but that's because Shawn was too, you're only as good as the guy or gal you're having sex with,"

"Well in that case I'm terrible cause I'm not having sex with anyone," Shawn said coming back outside after failing to catch up to LC, "The idea of having sex with Lita after I told Rebecca that I wasn't interested in her just feels so wrong," he explained and Hunter rolled his eyes.

"Look just go find Edge and have a Live Sex celebration that'll help ya," Hunter said and Trish started to get aggravated and pinched her nose in distress.

"Why is everything always about sex when it comes to you Hunter? Can't you ever accept that two people can just hold hands for an extended period of time?" she said frustrated and Hunter baulked.

"What are you talking about Stratus you've had sex with half the Attitude Era," Hunter responded and Trish nodded.

"That's how I know, when I was single, I was sleeping with guy on top of guy and it made me unhappy because I could never see myself settling down with a man I truly loved. When you give it up that easily sex becomes so unspecial like a Bra and Panties match, once you've seen one Bra and Panties match you've seen them all. Shawn and Lita are like a 60 minute Iron Man match; it starts off slow, then it gets really intense and before you know it both competitors are lying flat on their backs totally exhausted by the once in a lifetime experience they shared in front of millions of people," Trish said and the Kliq just stared at her.

"Trish you have the weirdest sex dreams," Shawn said and Hunter, Chyna and Nash nodded, "But I think you're right about me and Lita being like an Iron man match and not some stupid diva pillow fight that comes on before the main event," Shawn rubbed his chin thoughtfully, "I gotta know she won't think I'm not attracted to her if we just hold hands for an extended period of time,"

"What if you guys just make out until Saturday?" Kevin Nash suggested compassionately.

"Yeah just take it real slow," Chyna suggested.

"Or you could just do her and get it over with," Hunter snapped angrily and the Kliq gasped in shock as he stormed away in a huff.

"What the Hell's twisting his nipple?" Chyna wondered distracted from keeping watch by Hunter's outburst but Shawn shrugged it off.

"He's jealous I'm gonna do what he's dreamt about doing for years; having sex with Lita," Shawn explained and Chyna turned her white.

"Hunter dreamt about having sex with Lita?" she said in disbelief and Shawn felt like digging the biggest hole and burying himself right in it; Undertaker was never around when he needed him.

"Uh-oh," he said avoiding Chyna's icy glare her mint green orbs glazing over with rage.

"HBK dropped the ball Scott!" Nash yelled to the top floor of the Camino Real while Shawn tried to reason with Chyna.

"Don't take it personally Joanie you know Hunter, if it's got legs he's just gotta want it!" Shawn continued and even Trish had to balk at that one.

"Shawn you really dropped the ball now!" Trish cried and Shawn watched in horror as Chyna began to grow, "Well that's just great St. Michaels now the Whore of Babylon's got her!" Trish told him and ran inside to get reinforcements to the two people who would never drop the ball while Shawn wondered who was more dangerous, the 30ft Playboy Covergirls or the 6' 4" best friend he had cheesed off consecutively for the last decade?

Just then a small hand tapped him on the leg and there was LC, Carla B. Cool, Cameron, Cheyenne, the Guerrero Sisters and Aaliyah and Dominic Mysterio.

"Go dad, we've got this," Cameron said confidently nodding to his girlfriends, past and present.

"I'm not so sure you all can take on the Whore of Babylon," Shawn said anxiously.

"Oh yes we can," Carla B. Cool said, "We're the antidote Uncle Shawn," she said and Shawn frowned confused.

"How's that?" he asked.

"We're all virgins, the Whore of Babylon only attacks, um . . . non-virgins," Shaul explained blushing and Dominic grinned until Shawn slapped him around the head.

"Don't be getting any ideas boy or I'm gonna tell your daddy," he warned Dominic who said something derogatory in Spanish which HBK understood and slapped him again.

"Quit hitting me!" Dominic complained and HBK took him away from the girls to find Rey Mysterio and left Shaul scratching her head wondering why her favorite Uncle in the whole world was so upset with Dominic.

"Okay people we're one virgin down but I think we can still stop the Whore of Babylon," Carla B. Cool said and Shaul laughed.

"What's so funny?" Cheyenne said sternly clapping her Children's Bible shut and putting her hands on her hips irritated, "This is serious," she said.

"I know its serious," Shaul said.

"Then why were you laughing?" Carla B. Cool asked.

"Because you said we're one virgin down and Dominic ain't no virgin," Shaul said and LC's raised her eyebrow Rock style.

"And let me guess, neither are you," she asked and Shaul nodded causing Carla and Chey to almost feint from shock.

"Dom and I had sex while we were flying in from L.A," Shaul said and Sherilyn and Kaylee Marie got really mad.

"Mama's gonna kill you hermana!" Sherilyn cried angrily, "Why did you have sex you're not even allowed to have a boyfriend!"

"Because he asked me to and I liked him, don't worry we used a condom," Shaul said coolly but LC was beyond pissed off with this piece of information.

"Newsflash Shaul, we need virgins to cast out the Whore of Babylon, Cameron go get Tristen and Sean Preston before Ashley and Candice get here," LC said and Cameron looked down at his feet and LC groaned in disbelief, "Don't tell me those two are players too?" she said her strength waning.

"I don't know about Sean but Tristen is a Nash and Nashes like women especially other peoples," Cameron explained and LC and Carla jumped up and down furiously.

"Oh this is just perfect, how are we going to banish the Whore of Babylon back to Hell if we're surrounded by hos?" Carla snapped and everyone saw the relationship between her and LC clearly for the first time; these two were on a holy assignment and they didn't have anytime to waste on foolish mortals or their sexually active children.

LC snapped her fingers and looked at the sun, it was going down and the earth was starting to tremble, Ashley and Candice would soon be here, "There's only one person who can save us now and she's taking a nap," she said and Carla shook her head knowing who her sister meant.

"But she's only been down half an hour she hasn't gotten all her beauty sleep yet, if we wake her she'll be in a really, really bad mood," Carla said and Cam-Cam, Chey, Aaliyah and the Guerrero Sisters smiled knowing who they were talking about.

"I'm counting on it Carla!" LC cried, "You guys go get her and whatever you do don't take that yellow rain hat off her head!" she instructed her friends and they obeyed running up to the hotel to awaken the sleeping beauty Hurricane Aurora while LC waited eagerly for the Playboy covergirls to arrive.

"I got a feeling this is gonna get real ugly," she said to herself, "I need a weapon of some-kind," she thought and looked up at the 30ft Diva she called mom, "Weapon located, 9th Wonder of the World standing by awaiting instruction," she said and jumped up onto Chyna's leather pants and climbed all the way up to her mother's ear, "Okay listen up mommy, the Whore of Babylon wants you to destroy all unfaithful men but if you do that, daddy would have to go away and you've already been to Hell and back so why get mad at him now? Forgive him for his sins and put this bitch back where the Hell she came from once and for all!" LC instructed her mother who was wrestling with her raging feelings of revenge towards Hunter, LC could see her struggling with her emotions and decided to mention the one thing that would set her mother's mind right, "Stephanie would love to see you two break up, don't give her that satisfaction!" she said and Chyna howled at the idea of losing Hunter to the Billion Dollar Princess again and rolled her shoulders almost bouncing LC off them as she did so.

"It's showtime Whore of Babylon!" she said seeing Ashley Massaro and Candice Michelle coming towards her over the horizon, they thought she was on their side; they didn't know how wrong they were.


	17. Promiscuous Girl

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece?

A/N: This chapter contains some sexual references

Chapter Seventeen - Promiscuous Girl

_Before you see the light you must DIE! - Slayer, South of Heaven._

The Pacific Ocean was roaring with waves high and people fleeing as Ashley Massaro and Candice Michelle approached Chyna who was now surrounded by a 30ft Torrie Wilson and a 30ft Christy Hemme but Chyna wasn't phased by any of these giant Playboy Covergirls. As far as she was concerned she was still the best women's wrestler alive and no Babylonian harlot was going to get one over her no matter how demonic she was.

The WWE and TNA wrestlers watched from the roof top of the Camino Real along with all the other tourists for what had to be the biggest Diva match in Mexican history.

"Where's my Shelley Cam when I need it!" Alex Shelley complained.

"Here we go!" Konnan said as Torrie and Christy pushed Chyna into Ashley and Candice who threw her down into the Pacific Ocean creating a wave so big it splashed over all the hotels nearby drenching the wrestlers from top to bottom.

"I didn't think this was going to turn into a wet t shirt contest," LC complained hanging onto her mother's earring as she hit the water, "Get up mommy!" she cried into her mother's ear as Ashley grabbed Chyna's hair and face-planted her into the water again.

"Where's ATM she needs help!" Krystal Marshall said.

"No she can take them, she's not a two time WWF Women's Champion for nuthin, come on Chyna!" Jillian Hall cried and the SD Divas cheered Joanie on as Candice slapped her face as Ashley held her back.

"You're one of us Chyna!" Candice said with a demonic look in her eye.

"Join us and together we can destroy all mankind for looking at our Playboy pictures!" Christy Hemme said.

"It's because of men like Triple H that I can't get a decent date, all men ever say is "Take your top off!" Well we can put a stop to that tonight!" Torrie Wilson declared avidly.

"We'll teach men that the Whore of Babylon ain't no lady to mess with!" Ashley said.

"Hey that's my line!" Victoria said and MJ held her back and told her to be quiet.

"Where's ATM, Chyna's getting her butt kicked!" Mickie James said flinching as Candice kicked Chyna in the stomach and the 30ft Amazon keeled over in pain.

"I think Stephanie McMahon is about to get her wish, Chyna's about to take her last breath," JTG said as Torrie Wilson clothes-lined Chyna into the ocean causing yet another wave to soak the wrestlers through and through.

"ATM where are you?" Gail Kim cried anxious for someone to help Chyna as were all the other wrestlers because this was one match it looked like Chyna wasn't going to win.

"Not so fast ladies," roared the familiar voice of Lita and the wrestlers and tourists looked up and saw a 30ft red head looking in the Playboy Covergirls direction and she wasn't alone, Trish and Melina were with her and they were super-sized too.

"Get 'em!" Ashley Massaro said to Torrie, Candice and Christy while she pushed Chyna's head under the water trying to drown her. ATM wrestled with the three Divas, knocking them backwards and away from the innocent bystanders and the surrounding hotels and into the ocean while LC struggled for air under the water. Chyna saw her baby girl in trouble and fought the water coming into her lungs as Ashley pulled her under with all her body weight. Chyna reached one hand up and felt something metallic on the Diva's face, it was a piercing so she pulled it.

"ARGHHH!" Ashley screamed and held her face as blood spurted everywhere, Chyna came back up out of the water and made sure her daughter was okay.

"I'm fine mom," LC assured her coughing and Chyna got hot at seeing her daughter in pain, she tucked LC into her top, picked up Ashley and power bombed her into the ocean with such force the other 30ft Playboy Covergirls lost their balance and fell down too. Lita and Trish prayed over Chyna while Melina prayed over the water.

"We bind you in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost, go back to Hell you whore!" the Anointed one cried and Ashley, Candice, Torrie and Christy screamed so loud everyone covered their ears. The water rose up and it looked for a second as if it was about to drown them all, instead it crashed down over the heads of the Playboy Covergirls and washed the Whore of Babylon away thanks to Melina's cleansing the water with her healing hands.

The Divas shrank back to their normal sizes and ATM helped them back to dry land, LC jumped out of her mother's halter top strap and into the water with a massive war cry alerting Carla B. Cool, Cameron, Chey, Sherilyn, Kaylee Marie and Aaliyah Mysterio to bring Hurricane Aurora outside. As soon as the children were all together they held hands with LC, closed their eyes and began to pray. As they did so Aurora shook her rattle, the Whore of Babylon rose, her spirit suspended in the air for everyone to see. The wrestlers and tourists gasped in amazement as the demonic spirit appeared like a ghost frozen in ice by Hurricane Aurora's supernatural powers screeching like a banshee and unwilling to go back to Hell; she shouldn't have complained, Hell would have been a better choice.

"AMEN!" all the children said at the end of the prayer and the Whore of Babylon smashed into a million pieces falling into the Pacific Ocean in bits of ice and melted away into nothing.

"Ding, dong, the bitch is dead!" LC sang and ATM along with the wrestlers and tourists cheered the young ones, Chyna couldn't wait to tell Hunter how his daughter's saved the world for demonic forces, meanwhile Charlotte and Dan just survived in the Predator 55 barely escaping the battle as they crashed onto dry land.

"Carla!" Charlotte cried running over to the little Canadian blond with her husband, Carla leapt into her arms and she spun her around ecstatically, "That was amazing truly Divine, I'm so proud of you sweetie!" she exclaimed joyfully.

"You are?" Carla asked giddy from the whole experience.

"We both are, you took out the Whore of Babylon virtually by yourself that was amazing!" Dan said and LC cleared her throat along with the other children.

"She had some help you know," LC said and Dan smirked.

"You're the daughter of the most powerful man in the wrestling industry let Carla have her moment in the sun," he said and Carla frowned.

"She's my sister we share all our moments together," she said.

"So you want to stay with Hunter and Joanie?" Charlotte asked nervously not wanting to be the bigger person and let Carla live with the family of her choosing but wanting to take her home and wrap a blanket around her as soon as possible.

"No I want to come back home with you and Dan," Carla said and the McCools smiled in elation.

"That's great because we miss you and we want you to be our daughter in the eyes of the law," Charlotte said and LC gasped.

"Deal!" Carla gasped, "I want to be a McCool!"

"You'll be Carla B. McCool, how cool is that?" Cameron said and ATM nodded.

"But what about Jericho?" LC asked, "Isn't he going to be pissed Char?"

"No he doesn't care about Carla and he never did, he just played father of the year to get Stephanie's attention," The Truth: Trish Stratus said, "Carla's in better hands with Charlotte and Dan, that's why God brought her to you in the first place and what God has ordained, let no man put asunder,"

Chyna wiped a tear away from her eye as Charlotte and Dan kissed Carla like she was the best thing that ever happened to them, and she was.

"Come on LC, let's go find your father and tell him what a jerk we think he is, but we love him anyway," she said walking back towards the hotel with LC and Aurora when Lita stopped her.

"That might not be a good idea right about now," she said and Chyna frowned.

"Why is he still pissed at Shawnie for not wanting to have sex with you?" Chyna asked and Trish hit her hand against her forehead and Melina sighed in anticipation of the drama that was about to ensue; like they needed anymore after the Attack of the 30ft Playboy Covergirls.

"No I was just gonna say that he was in the can," Lita replied in shock, "Shawn doesn't want to have sex with me?" Lita asked in disbelief and Chyna looked around for Undertaker hoping he'd find a grave to dig for her, "Why not is it because he thinks I'm a whore that I'm not good enough for him?" Lita asked insulted and Chyna shook her head that she'd got it all wrong.

"He's still hung up on Rebecca and he doesn't want to rush anything, you can understand that right? I mean it's not like you're the kind of person that goes from relationship to relationship without even blinking," Chyna said and El Con Dios, TKO, Shad and JTG chuckled.

"She had sex on live TV," Kurt Angle said.

"Well that's different she was doing her job, this is not about sex Lita it's about falling in love, you don't want Shawn to get the wrong impression by just throwing yourself at him do you?" Chyna said and Lita shifted her glance to the beads of sweat collecting between her toes not wanting to answer the question.

"I better go get ready for our date," she said moving away from the crowd of wrestlers and fans wanting her autograph and a picture too; she wasn't just Lita anymore, she was an American hero thanks to ATM finding the Weapons of Mass Destruction.

"But the hotel's wrecked there's water everywhere, you might as well go out in your bikini," Carlito said and Lita looked at him like he was Crazy Caribbean Cool.

"This is Mexico Li, no-one's gonna judge you, so you lost all your clothes in a showdown with the Whore of Babylon, who cares?" Chyna said and the children laughed.

"Plus you look really good in that bikini Lita," Melina said and Carlito, Randy and Nitro agreed, Shelton rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

"What's with you?" Shad asked him.

"Nothing she looks great," Shelton said and Krystal cocked her eye suspiciously at her boyfriend.

"Na-uh what's wrong with going on a date in a bikini?" she asked, "I mean we're Divas we're used to being almost naked in front of people, she's not exactly a virgin so why should she pretend to be shy when she's not?"

"It's not that," Shelton said and AJ Styles came over to his Kliq buddy and Shelton whispered in his ear what the problem with Lita's bikini was.

"Oh," AJ said and everyone leaned in wanting to know what Shelton told the Phenomenal one, "Sorry I am unable to divulge the information my Kliq buddy just gave me, I'm sworn to secrecy, its in the Kliq bylaws,"

"It's okay AJ I grant you permission to talk," Kevin Nash said and Shelton spoke.

"That was the bikini that Lita was wearing when Shawn was staring at her breasts during the SummerSlam promo shoot last year," he said and everyone shrugged.

"So?" MVP said.

"Yeah what's the big deal she looked hot in it then she looks hot in it now, what are you afraid Shawn's gonna think she's cheap because she's had the same bikini for over a year?" Krystal Marshall said and Jillian Hall patted Lita on the shoulder sympathetically.

"Don't worry sweetie, after you and Shawn get married you can have a decent wardrobe for once!" she said and Lita got hot.

"I can't do this I can't go on with this charade!" Lita cried and Trish tried to calm her down.

"Don't worry you'll be fine," she said.

"No Trish I won't be, when he sees me he'll remember me as I used to be not the angelic being I am now," Lita explained and Scott Hall rolled his eyes.

"Well someone sure thinks highly of themselves," he said and Kevin Nash slapped him upside the head and XPac laughed as the burrito he was eating went flying out of his hand.

"Lita he's in love with you, he doesn't care that you used to be erm, well . . . promiscuous," Melina said.

"Yeah I mean Shawn was no saint himself you know, the man humped a Canadian flag on PPV for crying out loud, if you ask me you're getting all wound up over nothing, you're the right woman for Shawn Lita, trust me I know what I'm talking about," XPac said.

"How do you know that I mean you don't even know me," Lita said.

"I know you like to have sex in front of people and in the Kliq that's a good thing because it may come to that," XPac said and everyone threw stuff at him and Lita stormed off in a huff.

"Lita don't listen to him he's just a degenerate," Chyna said pulling the angry red-head back.

"But I'm not, I'm a woman of God and I can't fulfill the fantasy Shawn has of me, I want him to love me for who I am not who I used to be and this bikini is bringing up a lot of bad memories," Lita said.

"Like what?" Chyna asked concerned.

"Like the fact that it was when I was wearing this that Shawn actually looked my way, now I know all he was interested in was my body, if I wanted a man that was in love with the character Vince McMahon made me, I would marry Edge," Lita said and ran away from Chyna towards the hotel not knowing where she was going only that she needed some time to think. Maybe she should have looked up then she wouldn't have bumped into her ex-fiancé who had spent nearly an hour playing Rock, Paper, Scissors rematch with Hunter beating him each time and having to start again until he finally went to the bathroom to take a leak and Edge was able to make his escape.

"What's wrong Lita?" Edge asked her noticing the distressed look on her face, he hadn't seen that look in awhile especially since she got her Anointing, "Are you worried about your first date with Shawn?"

Lita nodded, "He's never gonna let the old me go if he sees me in this bikini, the new me would never wear something so revealing," she said and Edge frowned.

"So why are you wearing it then?" he said simply and Lita went blank.

"I don't know, I guess I didn't think about it until I remembered that I was seeing Shawn tonight for the first time as his girlfriend," she said.

"Is there anything else you can wear?" Edge asked her and Lita shook her head, everything she had was wet, "Shawn's with Rey Mysterio, they've been having a go at Dominic for having sex with Shaul,"

"Dominic had sex with Shaul?" Lita said in disbelief, "She's only 12 years-old!"

"That's why he's getting his ear chewed off, he used a condom though," Edge said.

"That's not the point they shouldn't be having sex at all," Lita replied and shook her head in distress, "Whatever happened to just holding hands for an extended period of time?" Lita mused.

"It gets boring," Edge answered and Lita shook her head, "All relationships no matter the depth or length lead to sex eventually, it's what we were made to do,"

"We are created in God's image and He created us to love each other not do whatever stupid thing comes into our heads," Lita argued and Edge's face dropped.

"So our relationship was stupid is that it? I'm not good enough for you because I'm not a good Christian soldier like HBK is that what you're saying?" he asked offended.

"Come on Edge face it, you only wanted me because of my body, you never loved me for who I really am," Lita said and Edge pulled his hair behind his ears and paced up and down the side of the hotel frustrated, "You never really cared about me,"

"I LOVE YOU!" Edge cried, "I wanted to marry you, Saturday was supposed to be the biggest day of my life and you just ripped out the last part of my heart that was beating thanks to this calling on your life and that no good sonofabitch HBK!"

"Edge calm down we're still friends aren't we?" Lita said hopefully, "You know like me and Matt,"

Edge shook his head, "Would a friend do this?" he asked Lita and pulled the unsuspecting saint into a kiss and just like that she became a sinner refusing to see by faith what God had given her, instead she settled for a make out session behind the Camino Real much to Hunter's enjoyment. If anyone wanted to break the news to Shawn Michaels that Lita couldn't be trusted with any man, it was the man who had been against their whole infatuation in the first place. Hunter was about to go find Shawn when he heard a familiar voice followed by a scuffle and turned to see Matt Hardy throwing Edge against the hotel wall.

"He's gonna ruin everything!" Hunter cursed and broke up the fight Edge and Matt were now having, "Will you two stop fighting over Lita she's clearly not worth it,"

Lita went red and not from embarrassment, "I was going to pull away," she said defiantly and Hunter rolled his eyes.

"Don't tell me, it was the bikini right?" Edge said derisively to Lita and Matt Hardy pushed him back onto Hunter.

"You forced her to kiss you, just like you forced her to end her relationship with me!" Matt roared angrily and Lita got hotter and hotter, the temperature soaring at an incredible rate as the three men who had made her life a living Hell over the last years of her career argued back and forth over her once again. She was at the breaking point, if Edge, Matt and Hunter didn't shut up she was going to destroy one of them in what was left of Tijuana with her Righteous Indignation.

"Hunter what's going on where's Shawn?" Chyna said coming over to them with LC and Aurora.

"He's warning Dominic about how dangerous sex can be, something you know all about right Lita?" Hunter said and that was all the Anointed one needed to hear.

"Daddy?" LC said as Hunter fell to the floor and didn't move, she clutched his hand but it fell limp and he wasn't breathing, "Daddy get up!" LC said shaking Hunter over and over again but the Cerebral Assassin didn't get up.

"Lita he's not moving, what did you do to him?" Chyna asked joining her dearest love and daughter on the ground.

"I killed him, he's dead," Lita replied simply and Chyna stared at her in shock.

"Why did you do that all he did was make some stupid jokes about you!" she asked furiously.

"I am under Divine mandate Joanie and anyone who hurts me dies, its as simple as that," Lita said and LC stamped on Lita's foot causing the red-head to hop up and down holding her sore toe.

"I'll die for that right, so now I can be with my Daddy in Heaven," the warrior princess said hopefully.

"Virgins are exempt, and he's not in Heaven, he lost his seat at the Right Hand of the Father when he disrespected me, he's in Hell now, just like Trish said he would be and now I know why," Lita said and LC broke down in tears over her father's dead body and Lita walked away leaving Matt and Edge in shock, if they had said one more thing it could have very easily been them laying on the sand with two broken hearted women crying over them but Lita showed them mercy, at least for now.


	18. Just the 2 of Us

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece?

Chapter Eighteen - Just the 2 of Us

Imperial Beach, 8pm:

Rey Mysterio and Shawn Michaels were sitting on the boardwalk of the Camino Real away from all the action talking about Dominic and Shaul and what would have happened if they hadn't used protection when they had sex. The conversation was so intense it turned HBK off the idea of having sex altogether, which was a problem considering he was two minutes away from the restaurant he was supposed to be meeting Lita in at 8 o'clock. Mysterio could see that Shawn was anxious and he assured the Showstoppa that he had nothing to worry about.

"It's gonna be fine Holmes," he said squeezing Shawn's shoulder compassionately, "Rebecca's at peace, she's with Eddie, Owen and the King of Kings, I know she's alright with this, it's time to make your move,"

Shawn sighed and brushed Rey's hand off his shoulder standing to his feet looking at the woman approaching La Diferencia, a fine Mexican gourmet restaurant wearing nothing more than a red bikini covered only by a Salome red-beaded pareo that only covered one leg.

"Mamacita!" Rey-Rey exclaimed when he saw Lita and removed his mask for a better look, Lita gasped in horror and tried to make him put it back on, "Lita I can't, you're too beautiful to miss," he said and kissed her incredibly warm hands, "Shawn I'll talk to you in the morning," he said to the Heartbreak Kid who nodded quickly and tried to remember how to think, Lita had just taken his mind off of everything he and Rey had been talking about for the past hour and she was wearing a bikini, and not just any bikini, the bikini he wanted to take off her the moment he saw it - it was blocking his view of her fabulous breasts.

"Is this okay?" he said pointing to La Diferencia and Lita noticed the many tourists gaping at them through the window and frowned; she knew what they were gaping at and she didn't want that kind of attention tonight.

"Can we go to La Strada it's more our type of people," she said trying to avoid their glares.

"And by our people you mean other wrestlers?" Shawn said displeased with the suggestion and Lita ruffled her brow.

"What's wrong with La Strada?" she said crossing her arms and the audience Shawn and Lita now had all around the broad walk started listening in on their conversation, "Don't wave to them!" Lita said pulling Shawn's hand down as he waved at the people but he put it back up and kept smiling at them, then he did the most unexpected thing, he put his arm around Lita and posed for the tourists, Lita was shocked, "Shawn they're taking our picture!" she cried terrified and she tried to hide her face in his shoulder which was barely covered by his white linen shirt that was almost open all the way down to his cowboy belt buckle.

"Relax Big Red you'll live longer," he said with a big Christian smile pulling Lita in closer till she could feel his key chain pressing against her bare leg, she looked down and saw that it had a picture of Cameron, Cheyenne and Rebecca attached to it.

"Do we need to talk about this baby?" Lita said and now it was Shawn's turn to freak out.

"Did you just call me baby?" he said in delight and Lita went redder than the bikini she was wearing, she looked into HBK's eyes and couldn't help but smile he was so happy to be with her in front of all these people, maybe now wasn't the time to tell him that she just killed his best friend, she needn't have worried since Trish was going to break that news to him anyway.

"Yeah I did . . . hey baby," she said wrapping a lock of her hair around her ear and doing the same to Shawn whose hair was loose and sitting proudly on his muscular shoulders, she kissed his nose and Shawn blanched.

"You can do better than that!" he exclaimed and the tourists began to chant "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" and just as Shawn and Lita were about to make everyone forget about the earthquake and the giant women that were fighting in the ocean only moments ago, Trish tore them apart knocking Lita onto Melina who held her at a safe distance from Shawn.

"No kissing before Saturday!" she yelled and the fans booed her heavily, Shawn tried to help Lita get away from Melina but Trish pushed him away, "I know something you don't!" she told him.

"What that Lita killed Hunter? I knew Miss. Know-It-All, I told her to kill him so we could have the night to ourselves, I'll bring him back to life when the date's over, don't you two have men of your own?" Shawn said coolly and Carlito, Randy and Nitro nodded impressed; HBK was the man in their eyes and they finally understood what women loved about him as he pulled Lita to her feet and escorted her into La Diferencia like she was the apple of his eye and at that point in time Lita was all he could think about, he'd deal with Hunter's man crush in the morning for now, it was just him and Big Red.

Trish shook her head as the wait staff told her and the Miraculous one to take a hike as cameras flashed wildly taking as many pictures of Shawn and Lita as possible.

"Shawn told Lita to kill Hunter so they could have some time alone together, why didn't I think of that?" she thought scratching her head; she kept forgetting that she and God operated on a 'need to know' basis.

"So what did she say are they gonna bring Daddy back to life?" LC asked tearfully holding her baby sister in her arms and Aurora slept soundly like she didn't have a care in the world.

"Your father's gonna be fine sweetie," Trish said with a warm smile stroking LC's tear-stained face, "Shawn and Lita just need a little quiet time that's all,"

LC turned to Chyna, Kevin, Scottie, XPac and the rest of the wrestlers that had followed ATM over to this side of the beach to get answers about Hunter's unexpected death and told them to go back to the Camino Real, "Show's over folks nothing to see here, my father's going to be fine he's just taking a real long nap," she explained but not very well as everyone was wondering how Shawn could be on a date with his best friend lying stiff as a board in front of the hotel entrance.

"Shawn!" Chyna called and Trish hit her hand over her head and the wrestlers began to yell at Shawn over each other creating quite a raucous outside La Diferencia. Melina shushed them but it was no use, the WWE guys were furious that the head guy of their promotion was dead and the TNA guys didn't want to get the blame for it: they wanted answers and they wanted it now. If they knew how pissed off Lita was before she even stepped into the restaurant maybe they wouldn't have been so tactless.

"Guys shut up and go back to the hotel!" Trish cried as she and Melina tried to push them back, "Hunter's just taking a nap okay, think of him as the Sleeping Cerebral Assassin, Shawn will wake him up in the morning and everything will be back to normal,"

"How?" XPac asked furiously.

"He'll wake Hunter with his Kiss of Life," Torrie Wilson replied and everyone turned to her as she cut through the crowd of wrestlers to the front of the restaurant and stared at the Anointed couple through the window, "the Kiss that saved my life," she said gratefully and blew Shawn a kiss of her own much to Trish and Melina's annoyance.

"The Kiss that saved my life," Ashley Massaro said somberly and did the same-thing.

"The Kiss that once had can never be replaced, " The Undertaker said and blew the Heartbreak Kid a kiss of his own.

"That does it!" Shawn snapped and threw the menu down, grabbed Big Red and stormed out of the restaurant with Lita by his side like a conjoined twin, his eyes were lit with rage and his hair was ablaze both red and blond turning gold while Lita's hair became the same and her hazel eyes turned to a dark blue.

"The Kiss that I will give Lita in 48 hours and none of you are invited!" he snapped and the wrestlers complained and started cussing HBK out, Matt Hardy and Edge appeared and tried to convince everyone to be quiet.

"You guys really don't want to get them mad," Matt explained and Edge agreed.

"Now that they're officially a couple they've got a Double Anointing," Trish explained and everyone frowned.

"What's a Double Anointing?" MVP asked scratching his cornrows and the restaurant began to shake as Shawn and Lita began to get hot, real hot, so hot that the ice in the restaurant freezer started to sizzle.

"Does that answer your question?" Edge said and MVP gulped understanding immediately.

"So instead of Lita getting mad and going Apocalyptic on all our heathen asses, Shawn Michaels gets to go nuts on us too? That sucks!" Mr. Kennedy asked and Trish and Melina felt like crying, "Hey Shawn, convert this!" he said and gave HBK the finger.

"Heathens, oye!" Melina sighed and together Trish and Melina took Shawn and Lita by the hand and smiled.

"Why don't you guys just wait until tomorrow to have your first date?" Melina suggested, "Tijuana's a mess anyway thanks to the earthquake, everyone's stuff is everywhere you guys aren't gonna convince these guys to go back to the hotel anytime soon,"

Melina snatched her hand away from Shawn and Trish snatched her hand away from Lita, they looked at their palms and saw the blisters that were there, Shawn and Lita were having their first date right now.

"GO AWAY!" they roared and the wrestlers flew back as did the majority of the people eating as a whoosh of heat came over the broad walk scaring everyone except Trish, Melina, El Con Dios and TKO who understood completely why Shawn and Lita were so pissed off…

As they burned with Double Righteous Indignation Lita looked ahead at the ocean and saw that it was clear, she pulled HBK down the steps towards the water and they jumped in. Everyone watched as the water parted revealing the water-bed and all the sea creatures beneath who were now without oxygen.

"Oh no the fishes are dying!" Lita said trying to bring a dying kelp back to life and Shawn shook his head.

"You've never gone fishing before?" he asked looking for wood as Lita tried to save as many fish as she could.

"No I'm a vegetarian, I don't eat meat," she explained and Shawn smiled to himself.

"Well I'll show you how to fish and you can watch me eat while you eat sand or something," he said creating a makeshift barbeque with two sticks and a few stones.

Lita pouted, "I don't eat red meat," she explained further as Shawn gutted a huge codfish right in front of her with his switch-blade, she was impressed the man could cook, this date just got interesting considering she didn't have a clue how to do what he was doing and neither did her previous two boyfriends who looked on from outside La Diferencia with curiosity.

"Are they having dinner in the ocean?" Nitro asked taking off his Gucci shades for a better look while the tourists went back to their meals and the wrestlers took photos with them and signed autographs.

"I guess Shawn's trying to show her what a rugged outdoors man he is," Melina thought playing with her hair as Lita watched Shawn catch a swordfish while she lit the makeshift barbeque on fire with her hot and holy hands.

Edge shook his head in disbelief, "She couldn't even light the stove when we were dating, now she just points and some rocks and they catch a fire?" he said bitterly, a pang of jealousy taking over him and Matt Hardy shook his head.

"There's nothing wrong with cooking for your woman," he said, "maybe if you wined and dined Lita instead of bumping and grinding on her for the last three years she'd still be with you,"

The wrestlers all laughed especially Chyna who gave Matt Hardy a hi-five, "Hunter's a great cook too Shawn used to cook for us all back in the day, its essential isn't it Trish?"

The Truth frowned taking a seat on the steps watching her sister in Christ take it slow like she suggested and Shawn was not rushing past this romantic part of their relationship either, it was great. She gave Chyna a People's Eyebrow, "What's that Joanie?" she asked and Chyna rolled her eyes and sat next to the former Women's Champion who was also one of her oldest rivals.

"You know, you love Carlito's cooking right?" she asked and Trish winked at her Puerto Rican lover who winked right back.

"There's nothing sexier than a man who knows how to cook," she said and Nitro and Shelton exchanged worried glances knowing Carlito couldn't get them to eat a grain of his food.

"I can't cook at all," Shelton confessed to Krystal.

"Maybe Shawn can give us some tips," Nitro suggested and Melina sank back onto Trish as Nitro and Shelton ran over to Shawn and Lita and interrupted them once again. The fire that Lita had created blazed so high it lit up the whole sky causing the wrestlers and tourists in La Diferencia to look out towards the ocean and see two muscular studs of different ethnic origins running away from Shawn and Lita with their pants on fire.

"For Heaven's Sake can't a couple eat in peace?" Shawn yelled angrily as Nitro and Shelton put their butts out in the water, Shawn growled at them and started to pack up the makeshift barbeque fervently, "Grab the Swordfish," he told Lita who obeyed wondering what HBK had in mind as he walked ahead making footprints in the sand as he went, he had really nice feet, they were almost as pretty as hers. She didn't know why that was important but she was sure it had something to do with sex, but there would be plenty of time for that, tonight Lita was eating with the best in the business and for once she didn't have to take her clothes off first.

As she followed the Heartbreak Kid who had removed his shirt and was walking only in his vanilla combat shorts and small silver cross, she couldn't help but watch his butt move from side-to-side; Edge and Matt were kind of challenged in that area, she wondered what it was gonna be like to be married to a man whose ass attracted more attention than her breasts, at least that's what she thought. Lita never really thought of how much men liked her breasts until she did the Rated R angle with Edge two years ago, watching Shawn walk put the whole 'sexy boy' thing in a different light.

"Ouch, Lita did you just grab my ass?" Shawn said rubbing the taut muscle while Lita smirked.

"I think it was Sebastian, you know that Caribbean crab from Little Mermaid?" she replied humorously and Shawn dropped the makeshift barbeque and stepped towards her undoing her beaded pereo and let it fall to her feet, he reached under the hem of her bikini bottom tracing a circle around the small of her back and felt on her booty.

"Sebastian told me to tell you to behave yourself until we get married," he replied and Lita laughed tying her pereo back around her hip as Shawn collected the wood that he dropped and kept on walking, Lita had only gotten a taste of what was to come but he came to an abrupt halt when she said his name and took a deep breath.

"Yes Lita?" he asked her afraid to turn around, if she looked at him again like that before the wedding there was no way they were leaving Mexico without having sex but Lita was counting on that, she just wanted to give Shawn a taste of what was to come too.

"I love Disney movies, why don't we take Cam and Chey to see Lion King next week? It would give them a chance to get to know me out of character," she said taking Shawn completely off guard.

"Sure sure, I'm totally free next week, oh wait I'm doing RAW on Monday," Shawn remembered suddenly hating his job, Lita told him to come closer, she looked into his eyes and smiled putting her hand on his face and almost kissed his ear with her mouth.

"No you're not doing RAW on Monday, you're doing me," she said and Shawn dropped the makeshift barbeque on his bare feet and hopped up and down in pain while Lita laughed and laughed.

"This is gonna be the best sex I've ever had," she told herself and continued on in the direction Shawn had been going in and found herself looking at Charlotte and Dan McCool's Predator 55 luxury motor yacht.

Shawn eventually hopped over as she stared at it impressed with the Xtreme Makeover Shawn and Matt had given it, it said DX To the Extreme on the side in green and blue metallic paint.

"Charlotte and Dan said we could keep it until tomorrow then they're gonna auction it off on eBay, what do you say Big Red, wanna go for a boat ride with the Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels?" Shawn said loving the way Lita's now dark blue eyes sparkled in the moonlight, he wanted her hair to go back to red though, it was suddenly his favorite color.

"I gotta say I think that's a really good way to end what has been one of the craziest days of my life," she said and Shawn nodded looking at the small church he told Hunter he loved Lita in just on the other side of the dock.

"Bet you can't tell what I'm thinking?" he said with a shy smile as Lita looked over at the little church.

"That's where you want to get married right?" Lita guessed and smiled as Shawn nodded, "I'll be there cowboy," she said and Shawn threw the sticks and stones to the ground and pulled her into a increasingly warm embrace, together like that they stayed, the night quiet and the water still and for the first time in a long time Shawn Michaels and Amy 'Lita' Dumas found a peace they both needed and rested in each others arm as their wrestler buddies and best friends looked on from the roof top of the Camino Real hotel enjoying the view.

"Hunter's gonna have a lot to compete with if he thinks he can break those two up," Trish said and Melina nodded.

"Ain't nothing or nobody gonna come between Shawn and Lita, Hunter will just have to accept that the days of him and Shawn running around and raising havoc on the wrestling world are over," Chyna said and Trish, Melina and Chyna clinked their glasses of tepid melted ice water together in a toast to the Anointed couple.

"Thank God!" they declared in unison and celebrated the couple with the WWE and TNA wrestlers who were so caught up in the romance on display between Shawn and Lita that they forgot they had to leave for America in the morning and would have to come back for the wedding.

"We can catch a ride back to LAX airport with Shawn and Lita!" Konnan said and the wrestlers started to call out to the Anointed couple all at once much to Trish and Melina fury. It didn't matter though, by the time the wrestlers reached the dock, Shawn and Lita were cruising along the open water swapping war stories and ideas for where to have their honeymoon, they weren't sure where they were going to go but it most definitely would be in a non-wrestling world, somewhere in a galaxy far-far-away.


	19. Love Interrupted

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece?

Chapter Nineteen - Love Interrupted

San Diego Airport, 9pm:

Vince, Shane and Linda McMahon were in line for a first class flight to Tijuana to find their WWE Superstars and warn them about TNA when The Rock, Jericho and Stephanie found themselves in the same queue only they were with Dixie Carter several people ahead.

Vince frowned, "What is Stephanie doing up there with Dixie?" he said and Linda marched over to her daughter and tapped her on the shoulder irritated.

"Stephanie Marie McMahon would you please explain yourself?" she said, "What are you doing here talking with the head of our rival TNA?"

Stephanie shrugged, "Jericho wants me to move out to Florida with him, Dixie was just recommending some places for me to live in Orlando,"

"Why?" Linda asked even more confused.

"Because Chris Jericho's coming to TNA Linda, that's why," Dixie said and Linda ran over to her husband and son and dragged them over to talk some sense into one of their biggest main events.

"Vince talk some sense into Jericho he wants to sign with TNA!" she cried and Vince blanched.

"There's no way in Hell any of my boys are coming to your neck of the woods Mrs. Carter, not Jericho, not Rocky, not DX, not nobody!" Vince insisted as they moved down toward the ticket lady.

"I'm afraid that all flights to Tijuana have been cancelled due to the earthquake and some unpredictable weather conditions, please remain seated until we have further information on when all flights to Mexico will resume," she said and everyone sighed.

"I guess we're staying here for awhile," The Rock sighed not wanting to hear anymore of Vince McMahon's voice for a lifetime, his lack of appreciation for everything DX had done for the company was getting to him, he was thinking of going to TNA as-well, he would hate to have what happened to Shawn and Hunter on RAW happen to him.

"I think you need to take stock of what TNA has taken from you in 5 short years, " Dixie said turning to Vince McMahon, "I've already got your boys Vince; Kurt, Christian, Rhyno, Team 3D, what can you offer Chris that I can't?" Dixie asked confident as they all moved down the lounge to find a comfortable spot to rest their world weary bones.

"I'll tell you what I can offer you Chris," Vince said to the Ayatollah of Rock N'Rolla who listened intrigued by the Chairman's offer, "A shot at the WWE Champion John Cena!"

"I'll take it!" Chris said ecstatically shaking Vince's hand but Dixie laughed at his gullibility.

"You don't believe that Vince McMahon is going to take the WWE Championship off of his biggest draw and put it on you after he screwed you out of your last Championship match at SummerSlam two years ago? He didn't think much of you then and he doesn't think much of you now," Dixie said and Shane frowned at the TNA owner angrily.

"What reason have The McMahons given you not to trust us Jericho? You were the first Undisputed Champion?" Shane argued, "We really don't have time for this we've got a wedding to go to, we can discuss this at a more convenient time,"

Jericho and Stephanie looked at each other confused, "You talking about Shawn and Lita's wedding?" Stephanie asked trying to muffle her laughter.

"Yes why is there something else we don't know about?" Vince said getting annoyed.

"No you know everything there is to know, except the fact that Shawn and Lita didn't invite you," Dixie Carter said turning to the next page of her magazine casually while Stephanie and Jericho laughed at how hurt Vince, Shane and Linda looked.

"How did you even know they were getting married in Tijuana they only announced it a few hours ago?" Jericho asked holding his stomach with laughter.

"We were just going to San Diego to pick up their wedding gift, where's your present?" Stephanie asked her familia who just scowled at her.

"And after all we've done for you Stephanie Marie McMahon," Linda said holding her hand against her heart in disappointment, "You're selling out your own family to the devil woman of TNA!"

Now it was Dixie Carter's turn to laugh, she closed her magazine and addressed the McMahons directly, "Guys please don't make accusations you can't back up, now unless you've actually been to Hell and seen the woman the devil's sleeping with, you have no right to call me that Linda. Why don't you celebrate the fact that your daughter's finally going to with the man she loves rather than that over-rated piece of crap you call The Game?" Linda said.

"Are you gonna sit there and let this Confederate cow talk about your ex-husband like that?" Vince McMahon asked his daughter who shrugged.

"Daddy she's right; Hunter's not the man he used to be, I was wrong he's not the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, Jericho is,"

Stephanie put her hand on her father's knee gently with a soft smile on her face, "I'm sorry Daddy I wasted so much of your time and money defending Triple H and his degenerate friends, if it makes you feel better Jericho and I have decided not to get married right away, you won't have to foot the bill until maybe 2010," Stephanie said and kissed Jericho much to her family's horror.

"I'm the happiest man alive - Dad!" Jericho said with a big smile on his face, Vince sank back in his seat as The Rock came over and handed him a bag of peanuts.

"Nuts?" he asked his Brahma smile lighting up his handsome face the way Hunter's used to light up Stephanie's.

"I couldn't have said it better myself," Vince said dejected and ravaged the small bag of peanuts while Linda and Shane ignored Stephanie and Jericho realizing that they owed DX a huge apology, they were all they had left of the Attitude Era and if they kept on hating on them, it wouldn't be long before they too left Stamford, Connecticut for Dixieland, Florida and they didn't think that would go down too well with a certain baby girl by the name of Aurora Rose Helmsley who was attached to Connecticut as she was to her rattle. It was then that Vince McMahon realized that his disowned grand-daughter was the key to all this; if he could prove that Stephanie leaving Connecticut for Florida would endanger the country, maybe he could get out of having to pay for yet another extravagant wedding that would no doubt end in yet another divorce.

"Hey check this out," Shane said waving his mother and father over to the window where a brightly colored motor yacht was cruising across the ocean, "Is that not the coolest motor yacht you've ever seen?" he said impressed and Jericho, Stephanie and Rocky came over for a look.

"What is that written on the side?" Rocky asked chugging some coffee observing the florescent green and blue paint job, "It looks like SUCK IT," he observed and The McMahons pressed their faces against the glass for a closer look.

"It's DX!" Vince yelled reading the trademark tag.

"If DX hadn't stolen our motor yacht we could chase after them and beg their forgiveness!" Linda said.

"The McMahons never beg!" Vince said power-walking over to the ticket lady, "Excuse me ma'am I'd like to report a robbery,"

"What property have you lost sir?" the lady asked him and Vince pointed to the motor yacht aboard which a newly engaged Shawn and Lita were blissfully cruising aboard engrossed in their own company.

"That's my motor yacht those degenerates are riding, I demand you alert the coast guard and report them immediately to the local authorities right here in San Diego!" Vince said his eyes alive with mischief as the lady got on the phone and report the alleged theft to the local authorities as the WWE Chairman requested.

"What did you say to her?" Linda McMahon asked as her husband came back over to his family and Superstars rubbing his hands together in victory.

"I told her to bring Shawn and Hunter right here right now," Vince said proudly.

"What are you gonna do when they haul their dumb-asses in?" Shane asked curiously feeling mischievous himself.

"I'm gonna tell them what they've been wanting to hear for as long as I've known them: I'm sorry," Vince said and The McMahons covered their mouths in shock; for them, Hell just froze over because the decade-long war between The McMahons and DeGeneration X was going to end tonight.

"Shouldn't you wait until RAW to do something so historical?" Rocky said like the savvy sports entertainer that he was.

"I can't take the chance of them going to TNA before the wedding this weekend Rock, I have to make peace with the little bastards tonight," Vince said, he hoped that this act of benevolence would also convince Rocky and Jericho to stay in the WWE too, as the war between TNA and the WWE ran wild throughout the wrestling world his time to save the company that had made him so very, very rich several times over and the men and women who had made that possible was running out.

"That reminds me I have to fire Carlito," Vince said and The Rock gasped in horror.

"What?" he said.

"Rock please no Stone Cold impressions, I've had enough attitude for one day, " the Chairman said and Rocky shook the man back and forth hoping to shake some sense into him.

"I'm talking about Carlito why are you gonna fire the little apple-biter he hasn't done anything to anyone?" Rocky asked frantically worried what this news was gonna do to Trish Stratus.

"He hasn't shown up for work in months, he's obviously not interested in becoming WWE Champion the only mountain he wants to climb are the Toronto Twins of Trish Stratus," Vince explained and Rocky pinched the bridge of his nose in distress.

"Vince listen to me, you cannot do this to Carlito, he is the apple of Trish Stratus' eye - no pun intended," Rocky said.

"Exactly," Vince said and Rock frowned in confusion and Mr. McMahon explained to everyone why firing Carlito was a good idea, "I'm gonna use Carlito to get Trish Stratus to come back to RAW full-time,"

Shane and Linda nodded impressed, "That's a great idea, she'll never do anything to upset her darling Carlito," Shane said mocking Trish and Carlito with mock kisses to his mother and Rocky felt sick.

"That's it I'm out you McMahons are truly insane, Dixie sign be up baby, The Rock's coming to TNA!" The Rock announced walking up to Mrs. Carter.

"Oh no my man you're not going anywhere because you're the one whose gonna tell Trish to come back to RAW full-time!" Vince snapped defiantly.

"What are you crazy? She's got truth-telling abilities she's The Truth: Trish Stratus she's gonna know you made me do it and then she'll sic Lita on you!" Rocky said alarmed by Vince's stupidity and the WWE Chairman laughed casually to himself.

"But you won't be telling a lie Rocky, you'll be telling her the truth, the truth that you've been suppressing inside that big muscular heart of yours for the last 5 years, and that's that you're still in love with her,"

Jericho gawked as Rocky sunk his head into his chest ashamed and Vince slapped hands with Shane and Linda triumphantly and dusted off his shoulder proudly, "Man I'm good!" Vince said loving the pain the Truth showed in Rocky's eyes as he came to grips with the gravity of what the Chairman of the Board wanted him to do,

"I can't believe you didn't tell me," Jericho said hurt.

"Well you've been a little hard to talk to recently Third Eye Blind," Rocky retorted sarcastically but Jericho was genuinely hurt; Rocky and Y2J never kept secrets from each other and Chris had no idea Rocky was still holding a candle for Trish all this time that he was going through Hell with Stephanie and Hunter.

"And you have to audacity to give me and Stephanie a hard-time?" Jericho yelled angrily and Rocky pushed him away angrily but Jericho pushed him back, "You're wrong Rocky, what are you gonna tell your wife and kids?"

"They already know I haven't spoken to my wife in months why do you think she hasn't been home in so long? She's been staying at her mother's with the girls, I didn't know how to tell you okay?" Rocky explained in his own defense and Jericho shook his head in disbelief that Rocky had kept this from him for so long.

"Next week on RAW you're gonna make a choice Rock; either convince Trish Stratus to come back full-time so I can keep the ratings up after Shawn and Lita get married or I fire Carlito, this is your problem to fix so I suggest you fix it," Vince said callously and Rocky nodded too tired to argue with the craziest Chairman in the wrestling world.

Suddenly Shawn and Lita were in their midst handcuffed and pissed off that their first date as an Anointed couple had been interrupted yet again.

"Vince this better be good!" HBK said wrangling himself free from the security guard about to hit him with some Sweet Chin Music when Lita stopped him, "Let me go Lita I wanna tune up the band sweetie," he said as the Anointed one grabbed his ankle making him hop on one foot.

"The only person you should be super-kicking is him," Lita said pointing to Vince McMahon, "I don't work for you anymore Vincenzo, you messed up royal when you dragged us off the DX to the Extreme!"

Jericho and Stephanie frowned at each other, "The what?" they asked confused.

"The DX to the Extreme its our motor yacht, Charlotte and Dan McCool gave it to us as an engagement present, hint-hint," Lita explained and Stephanie and Jericho made gagging noises, Lita smiled and blew a kiss at them that almost burned the cocky smiles right off their faces.

"Easy Big Red I don't think the burn unit has any room for anymore of our haters," Shawn said pulling Lita over to his side and eye-balling the Chairman of the Board who didn't have enough patience for this unexplainable pairing that he never would have dreamed of scripting in his entire career as a wrestling promoter_; Shawn and Lita, who woulda thunk it? _The Chairman thought,

"You got two seconds to explain yourself Vince before I kick your false teeth down your throat!" Shawn snarled and Vince rolled his eyes.

"What are you doing with Edge's left-overs and where is Triple H? I have something I need to say to both of you," Vince said ignoring Shawn's threat but quickly ran behind The Rock as Shawn raised his foot nearly kicking the miserable mogul's head off, Shawn quickly lowered his foot and his temper when he saw the dejected face of the Brahma Bull.

"Do you miss Hunter too?" Shawn asked humorously patting The Rock on the shoulder, "Don't worry he'll be up and running tomorrow morning, he's just talking a long nap," Shawn said winking at Lita who winked right back her eyes darting between the McMahons and Dixie Carter wondering why they were in the same seating area with no security guards around.

"Lita what are the odds of Trish coming out of retirement?" Rocky asked Shawn's Anointed other half who laughed at the Brahma Bull's question.

"She'd never come back to the WWE, she's enjoying life with Carlito in Florida, if she ever came back to wrestling she'd most probably stay down South," Lita said and Dixie Carter came into the conversation.

"So your saying Trish Stratus would come to TNA?" Dixie asked delighted with the idea of Trish as a TNA Knockout, her credentials would really help get the Women's Division off the ground.

"Yeah but only because she lives in Florida, why you ask?" Lita asked her ex-boss who just gave her his trademark evil grin and looked in The Rock's direction and Lita knew there was something terribly wrong.

"Because she may not have a choice," Rocky said wiping the tears from his eyes and Shawn looked at Vince thinking he had something to do with The Rock's fallen demeanor, "If she doesn't come back to RAW Vince is gonna fire Carlito,"

"No he's not," Shawn said nonchalantly and Vince got hot hating the way Shawn Michaels always under-minded his authority in public.

"Yes I am!" Vince said.

"No you're not you wanna know why? Because Trish knows you would never do anything to hurt her, she's your favorite Women's Champion, and that's the Gospel Truth," Shawn said confident in his assessment of the situation and The Rock turned away looking out of the window and Lita and Shawn came over to him concerned.

"Vince would never do anything to hurt Trish Stratus but I will," he said tearfully and Shawn and Lita looked at each other confused then Rocky told them what they really didn't need to hear on their first date as an Anointed Couple, "I'm still in love with Trish," Rocky confessed, "And she's still in love with me,"

"But you're married, you've got two kids - I really thought you were happily married!" Shawn said confused.

"I thought the same about you Shawn, I guess after all this time we were both lying to ourselves," Rocky said and Lita got hot looking out over the water and Shawn banged his head against the glass in dismay.

"STRATUS!" Lita cried shattering the glass and everyone except Shawn ducked for cover as the shards rained down on them all and her voice radiated throughout the lounge over the water all the way to Tijuana where a troubled Trish Stratus could hear it, not that she was surprised; after all she was The Truth: Trish Stratus and this was one Truth Trish Stratus could no longer hide.


	20. Whoop That Trick!

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: T

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece?

A/N: This chapter contains some sexual references and is rated T.

Chapter Twenty - Whoop That Trick!

Back in Tijuana, Shawn and Lita rode the DX to the Extreme back to the Camino Real to have it out with Trish Stratus. Rocky was reluctant to come but Jericho and the McMahons told him he Carlito deserved to know what was going on.

As soon as DX to the Extreme touched the shore Lita ran towards the guilt-ridden blond making a circle in the sand with her feet; she was surrounded by the WWE and TNA wrestlers who wanted to know how Lita could scream her name like that all the way from San Diego unless she had done something really wrong.

"So what did she do?" Victoria asked Lita who was in no mood for talking.

"She um, fell in love with another man," HBK explained on Lita's behalf and tilted his head towards The Rock and everyone gasped then turned to look at Carlito who had just frozen in mid-bite of an apple.

"What are you talking about Shawn, Trish is in love with me?" Carlito said and the Showstoppa bit his lip and tried to bide some time before bringing Carlito to terms with the situation.

"You know how Hunter thought he was in love with Stephanie?" he started gently and Carlito started to get irritated, "Well it turns out that I was right and she is not the woman my best friend is supposed to spend the rest of his life with,"

Stephanie gave HBK a dark look, "Why are you bringing me into this you asshole?" she said and Lita slapped her across the face causing all the wrestlers to gasp, Shane went for Lita but he backed away when he saw how hot she was getting, it was then that he remembered exactly who she was and that she had the Divine Authority to strike down anyone who disrespected her or those she loved, she could strike down anyone in the name of God, even a McMahon and Christianity seemed like a really cool religion all of a sudden, better than McMahonism anyway.

"Whoop that trick!" JTG cried out and Shad, Shelton, Krystal and Nitro joined in saying "Whoop that trick" over and over again much to Vince McMahon's chagrin.

"SHUT UP!" he yelled and they did, then he turned to Lita and thanked her for doing what he'd wanted to do for the last few hours and Stephanie balked in shock and Jericho pulled her into a hug and kissed her down to the ground. HBK turned away from the gratuitous make out scene in disgust.

"You see what I'm talking about? For the last few years she's been wanting to do that with Jericho and after being called everything from a junkie to a gay guy, now ya'll know that HBK knows every trick in the book when it comes to women,"

The wrestlers all nodded but Carlito was still confused, Shawn Michaels was about to explain further when Randy Orton interrupted him.

"Shawn with all due respect I think you've said enough, come with me Trish, I want to show Carlito exactly what's going on here," Randy said taking Trish by the hand towards the ocean. He got in taking her with him, eventually he stopped and looked directly at Carlito, "What is God saying to you?" he asked.

"He said watch the water," Carlito replied as God spoke to him and he came towards the water with everyone following him and saw the sum of all his nightmares all at once, "No no, this can't be?" he cried as an image of Rocky and Trish kissing appeared over the water's surface and Carlito stormed towards Trish and shook her furiously, "You said it was over, you said you didn't feel that way about him anymore, were you lying to me that whole time?"

"We stopped sleeping together that's the only thing that changed, but my heart . . ." Trish broke off and started to weep but Carlito shook her back into the conversation, "My heart is still anchored to his Carlos, I can't help it, as much as I love you and we are eternal soul-mates, my heart here on Earth belongs to Rocky, and that's the Truth,"

Carlito was so angry he wanted to slap her but Randy caught his hand before it came down on her face, "Are you loco? Lita's right there!" Randy reminded him as the Anointed one looked on.

"I say slap her," Lita said indifferently and Melina looked at Lita shocked.

"What did you just say?" she asked her sister in Christ.

"I'm sorry mi hermana but I'm too Anointed to lie, Trish Stratus deserves the biggest bitch slap ever, she some how has managed to pull it off once again and has succeeded in turning the attention off the biggest day of my life and over to her and her laundry list of dirty secrets. I thought you were past this now Trish, God gave you the ability to see the Truth before it even happens so you would stop breaking men's hearts and here you are less than 2 days before my wedding to the greatest wrestler of all time - "

"She's talking about me everybody just in case there was any confusion," HBK said proudly and Chyna gagged his mouth wanting to hear what her little Kliq sister had to say.

" - And now Carlito's heart is broken too," Lita finished marching into the water which turned hot immediately as she stepped in making Randy and Trish hop out back onto the sand but she followed them heating up wherever they went, "So what now Stratus? Are you gonna put Carlito through the pain of hearing some flimsy excuse explaining why you strung him along for so long or are you going to admit that you just wanted to have your cake and eat it too?"

"What?" Trish frowned confused by the expression.

"Sweetie she's Canadian she don't know what that means," Shawn told Lita and put on his soft church counselor voice clasping his hands together and smiling beatifically at the down-hearted blond, "What my Anointed other half is saying Trish is are you going to be sleeping with Carlito tonight then running off to sleep with Rocky afterwards?"

"Or maybe just thinking about him in the bathroom while Carlito's asleep that counts as cheating too," Melina said and everyone looked at her and she shrugged, "What? It's called an emotional affair and it counts as cheating in the spiritual realm,"

"When you fantasize about someone is cheating?" Nitro said feeling incredibly guilty all of a sudden as did most of the other wrestlers.

"Jesus said adultery is committed in the heart, if your heart is in love with another and you dream out them, you're just as bad as someone who actually cheats on their other half," Melina said looking at Lita indicating that she was the one she was talking about.

"Everybody knows I'm promiscuous honey so that ain't nothing new," Lita said, "What nobody knew is that Trish was having emotional sex with Rocky while actually having sex with Carlito, that makes you the promiscuous one!"

"That's not fair Amy, I love Carlito!" Trish countered tears burning down her cheeks.

"I know you do Patricia, but you don't love him with all your heart!" Lita replied and Trish sank down into her hands and cried bitterly.

"Your right I'm a bitch, I guess not even the gift God gave me can change that," Trish said and Vince called her over and pulled her into a hug.

"You know you can take you frustration out in the ring if you come back to RAW full-time, I mean now that you and Carlito are no more you don't really have anything to do with your spare-time, you can't chase demons for the rest of your life, Melina's having a baby, Lita's getting married to a walking enema, you can come back now can't you?" he said callously and Rocky wanted to kill him right there and then.

"Don't do it Rocky even though I feel the same way, killing Vince is not the way to solve this," Trish told her old flame which is turns out was still burning brightly in her.

"I want everyone to come out of this without getting hurt," The Rock said and Shawn laughed.

"That's highly unrealistic," he said.

"No it isn't," Rocky said coming over to the Heartbreak Kid with a desperate look in his eye, "Use your Kiss of Life to take the pain away from Carlito and it will be like he and Trish were never a couple!"

"What?" Shawn said horrified.

"Shawn no more Stone Cold impressions!" Vince barked and HBK crotch-chopped him, "What kind of Christian crotch-chops his boss?" Vince asked his wife who shrugged, she was more interested in what Shawn was gonna do with his lips rather than his crotch.

"Shawn I can't be with Trish like this, not with Carlito wanting to kill me, take away his anger, his hurt and his pain with your Kiss of Life please I'm begging you!" Rocky pleaded and Shawn scratched his face nervously.

"I dunno what's gonna happen I mean, he could forget about Trish altogether," Shawn said contemplating the idea.

"That's good, it's better than hating us for the rest of his life, at least with your Kiss of Life he can move on," Rocky reasoned.

"But all the memories, all the time they shared together will all be forgotten, it will be like they never even met!" Shawn explained and Rocky looked over at Trish who looked over at Carlito who was staring daggers at them both.

"I don't think that's worth the risk of him going to prison for murder of two WWE Superstars," Rocky said and Shawn looked over at El Con Dios, he did indeed have that murderous glint in his eye.

"Trish are you sure you want to leave Carlito for Rocky because once I do this I can't undo it," Shawn told Trish who looked at her sisters in Christ for counsel; Melina looked genuinely concerned but Lita was seriously pissed that this was happening on her first date with Shawn Michaels; everything was going great, they swapped war stories, talked about the wedding, the honeymoon and the possibility of having a baby and now it was officially the worse first date she had ever had in her life and if Trish thought she was gonna let this slide she was as dumb as she was blond.

"We only get two loves in life Trish, the one we choose and the one we reject," Lita said and turned to her Anointed other half, "No matter what you do baby, Trish will still hold a candle for Carlito, so Kiss him, don't Kiss him, whatever you do our night is ruined and maybe our wedding too, anybody wants me I'll be in the morgue with Hunter," Lita said walking away from them all and heading towards the makeshift morgue that the Kliq had made for Hunter; it was just a slab of wood packed in ice and would be the perfect place for the angry Anointed one to cool off before she killed everyone with her Righteous Indignation which was at boiling point now.

"Okay Carlito come here," Shawn said reluctantly but the cool one stood still and made no movement, he too was boiling over with rage, Shawn sighed and walked over to him. He put his arm on Carlito's shoulder and Carlito tried to get away from him which was pointless; Shawn had no problem kissing people even men thanks to Edge and he locked his mouth on Carlito's and melted his rage with his soft lips and sweet breath, drawing all the anger, all the hurt, all the pain out of El Con Dios until he was back to his normal cool self.

"Shawn I like girls," Carlito said pushing St. Michaels away and wiping off his face in disgust, "I always knew there was something funny about you culo, that was not cool!" he said and Shawn couldn't help but laugh and turned to Trish and Rocky.

"You're in the clear, Carlito's back to his normal self, don't be surprised if he treats you like he doesn't know you okay?" Shawn said and ran off to the makeshift morgue to find Lita and see his old friend who he decided had been asleep for long enough.

Trish turned Carlito towards her and searched his face for a flicker of recognition but Shawn was right, he didn't look like the man she fell in love with and shared six blissful months with, he just looked like another one of her many, many, many admirers.

"Can I help you?" he asked Trish as she gazed into his eyes and held his arm like she couldn't let it go.

"I just wanted to tell you thank you for saving me from Randy Orton that time on RAW, it was really brave," Trish said to see if he would remember something that happened just before she left RAW.

"Oh yeah, no problem," Carlito said and turned to see everyone staring at him, "What's going on?" he asked.

"Do you even remember the last few hours?" Melina asked concerned.

"Sure, I saved Trish from Randy Orton and he said she was a bitch and that she wasn't worth my time, is there something I don't know?" Carlito asked scratching his afro and everyone shook their head giving Trish a look of disproval.

"No that's pretty much it," Nitro said pulling Carlito over to him and walked away from Trish and Melina.

"Randy I'm sorry I was in way over my head, please don't hate me," Trish said and TKO rubbed the back of his head not sure how honest he should be at this point.

"I'm on an assignment to help you, after Shawn and Lita get married ATM disband and Jeff Hardy comes back to Earth. I think things should just go back to normal, if you decide to come back to RAW I don't talk to you and you don't talk to me," Randy said and Trish tried to change his mind but Randy felt bad for a guy he really didn't like up until recently, but being a Christian changed his attitude towards love and how much it could hurt you, "I think I'll use my God given talent to help those who need help in the love department, I think you'll be just fine without me, Carlito and Shawn to look after you, see you later and I hope you and Rocky are very happy together," he said and walked up to Carlito and Nitro with the rest of the WWE Superstars who were filling Carlito in on the last time he was on RAW because he had forgotten everything thanks to Shawn's Kiss of Life. Melina rubbed Trish's arm reassuringly and Chris Jericho and Stephanie came towards them.

"Welcome to my world," Stephanie said and Trish buried her head in Rocky's chest as the two couples walked along the sand to talk about how they were going to make this up to Lita and Shawn in the morning.

"Can't you heal them Melina?" LC asked her innocently, "I don't think Trish should feel bad for who she falls in love with, I know I don't," she said kissing Cameron on the cheek.

"Speak for yourself," Carla said rolling her eyes and LC shoved her onto the ground.

"I thought you said you were okay with me and Cam-Cam hooking up?" she protested angrily while Carla got back to her feet and dusted the sand off her skirt.

"I am I just haven't adjusted to being single yet," Carla said and Melina picked the little blond Canadian up in her arms and squeezed her lovingly.

"You have your whole life to fall in love sweetie you're only seven," Melina said.

"Well everyone's hooking up why can't I hook up?" Carla said folding her arms crossly and Melina handed her over to Charlotte and Dan.

"There's a long way to go before you find your true love Carla, for now why don't you hang with Dan and I and make us fall in love with you all over again?" Charlotte said and Carla smiled and hugged her adoptive mother lovingly while Chyna and LC looked on fondly then they hurt a huge yelp and knew instantly that Papa Bear was awake.

"C'mon let's go see Daddy," Chyna said lifting LC up and going to the source of the howling.

In the hotel basement, Lita was warming Hunter with her hot hands drying his body which was ice cold thanks to the makeshift morgue Kevin Nash, Scott Hall and Sean Waltman had made for him in about 30 seconds.

"You think this is over Lita? I saw you kissing Edge outside this hotel, you're not gonna screw Shawn the way you screwed Matt, not as long as I'm alive!" Hunter hissed through his chattering lips which were still blue. HBK smiled and leaned forward, kissing the color back into Hunter's lips which the Cerebral Assassin liked a lot, a little too much actually as he pulled Shawn in for a much deeper kiss.

"Whoa!" the WWE and TNA wrestlers gasped at the same time as Shawn Kissed the color back into Hunter's cheeks, his hands and his entire body with his Kiss of Life. Hunter felt the life rush back to his half-frozen body like he had just been struck by lightning. The ice around them completely melted and Lita dried them both with the heat coming from her hands.

"Okay Shawn he's done, pull away slowly," Lita said and the Showstoppa obeyed separating himself from Hunter at the mouth but leaving his hands on his best friend's face.

"Was it everything you thought it would be?" Shawn asked humorously and Hunter brushed his thumb over Shawn's hot lips to cool them off.

"You're so gay," Hunter joked.

"Actually he's male version of Lita, in fact, I think you too will be very happy together . . . for at least a month then you'll both find someone new to screw," Bret said and Shawn sent a fireball in his direction disintegrating him on impact.

"I need a container," Shawn said looking around as the horrified faces stared in horror at the charred ashes that Bret Hart had suddenly become.

"Here use my boot!" LC said taking off her big black leather army boot and Shawn scraped up Bret Hart's ashes and headed back outside with them.

"What the Hell is he doing?" Scott Hall asked Kevin Nash as everyone followed Shawn back down to the beach.

"He's finishing what Bret Hart started," Hunter replied watching Shawn get the closure he needed so badly before he moved on with the rest of his life.

"Melina bless the water, I need you to use your miraculous healing powers to cleanse Bret Hart's soul and set his spirit free," Shawn said to the Miraculous one who nodded rubbing her hands together and praying over the water. As she spoke Shawn emptied Bret out onto the water throwing LC's boot in and everyone watched as the water began to move rising into the shape of a man, when it dispersed Bret Hart was standing there.

"Oh my God!" Chyna gasped in shock along with everyone else; Shawn and Melina had brought Bret Hart back from the dead, only this time he was new and improved, just like DX. The Hitman pushed his hair out of his face and looked like his old self, rugged, handsome and most important of all, at peace with himself and everyone around him.

"Hey towel boy!" he said to Shawn Michaels, "What you just gonna stand there get me a towel already!" he said and Shawn ran over to him and jumped on him knocking Bret over with a crash into the water while Hunter watched jealously making sure Bret didn't take any liberties with his best friend.

"That's enough!" he said marching into the water and pulling Bret back but Shawn and Bret both pulled him in too, the healing water coursed over his body and he felt as peaceful as they did, he saw Shawn as he was for the first time clearly and that was as a happy man. He stroked Shawn's head and kissed him on the forehead, "Congratulations on your wedding Shawn, it would be my pleasure to walk with you down the isle,"

Bret and Shawn frowned at each other and Hunter realized what he said came out wrong, "I mean I would love to be your best man on Saturday," he said with a smile and Shawn cried tears of joy that his past, present and future where all taken care of thanks to the Melina the Miraculous and the powerful healing ability of the Holy Spirit.

"Thank you Jesus," he said and hugged them both knowing that a miracle had just taken place.

Jesus told Shawn he was welcome and Jeff Hardy, Eddie Guerrero, Owen Hart and Rebecca Michaels all cried as they watched with the King of Kings from the comfortable seat at the Father's Right Hand in Heaven.

"Hold your peace people the assignment is far from complete," Jesus warned them and they all looked down wondering what was going to happen next.

"Hey where's Nitro?" Melina said looking around as everyone applauded her and Shawn's awe-inspiring powers, she walked back up to the hotel and went into the basement where she threw up and not from morning sickness but from her husband kissing Brooke from Extreme Expose.

"Randy!" she screamed and ran back out of the hotel to find the man who told her that was going to happen and she didn't believe him, maybe she was wrong about Johnny, maybe God was trying to tell her what He told Trish and Lita, that love was a choice and it looked like she too had chosen the wrong man.

Lita didn't chase after her the Anointed one watched as everyone went to see what was wrong with her other sister in Christ, leaving her and Shawn alone on the shore of the Imperial Beach where they continued on from where they left off.

"So red's your favorite color?" Lita asked the Showstoppa as he swam over to her pulling her into his arms by her pereo which had come loose in his hands leaving her only in the red bikini he loved oh so much, "How come you like red?" Lita asked him rubbing her hand down his chest and tracing the fine chest hair with her trembling fingertips. Trish warned them what would happen if they made out before the wedding, she said there would be a "cataclysmic reaction" and judging from the loss of consciousness threatening her as she breathed against HBK's chest, Trish was telling the absolute truth for a change. Shawn breathed in her hair and kissed the wet surface sending waves all around them from the contact, he had no intention of rushing her . . . at least not until she was begging him to then nothing was gonna stop him from making love to her, not even the memory of his dearly departed wife and what she accused him of all the time they were married.

"It used to be green but as soon as I saw you that all changed," Shawn whispered and bit into her exposed neck until she pulled back panting breathless and looking at him with a desire urgently needing to be filled, he smiled and got out of the water watching her as he walked backwards up the shore, "I can see you need some time alone, so I'll see you in the morning Big Red," he said with a wry smile and Lita wanted to run him down, pull of his vanilla shorts and wrap herself around him like fitted glove but right now she couldn't even blink thinking everything that she had just felt in the last few encounters with Shawn Michaels would disappear as she awoke from her own personal American Dream.

"This is going to be the best sex I've ever had," she said to herself as Shawn walked over to the Kliq leaving her alone to have a private rapture resting in the confines of the healing water throwing her head back and smiling like a virgin, knowing that there was love in her future of that she was certain.

"Why isn't Lita getting out of the water?" Cameron wondered scratching his head as the red-head sat on the sea bed chanting his father's name over and over again like a Catholic prayer, "Is she okay?"

LC and Carla giggled knowing Lita was more than okay, "She's fine let's go," LC said hugging Cameron over to her with Carla. Both girls knew that when the time was right, they was going to chant their true love's name like that someday but not before they were old enough to vote; Shawn and Lita were proof that the best things come to those who wait and from the sound of it Lita had waited long enough.


	21. Water Babies

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece?

Chapter Twenty One - Water Babies

Imperial Beach, midnight:

Nobody was gonna get any sleep tonight, especially with Melina and Nitro yelling hurtful accusations at each other, Lita wasn't the only one who wanted some quiet time.

"Gees are they ever gonna stop?" Hunter said cozying up to Chyna who hugged him close to her chest tenderly. A makeshift fire burned in the middle of the beach keeping the wrestlers warm, everyone was huddled around like ladybirds trying to keep warm in the winter but hearing Mr. and Mrs. Hennigan argue was sending a cold chill down their spines.

"Its gonna be difficult to get some sleep tonight," Chyna said and Hunter sighed and kicked HBK who was sound asleep dreaming about Lita.

"I do the kicking around here!" Shawn said angrily as Hunter pulled him up to a sitting position by his hair.

"Ow what's with your hair it's so hot!" Hunter said shaking out his hand and the other wrestlers started to warm their cold hands over Shawn's head while the Showstoppa sat like a Buddha thinking about Lita again.

Shad and JTG looked at each other as something caught their ears, "Did you hear that?" JTG said and Shad nodded as a howl came from the dock, "Either I'm dreaming or Lita's at it again," Shad said and Edge nodded.

"Definitely the last thing you said," he said with a cheeky grin and Matt Hardy slapped him around the head sending his taco into the fire, "You owe me 1,000 pesos!" Edge complained.

"Well watch your mouth, don't talk about Lita like you know how to get her excited like that," Matt replied and Edge was about to tear into them when the makeshift fire blazed up wildly and Shawn's hair was burning so brightly you could see it in the dark.

"Sorry Shawn!" Edge and Matt Hardy said at the same-time and the fire blazed even higher, "Sorry St. Michaels!" they corrected themselves and Shawn cooled down.

"Um Anointed guy, you missed my eyebrows by like that much!" Hunter said shielding his eyes from the bright flame Shawn's Righteous Indignation ignited along with everybody else.

"Nobody talk about Lita no more, now let's talk about the band, Edge who did you pick to sing at me and Lita's wedding?" Shawn asked his eyes going back to normal and everyone missing the heat and found themselves filling cold again.

"My nipples are gonna cut through my shirt at this point," Mickie James complained to Victoria, Candice and Torrie, "I say we trash Lita some more who's with me?"

Torrie, Candice and Victoria looked at each other deviously and decided to have a little fun at the former Women's Champion's expense, "We're with you MJ," Victoria said, Mickie James smiled and got to her feet.

"Shawn I wrote a song about Lita and I think you should sing it at your wedding wanna hear it?" MJ said enthusiastically and Shawn smiled impressed with Mickie James gracious offer.

"Sure let me hear it!" he said enthusiastically too and Victoria, Torrie and Candice started to regret supporting this rib.

"I think I'll take a swim," Victoria said and Torrie and Candice nodded.

"Wait for us!" the Playboy Cover girls said running behind her much to the other wrestlers' confusion. A powerful wave sent the three Divas flying back and the makeshift fire was put out instantly.

"This is the last time I'm telling you people to go away!" Lita yelled from the middle of the ocean not wanting to be disturbed from her rapturous thoughts and Shawn got up to join her when Mickie James pulled him back.

"Wait Shawn I haven't sung my song yet!" she said earnestly.

"No Mickie no!" Victoria, Torrie and Candice exclaimed in a panic.

"Okay come with me, you can sing it to us both," Shawn said hugging Mickie James to him and escorting her to that fiery red-head smoldering in the cool blue ocean and Victoria, Torrie and Candice thought they might have a heart-attack but decided to stay well away from the explosion that was about to take place one Shawn and Lita heard MJ's ode to the Lita of old.

"Lita Mickie James wrote a song and she wants me to sing it at our wedding isn't that wonderful?" Shawn beamed enthusiastically and Lita cocked a suspicious People's Eyebrow at the Heartbreak Kid.

"She did?" Lita asked pulling Shawn into the water and hugging him over to her and went to kiss him when Shawn pulled away and said.

"Not until Saturday my love," and Lita nodded that she understood, "G'head Mickie show us what you got," Shawn said turning to the bubbly Stratus fanatic, she clapped her hands together put on a big smile and started to sing her ode to Lita.

"I knew this girl called Lita . . ." she started.

"Uh-huh," Shawn said liking the way it started.

"And she was really cool," MJ continued and Lita nodded along.

"Good so far," she said intrigued.

"The boys really liked her and they said "LITA RULES!" Mickie continued and Shawn clapped his hands loving it.

"I'm loving this!" he said and Lita blushed at how much he loved her it was like water in the desert; she couldn't live without it.

"But then she went all slutty . . . " Mickie James continued and Shawn and Lita went ghostly white.

"WHAT?" they said at the same-time.

"And she got really fat," MJ continued laughing and the ocean started to bubble.

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Shawn roared but MJ just loved the heat coming from the Anointed Couple and so did the wrestlers cowering together at the top of the beach.

"But Shawn don't mind cause she's his kind he likes his ho's like that!" MJ finished and the sand was now scorching hot as was the entire area much to the wrestlers' amusement, the same could not be said for the couple who Mickie James was singing about.

"I have a confession to make," Lita said to Shawn who was fuming so hard his face was pulsating, "I love it when you get angry," she said adoring his profile, Shawn turned to face her and she could see his orbs blazing with fury.

"In that case baby, get ready to fall head of heels in love with me," he said and ran after MJ who was laughing hysterically at them both.

"Oh no what you gonna do you know it's the truth, all Lita is to you is a good lay admit it? You don't love her you love her body," Mickie James said feeling all nice and warm like a fresh bun straight out of the oven.

"Well you know what I think Mickie James?" Shawn asked stalking the little Diva, "I think you wish you were me and you were the one marrying Lita, I don't think that Kiss of Life I gave you took, so pucker up girlfriend!" Shawn said grabbing Mickie James and Kissing Life back into her and when he stopped she was filled with absolute revulsion.

"My mouth tastes like ashes!" she cried hysterically feeling like she'd just swallowed an ashtray, "What did you do to my lips?" she panicked feeling the chaffed skin where her pouty lips used to be.

"Isn't it obvious? You burned Lita so I burned you, now no man will ever want to kiss you ever again!" Shawn said smugly and everyone laughed at Mickie's burned lips.

"BURN!" all the guys went and the girls turned away in disgust.

"Turn me back Shawn I'm sorry I just didn't want to freeze to death out here!" MJ pleaded shielding her bruised mouth.

Shawn thought about it, "Um, nah," he said and went back down to the woman of the hour his vicious but delicious Lita, "I told ya'll not to mess with Lita and I'm a tell you one more time or else you gonna get burned, case point: Mickie James, you've been warned!" he called back to them and everyone nodded and decided to lay off the Lita's a slut jokes from now on lest they never kiss their wives, husbands, children or significant others ever again.

"On a much lighter note, what band did you pick to sing at the two nut-jobs wedding Edge?" Hunter asked the Rated R Superstar, the R now stood for Rejected; at least it did in Matt Hardy's head. Edge was about to answer when everyone's attention was once again diverted by a woman screaming, but it wasn't a joyful noise or amorous sound just the opposite; it was Melina crying and it was so awful the wrestlers covered their ears to drown out the sound. Sting opened his eyes and saw the ocean water starting to sway, after hanging around with ATM he knew that something bad was about to happen. Lita ran over to Melina and tried to comfort her but it was too late, the water was rising, her anguish was affecting Hurricane Aurora in the worst way and Lil H wasn't going to put up with Melina's balling one second more than she had to, it was way past her bedtime and this miraculous missy was cutting into her nap-time!

"Melina it's going to be alright you have to forgive him or we're all going to drown!" Lita cried gripping her little sister in Christ by the shoulders like her life depended on it and it did. Shawn turned to Lita confused.

"You can't calm the water with your Anointing?" Shawn asked puzzled by the fearful look in Lita's eyes.

"No I can't undo it, Melina's powers are determined by her ability to heal people, she can't use them if she's mad at her husband, she has every right to be mad, the Bible said to honor your wife not dishonor her Shawn!" Lita explained.

"But God wouldn't let her use her powers for evil," Shawn said determined not to drown before Saturday, he had a big day planned!

"God's on her side Shawn, she doesn't care what happens to Nitro, only Jesus does and He can't do anything without His Father's permission," Lita explained and Hunter rubbed his face in frustration.

"Wait are you saying if Melina wants to she could drown us all and save you and Trish?" he asked and Lita nodded and everyone started to pray not wanting to go to Hell.

"Good keep going!" Lita said encouraging them to bombard the Heavens with praises as the waves waved over the shore and started to pull the wrestlers in.

"Melina's using my daughter's supernatural powers to get back at Nitro for kissing an ECW chick?" Stephanie McMahon said running over to Lita with Jericho, The Rock, The McMahons and Trish.

"Aurora's a servant of God remember, she stopped being your daughter when you wrote her out of her inheritance," Hunter reminded Stephanie disdainfully.

"So we're all gonna drown?" Jericho panicked pulling his hair out.

"Well we won't," Trish said pointing to her sisters in Christ, " and neither will Shawn, Randy, Carlito, Shelton, the McCools, the Montenegros or the Kliq, the rest of you are unrepentant heathens and the Lord has no problem washing you all away,"

"So this is what God needed Aurora's powers for," LC said jumping on her father's back while Dan and Charlotte ran over to Carla and motioned for everyone to follow them.

"To the DX to the Extreme!" Charlotte cried and the wrestlers followed the McCools to the dock which was almost under water.

"This is so bad, Nitro you killed us all!" Mr. Kennedy said running towards the fluorescent green and metallic blue motor yacht along with all the other wrestlers from the WWE and TNA.

"It was just a kiss what's the big deal?" Nitro said and a huge wave came and dragged him into the water.

"Oh my God!" the wrestlers cried as they climbed aboard the DX to the Extreme watching in horror as Nitro tried to fight the tide but Aurora's powers were too strong and Melina's heart was too cold for him to overcome their wrath.

"Melina I know you're hurt, especially since it was your husband who unleashed the Whore of Babylon and all that but do you want to be responsible for your husband's death?" Shawn asked Melina but the Latina's heart was closed to all reason; she was a woman scorned and she had reached the end of her marital rope with John "Nitro" Hennigan; as far as she was concerned, he could go straight to Hell. God had a better idea.

"You're gonna lose your healing powers if you go through with this!" Trish warned her but Melina was way past caring.

"Or worse, you'll never fall in love again!" Randy Orton warned her and Melina's heart melted at that thought. After seeing how happy Shawn was with Lita after the odds they faced to be together love was the only thing she believed in now, she knew it was out there, she also knew who it was she was really supposed to be with and as much as she hated him for crushing on other women, Nitro was her true love and the father of her first child. She told God she would love him in the good times and the bad and this was one of those bad times that made the good times very easy to forget, so to keep love alive in her heart and in the heart of her unborn child, Melina reached out to the man who would talk to God for her even if he'd forgotten that he could.

"Carlito," she said reaching for the cool one's hands and everyone's watched eagerly - except Trish's of course who was smiling like a Cheshire cat as God's impartation to her was about to come to pass.

"Why are you holding my hand are you cold or something?" Carlito said oblivious to what was going on even though it was blatantly obvious to everyone else who wasn't suffering from Kiss of Life Amnesia.

"Nitro isn't my true love, my true love is in here," she said caressing her swelling stomach and Carlito's eyebrows rose in shock, he turned to Trish in disbelief.

"You know I thought you were the one I was going to get pregnant," he told her and Trish tried not to cry at the many great and wonderful times she and Carlito had spent together in the past that would have made that possible.

"It probably wouldn't have worked out anyway Carlito, why don't you give Melina your hand?" Trish said wiping a tear from her eye but Carlito didn't seem willing to do that.

"I'd rather hold yours Stratus," he said charmingly as the waves kept on rising.

"The Rock said hold the woman's hand!" The Rock said watching the water pull Nitro under as Carlito eyed Trish.

"Okay-okay no need to yell," Carlito said and he gave Melina his hands which Melina placed on her stomach, suddenly the Miraculous one fell back and out of the DX to the Extreme into the water. The wrestlers gasped in fright concerned about the baby as well as the mother but Trish and Lita told them it was okay, the water suddenly stilled, the waves ceased and everybody looked at Trish and Lita wanting an explanation.

"The heartache I caused was equal to the heartache Nitro caused Melina, but together they cancelled out Nitro's betrayal making things right again," Trish explained and everyone blew a sigh of relief.

"But Melina has lost her miraculous healing powers so no-one get sick," Lita added and Hunter sneezed, "What did I just say?" Lita said and Hunter gawked at her as Aurora waved her rattle back and forth cheerily now that the wailing had finally stopped and Lita smiled at Chyna, "You two are gonna make a huge difference in this girl's life," she said and Chyna wondered what her old friend meant, "Aurora Rose is an emotional barometer she hates heartache, now that her mother's moved on and you two are back together, both her parents are happy and Melina will be too as soon as her baby is born,"

Hunter frowned, "What does Melina have to do with Aurora's happiness?" he asked confused.

"It's called the rule of the Firstborn, it's not about you, Steph, Chyna and Aurora being happy, its about Lisa, Carla and Cameron being happy. You see Lisa, Carla and Cameron are all firstborns and now the Kliq is back together, your firstborns will bless the latter children, of which Cheyenne is the first, Aurora is the second and Melina's baby is the third. Three means completion in the Heavenlies and the third baby will lead to the rebirth of ATM," Trish explained and Cameron, LC and Carla gasped.

"There's going to be another ATM?" they said at the same-time and Trish smiled at their excitement about another angelic trio being formed.

"Yes but there's a dispute over the third member," Trish said and Lita frowned.

"I never heard about no dispute, what have you been keeping from me now Truth?" the Anointed one said indignantly and The Truth smiled slyly and stroked the Anointed one's hair which had cooled down considerably.

"In time my angelic sister, all shall be revealed," she said and everyone let out a huge moan especially LC who took Aurora's rattle and threw it at Trish in frustration with God's Instant Messenger, "I knew she was gonna do that," Trish said holding her head, "Kids are so impatient, I don't know how you and Mel are going to manage Lita," she said and Lita and Shawn went white and the jaws of everyone aboard the DX to the Extreme dropped to the deck and Trish realized she just let the big cat out of the bag, "Did I just say that out loud?" she said regretfully and Shawn and Lita nodded both their jaws swinging from the hinges of their mouths, Trish decided to bail from the scene by jumping overboard and joining Melina in her search and rescue of Johnny "Scumbag" Nitro.

"You told Lita she was having Shawn's baby didn't you?" Melina said putting two-and-two together as she applied the Heimlich maneuver to her unfaithful husband.

"When are you gonna tell Nitro God gave you permission to castrate him?" Trish countered and Melina shushed her as Nitro coughed up the excess water in his lungs, the water in his ears drowned out the conversation that was going to make him the laughing stock of the entire WWE locker room if he didn't start treating his wife with the respect she deserved.


	22. Light of a Clear Blue Morning

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece?

Chapter Twenty Two - Light of a Clear Blue Morning

San Diego Bay, 4am:

The wrestlers continued to cruise along the Pacific Ocean and were now in San Diego Bay; The McMahons didn't take too kindly to being left out and called the coastguard on DX saying they violated US laws by crossing into Mexico illegally. Shawn and Hunter had has just about enough of their boss and his irritating family so they offered the coastguard backstage passes to RAW if they turned back and he accepted.

"What the Hell?" Vince McMahon said from as the coastguard began to turn around, "You arrest those degenerates now!"

The coastguard shook his head and Shane O'Mac snatched the backstage passes from him angrily, "Hey wait-a-minute, these aren't official backstage passes, they're Pokemon cards!"

"Is it Pikachu, my daughter loves Pickachu!" the coastguard said and the McMahons frowned as the DX to the Extreme rolled on and through the bay as the children slept and the adults tried their best to but with Hunter driving that was almost impossible.

"Hey babe why don't you let someone else drive this yacht, someone who won't get us all killed?" Chyna said rubbing her boyfriend's shoulders as he spun out over a rock or what he thought was a rock.

"What was that?" LC said waking up.

"We hit something, it was a rock," Cameron said waking up next to her and Carla looked down at the hole in the deck .

"A big freaking rock!" she said and ran up to the top deck to alert the adults that they were about to sink.

"Quick Melina, Trish, Lita do something!" Hunter asked ATM and the other wrestlers didn't think they were in the right frame of mind right now; Trish was depressed over losing Carlito's friendship, Melina was angry with her husband's roving eye and Lita well, she was catatonic over the news that she was going to have Shawn Michaels' baby and the Showstoppa noticed that she was out of sorts and kissed her shoulder tattoo gently.

"You okay darlin'?" he said sweetly his touch bringing her back to reality, Lita rested her head on his and smiled, Shawn wrapped his arms around her waist and caressed her flat stomach adoringly, "I can feel your tension, you got butterflies in your belly, having a baby ain't nuthin to worry about Lita,"

"I'm not worried I'm scared," Lita confessed and everyone's stared at the Anointed couple in disbelief as they ignored the fact that the DX to the Extreme was sinking.

"You know there's plenty of time for baby talk on dry land!" Mr. Kennedy said sarcastically.

"What are you scared of anyway, Shawn's got more money than God you're going to be fine," Mickie James said trying to avoid the rising water and desperately trying to get the charred smell off of her lips.

"God doesn't need money He gets in free everywhere," Lita replied and Shawn laughed and the fiery red-head turned to him and he saw that she really was scared, "I used to be so focused on being a performer but I can't act my way out of this, Shawn having your baby is like a dream come true!" she said elated and Shawn couldn't understand why she didn't look as happy as she sounded, and the fact that she was squeezing his hands so tight bothered him, "But that doesn't mean I'll be a good mother now does it?" she said and Shawn chuckled to himself much to Lita's annoyance, "This isn't funny I'm serious!" the Anointed one said.

"You ask Chey and Cam who their favorite WWE Diva is and then you tell me you won't be a good mother," HBK said calming Lita with gently circles over her cold hands with his warmer ones, "Plus my old lady really likes you, she knew I would fall in love with you,"

Lita gasped, "No she didn't she never trusted me around you or your children,"

"She didn't trust me around you and that's what led to her heartache, but don't make the same mistake Big Red, trust me; I know a good woman when I see her and you will be a mother to my child, and not because I say so either," Shawn said and Lita frowned confused.

"I don't understand what you mean," she said confused and Shawn kissed her. As their lips touched the water dried up from the heat emanating from the Anointed Couple's bodies. They ignited the sky, killing thousands of fish in the process and that suited the wrestlers just fine because they were starving.

Shawn pulled away from Lita's smoking hot lips and waited for her to open her eyes and tell him if she still had doubts that she was going to have his baby, Lita drew her hands down his bronzed chest and gave him a satisfied smile. Trish smiled in spite of herself and Melina applauded them both, they were so in love it was infectious, she looked down at Nitro who was cowering in fear that she was going to slap him stupid for what he did with Brooke from Extreme Expose.

"Is there anything I can do to get back into your good graces?" he asked and Melina shook her head and he sighed in frustration and Randy Orton sighed torn between helping Melina and helping Nitro, he really preferred to help the Miraculous one, mostly because of the crush on her that never went away but subsided, things were a little different now and The King's Oracle had to do his job and that meant being impartial.

"Guys I have an idea," he said to the unhappily married young couple, "I'll ask Vince to book me and you in a match on RAW and the winner gets Melina's managerial services, if you win, Melina you have to fall back in love with Nitro and forgive him for his unfaithfulness,"

"Pero no puedo perdonarlo que él me traicionó él tiene que ganar mi parte posteriora del amor/

but I can't forgive him he betrayed me he has to earn my love back," Melina argued but Randy told her to zip it.

"I'm not done yet baby," he said and Nitro didn't like the way he called his angry wife "baby" and it was going to be clear why momentarily, "If I win, you get to be my girl again only this time it will be for real," Orton said and the RAW locker room loved it thinking it was the perfect way for Melina to get back at her husband as the wrestlers poured out of the DX to the Extreme onto the hot sand off Chula Vista just a hop and a skip from San Diego airport.

"NO WAY!" Nitro jumped up in a rage which was quickly extinguished by the fire burning through the eyes of Shawn and Lita.

"YES WAY!" they said at the same-time and Nitro backed down, "You blow it, Melina walks outta your life and into Randy's, case closed," HBK said and Lita nodded taking the Showstoppa's arm and he escorted her off the yacht onto the beach where their friends and family were ready to eat.

"Yo Big Red, throw a little fire on these fishes and lets get eating!" Shad said and Lita shook her head telling everyone to stop collecting all the fish that she and HBK had killed.

"This is our wedding food, you can't have fish for breakfast," Lita said and everyone argued that yes they could since they were losing their minds because of all the drama over the past week.

"Okay everybody we have to take care of something first," Trish said pointing to the dry ocean where the water had evaporated.

"How did you two do that?" LC asked Shawn and Lita on her father's back.

"We didn't want you to die so we used our Righteous Indignation to dry up all the water," Lita explained.

"Their kiss was more of a rescue than an act of passion," Trish explained.

"So can you put the water back?" Charlotte asked and Shawn and Lita nodded.

"After we pick up all these fish," Shawn said and noticed that nobody was helping him, "the sooner ya'll help us the sooner we can get outta here," he said but the wrestlers didn't see the point in fishing for what they couldn't eat.

"Do you mean to tell us that all we're having for reception dinner is fish?" MVP said and Lita scratched her head.

"Is he invited to the wedding?" she asked Shawn.

"No," HBK answered.

"Hey how come I don't get no invite and Kennedy, Benoit and Bookah get to go?" MVP asked indignantly.

"Did we invite SD?" Lita asked Shawn.

"No," HBK said.

"Then who did ya'll invite to your wedding?" Undertaker asked curiously.

"Nobody," Shawn and Lita said at the same-time and they pointed to LC, Carla, Cameron and Cheyenne, "They took care of the invitations, ask them," Shawn said and he and Lita resumed collecting all the fish and putting them in the DX to the Extreme for cooking back in Tijuana tomorrow. The wrestlers turned to the children who were barely awake.

"LC?" MVP asked Triple H's warrior princess.

"You're not invited," she said and MVP balked in horror.

"Carla?" Mr. Kennedy said to the cute Canadian blond.

"You're not invited," she replied on Dan's back.

"Cameron are we invited?" the WWE Divas asked Shawn's only son.

"Ask my girlfriend what she thinks of your behavior over the past month and that should answer your question," Cameron said in Chyna's arms.

"So who's invited?" Cryme Tyme asked the children at the same-time.

"You," Cameron replied and Cryme Tyme did a victory dance.

"Edge," LC added.

"Yes!" the Edgemeister shouted.

"Matt Hardy," Aaliyah Mysterio added over her father's shoulder.

"Jeff Hardy if he's back from Heaven in time," Sherilyn Mysterio added in Vickie Guerrero's lap.

"Shelton and Krystal," Cassidy added on her brother's knee.

"Batista and Undertaker," Cheyenne added and Cameron looked at her questioningly and Shawn's little girl shrugged, "I like monsters," she said.

"What about The Rock?" The Rock asked the sleepy children who were on the verge of waking up with the sun which was coming up over the horizon.

"We're not sure, you kind of big headed," Cheyenne said and The Rock removed his shades and gave her the People's Stare.

"What do you mean by that?" he said in full Brahma mode.

"That's what daddy says," Cheyenne explained and HBK nodded and The Rock ignored him.

"Yeah well if Trish is coming I'm coming and there ain't nothing you can do about it sweetheart," The Rock told Cheyenne who rubbed her sleepy eyes, reached into her backpack, pulled out her inivite list and crossed Rocky's name off it showing him what she just did and knocking the smile off his face.

"You're name's not on the list you're not coming in, I don't care how cute you are," she said and the wrestlers all laughed as The Rock went into full cocky heel mode.

"Like father like daughter, you Michaels' love to talk smack, you better put Kane on the door cause I am going to be there for some of that cod, mackerel and shark-tail your old man is collecting up over there!" The People's Champ declared and turned his nose up to the air and said his notorious catch phrase, "IF YOU SMELLL - " at least he tried to then a fish slapped him in the face courtesy of the Heartbreak Kid's Big Red sweetheart Lita.

"Shut your mouth!" she said and The Rock started to cuss her out, big mistake as HBK threw fish after fish at him in Lita's defense.

"When Jesus fed those five thousand with fish and bread I don't think this is how he did it," Hunter said looking out over the dry ocean seeing Vince, Shane and Linda walking towards them on the sea bed, "Shawn if you'd stop throwing fish for a second, now would be a good time for you and Big Red Badass to fill the ocean back up,"

"Really?" HBK said looking back towards Tijuana and saw what Hunter saw and smiled along with his DX partner.

"Yeah really," Hunter said, Shawn took Lita's hand and withdrew their Righteous Indignation sending the water back in to the pacific much to the horror of the Chairman, his son and his wife.

"Oh no," Vince said as the water filled up around them, "Let's get to the shore, swim dammit swim!" he admonished his family as they reached the DX to the Extreme and climbed inside, they missed the surging water by a nano second.

"You disappoint me Shawn, is that all your God can do to stop the McMahon family huh?" Vince asked HBK who looked at Hunter and Lita who was worried about the fish Vince was about to take off with, she had totally forgotten about the hole in the bottom of the motor yacht wondering why DX were being so cool about it.

"Come on guys The McMahons are taking the DX to the Extreme and our wedding food, there was a swordfish in that lot not to mention a bunch of good looking crabs!" she complained to Shawn and Hunter who smiled at her nonchalantly.

"How far do think they'll make it before they realize the boat's filling up with water?" Shawn asked Hunter trailing a curious finger down Lita's back putting a smile on the red-head's face, _I could really get used to this_ the former Women's Champion said circling her stomach wondering when she was gong to get pregnant and decided to grill Trish after she and Melina stopped having a fish fight with the other wrestlers and family members.

"WE'RE SINKING, DAMN YOU SHAWN, DAMN YOU HUNTER - YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIS YOU DEGENERATES, WE'RE COMING TO THAT WEDDING AND I DON'T CARE WHAT GOD HAS TO SAY ABOUT IT!" Vince McMahon yelled, Shawn looked over at Hunter and sighed.

"I'm really gonna need your help this weekend best man, Vince is gonna go all out to make the happiest day of my life the worse day of my life," Shawn said and Hunter put a big arm around both Shawn and Lita and smiled at them assuringly.

"I'm gonna be the best man I should have been the first time Shawn, don't worry my old friend, you and Amy are in my very capable, lovable, kissable, adorable - "

"Hunter stop picturing us having sex!" Lita said and Hunter took his hand back.

"I guess you don't want the Cerebral Assassin to do security at your wedding then," he said in a huff and Lita sighed.

"Okay you can picture us having sex," she agreed and Shawn was about to berate his best friend when he remembered that he was the one who was actually going to have sex with Lita - and soon, "You okay Shawn you look a little red?" Lita said as Shawn's cheeks burnt up right in front of her eyes.

"We got a Star 69, a Star 69!" Hunter yelled to Chyna who ran over to them taking Lita by the arm while Hunter took Shawn to one side while Trish and Melina tried to wrestle them both away from the Anointed Couple and assured them everything was going to be just fine.

"Shawn why don't you show Lita that dress you were gonna buy her?" Trish said to Shawn cheerfully.

"It got ruined during the Battle of the 30ft Playboy Covergirls," Shawn confessed.

"I'm sure they have it somewhere in San Diego, you can take Lita shopping and hopefully you'll like it once its on her," Melina said to Lita with a giggle and Lita frowned.

"I told you I don't like dresses," Lita told Shawn who tried to stop blushing but Trish and Melina weren't making it easy for him at all, now all he could think about was what Lita looked like naked.

"Without you in it, it's just a dress but once you get into it, there won't be a girl more beautiful for 1,000 miles," he said and everybody went "AW!" at the same-time.

"My Hummer's parked up a little way from here I could drive you to the mall," Randy Orton said.

"Actually I'd prefer if it was just me and my girl, thanks all the same kid," Shawn said as Lita tried to contain her overwhelming emotions as Shawn took her hand and walked down to Chula Vista with her and the WWE and TNA wrestlers carrying all the fish they caught and following behind them wanting to see how hot this dress was and how long before Shawn Michaels could go without seeing his bride-to-be wearing nothing but her Mona Lita smile and right now, she wasn't wearing much else.


	23. Trick or Treat?

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece?

Chapter Twenty Three - Trick or Treat?

Los Angeles, CA:

Stephanie and Jericho went back to Jericho's apartment in Downtown L.A. while ATM and DX went to Melina and Nitro's house to start cooking for the wedding reception on Saturday, it was 6am and they were burnt out in more ways than one.

The Billion Dollar Princess fell back on the couch followed by a muscular bag of bones otherwise known as Chris Jericho who was ready to forget about DX and ATM altogether; ever since Amy, Trish and Lita got their holy powers his life had been turned upside down, he wasn't going to run the risk of losing Stephanie by going over to Melina's where Hunter was bound to demonstrate his awesome cooking abilities. Stephanie smiled down at the bouncy head of curls under her chin and breathed in the vanilla essence combed into Jericho's golden locks at his insistence.

"I don't think I can live with a man who spends more time in front of the mirror than I do," she said and waited for Chris to give her one of his witty responses but one never came; he had fallen asleep in her arms, "Hello?" she said answering her cell-phone careful not to wake the Ayatollah of Rock N' Rolla up, "Dad I'm trying to sleep can we talk about this tomorrow?" she said as Vince McMahon's agitated voice screamed down the phone.

"No Stephanie Marie, we're going to talk about this now!" he barked and Stephanie sighed slipping out from under Jericho to step out of the room into the kitchen where she put on some coffee and sat down as her father reeled off his insane plan to get back at DX for humiliating him south of the border, "I want you to drop in on Melina and Nitro's, bring with you the most delicious dessert you can find. Shane and I are gonna drop by in about an hour with some food poison - "

"Dad!" Stephanie yelled at what her father was suggesting then shushed herself when she realized she was almost screaming down the phone.

"I want you to let us in, show us where the dessert is and keep watch while we put the poison on it, afterwards we'll leave and that's that," Vince said smiling proudly at his reflection in the bathroom mirror of a random motel somewhere in Los Angeles that wasn't buried in after shock rubble.

"What do you mean that's that, what about the poison?" Stephanie whispered desperately.

"You don't need to know about that young lady just buy the best looking cake, pie or pastry you can find and we'll do the rest," Shane told her and Stephanie hung up the phone dejected; her family were Hell bent on making one of the biggest wedding's of all time the worst day in Shawn Michael's life after the death of his wife only days ago.

"I can't go through with this," she said aloud not seeing the sleepy eyed Canadian standing the kitchen doorway.

"Get away with what?" Chris Jericho asked groggily and Stephanie tried to get him upstairs to bed concerned that he hadn't gotten enough rest but before she could say anything Stephanie was in Jericho's arms and he was carrying her to his bedroom and closing the door behind him.

20 minutes later . . .

Stephanie closed the apartment door, pulled out the keys to Jericho's car and tried to remember what she was supposed to be doing.

"Oh Steph?" Jericho called from the bedroom window and Stephanie looked up to see Jericho waving her bra at her, "I believe this belongs to you," he said laughing and Stephanie winked at him and unlocked the car.

"I'm buying dessert for Shawn and Lita," she said reminding herself what she was doing outside at 6 in the morning when she should be inside making love to Chris Jericho and drove downtown wondering what her father and brother wanted with a poisoned dessert and making a mental note to stay away from the dessert cart tomorrow night.

The den at Melina and Nitro's crib, 6:30am:

Layla and Kelly Kelly were ignoring Brooke angry that she had made a move on Nitro without thinking about how much it was going to affect his marriage to Melina.

"Mrs. McCool told us to enjoy single life I'm allowed to kiss guys if they want me to, if Melina wasn't so busy running around with Lita and Trish she wouldn't have to keep watch of her husband," Brooke said in her own defense.

"I kind of agree with you," Layla confessed and Kelly Kelly found herself agreeing with them both as well.

"Are you guys nuts?" Charlotte said drawing away from Dan to join Extreme Expose on the floor with all the other sleeping wrestlers, "Marriage is a constant battle of watching and praying," she said quietly and the ECW Divas frowned.

"What does that mean?" Layla asked.

"It means you watch your husband and you pray for him," Charlotte said and explained further as the three dancers listened closely, "the world is filled with temptation, it would have been any number of girls Nitro would have made out with, the fact is that Melina wasn't watching him buy Playboy or watch him eye Brooke from the corner of the Camino Real, men break vows when we don't watch them, so that's what I mean by you have to watch and pray for your husband,"

Extreme Expose nodded, "Because you'll never know when he'll try and kiss me again!" Brooke shouted towards the kitchen where Melina was cooking and everyone started cussing her out.

"Shut up trick I'm trying to get my sleep on over here!" MVP cried out his doo rag wound around his head a little too tightly for Mr. Kennedy's liking who enjoyed listening to the women's conversation and decided to make an observation.

"See if you didn't all dress up like sluts, we wouldn't be looking at you at all so keep up the good work," he said and Extreme Expose started hitting him with the cushions Melina had laid out for them on the floor.

"Guys stop if you really wanna fight do it in the ring, I'm trying to get some sleep," Ashley Massaro said and Torrie, Candice and Victoria gave her a dirty look.

"You started all this when you kissed Nitro and unleashed the Whore of Babylon," Victoria said.

"And the crazy bitch got me and Candice!" Torrie Wilson added angrily, "Maybe if you weren't hitting on married men HBK wouldn't be so stuck up,"

"Torrie that hurts," Shawn said pouting as Lita wrapped her legs around him resting his head on her flat stomach as she stroked the side of his face lazily, "I have standards and no woman no matter how beautiful is gonna get into bed with me after posing for Playboy," he said.

"Shawn you're so clueless," Torrie Wilson said with a chuckle going back to sleep.

"Posing for Playboy is no different than stripping," Candice Michelle said and Shawn opened one eye and looked at the former bunny funny.

"Who are you talking about, Lita's never stripped?" he said and both Lita's eyes and ears popped open.

"Um Earth to Christian guy, I stripped before I got into wrestling I even wrote about it in my book," Lita told Shawn who was fully awake now and Hunter couldn't help but laugh at Shawn's shocked expression and Chyna tried to muffle it with her chest: it worked.

"I thought that was a work to make your character more edgy," Shawn asked in disbelief and Lita nodded nonchalantly, "Were you hurt I mean, did anyone ever try anything?" he asked concerned.

"Yeah a couple of times but I took care of myself, I've been taking care of myself for a long time," she said and Shawn cupped her face and stroked her chin affectionately.

"I'll look after you okay? The only person you're gonna be stripping for from this moment on is me," he said jealously but corrected himself not to come of like a jerk, "I mean if you want to," he said and Lita smiled brightly at him feeling really glad to be alive to witness this moment; Shawn Michaels wanting to protect her in spite of her past misdemeanors and ferocious appetite for men of all kinds, especially if they were good wrestlers. It was then that her stomach flipped and she knew she was with the right man and if God was in control, Shawn was going to be the last man she would ever sleep with.

"I don't deserve you Shawn," she said and went to kiss HBK when the rock hard hand of Trish Stratus came down on the back of her head and knocked her off the couch she and Shawn were sleeping on.

"Not before the wedding!" Trish said wrapped up in her fluffy pink dressing gown and bunny slippers.

"Ow!" Lita complained feeling the sudden urge to wrestle Trish making her rethink her early retirement, "Shouldn't you be in The People's Bed right now Truth?" she said rubbing her head.

"The Rock doesn't sleep," she replied and everyone made wolf whistles as Trish did a Go Daddy dance indicating that she had been re-igniting her old flame in the privacy of Melina's guest bedroom, "I just took a break from our "workout"," she said in inverted commas with a cheeky smile, "To check on you and Shawn and it's a good thing that I did, Hunter!" Trish yelled at the Cerebral Assassin and Chyna glared at her, "Wake him up," she said and Chyna grimaced at her former rival.

"Excuse me who are you to tell me to do anything except put my size 8 foot in your size 2 ass?" Chyna said and Shawn pulled Trish down.

"You don't want none of Joanie back in the day or ever," he said and Trish got back up and in Chyna's face, "Big mistake, huge!" Shawn said and Lita watched as the First Lady of DX tickled Trish to death and Hunter awoke to see his girlfriend on top of Trish Stratus and pinched himself to see if he was still dreaming, when he saw that Lita, Torrie, Krystal and Extreme Expose were all fully clothed he knew he wasn't and broke the former rivals apart.

"What's up with you Trish, Rocky not enough action for you?" Hunter said as Trish tried to regain her composure.

"Just the man I wanted to see, remember how you were on Shawn and Lita's case constantly thinking that they were like this close to having an affair last year?" Trish said to Hunter while trying to catch her breath and Hunter nodded.

"We remember," Cryme Tyme said yawning, "Trips was right all along, if Shawn wants to ride Lita dirty he can ride Lita dirty, Rebecca can't do shit to you now Shawn, you're a free man, enjoy it!" Shad said and Shawn pointed to his crotch and told him to SUCK IT.

"I think Lita's got you covered playa," JTG said and all the boys started to laugh and Lita gave JTG a hi-five.

"And you know this man!" she said and now it was Shawn's turn to laugh, Lita was just as controversial as HBK was, there was just one thing they had to do before they consummated the marriage.

"Lita would you like to go dancing with me tonight?" he said and Lita blushed.

"I can't dance to save my life," Lita said feeling like such a loser and Shawn frowned confused.

"I thought you used to strip?" he asked puzzled.

"Yeah?" Lita said equally puzzled, "What's your point?"

"Stripping is dancing, only where we're going there won't be no pole or ugly old men who can't get laid throwing corn chips and empty beer cans at you," Shawn said and Lita nodded understanding where he was going as he pulled her onto his lap, "I'm talking about a party where only two people are present: you and me, in your room down in Atlanta, Georgia, whad'ya say partner?" he whispered his soft breath licking Lita's ear and sending shivers down her spine just like Shawn's theme song said.

Lita nearly swallowed her tongue as she opened her mouth to speak, "Do we have time?" she asked her voice husky with unrequited desire and from the pressure against her thigh she knew she wasn't the only one with a desire urgently needing to be fulfilled.

"We'll leave after we get back from the mall and all the food for the wedding's been prepared, then we'll come back in the morning," Shawn said.

Lita nodded short of breath, "Sounds good," she said eventually and Shawn's eyes flickered with mischief and Lita's grin reflected her own dilemma, "that is if we make it to Tijuana as friends who like to hold hands and nothing more," she said and at this point everyone was watching waiting to see them kiss.

"Breakfast is ready!" Melina called and everybody fled into the kitchen for breakfast burritos and egg frittatas hot off the stove, the Miraculous one waved at Shawn and Lita as they sat up and followed everyone inside, their need for food overcoming their need for sex if only by an inch, "I sensed you needed a miracle to get you out of that predicament," she grinned sweetly, "I took the liberty of seating you at the boys table Shawn,"

HBK groaned, "I have to sit with Nitro!"

"I have to live with him, as far as I'm concerned you're getting off light," Melina said motioning for Shawn to hurry up and eat before the food got cold and she wrapped her arms around Lita and squeezed her sister in Christ tightly, "Mi hermana's gonna have a baby!" she rejoiced and Lita tried not to panic at the thought.

"We could give birth within days of each other?" Lita said.

"I wonder which one of our children is gonna be the third member of the new ATM? Trish ain't' giving me no clues, what do you think's going on in the Heavenlies, I don't see why both our children can't join ATM, they'd be an angelic Quattro and you know what they say there's strength in numbers!" Melina said sitting down at the girls table with her arm still around the Anointed one.

"Whoa slow down, I'm not pregnant yet!" Lita cried out and the WWE Divas and TNA Knockouts shot her a naïve glance and the former Queen of Extreme felt a hot glare on the back of her neck and started to fan herself knowing it was coming from Shawn, "Who am I kidding I get horny just looking at him, after one night with Shawn Michaels the baby's gonna come fast," she said and Krystal leaned over the table and said something quietly so the boys couldn't hear.

"But the baby only gets to come once, there aren't enough clocks to count the number of times you will be doing it," she said and all the women started to laugh and all the guys knew what they were laughing at and turned to HBK looking disgruntled.

"This wedding is affecting my life in weird and troubling ways," Mr. Kennedy said, "Even I'm thinking about getting married just so I can have what you and Lita have Shawn, of course I've been known to exaggerate,"

"You don't say?" the SD Superstars said all at once sarcastically.

"Yeah I want a hot chick having hot fantasies about me in the shower!" Mickie James said and got a dark stare from all the men, "Sorry wrong table," she said and Shawn shook his head knowing that she just said that to get him to Kiss her charred lips back to their juicy sweetness and he decided to give a Diva a break and turned around to her.

"I tell you what MJ, you apologize to Lita for that offensive poem you wrote about us and I'll put your lips back the way God made them," Shawn negotiated and MJ jumped up and down ecstatically and went over to Lita's side of the table and begged for her forgiveness which she received, she was so grateful that she started kissing Lita and wouldn't stop and Shawn got up to pull her away but it was too late, Lita's lips were now black and mucho un-kissable, "Urgh!" Shawn said, there was no way he was gonna kiss Lita now.

"Looks like Trish got her wish you know Hunter would have just paid us to have sex eventually," Lita said touching her charred lips frowning, "Still want to hang out with me Sexy Boy?" she said hopefully and Shawn couldn't help it, he had to kiss her she was the realest thing he had experienced in the WWE, so honest, so sincere, so fine was his awesome and anointed lady and he pressed his lips to hers lining the blackened skin there with sugary sweet saliva that had holy healing balm to repair her abused lips and melt her down to bare naked desire. The wrestlers looked on stunned expecting a lightning bolt to strike the Anointed Couple from Heaven for kissing before Trish said they could but that didn't happen. Shawn and Lita enjoyed their first kiss the same way they had carried out their careers in the WWE; live and in front of a captive audience and there was nothing more entertaining happening right now, of course that was all about to change as Stephanie McMahon approached Melina and Nitro's crib with a dessert as delicious as those lips kissing and it was addressed to the Heartbreak Kid courtesy of all The McMahon Family.


	24. The Toxic Avengers

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece?

Chapter Twenty Four - The Toxic Avengers

"Who could that be?" Melina said getting up to answer the door as the other wrestlers and friends of ATM ate her tasty Mexican breakfast. A smiling face and a pair of green eyes greeted her and they belonged to Stephanie McMahon and she was holding a pastry box with a huge red bow around it.

"Hey Mel can I come in this box is so heavy," the Billion Dollar Princess said.

"What's in it?" Melina said excitedly taking the box from Stephanie and moving so she could come into the house but Stephanie hesitated, "Is it for the wedding?" Melina asked impressed with Stephanie's good will after everything Shawn and Hunter had put her and Jericho through over the last couple of weeks.

"I'll hold it Melina, you're pregnant you really shouldn't be carrying anything," Stephanie said taking it back.

"But it is for Shawn and Lita right?" Melina asked really wanting to see the dessert.

Stephanie nodded, "It sure is but it's a surprise so I can't tell you what dessert it is, sorry," she said and Melina jumped up and down excitedly.

"You are so good to do this for them Stephanie, come and join us we're having breakfast," Melina said ushering Stephanie into the kitchen where a fight was about to break out between Trish and Hunter over Shawn and Lita's forbidden kiss which no-one did anything aboot.

"What's wrong with you can't you follow a simple instruction? Wait don't answer that," Trish yelled at Hunter still in her fluffy pink bathrobe and bunny slippers, "I told you to watch them!"

"I did watch them," Hunter replied in his own defense, "I watched them kiss and I enjoyed it very much,"

Trish rolled her eyes and Shawn went back over to the boys table while Lita collapsed over the girls table spilling hot egg and zucchini all over herself, "Get it together woman its not like you've never been kissed before," Trish said passively.

"Go back upstairs you're ruining my last breakfast as a single woman," Lita said taking the egg off her lap and putting it in her mouth, she picked up a red bell pepper and threw it at HBK who had his mouth open at the boys table waiting for it.

"Nice throw you got it right in my mouth," Shawn said chomping down on the spicy pepper like it was chewing gum.

"There's still tomorrow morning and there's more breakfast in your future, you have to get ready your hair's a mess and your make-up case hasn't been opened since you hooked up with Mr. Bell Pepper over there," Trish said and Lita blew her hair out of her face in frustration.

"Trish what are you still doing here talking about my hair when you look like you've been in the ceiling fan all morning?" Lita said and Trish smiled to herself amorously.

"That reminds me, we need to have our sex talk later on; I know exactly what HBK likes in the bedroom," Trish said loudly and Shawn Michaels blushed.

"I ain't putting Lita in no ceiling fan," he said and Lita and the other women at the girls table laughed, Trish leaned over to Lita and told her something quietly.

"I'm serious but since you think I'm clueless, make sure you talk to Jeff Hardy before you and Shawn go on your honeymoon because he has something really important to give you okay sweetie?" she said kindly and Lita nodded confused and continued eating her eyes suddenly on the woman with the cake box wrapped in a fancy red bow.

"What are you doing here?" Hunter said getting up and going over to his ex-wife with Chyna and LC right beside him in fight mode, the presence of Stephanie McMahon putting them right off their breakfast.

"I come in peace," Stephanie said ignoring the urge to take the cake and smash it into Chyna's face then toss LC in the box and wrap the bow around it and post it to Alaska with no return address, "I bought dessert for the wedding,"

Shawn and Lita walked over to the box and exchanged suspicious glances, "Do you want to ask her or should I?" Lita asked Shawn.

"No I got more beef with this woman than Chyna, Hunter, LC and Paul Heyman put together, I'll take care of this," Shawn said and Stephanie got nervous as Shawn's eyes pierced her own like the sword tattoo on his arm, "Who is this cake from?" he asked and Stephanie gulped.

"I just said it's from me what did I do something wrong?" she said and HBK tore off the red ribbon and opened the box. Lita handed him a fork and he handed it to Stephanie.

"Eat it," he said and Stephanie tried not to laugh.

"You want me to eat your wedding present?" she said incredulous but she could see that Shawn and Lita were onto her, what a shame they thought she was the one they had to worry about as Vince and Shane appeared at the back window signalling for her to hurry up and let them in, "Okay," Stephanie said trying not to look nervous and ate a piece of the strawberry cheesecake supreme and it tasted really good, much better than she thought it would ever have tasted, "Hmmm, this is really good," she said taking another bite, then another, then another and her brother knocked his head against his hand and moaned.

"Steph don't eat the cake!" he said as his baby sister devoured the dessert she was supposed to buy for Shawn and Lita much to Vince's disappointment; he forgot how much his baby girl liked to eat.

"Good thing I bought a back up," the wrestling mogul said picking up the luxurious banana crème pie he bought on the way over, "Now all we have to do is get Stephanie to sneak this one into the refrigerator,"

"What about the poison?" Shane asked.

"I already added it, we're all set," Vince assured his son who sighed in relief and adoration of his father's tenacity then looked back through the glass and everyone was eating Shawn and Lita's wedding dessert now.

"Man that must be some good cake," Shane said and clapped his lips together hungrily feeling the need for something sweet and looked down at the luxurious banana crème pie.

"Okay she's coming over, get down so no-one can see us," Vince said to his only son but Shane didn't answer, "Shane O?" Vince called but still no reply came, the mogul got angry and was about to nudge Shane harshly on the shoulder when he saw him slumped over on Melina and Nitro's flowerbed with banana crème pie all over his face, "Shane!" Vince screamed and everyone turned to the back window and Stephanie made a run for it cake box in hand while everybody else ran outside to the McMahons to see what was going on.

"What the Hell is going on here?" Nitro said angrily, "Our azaleas are ruined!" oblivious to the fact that Shane was unconscious but Melina knew something wasn't right immediately, Trish laughed and called up to her guest bedroom.

"Rocky look out the window!" she yelled as the Miraculous one healed Shane's poisoned body.

"What in the blue Hell is going on down there?" Rocky said shirtless with Trish's hot pink bra on his head.

"We really need to be more selective in who we invite over honey," Nitro said to his wife who was less concerned with The Truth's robust sex life and more concerned about the toxicants she just took out of Shane McMahon's body. As he came around she helped him up and cradled his back and asked him if he knew he had eaten a poisoned pastry.

"You don't have to answer that Shane, now say thank you to our former Women's Champion and let's go," Vince said ushering his son away from the concerned face of Melina the Miraculous and the hysterical cackles of Shawn, Lita, Hunter and Chyna.

"They tried to poison us," Shawn laughed along with Lita who couldn't even stand up straight she was laughing so hard.

"And they ended up poisoning themselves," she said and patted Melina on the back proudly, "Nice one mi hermana, me and Shawn knew Stephanie was up to something but Shane and Vince really take the cake,"

"Take the cake - you just made that up, how did you come up with that you're so funny Lita I love you," Shawn said taking his girl up in his arms and swinging her around and went to kiss her when Trish's hot pink bra landed on his face and everyone looked up at the People's Champ.

"Get a room you jabronis!" The Rock said and Shawn and Lita rubbed their noses together affectionately.

"I've got just the room in mind, my bedroom back in Georgia, let's get the wedding preparations over and done with so we can go back to my place and have some privacy for a change," Lita said biting her bottom lip carnally still tasting Shawn on it from their kiss before and HBK lost his balance and Hunter caught him.

"Steady as you go cowboy, you're gonna need your balance when you're riding dirty," Hunter said and Shawn pulled away from him irritated while Cryme Tyme gave Hunter snaps because that line was one of theirs.

"What would you need privacy for you're not gonna do anything until after the wedding," Trish reminded Shawn and Lita who yawned bored of her lecture, "You guys I'm serious, you're getting way too attached to each other and the wedding's less than a day away; if you have sex before marriage you would have fornicated and broken God's law and that means, no more magic tattoos, no more Righteous Indignation - "

"No more Anointing," Lita finished and Trish nodded fervently.

"Exactly so take Hunter's advice and go steady alright?" Trish said and Lita looked down at Melina and Nitro's crushed flower bed about to trample on something equally delicate.

"I don't care about my Anointing anymore," she said and Trish and Melina's faces dropped in horror, but Lita wasn't fazed she was dead serious, "ATM are gonna disband when Jeff comes back to life anyway, so what's the point in holding onto something that I'm going to lose?"

Trish looked at Lita concerned that she was about to make the biggest mistake of her life, "You're seriously thinking about having sex before marriage?" she asked already knowing the answer and Lita nodded that she was and Trish shook her head in disappointment, "You really disappoint me Lita," she said and Lita looked at her surprised at the sudden solemnity in her voice, "You're my inspiration my role model, you went from being the most despised WWE Diva of all time to being an Anointed American hero that has a free pass to the Bushes anytime of the year all because of the calling God put on your life and now you're more than willing to throw the last incredible life-changing months of our lives away just so you can fulfill your girlhood fantasy and have sex with the Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels?"

"Yeah," Lita said not understanding what Trish was so upset about, "ATM is over its time to go back to being Lita again and Lita want to make love to this man right here," Lita said pointing to Shawn and went to reach around his waist but he pulled back in disgust tears burning the back of his eyes, "What's the matter?" Lita asked concerned.

"I should have listened to Hunter and stayed away from you," Shawn said wiping the tears away from his face, "Now I understand why Trish didn't want us to kiss because she knew that it would uncover the Truth,"

"What Truth that I love you and I want to make love to you there's no doubt about it Shawn I'm not afraid to admit it," Lita said trying to console him but Shawn backed away from her.

"The Truth that all you want is fulfill a fantasy, to have sex with the Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels just so you can say you had sex with Shawn Michaels," Shawn said his voice breaking under the weight of his pain.

"No Shawn that's not true!" Lita insisted.

"Yes it is!" Shawn yelled back furiously, "You were willing to give up your Anointing so we could have sex you know what that means? I'll tell you what it means it means that you don't even care about what God has done for you, for me, for your friends for my friends and my family," Shawn continued and now Lita was crying.

"Shawn that's not what I meant - " she tried to explain but Shawn was convinced that she was gonna play him like a ping-pong ball.

"Maybe you didn't hear the song so allow me to repeat it for you "I'm not your boy toy!" I'm not your next conquest I'm just a fool in love with a woman who never even existed except in my mind; you say the character Vince created was a fantasy, well I say Anointed Amy was a fantasy and I wanted to marry that woman not the sexy Diva in the smoking hot bikini," Shawn cried.

"SHUT UP JUST SHUT UP!" Lita roared her eyes burning with rage and her hair alight flickering in hot locks that made everyone including Shawn step back, "IT WAS THAT GIRL YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH AND I'M THE SAME GIRL STANDING RIGHT HERE!" she yelled, "YOU ARE SUCH A HYPOCRITE YOU WANT THE WOMAN AND THE SLUT ADMIT IT?"

"Lita calm down," Trish said quietly pulling Lita to one side but the Anointed one pushed her away furiously causing The Rock to run downstairs to help but no-one could get near Lita right now.

"STAND BACK!" she roared as everyone approached her.

"Do as she says," Trish told everyone including The Rock who looked over at HBK who was trembling with fear.

"Shawn talk her down she's just mad that's all!" he called.

"Yeah she's upset say something nice to her!" Hunter called out as Shawn continued to back away from the Anointed one who was coming closer and closer to him narrowing the distance between them and backing Shawn onto the garden wall.

"I can't," Shawn said panting frantically, "It's the truth she's just using me," he said and Lita's hair blew up in hot lashes and she struck Shawn hard across the face with them.

"Don't!" Trish said as Hunter tried to help Shawn, "She'll kill you if you go near her!"

"Shawn get away from her she's crazy!" Hunter yelled.

"No she's just horny!" Shawn yelled back and everyone looked at him like he was the crazy one, "It was the Kiss of Life it set her body on fire now all she can think about is sex," HBK explained and everyone understood now why Trish was so mad at them for kissing before the wedding; they were about to have the cataclysmic reaction The Truth warned them about and suddenly Saturday seemed a long way away. Shawn gripped the garden wall as Lita's hot flesh burned against his skin her hot tongue scaring his cheek as he turned away from the unbearable heat coming from her mouth as she spoke.

"Give into me," she whispered seductively and Shawn's heart started to race but he held fast to his conviction; they were going to wait until the wedding; if she burned the flesh off his bones he was marry her just the same.

"What we have is greater than sex, its better than a really important friendship: its love Lita and I'm willing to die for it, do as you wish with my heart, it's the only thing that I can give you free of charge, but the sex is gonna cost you big-time if we have it too soon," Shawn said bravely hardly able to hear himself talk over his pounding heartbeat. He didn't know if he had gotten through to Lita until she wrapped her cooling arms around him and cried against his chest, HBK comforted her lovingly rocking her back and forth and praised God for His mercies which were abundant and plentiful where his relationship with Lita was concerned.

Melina doused the other wrestlers and co. with the hose as they had all sweated through their threads at the scary event that had taken place; not that Lita had turned into a human ball of fire but that she had nearly lost the only man that really loved her, in all the many faces she had painted on herself and especially the one Shawn was looking at now.

"Wanna get wet?" Lita asked Shawn back to her Anointed self smiling into Shawn's loving and compassionate face.

"There'll be plenty of time for that my love now let's go shopping, there's a sexy red dress with your name on it," Shawn said sweetly and he strolled with Lita to the Hummer H2 ready to go with a very impressed Randy Orton sitting in the driver's seat.

"You guys scared the crap outta me," The King's Oracle said opening the door for Melina who got into the passenger seat while Shawn opened the back for Lita to get in, "You know how much its gonna cost me to get this car repainted?"

Shawn and Lita inspected the ruined paint job the black metallic paint had run thanks to Lita's supernatural outburst, "I'll get Jeff to repaint it when he gets outta Heaven," Lita said and TKO turned his nose up at the ex-Team Extreme Queen repulsed.

"No I'll take care of it, Jeff Hardy ain't getting nowhere near my ride, the guy paints like he's on drugs," Randy said starting up the car.

"Come on I wanna see the red dress!" Melina said seeing Nitro running towards them from the corner of her eye and really didn't want to be shopping for Shawn and Lita's wedding with him around.

"Melina he's your husband you can't run from him forever," Shawn told the Miraculous one.

"I'm not gonna run forever, just for the next few hours," Melina replied and Shawn and Randy exchanged panicked glances.

"Few hours?" they said at the same-time and Shawn wound down the window and yelled out for the Kliq to follow them; the idea of shopping for a dress with Melina for more than twenty minutes was too much for two men to bare alone.

"You do realize that Hunter's gonna be in the changing room with me as I'm trying on the dress?" Lita said and Shawn nodded as Hunter squeezed through the other side of Randy's car, tape measure in hand and Chyna on his lap and LC on hers.

"If I take your measurements now it will give me and the Kliq more time to get Shawn drunk before your big day," Hunter explained.

"I know what size she is the dress has already been reserved hasn't it Randy?" Shawn asked TKO who nodded, his car-phone rang suddenly and he answered it wondering who it was since everyone he knew was within earshot, "Hello?"

"Who is it?" Melina asked him seeing the bewildered look on his face as he turned to face Shawn and Lita.

"That was the store clerk, she sold the dress!" Randy said in disbelief.

"To who?" Lita said confused and Shawn and Hunter already knew.

"Looks like its time for some more DX antics," Shawn said to his DX partner both knowing that Vince and Shane had bought the dress knowing that it was a present for Lita.

"No guys don't there's not enough time, we've got to focus on the more important things in life like love, peace and good will to all mankind," Lita said in a new age voice and Shawn, Hunter and Chyna just stared at her blankly, "I'm sorry I forgot who I was getting married to," she said sheepishly and Shawn and Hunter hugged her while Chyna and LC looked on.

"Man its getting cold in here," Hunter said as they three of them shivered slightly, then it occurred to him that Aurora Rose was missing, "Where's Lil' H?" he asked Chyna and LC who shook their heads that they didn't know.

"We thought you had her," LC said as the ground started to ice over, "Stephanie!" the little warrior princess yelled clenching her fists angrily and Chyna gasped.

"Stephanie must have taken her while she was sleeping, but is that kidnapping or just a really big cry for help?" Chyna said.

"Both," Hunter said with a vengeful glint in his eyes as Randy's car slid back and crashed into the other vehicles that were trying to move on the ice but it was no good no-one could stop sliding around.

"Those stupid McMahons are using Ro-Ro to stop the wedding!" Shawn Michaels said clinging to Lita their heat warming up Randy's Hummer giving everyone inside the same idea.

"Shawn you need to get Lita angry again," Hunter said and HBK refused.

"No I can't I love her too much to hurt her feelings," Shawn said hugging Lita close to him.

"But we're gonna freeze to death!" Melina said clinging to Randy who suddenly didn't mind freezing to death at all.

"And what about the wedding, you can't let the McMahons spoil your big day!" Chyna pleaded with the Anointed Couple and Lita came up with a better idea; she thought of the one person who had hurt her more than any man she had ever known and suddenly the ice began to melt as her Righteous Indignation burned inside and outside the car and filling all the wrestlers and her friends with a warm cozy feeling forgetting about the ice and only thinking about love.

"How'd you do that Big Red?" Hunter asked dialing Stephanie's cell phone which went straight to voicemail.

"I thought of my father and all the pain he's caused me since I was a little girl to now," Lita said sadly and Shawn pulled her into a hug wondering as Hunter left an angry message on his ex-wife's cell phone if this was a pain even a sexy red dress could take away and thanks to The McMahons he might never know, so he thought of another way to cheer up his beautiful bride-to-be as Randy drove towards Fashion Valley home, the huge San Diego mall with the other wrestlers and friends in tow who between fire and ice couldn't get enough adventures with ATM and the men who drove them crazy.


	25. To Daddy

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece?

Chapter Twenty Five - To Daddy

Fashion Valley Home, San Diego, CA, 9am:

Nitro, Shelton, Cryme Tyme, Edge and Undertaker walked side by side while Melina, Trish, Krystal and the other WWE Divas and TNA Knockouts discussed where the best places would be to go to buy Lita and Shawn's wedding gifts.

"I say we get them a blanket with both their names on it, so they have something to keep them warm," Trish said and Melina turned her nose up looking at the boutiques noticing the expensive shoes in the window.

"I'm going in here," she said entering the shop, the Divas walked on but Krystal entered with her, "Hey Krys thanks for following me in here I don't look so sad now," Melina said waving to the store clerk and pointing at the shoes in the window, "How much are those?" she said pointing at the ruby red wrap around sandals.

"$2500," the store clerk replied simply and Melina signaled for her to wrap 'em up because she was taking them right now and the store clerk beamed enthusiastically, "Would you like to see the dress that goes with the shoes?" she asked hopefully and Melina said yes.

"If the dress is hot I'll give it to Shawn to replace the one that The McMahons stole," Melina said to Krystal as the store clerk went to retrieve the dress and Krystal nodded but she was nervously looking through the window at Nitro, Shelton and Cryme Tyme who were about to walk past and Melina picked up on it, "What's wrong honey?" she asked her gently and Krystal breathed heavily.

"It's you Melina," she answered directly, "the way you and Nitro have been avoiding each other ever since he kissed Ashley and Brooke has really turned me off marrying Shelton,"

"Good don't marry him, if you don't want reality marriage is not for you," Melina replied and Krystal turned her nose up.

"I am not living in a fantasy world look at Lita and Shawn, they fight and they make up, you fight and its like you don't even love each other anymore, you're so unhappy mami," Krystal continued and Melina looked down careful not to say anything she couldn't take back but it was hard when she was about to buy Lita a pair of shoes and maybe a dress to seduce a man the way her husband had been seduced. Krystal opened the shop door and hollered for the boys to come in and Melina sighed not wanting things to get ugly when Nitro stepped through the door, but as soon as she saw him it was like he was waiting for her to punch him and that was wrong, Krystal wasn't exaggerating she was an unhappily married woman and there was no denying it something had to be done.

"Sweetie please forgive me I can't stand that you're mad at me, I'm sorry I really am," Nitro pleaded, "I'll buy you everything in this store just stop looking at me like that,"

"I can't I hate you!" Melina cried angrily, "Why did you marry me if you didn't want to commit to me? Why did you stick with me for so long and put up with my bad attitude only to betray me twice to women who don't love you?"

"Because I can that's why," Nitro shouted back and Shelton and Cryme Tyme jumped on him begging him to be quiet, "Here me out okay?" he said to everyone walking over to his wife and taking her hand, "I read Playboy and kiss other girls but I come home to you; my wife, my love, the only woman walking this Earth that I would kill for and that burns you up and I like it that way," he explained and Melina shook her head in disbelief pulling away from him angrily.

"You can't Nitro its not fair, if I kissed every guy that looked at me I'd be with Randy Orton right now," Melina said and Nitro gasped in shock, "That's right he hasn't stopped thinking about me since his obsession with me last Christmas and New Years, should I kiss him Nitro? Would you like that?"

"No I wouldn't and you better not start up with him again he's bad for you!" Nitro warned her and Melina felt her blood boiling.

"Not as bad for me as you are Johnny; love is supposed to feel good and if loving you means looking over my shoulder to see who you're kissing every two seconds this marriage won't last more than a year. Can you keep your eyes and lips to yourself?" Melina asked her husband desperate for him to say that he could so she could rebuild her trust in him again.

"No I can't so you better learn to live with it," Nitro said and Shelton slapped him around the head.

"You have to submit to your wife, if she don't want you kissing other girls you can't kiss other girls," Shelton said and Krystal smiled knowing that Shelton would make the perfect husband if there was such a thing, "You're taking Melina for granted,"

"Exactly," Cryme Tyme said.

"I am not I'm just flirtatious, it's not like I got Ashley or Brooke pregnant, its just kissing!" Nitro retaliated.

"Well you're breaking my heart!" Melina said.

"Here's the dress," the store clerk said coming out to them holding a ruby studded embroidered Piqué swing dress with pockets and a scalloped hemline; it was the perfect dress in Melina's eyes for Lita, she wondered if the one Shawn saw back in Tijuana looked better than this, there was only one man who would know and she was thinking about him more and more these days, "What do you think?" the store clerk asked as Melina stared at the beautiful red apparel.

"We'll take it," Nitro said whipping out his credit card and the store clerk gushed recognizing him instantly.

"Oh my God you're Johnny Nitro," she said excited, "you are so hot Melina's a very lucky woman," she said taking the credit card and the dress over to the counter while Melina asked Nitro what he was doing.

"This is a gift from me not you," she snapped.

"No it's a gift from one married couple to a future married couple; you're not getting out of this marriage Melina its you and me forever, excuse me miss!" Nitro called over to the store clerk who looked up still in shock from having Johnny Nitro in her boutique, "make sure the card reads from Melina and Johnny Hennigan," Nitro said and the store clerk nodded reluctantly wishing it was her name she was writing, she didn't know that marriage was much more than waking up to a pretty face and a hot bod every morning, if she did her face would look less like Krystal's and more like Melina's right now and it wasn't pretty, "Who's the dress for if you don't mind me asking," the store clerk asked Melina.

"A dear friend of mine with red hair and great legs," Melina said.

"Well this is the dress for her, please send me a picture of her wearing it, customers like to see beautiful women wearing our clothes it gives them something to strive to," the store clerk said and Melina smiled taking the bag with the shoes and dress inside.

"If there was ever a woman to be like my Big Red sister in Christ is a good place to start," Melina said and the store clerk frowned wondering who this woman was and how lucky she was to have a friend with such great taste in clothes and men.

As Melina and Krystal left the shop with Nitro, Shelton and Cryme Tyme, LAX, Samoa Joe, CM Punk, Maria and John Cena were in an antique gun store buying HBK and Big Red a classic marble Smith and Wesson of all things.

"I don't like this," John Cena said looking around at all the guns and shaking his head, "Forgive me but I don't really feel safe in here with you guys,"

"Is this because Punk shot you?" Maria said to her babyfather.

"You're so smart Maria really you should work for NASA," Cena replied and Maria frowned.

"You mean that thing with all the cars going really fast?" she asked confused and LAX laughed.

"You escaped a landmine when you dumped her Punk," Konnan said, "Cena's talking about NASA and she's thinking about NASCAR,"

Punk shook his head in agreement amazed at how many times he had corrected Maria in the past, "You'd be surprised how much you put up with for a pretty face and a hot body," Punk said.

"No I wouldn't," came the sour and depressed voice of Melina the Miraculous who wondered into the store aimlessly while Krystal, Shelton, Nitro and Cryme Tyme caught up with Edge, Undertaker and the other WWE Superstars, "Hey guys, Cena how come you're here?"

"Well since me and Maria are back together I figured I'd get to know her friends a little better since she already knows all of mine, why so blue what's with you?" Cena asked Melina as Homicide, Hernandez, Konnan, Punk and Joe kissed her hand out of respect for her and her miraculous healing abilities which she used by placing her hands on Konnan's hip and healed the fractured bone enabling him to walk once again without the need for a wheelchair.

"I heal you in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit and I declare it done in Jesus' name, Amen," she said and opened her eyes as Konnan got to his feet and walked up and down to the utter shock of his boyz, "That's better, now I don't feel so blue, see you guys later," she said to everyone who blew kisses of gratitude and adulaton at her and Maria and Cena decided to follow her while LAX decided which gun to buy for Shawn and Lita.

"I think we should get them one each, so if things go wrong they can do like Romeo and Juliet and blow each other's brains out," Homicide said and Hernandez slapped him up side the head.

"That was a movie there were no guns in Shakespeare's time," Hernandez said.

"No guns in Shakespeare's time? I guess that's how come he spent all his time writing those violent plays instead," Homicide said and Punk and Joe gawked at the twin guns Konnan was having engraved with Shawn and Lita's name on them.

"Konnan God may not like that," Samoa Joe said biting into his ham and egg bagel.

"It's not like they need anymore power they're freaking Anointed," Punk said.

"Guns are the American way amigos, I don't feel right unless I know a young married couple have a gun in the house; there are a lot of crazy single people out there who would kill you before they let you lay hands on them the way Melina just did on me," Konnan said.

"But Lita can kill anyone who harms her or those she cares about," Punk explained.

"That's now, what about after ATM disbands?" Konnan said and Punk and Joe thought about it.

"Better buy some antique bullets to go with 'em," Punk said changing his mind forgetting that Lita, Trish and Melina were going to go back to normal after the wedding and in that case having a gun in the house wasn't a bad idea, after all, there were a lot of crazy people out there and Shawn had two kids and now a wife to protect.

"To serve and to protect - that's our motto," Homicide said putting his hand over his heart proudly.

"No that's the police motto, ours is 5150," Hernandez said

"Oh yeah, BRURRAAHHH!" Homicide cried with one of the guns in his hand as the best friends left the shop to find the TNA wrestlers and find out what they were buying for Shawn and Lita who were sitting together on Sunset Cliffs while their friends and family shopped for their wedding gifts. It was kind of dangerous for them to be alone together since they couldn't resist touching each other but they had promised Trish and Hunter that they would be on their best behavior and so far they had held up to their agreement and were just holding hands facing each other on the cliff looking down at Ocean Beach.

"So you think Melina's in love with Randy too?" Lita asked Shawn concerned about her little sister in Christ who seemed to be struggling to stay happy these days.

Shawn shrugged not really one to talk about other people unless it was Hunter or Stephanie, "I dunno I don't wanna get involved, its just that Randy's liked Melina forever and Nitro doesn't seem to be making her very happy, she even mistook me for him once," he said and Lita remembered when that happened.

"Oh yeah that was at Trish and Carlito's house," Lita said and now she started to think about her other sister in Christ who didn't seem too happy either, "To think Trish and Carlito only just moved in together, what am I gonna do with my sisters in Christ Shawn? It looks like they're gonna go back to their old ways after ATM disbands; Trish is gonna start lying again and Mel's gonna start bitching about Nitro again,"

"Maybe you don't have to disband, God could change His mind and keep ya'll together," Shawn said circling her knuckles with his thumb giving Lita a little jolt of pleasure.

"She's watching us you know," Lita said and Shawn released her hands and started looking around for Trish nervously, "Sucka!" Lita said and Shawn went red with embarrassment; that was the third time Lita had fooled him, "You're making me paranoid woman cut it out," he said pulling out his hair and flicking it about his shoulders. As he combed it out Lita noticed the initial letter tattooed around his finger; it was R for Rebecca and she smiled thinking about his beautiful wife sitting in Heaven with her beloved friend Jeff Hardy watching Shawn comb out his honey blond locks with the most serene look on his face.

"I could do this all day," she said on her stomach cradling her face with her hands looking at Shawn like fine piece of art and the Showstoppa smiled at her adoringly.

"I feel the same way but eventually I'm gonna stop looking and just touch you," he said softly leaning on his side his face shadowing her own, "I'm gonna start here," he said tracing a finger down her nose down to her chin, "then I'm gonna stop and kiss you for a minute," he said with a bright look in his eye, "after that I guess we'll just have to make love," he said with a promising glint in his eye and Lita sighed in anticipation rolling onto her side and kept rolling until she was on the edge of the cliff and looked down at the crashing waves over the rocks below. She was on the edge of marriage and Shawn was so calm, cool and collected while she felt more like those waves crashing against each other dying for contact with the solid rocks. A strong arm suddenly curled around her waist and pulled her back over to the grass where it was safe, looking up into Shawn's warm blue grey eyes she knew there was no chance of her getting hurt as long as she was in his arms. The cliff began to shake and the tremor could be felt all over San Diego.

"Uh-oh," Lita said as her cell-phone rang, Shawn's did as well and they answered at the same-time knowing who was calling.

"BEHAVE YOURSELVES!" Trish yelled with Hunter who called Shawn at the same-time that she called Lita.

"OKAY!" Shawn and Lita yelled back and hung up lying on their backs looking up at the clouds together.

"You know they're watching us right?" Lita said to her beloved sweetheart.

"Who Jeff and Rebecca? Yeah I know there'll probably laughing at us," he said disgruntled folding his arms over his chest, "Must be entertaining seeing us struggle like this,"

"Only one more day to go my love, then you can have me just as you want me and Trish and Hunter can SUCK IT!" Lita said and Shawn started to laugh.

"WE HEARD THAT!" Trish and Hunter said still connected on the other side of the phone and Shawn and Lita responded by tossing their cell phones over the cliff.

"That's better, now we can enjoy each other's company in peace," Shawn said rolling over onto his stomach while Lita stretched her arms over her head in an effort to relax, but as her hand accidentally touched Shawn's hair she knew they couldn't be alone, it was just too dangerous.

"Let's go see a man about a dog," she suggested getting to her feet and Shawn jumped up too and pulled himself together trying not to think of Lita naked anymore, but it was hard and every now and again so was he.

"Down boy!" he whispered to his crotch as Lita jumped on his back and did a Litacanrana tossing him into the bushes, while she skipped ahead making her way to the Fashion Valley mall giving Shawn a moment to realize he'd been outwrestled, it wouldn't be long before he started running after her or so she thought, five minutes later Shawn was nowhere to be found.

"Shawn?" Lita called out coming back over to the cliff side where she saw Shawn being dragged by an older man into a pick up truck, "Shawn!" she cried out running over to it but she couldn't get there in time and her heart nearly stopped as she memorized the license plate, she pulled out her cell-phone frantically and dialed the first number that came to mind, "Mom, Dad just kidnapped Shawn!" she cried down the phone as the truck sped away, "And if he hurts him I swear by my Lord and Savior I will kill him!"

"Lita!" a familiar voice called out and the Anointed one looked up to see Stephanie waving at her to come quick, "Call him and talk some sense into him Mom!" she told her mother who nodded that she would try and Lita hung up.

"Stephanie I don't have time to talk I've gotta go after my Dad he's kidnapped Shawn!" Lita told the Billion Dollar Princess who nodded that she knew.

"I know my Dad told him to," Stephanie said and Lita nearly lost her mind.

"But your Dad hates my Dad why would he do that?" Lita said then she remembered that Vince was pissed because he wasn't invited to the wedding, "Call your father and tell him he's invited okay, enough's enough!" Lita said shocked at how far Vince McMahon would go to get his way.

"You think this is about your wedding?" Stephanie said and Lita nodded, "Your father says Vince owes him $1 million dollars and if he doesn't get it he's gonna take it out on you by hurting Shawn so badly he won't be able to make it to Tijuana for the wedding tomorrow," Stephanie explained and Lita flew into a rage.

"Why is he doing this to me!" she cried angrily and Stephanie tried to calm her down but she was furious and that was not good for anyone within the San Diego area or any of the neighboring states.

"I'll tell Dad to give him the money and in exchange you'll have to invite my family to the wedding," Stephanie said and Lita nodded, anything to keep Shawn safe from harm.

"This is supposed to be the happiest time of my life Steph, why is he going out of his way to ruin it for me?" Lita said wrought with frustration pulling her hair out.

"I used to feel the same way about my father but we can't choose our parents Lita, we can chose our own family though," Stephanie replied and it was then that Lita noticed the sterling silver rattle in Stephanie's hand. "Hunter may have moved on but there's a part of him that still belongs to me and her name is Aurora," Stephanie said.

"That's Hurricane Aurora," Hunter said coming down towards them with Trish.

"Before you say anything Stephanie told me what's going on," Lita said putting her hand up in protest.

"I would have told you first if you didn't throw away your cell phone!" Trish responded angrily, "Come on your father's heading for Chris Jericho's apartment in downtown L.A where Vince, Shane and Linda are waiting for him,"

"So we're just gonna give Lita's dad $1 million dollars just like that after what he put her and my best friend through?" Hunter said disgusted and Stephanie shook Aurora's rattle from side-to-side with a sly grin on her face.

"Oh I wouldn't say he'll be getting off that easily," she said with a vengeful gleam in her eye and Hunter smiled understanding what she meant and wrapped his arm around Lita who was still seething with rage.

"Your father's gonna find out what it means to mess with the Kliq," Hunter said assuring the angry red-head that everything was gonna be okay, "you're part of the family now, and what hurts you hurts me and I ain't down with nobody hurting my boy's future ex-wife,"

"Whad'ya mean "ex-wife"?" Trish said insulted by Hunter's choice of words.

"Hey if it could happen to me it could happen to anybody," Hunter said and Stephanie rolled her eyes.

"Don't mind him he's just bitter now let's roll," Stephanie said getting into Jericho's car and Trish, Lita and Hunter got in with her noticing the baby strapped into the front seat.

"Look sweetie its Daddy," Stephanie said to Aurora who was reaching out for her rattle but Hunter shook his head at her, "Not yet Aurora, not yet," he said and kissed her on the forehead as Stephanie drove off towards L.A for a showdown with Lita's Daddy for the last time.


	26. Armed and Dangerously in Love

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece?

Chapter Twenty Six - Armed and Dangerously in Love

Tattoo Me Parlour, Fashion Valley Home Mall, San Diego, CA:

Back in Fashion Valley Home things were getting very competitive amongst the wrestlers, everyone was getting anxious about the presents they were buying for Shawn and Lita and what they were going to wear for the wedding tomorrow. As far as the whackiest gifts were concerned LAX definitely were in 1st place with their personalized guns with Shawn and Lita's name engraved on the hilt, but Undertaker wasn't far behind.

"You still haven't explained to us how this is a wedding present for Shawn and Lita," Edge asked The Undertaker who was getting a tattoo of Shawn and Lita on his back, Matt Hardy picked up the sketch the tattoo artist was using, it was a picture his brother Jeff had drawn back in NC and he gave it to The Deadman when they were getting to know each other.

"Why are you doing this Mark, it's gonna hurt you far worse than the one you got on your neck?" Matt said.

Undertaker winced as the tattoo artist began to sew the outline of Lita's head on his shoulder blade, "Because Jeff drew it for me and I want to honor his talent," he answered, "since we're not friends anymore this is something of his I'll always have to keep,"

"I don't like this," Melina said furrowing her brow nervously, "the Bible is very clear on marking our bodies, the Lord looks down on tattoos,"

"But Shawn and Lita both have tattoos and they're both Christians," Christian said admiring Undertaker's gift to the Anointed Couple, "I think it's a great wedding gift and I think they'll really love it when they see it,"

"I don't know, I need to speak to Trish, Randy can you give me a ride to Chris Jericho's house?" Melina asked The King's Oracle much to Nitro's concern.

"Why are you going to Chris Jericho's house?" Nitro asked her suspiciously and Melina turned away from him.

"It doesn't concern you only us real Christians," she said and Randy Orton smirked and Shelton sighed in frustration.

"Here we go again," Carlito said to himself shaking his head, "Nitro and Melina at each other's throats just like I remember it, I thought marriage would have changed you two but you're just as miserable as you were when you were dating,"

Cryme Tyme nodded and Edge agreed, "Why did you two even get married if all you wanna do is fight with other over nothing?" he asked, "That's not what marriage is about,"

"Yeah that's why you've broken so many of them up," Matt Hardy added and Edge growled at him but Matt smiled back thinking how awesome it was to put Edge in his place.

"You two need to remember why you got married in the first place and stop tearing each other down," Edge continued ignoring his arch enema and everyone waited for Melina and Nitro to answer.

"Why did you get married?" Krystal asked and everyone's gaze was fixed on the unhappily married couple including the tattoo artist, that was until Undertaker gave her a warning glare and she resumed her work on Lita's hazel eyes.

"Well I wanted to keep her away from the demon that was using Randy Orton to take her miraculous healing powers away back in January, plus she's my best friend and she's having my baby what more reason do I need to get married apart from those?" Nitro answered and everyone nodded convinced.

"Okay that's reasonable enough," Matt Hardy said and everyone agreed but Edge remained silent and Matt Hardy frowned at him, "Well what do you think Adam?" he said mockingly and Edge told him to shush so he could think. He looked at Melina then took her hand squeezing it gently.

"Usted no tiene que contestar a esto / you don't have to answer this," he started and Melina nodded, "Pero apenas porque Trish no está aquí no significa que usted puede mentir a nosotros o a usted mismo / But just because Trish isn't here doesn't mean you can lie to us or yourself,"

Melina nodded and squeezed her lids tight and a single tear streamed down her face, her throat tight with anxiety over what Edge was going to ask her, "Okay," she said putting on a brave face.

"Usted casó nitro para la protección/ Did you marry Nitro for protection?" Edge asked her and Melina nodded.

"Quisiera que él me protegiera contra Randy/ I wanted him to protect me from Randy," Melina answered sobbing heavily looking at Randy who hid his face behind Undertaker who gripped him on the shoulder and told him to be strong.

"Edge I think you've said enough," The Deadman said as the tattoo artist drew the outline of HBK on his left shoulder blade, "there's no need to air all of Nitro and Melina's dirty laundry out here in front of the wrestling world and our enemies," he said giving TNA a death glare and Sting, America's Most Wanted, Lance Hoyt, Kurt Angle, AJ Styles, Christopher Daniels, Christian Cage, Rhyno, the TNA Knockouts and the X Division Superstars glared right back.

"No there isn't time for pretending I want you to tell them the truth mama, tell them you were scared of Randy and what he was gonna do to you and you needed me to protect you from him, tell them that!" Nitro said earnestly.

"That's true but that's not the reason I married you," Melina said and Krystal wiped the tears from under Melina's eyes and tried to fix her make-up, a Diva could never be seen with her mascara running, it was in the WWE Divas bylaws.

"If you would let the woman talk she'd explain everything," Edge said and squeezed Melina's shoulder encouraging her to be strong and tell the Truth, "G'head mama tell him what you told me after we left the hospital the morning after you and Nitro got married,"

Nitro turned to Edge like he'd been shot by a .38 caliber, "What are you talking about?" he asked in horror that Edge knew something about his marriage and he was just finding out now in front of the WWE locker room and TNA rivals.

Melina thanked Krystal for fixing her make up and looked up at Nitro with a determined look on her face, "I married you because I was afraid of what would happen if I married Randy, I made a choice and it was out of fear not out of love, I was ready to leave you before New Years but that demon changed my mind, not my heart," she said and Nitro's fists tightened in rage.

"You better tell me you're not in love with Randy Orton or I'm gonna go crazy in this tattoo parlor," Nitro said a vein throbbing prominently in his forehead and in his neck but Melina wasn't scared, Edge was right, she wouldn't lie if Trish was here so why should she lie in The Truth's absence?

"I am in love with Randy Orton," she said and Randy jumped up and down ecstatically and started doing the Shane O Mac shuffle, "but I chose you didn't I? So now I want you to answer this question Johnny - did I make the right choice, or was marrying you the worst mistake of my life . . ." Melina trailed off and looked down at her swelling stomach, "Make that second?" she finished and Nitro jumped Randy and started beating the living crap out of him and Melina sighed storming out of the tattoo parlor with Krystal and Shelton, "Conjeturo que contesta a esa pregunta / I guess that answers that question," she said to herself.

"Wait for us!" Krystal and Shelton called after her as she stormed towards the lowrider bouncing up and down outside Tattoo Me, Konnan, Hernandez and Homicide looked up from their brightly colored vehicle concerned as their dear friend approached them.

"¿cuál es amor incorrecto/ What's wrong sweetheart?" Konnan asked Latina Heat.

"Casé a hombre incorrecto que es cuál es incorrecto / I married the wrong man that's what's wrong," Melina answered and LAX looked over at Samoa Joe and CM Punk confused.

"You and Johnny had an argument?" Punk asked and Melina sighed too tired to explain.

"Can you guys give me a ride to L.A I have to talk to my girls in Christ," she asked her friends who made room for her in the back of Konnan's lowrider which he was proud to be driving again.

"Anything for the woman who healed my legs," Konnan said and Krystal and Shelton tried to stop her.

"Don't go talk to Nitro," Shelton said, "maybe now that he knows you only married him for protection he's gonna beat the living crap outta Randy Orton!"

"Yeah then Vince might suspend both of them and they won't be able to go to Wrestlemania!" Krystal said.

"So? I've got more important things to worry about than who gets to be the next WWE Champion," Melina said bitterly.

"Speaking of, Cena what are you doing you're not coming with us?" CM Punk said as the WWE Champion tried to get in from the other side, it looked like he was running away from somebody and the bouncy figure following shortly behind him told Shelton and Krystal what was going on here.

"Guys please let me roll with you I can't take Maria's dumbass questions anymore," the WWE Champion said frantically, "She's actually thinking about asking Vince to let us do the Kiss Cam together at the beginning of RAW every week! The boys in the back are gonna laugh me outta the RAW locker room!"

"We pretty much do that anyway Cena," Shelton said.

LAX laughed, "Well she's your problem now vato, compromise is what marriage is all about, ain't that right Melina?" Homicide said to the frustrated Latina.

"Just drive," she said moodily clutching onto the dress and matching shoes she bought for Lita, the sound of glass shattering getting everyone's attention and she cringed in irritation and looked up at the WWE Champion who wondered what the Hell was going on in that tattoo parlor across the street, "Cena go and break those two up, I need some time to think and I can't do that without Trish and Lita,"

The Champ nodded getting out of the car and Shelton, Krystal and Maria watched as the lowrider sped off towards L.A.

"What did I miss?" Maria asked innocently rubbing her swelling stomach, John Cena sighed while Krystal and Shelton dragged him back into Tattoo Me where Nitro vs. Orton was still going; furniture was broken, ink was all over the tattoo parlor floor but the tattoo artist kept inking The Deadman; Undertaker insisted that she finish what she started saying that the tattoo was more important than what was going on in her parlor and after Taker assured her that he would pay for all the damages that Randy and Johnny caused she blotted the fighting WWE Superstars out and colored in Lita's red hair and Shawn's grey blue eyes admiring Jeff Hardy's sketch.

"If I didn't know better, I'd swear they were real," she said with admiration and Undertaker glared at her darkly and she swallowed her words down like a prescription pill without water as John Cena broke up Orton and Nitro.

"Knock it off!" he yelled, "You guys are representing the W out here in San Diego man, you're not off the clock in the W there's no days off! Now tell me what this is about?"

"Randy stole my girl!" Nitro said.

"She's my girl you just married her!" Randy retaliated and the two men went for each other again but Cena broke them up.

"Yo Tough Enough since you love your wife enough to get fired why don't you put your marriage on the line on Monday Night RAW?" Maria said and everyone turned to her in shock, "Isn't that what Shawn and Lita said you should do?" she said twirling a lock of her hair around her finger idly.

"Yeah that's right, Shawn and Lita said you should wrestle Randy for Melina's managerial services," Edge said to Nitro.

"No way I'm not wrestling for what's already mine!" Nitro replied offended.

"You're about as loving and caring as a starved Great White during Spring Break," John Cena said getting a laugh out of the WWE Superstars, the TNA rivals just stood there unamused, "I say the match goes ahead, I'll run it past Vince at the wedding reception tomorrow,"

Nitro pulled his hair out of his face in anger while Orton smirked, "To the victor go the spoils," Orton said intending to use Melina's managerial services to the fullest extent when he won the match, he'd lost his chance to make a life with Melina before, this time there was no demon to scare her away, Nitro had done that all by himself.

"Ain't it funny? Lita, Trish and Melina were all in love with the wrong man and I knew you were the man for me even when I was pregnant with Punk's baby that you killed in a jealous rage. The Lord works in mysterious ways," Maria said rubbing her stomach linking her arms with Cena's and everyone stared at her wondering why she was wearing the WWE Championship around her hips and she explained, "This is the only way I could get you to talk to me," she said and Cena lowered his head as his boys laughed at him.

"This is gonna be the world's longest engagement," he sighed.

"No that was Matt Hardy and Lita's," Edge said and the Sensei of Mattitude gave him a one finger salute which Edge returned with a V.1 salute only the V was missing.

"Its obvious why Lita didn't marry either of you two ass clowns," Carlito commented looking at Lita's ex fiancé's, "the Main Event, the Icon would never behave so childishly in front of our competition, that's not cool," Carlito said throwing his apple up and down before taking a huge bite out of it and Christian laughed along with his TNA buddies.

"Same old shit! Same old shit! Same old shit!" the TNA wrestlers chanted and Carlito spat apple in all their faces much to the WWE Superstars' delight.

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it," he replied and got snaps from his fellow RAW teammates who stood in a row and told TNA to SUCK IT in honor of their captains Shawn and Hunter of DeGeneration X, leaders of the wrestling world who were doing what they did best: making life Hell for The McMahons and Chris Jericho.


	27. Death Becomes Them

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece?

A/N: This chapter contains scenes of violence and may not be suitable for younger readers.

Chapter Twenty Seven - Death Becomes Them

Y2J's apartment, Downtown L.A, 10:30am:

Vince, Shane and Linda McMahon sat quietly around the coffee table in Chris Jericho's cool Los Angeles apartment waiting for Stephanie and Lita to arrive. Shawn had no choice he had to be quiet because he was gagged and blindfolded, he didn't know where he was all he knew was that Lita wasn't with him and Hunter was miles away.

Lita's father told The McMahons not to make a sound or he was gonna knock Shawn's head off and they believed him; the man was holding a sledgehammer for crying out loud and not the one Hunter was gonna use on him when he arrived, this one was dirty, rusty and heavy and if Mr. Dumas didn't get his $1 million dollars today he was gonna put it through Shawn's head, or so he thought.

"What was that?" Mr. Dumas called out as the apartment started to shake, he looked over at Chris Jericho for an answer, "Answer me blondie!" he roared at the quiet Canadian who hoped The McMahons knew what they were doing.

_Blondie?_ Shawn thought, _he can't be talking about Trish?_

"Speak to me you stupid Canuck!" Mr. Dumas roared again, "What you can't afford a real outfit so you had to make your own? What is that shirt made out of shrink wrap?"

"Jericho!" Shawn mumbled through his gag, "Where's Stephanie I know her father's behind this!" he spat but no-one said anything, mostly because they couldn't understand him but purely because there was an angry man wielding a sledgehammer over his head and they were scared to death.

"Shawn shut up," Jericho hissed but HBK wasn't in the negotiating mood; sensing someone was leaning over him he pushed the chair he was tied to back on its hind legs knocking Mr. Dumas into the wall, the he bolted forward towards the door and Vince and Shane ran after him and pulled him back into the centre of the room.

"Who are you?" Shawn yelled hysterically but the gag muffled his words, Vince and Shane said nothing and Linda watched for Stephanie on the doorstep waiting for this madness to end.

"You better pray he doesn't bleed, Lita won't ask questions if she sees her beloved's blood, she'll kill you on the spot," Jericho said and Shane and Linda gulped but Vince wasn't fazed; he was going to get his wedding invitation to the biggest wedding in WWE history one way or another but he really didn't think this thing through and now it was too late.

"Here they come," Linda called as Stephanie pulled up in Jericho's car and she wasn't alone, "Oh Vince?" Linda said nervously and Shane and his father sighed in anguish: their cover was blown now Shawn knew The McMahons were in the room and therefore responsible for his abduction, they were liable and that meant Shawn could walk out on his contract no questions asked and worse . . . he could have children with one of the sexiest Divas in WWE history and never have time to wrestle and the wrestling world would lose one of its greatest wrestlers ever!

"NO!" Vince wailed in dread and ripped off the gag around HBK's mouth and took of the blindfold letting HBK's eyes and mouth breathe.

"Vince!" Linda snapped annoyed that he hadn't responded.

"What is it Linda I'm busy," Vince said as Shawn kicked his legs furiously at the WWE mogul as he tried to untie him.

"Hunter and Chyna came with Steph and Lita," Linda said and Jericho laughed; things were really going to get ugly now that all three members of DX and Lita were here.

Shawn attacked Vince as soon as his arms were free and Shane tried to pull him off his father but Hunter jumped on his back and pulled him off, then Stephanie jumped on his so her brother could get free, then Linda pulled Shane away to safety, unfortunately no-one pulled Shawn away to safety and he was left at the mercy of Lita's father who clubbed him with his sledgehammer, busting him wide open.

Hunter went to nurse the wound and got his best friend's blood all over his hands, Shawn fell to his knees and the blood seeped into his eyes, as he tried to focus all he could see was the outline of a red-headed beauty standing in Jericho's doorway and next to her was a blond beauty with a baby in her arms.

"Lita?" Shawn whispered holding his head dragging his body towards her as Hunter wrestled the sledgehammer out of Lita's father's hands, securing it he wielded it above his head and clocked Lita out of the corner of his eye.

"May I?" he asked her awaiting her response before knocking her father's head off in revenge of his best friend.

Lita grabbed Shawn's outstretched hands and pulled him up to her seeing the blood pouring from his head really wanting Melina right now before Hunter did something stupid like get thrown in jail for murder.

"Come on mama where are you?" she said to herself but Melina was an hour away there was no-one to heal Shawn and the gash was gaping and the blood was pouring. She stroked Shawn's face furiously her tears hot with rage as he alighted the air with his blue grey eyes which despite the horrendous attack were smiling at her.

"I guess we're not gonna make it to Tijuana," Lita said as Shawn's eyes fluttered between consciousness, "I knew this was too good to be true, you're too good for this world Shawn and you're too good for me, you belong in Heaven with Rebecca, tell Jeff I said thanks for trying," Lita said and Shawn lost consciousness in her arms.

"Kiss him!" Trish cried and Lita looked at her in shock as did Hunter and Chyna. "I'm serious it's the only thing that can save his life!"

Lita didn't hesitate kissing Shawn was one of her favorite past times, as she closed in on the Heartbreak Kid's parted lips she felt a violent knock against her ribs, it was her father, he had just hit her in the ribs with the sledgehammer he knocked Shawn's lights out with and now she was bleeding internally.

"LITA!" Trish screamed and Lita's father knocked her to one side slamming her into Chyna and Aurora Rose went flying across the room landing safely in the arms of her mother who thanked God she didn't drop her again.

"Get that sledgehammer away from him!" Stephanie roared but as Hunter went to get it, Lita's father nearly knocked his head off and Stephanie pulled her ex-husband back.

"I want my money!" Lita's father roared approaching Stephanie who looked over to where Aurora's rattle had fallen, if she could only get her baby girl to wake up they could end this nightmare but Ro-Ro needed her beauty sleep and there was no waking her up now.

"Ro-Ro, please wake up," Stephanie said gently but it was no use.

"Take off her hat!" Hunter said and Stephanie pulled off the yellow rain hat and just like that Aurora woke up and tore down the house with her crying. It started to rain, soaking Jericho's expensive furniture and the new speakers he just bought.

"Chyna get Lita off the floor!" Hunter said to his girlfriend as he ran to get Shawn and put him on the sofa and Mr. Dumas looked around disorientated by the fact that it was raining on the inside of the apartment.

"Everybody off the floor!" Trish cried jumping on the sofa and Jericho, Hunter, Chyna and The McMahons followed suit, as the water hit Jericho's new speaker the electric current ran through the wires and electrocuted Lita's father burning him inside and out.

"ARGHHH!" Stephanie and Trish screamed, Chyna and Hunter just smiled, as far as they were concerned the miserable bastard got just what he deserved for what he did to his own daughter and the man they all loved so much. The McMahons felt like they were going to throw up as they looked across at Shawn and Lita who lay dead in a puddle of their own blood strewn across each other like a tragic Shakespeare play.

One hour later . . .

Melina the Miraculous arrived with LAX, CM Punk and Samoa Joe who freaked out when they saw the rain, mostly because it wasn't raining when they left San Diego or on the ride downtown, but Chris Jericho's apartment was soaking wet and there was a dead man on the floor and it wasn't the Undertaker.

"Oh my God," Melina said as she saw Shawn and Lita in a huddle bleeding all over Jericho's couch, "What happened?" she asked The Truth who was stroking Lita's face while Hunter cried over Shawn along with Chyna. Stephanie was comforting Aurora who was still crying and hadn't stopped, she may have been small but she wasn't stupid, she knew something terrible had happened to someone very close to her.

"Lita's father tried to kill Shawn and Lita over that $1 million dollars that Edge said Vince would give him if he walked Lita down the isle at their wedding," Trish explained, "Aurora took him out, she didn't appreciate Stephanie taking LC's rain hat off her head at all,"

"She's been wearing it for a week," Stephanie said in her own defense.

"Shut up Stephanie," Hunter snapped tears burning down his face and falling onto Shawn's head, "My best friend is dead and all you can think about is what a lousy father I am,"

"Hunter please not now," Trish said and motioned for Melina to come forward and reached for the dress and shoes she bought for Lita, "I can always count on you to put fashion first," she said smiling warmly at Melina and the Miraculous one frowned in confusion as Trish unwrapped the dress and laid out the shoes, "Nice selection that's exactly what Shawn had in mind," she said approving of Melina's taste in clothes as always, everything except her taste in men which as far as she was concerned needed much improvement, but there'd be time to talk to her about that later, right now there was another dear friend of hers that needed help, "So what are you waiting for Mel, heal them?" Trish said and Melina looked away and everyone frowned.

"Melina what's wrong?" Stephanie said.

"Come on this is your thing bring Shawn and Lita back to life!" Chris Jericho said.

"I can't, they already are," Melina said and everyone thought she was nervous and started to encourage her that she'd do just fine, it wouldn't be like before when she lost all her healing powers to that demon, "No you guys don't understand, they're not dead, they're alive," she said again and Trish scratched her head and looked up to the sky.

"Okay, either my Truth-telling abilities are shot or there's something You're not telling me," she said getting annoyed that God kept leaving important information out more and more these days and Melina tried to explain, judging from the hellacious looks on everyone's faces it wasn't going to be easy.

"Jeff Hardy gave Undertaker a sketch he drew of Shawn and Lita, he took a liking to it and had a tattoo artist ink it over his back this morning as a wedding gift for the Anointed Couple. What Undertaker didn't tell the other Superstars was that it was a Divine Tat, a magic tat like Shawn and Lita have on their arms. While in Heaven, Jeff Hardy asked God if he could create his own magic tat and use it as a way to get Shawn and Lita out of trouble if they were ever in danger and God said yes. He really likes Jeff, He doesn't even want Him to come back to Earth on Saturday,"

Trish, Hunter and Chyna just stared at Melina like she was crazy, "So you're saying Shawn and Lita are stuck in a tattoo on Undertaker's back until Saturday?" Trish asked and Melina nodded.

"Yeah so we better get going, they're gonna be naked when they come back to Earth and you know what that means!" Melina said raising her eyebrow suggestively and Trish ran out to Konnan's low rider knowing exactly what it meant, "Wait Trish I have a question about Randy Orton!" Melina cried picking up the dress and shoes and running out after her along with Hunter, Chyna, Jericho and The McMahons.

LAX came over to the two dead bodies and took out the specially made Smith and Wesson pistols and placed them on either side of Shawn and Lita's dead bodies.

"See I told you guys, just like Romeo and Juliet," Homicide said and his comrades nodded, Konnan removed his bandana and said a prayer.

"You were two of the coolest gringos the wrestling world has ever seen, rest in peace Shawn and Lita," he said and a speaker blew setting Jericho's flashy apartment on fire but LAX, Joe and Punk got out of there just in time. Everybody watched as the flames scorched the Los Angeles sky leaving nothing but the burned out apartment where three bodies were incinerated; one was Hell-bound, the other two were alive and well much to the amusement of Cameron, Cheyenne, LC and Carla who were staring at the talking tattoo on Undertaker's back in Tattoo Me back in Fashion Valley Home Mall. All the wrestlers crowded around The Deadman as the huge tattoo of Shawn and Lita embracing each other started to move.

"Dad?" Cameron said recognizing the eyes and the ponytail, "Get outta there we've got stuff to do!" he cried.

Tattoo Shawn looked over at the topless redhead Jeff Hardy had cheekily drawn and smirked like Randy Orton as Tattoo Lita covered her bountiful breasts up with her long red locks bashfully, Tattoo Shawn looked back at his children, "Give your old man a break, I've had a rough week," Shawn replied and everybody except the children ran out the parlor screaming including the artist who drew it in the first place.

"Now finally we get some time to ourselves," Tattoo Lita said to Tattoo Shawn and LC shook her head in disgust.

"Excuse me Miss Live Sex Celebration, could you keep it PG-13 for Candy Ass Cameron's sake?" she said and Lita and Shawn pouted in frustration.

"Screw this lets go to Heaven," Shawn said wrapping his arm around Lita and the Anointed Couple ascended into the Heavenlies leaving a two dimensional tattoo of two WWE Superstars caressing each other lovingly on Undertaker's back just like normal.

"You can come back in now, they've gone to Heaven!" LC called to the frightened wrestlers cowering outside Tattoo Me, she was thoroughly unimpressed by their cowardice, "Adults are scared of anything that doesn't have a Disney logo on it," she said and Undertaker smiled, Hunter's daughter was a riot he liked her a lot.

"Did Uncle Jeff say how long it would take them to resurrect Uncle Taker?" Cheyenne asked The Deadman.

"He says enjoying their company in Heaven," Undertaker said getting a message from the angelic enigma who was welcoming the newly ascended Anointed Amy and St. Michaels into the Heavenlies where he was chilling with Mother Hardy, Eddy Guerrero, Owen Hart and Rebecca Michaels, "He says they might not come back down to Earth until Saturday,"

"Saturday!" the children cried, "but that's tomorrow!"

"Well then you're gonna have to see your father and Lita tomorrow," The Deadman said and Cameron pouted.

"It's not fair, my parents get to hang out with Jeff Hardy, Eddy Guerrero, Owen Hart and Jesus and I have to stay down here with you people," he said grumpily and LC stamped on his foot and he hopped around the tattoo parlor in agony.

"I think we can find someway to occupy our time until Shawn and Lita come back home," LC said with a mischievous grin and Carla and Cheyenne saw the disproving look Shawn was giving them through the Taker's tattoo and nodded that they'd protect his only son from the crazy cerebral spawn of Hunter Hurst Helmsley while he tied up some loose ends with the King of Kings before coming home to tie up some loose ends with his life as Hunter, Vince, his family and the rest of the wrestling world knew it.


	28. Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece?

Chapter Twenty Eight - Somewhere Over the Rainbow

In Heaven Lita and Shawn walked up to the Right Hand of the Throne hand in hand in absolute awe; the King of Kings was sitting with Rebecca, Eddy, Owen and Jeff Hardy who was eating Skittles. Lita's mouth watered instantly and she knew she was alive, Shawn and Lita bowed in reverance to Jesus Christ and He told them to get up and Jeff offered them one of his Skittles.

"They're fruity, they're delicious and they're mine so don't take so many, hey!" Jeff snatched the bag back after Lita demolished them with a mischievous grin while Shawn stared at Jesus in complete adoration.

"Hello St. Michaels," Jesus said and Shawn burst out into tears clutching the hem of the King of Kings' garment, Jesus patted him on the head and Rebecca rolled her eyes.

"You're such a drama queen Shawn, look you're getting Jesus wet," Rebecca complained and Eddy pushed some Skittles into her mouth and told her to taste the rainbow, but she had and she was sick of them, "I've eaten three bag full of these things I'm gonna get a toothache,"

Shawn ignored her but it was nice to hear her voice again, she was as fiery in Heaven as she was on Earth confirming was he always believed that she was an angel.

"Alright Shawn let me have some of His garment now," Lita said pulling HBK up and Jesus smiled at her and Lita's heart was filled with a love like she'd never felt before and fell to Jesus' feet and began to weep alongside her true love. Jesus sighed and looked over at Jeff who nodded sympathetically.

"It's not like you're just some guy Lord, you're Jesus Christ you deserve all the glory and all the praise," Jeff said crunching into a red Skittle.

"Yes but I'm not gonna get to say what I have to say if they don't get off me!" Jesus said and Shawn and Lita looked at each other sniffing loudly.

"Get it together Lita," Shawn said to the Anointed one who balked.

"You're the one whose clinging to the hem of His garment!" she retaliated and Jesus got off His throne and commanded them both to rise which they did willingly and without hesitation.

"How may we serve you oh King of Kings, Lord of Lords?" Lita said and Shawn snickered, "What?" Lita asked him with a frown.

"Nothing its just that I've never heard you suck up before its disturbing," Shawn said and Lita slapped him on the arm and Jesus laughed filling the Heavenlies with a sound so sweet it made everyone feel like dancing, Rebecca was glad to see HBK hadn't lost his sense of rhythm after she died, she danced with Eddy and Owen all the time but she couldn't keep up with Jeff, he was dangerous and liked to spin and do backflips and stuff, she was more of a slow dancer.

"I hope you can keep up with Shawn Lita, he's one of the best dancers in the world," Rebecca said to Lita as she danced with Eddy Guerrero who wasn't a bad dancer himself. Lita nodded she knew what a great dancer HBK was and how an awful dancer like her was gonna keep up with him. Jesus watched her worry and smiled gently.

"Why you worry so my Anointed one?" Jesus asked her and Lita looked down at her feet which were bare.

"I don't think I can dance very well and Shawn's an awesome dancer if I dance with him I'm gonna make a fool of myself," Lita said thinking about the wedding reception tomorrow and all the eyes that were gonna be on her as she danced with one of the most desired men in the WWE.

Jesus nodded, "I understand that you are on strict orders not to touch each other so I'll be Shawn and you dance with me," he said and everyone stopped dancing and stared at the King of Kings in shock especially Lita who felt her heart began to race with excitement.

"You dance Jesus?" she asked Him in disbelief, which really wasn't allowed in Heaven because you only got in by faith and right now, Lita had zero faith in her dance moves of which she had none.

"I was human once, I know how it feels to lose confidence in yourself, but I also know how to overcome fear since I overcame death, take my hand Amy and follow my lead you'll be fine," Jesus assured her and Shawn leaned his head on Jeff and both watched in amazement as Lita danced with the King of Kings nervously trying to impress Him but He assured her there was no need to worry, "That's it," He said encouraging her to dance as she felt, to dance like she was in love, to dance like she was happy and to dance like she never wanted this moment to end and she didn't want this moment to end, so eventually she found the rhythm and kept in step with Jesus Christ who never missed a beat. When the dance was over Lita got a resounding applause from Eddy and Owen and Jeff while Shawn walked over to his wife and kissed her on the hand.

"I miss you," he said and Rebecca smirked shaking her head with a gentle laugh.

"No you don't, that's how I know you're not dead because there's no lying in Heaven," Rebecca said and Shawn rubbed the back of his head bashfully.

"You know me too well," he replied and looked back at Lita who was celebrating her renewed sense of self worth after dancing with the King of Kings, "I'm in love with her Rebecca," he said and turned back to his wife to see how she felt about that, "You knew all along didn't you?" he asked her and Rebecca nodded, "Was it the reason you invited her over to the house before the pre-Christmas party in the Caribbean last year?" he asked and Rebecca nodded, "Well I didn't think we'd ever end up together and now we're getting married, the Lord really does work in mysterious ways doesn't He?"

"His ways are not our ways, that's why I'm up here and you're going back to start your life over with that gorgeous red-head," Rebecca said and Shawn wanted to know more, "You see Shawnie we only get to live once, my job as your wife was to bring you back from death and I did, I gave you two children and gave you your self-esteem back, you see the way Lita danced with our Savior? You see the confidence she has now? That's what God wanted me to do for you, so He could use you for His work on Earth to further His Kingdom," she said and Shawn nodded he knew there was a calling on his life he just didn't think it had anything to do with the Queen of Extreme.

"Why Lita though Becky? I mean she was getting married to Edge I'm not exactly her type you know I was never really all that into the bedroom stuff," Shawn confessed and Rebecca laughed thinking about all the time he spent bragging to the Kliq about what a stud he was and he really wasn't; she did all the work and he just lay there and let her have her way with him and that was okay while he was rehabbing but after his comeback it was a problem for the sultry Nitro girl from Tampa who wanted to sleep with the Heartbreak Kid made famous for his sexy attitude, not the recovering drug addict with a predeliction for holding hands and falling asleep with his nose in the Book of Jeremiah.

"That's why you and Lita are together on Earth not just in Heaven, God saw the desires of your heart, he knew that you desired someone who was just as fiery and just as misunderstood as you and I prepared you for her," Rebecca said smiling and it was then that Shawn knew she was alright with him and Lita getting married, Rebecca was going to give them her blessing and that's all he needed to put his fears to rest, "All I've ever wanted is for you to be happy Shawn and now finally, you can be," she said, "I'm gonna be fine so don't worry about me turning up at your Honeymoon suite and making the bed move and suck you through the TV like a poltergeist or something, it's all good Shawn go get married kid and have more beautiful children,"

Shawn couldn't believe it, Rebecca was totally cool in Heaven as she was on Earth, he reached out to touch her but he couldn't.

"No Shawn you can't touch me I'm dead," she said as Shawn's hands felt nothing, "the dead can't touch the living and there's a red-head dying for you to touch her and in less than a day, you can touch her in places you never ever thought you could Sexy Boy, ow!" Rebecca said and Shawn looked at her puzzled and she apologized, "I'm sorry I was just thinking about the first time I had sex with you, you had a few good moves but that didn't make up for those extra couple of inches I needed, know what I mean shorty?"

"Okay good talking to you, enjoy life after death Becky, I'm going to enjoy life with Lita, who makes up for what I lacked," Shawn said and walked over to his future wife and away from his last one who was more than happy to see him go, Eddy scratched his chin curiously.

"What's with you?" Rebecca asked Latino Heat.

"Vicky never stopped loving me and I was just thinking how grateful I was for that," Eddy said.

Rebecca sat next to him on the Right Hand of the Throne and smiled, "That's the difference between us Guerrero, Vicky loved you in the good, the bad and the ugly, Shawn never loved me with all his heart, he just told himself that he did because he was loyal and faithful to me and the children, I was an obligation, she's his inspiration," Rebecca nodded to Lita who was saying goodbye Jeff and Shawn wrapped her up in his loving arms like she was somethng he couldn't afford to lose, "See that Eddy?" Rebecca said and Eddy nodded, "That's the piece of him that was missing and the Lord needed me to see that and I do now, finally I can let go of all the jealousy and anger and just say love is for the living not the dead,"

"Amen," Eddy said knowing how much his familia loved him because he heard every single one of their prayers everyday and everynight and he was alive because of them in Earth as he was in Heaven and he praised God for that.

"Trish said you were supposed to give me something Jeff, what is it?" Lita asked the angelic enigma who shook his head his hand slamming against the bag of Skittles to demolish the few that were left.

"You have to wait until tomorrow when I come back to life," Jeff said and Lita pouted.

"Just give it to me now!" she said and Jeff shook his head furiously.

"You have no patience, that's why you're still alive because only angels have patience," Jeff said and Jesus smiled.

"But you're not dead Jeffrey, angels don't have cavaties," Jesus said and everyone laughed, "Hand those Skittles to the Anointed Couple, when you two get back to Earth, give the Skittles to Matt as a sign that his brother is just fine, hand them over Jeffrey,"

Jeff Hardy looked at the half empty packet in his hand and frowned, "Here you go," he said with a pout and Shawn and Lita waved goodbye to everyone, as they descended back to Earth, Jesus rained Skittles down in the Heavenlies which Jeff joyously collected and separated them into each individual color before devouring them all.

"You the man JC," Jeff Hardy said his clapping his candy-stained lips together merrily.

"No I'm the Son of Man, HBK's the man," Jesus said.

JESUS ARE THOSE SKITTLES ON THE THRONE ROOM FLOOR? God roared and Jesus jumped off His Throne and started to bury the evidence and Rebecca, Eddy and Owen gave him a questioning glance.

"He may be omnipotent but He ain't that fast, now help me hide these before He makes me appear in a toilet bowl again," Jesus said and together Jesus and Jeff Hardy tried to hide the brightly colored candies much to the Almighty's amusement not really expecting more from His only Begotten Son, He was only 33 when he died and Jeff Hardy was the Hardy Boy inside him. So for one more day God would let the inner Hardy Boy come out and then after Jeff Hardy returned to the Earth it was business as usual in Heaven and that meant Jesus would return to saving souls from damnation and bringing them to the Kingdom forevermore all by Himself, the days of ATM sharing the load were almost at an end.


	29. Leaving on the Midnight Train to Georgia

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece?

Chapter Twenty Nine - Leaving on the Midnight Train to Georgia

Tattoo Me, Fashion Valley Home Mall, San Diego, CA:

Just as the sun was going down Shawn and Lita were coming back to Earth in the most unusual way much to the amazement of the wrestlers and friends of the Anointed Couple who were deeply disturbed by the story LAX had told them about Shawn and Lita burning to death at Chris Jericho's house. After Trish shut the Latino trio up she explained that although Shawn and Lita's bodies were destroyed their spirits were in Heaven and they were scheduled to return in fully restored Heavenly bodies momentarily.

So everyone was gathered around The Undertaker whose back was exposed and his tattoo of Shawn and Lita embracing was in full view, as it began to move some of the wrestlers started heading for the door again but as Shawn and Lita's eyes began to look at everyone no-one was able to go anywhere.

"It's them they're alive!" Stephanie McMahon cried out relieved as Lita's unforgettable smile lit up Undertaker's strong back and HBK winked at Triple H who shook his head in disbelief.

"Will you quit fooling around and get outta there Shawn? I've been going crazy worrying about you!" Hunter said and Trish frowned at him.

"Why, you knew he was in good hands?" she asked the Cerebral Assassin who ignored her and brushed past all the other wrestlers and started threatening HBK.

"I mean it Shawnie come on, the fellas and I have planned you a batchelor party and you're going!" he said and HBK looked at Lita concerned suddenly not wanting to leave Heaven anymore.

"I'm gonna count to three Shawn and then we're outta here, I'm not staying in The Deadman one minute more than I have to," Lita told the Showstoppa who pouted allowing her to take his hand and together they exited the Divine Tat becoming flesh and blood again and that flesh was on total display since they were both completely naked.

"Urm Earth to Shawn and Lita, will you please put something on we're in public!" Stephanie McMahon admonished the Anointed Couple who were haloed by the Light of Heaven, Lita's long red curls covering her breasts and her hands covering her privates, while Shawn turned his back showing only his ass which no-one seemed to mind except Stephanie, she'd seen enough of it and Hunter's over the years, "Hunter give Shawn you're sweater and Joanie give Lita your skirt," Stephanie told the two Degenerates who didn't hesitate, especially since Hunter loved seeing Joanie in her underwear and Joanie loved it when Hunter took his shirt off to reveal his Action Man like physique to the world while she stood only in her knee high boots, stockings and black satin underwear.

Edge watched as Lita put the micro leather skirt on thinking she was a fool to put anything on at all, she was like a Bottecelli painting to him, then he watched HBK slip Hunter's polo sweater over his sun-kissed shoulders, it was so big that it reached his thighs making him decent in the eyes of his peers, family and friends.

"Eddie says hi," he told everyone and they gasped.

"You talked to Eddie?" Rey Mysterio asked jubliantly coming out from behind Hunter with Dominic and Aaliyah and HBK nodded looking around for something to tie his hair back with.

"I saw Owen too Bret, he says cheer up you'll live longer," Shawn said to Bret Hart who smiled fondly thinking about his dearly departed little brother.

"Want to borrow one of my hairbands to tie your hair back?" Bret said offering Shawn one of his tie bands which HBK accepted, until Hunter sharply cut him off and offered one of his own hair bands to the Heartbreak Kid with a superior smirk.

"Excuse me Bret I believe I am Shawn's best man and that means I get to tie his hair back," The Cerebral Assassin said rudely, "Here you go Shawn," he said handing Shawn one of his hair bands and Shawn was about to take it when Edge stepped in.

"You know Shawn you shouldn't tie your hair back until you brush it and as the ex-fiance of the woman you're less than a day away from marrying I think I should be the one to brush it as a token of our everlasting friendship," Edge said and Lita frowned.

"Edge what are you doing hitting on my future husband just hours before we get married?" she asked confused.

"Yeah you're so gay its not even like you're pretending anymore," Matt Hardy said and Edge sighed looking over at Christian begging him to step in and explain to these American idiots the significance of him combing Shawn's hair before he got married. The Instant Classic cleared his throat and began to explain.

"Edge combed my hair before I got married and my wife and I have been happily married for years, its good luck Shawn you should let him do it," he said confident in his best friend's grooming abilities and Edge looked over at Shawn expectantly.

"Well can I?" Edge asked enthusiastically and Shawn frowned uncomfortably.

"I don't have a brush on me," he said and Hunter chuckled at Shawn's flimsy excuse before reaching into his back pocket and pulling out a hairbrush.

"Would you mind if I combed your hair Shawn, I mean I am your best man and I am entitled to certain privileges aren't I?" Hunter asked and Chyna laughed along with Stephanie, Jericho and everyone else.

"What privileges I'm not getting married to you, the only person who's gonna be touching my hair or any part of me from this moment on is on my right hand side," Shawn replied motioning to Lita, snatching Hunter's hairbrush and handing it to his future wife adoringly, giving her the most beautiful smile she ever saw and she couldn't help but give him one straight back, "Would you mind combing my hair out Lita? It gets real tangled if I don't comb it out on the regular," Shawn said endearingly and Lita flicked her long red hair over her left shoulder accidently exposing her right breast and Shawn dropped the hairbrush, his jaw and got extremely embarassed, "Oh my God Lita!" he gasped and Lita wondered what had gotten him so upset when she looked at everyone staring at her as if she was naked, and then she saw it, her left boob was exposed and in public yet again!

"Shit!" she cursed covering it up with her hair and everyone applauded as her face flushed bright red with embarassment, "Why are you guys applauding me this isn't funny I'm a woman of God I'm not Edge's horny sex kitten anymore!" Lita snapped angrily getting hot and Shawn put a hand on her shoulder pressed his lips to her head and she cooled off instantly.

"We're applauding your dignity," Krystal said and Shelton nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, the old Lita wouldn't have felt embarassed about having the entire wrestling world see her left boob or both, this is proof that you really have changed, you should be proud of yourself Lita, Shawn is a very lucky man to have a woman like you," he said sincerely and the rest of the WWE Superstars applauded in agreement and Lita was ecstatic and turned to HBK.

"You're not disappointed that you saw my left boob before the wedding are you?" Lita asked him anxiously but HBK wasn't thinking straight he was thinking boob and Hunter noticed at once since he was fluent in all things Breast.

"Look Lita just give Shawn a break and whip out the other boob too," he said and Lita rolled her eyes at the Cerebral Assman who only ever had sex on the brain.

"That would be wrong, he's seen way too much already," Lita said observing the reticient glances Shawn was sending her way and Lita considered Hunter's recommendation, after all they were just boobs, then she remembered that they technically were still on a date everyone kept interrupting and what better way to give Shawn a glimpse of her goodies than in privacy where no-one else could see them? That wasn't something the old Lita would do, so fired up by this idea Lita took HBK hands in her own, squeezed them lovingly to her mouth then pressed them to her cherry red lips and kissed them sweetly, "Honey," she said warmly and Shawn felt his legs trembling beneath him wishing he was wearing pants now.

"Lita just remember I'm not wearing any pants right now," he said implicitly and Lita let go of his hands and waved him over to the exit of the tattoo parlor, she turned and gave Edge a hug and thanked Undertaker for letting Jeff's Divine Tat come to life on his back giving her and Shawn safe passage back to San Diego, then she clocked Matt and remembered the almost empty bag of Skittles Jesus had asked her to give him to show that Jeff was alive and well, she took the creased up red packet and placed it in Matt Hardy's unsuspecting hand and he queried her action, Lita just smiled,

"Jeff says save one for him," she said and Matt teared up nodding grateful that his little brother was okay counting down the hours to his return to Earth. Lita then faced everyone smiling like a Cheshire cat taking her red dress and shoes from Melina who chuckled along with Trish knowing exactly what Lita had in mind for the end of her only date with the Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels before she shared his last name and his life.

"I'll see you guys in Tijuana, Shawn and I are leaving on the midnight train to Georgia and we don't want to hear from anyone of you until the morning of the wedding and that's an order from Above," she said firmly and everyone understood, everyone except HBK who was wondering what was in the shopping bag as Lita dragged his half naked body towards the train station.

"Lita why don't we fly, the train to Georgia's gonna take hours?" Shawn asked puzzled by her impetuous behavior getting a kick out of the alarmed faces looking at them as their bare legs beat down the board walks like they were running from the police, "Lita slow down I'm having a hard time keeping my privates concealed!" Shawn said stretching Hunter's huge white sweater down as far as he could.

"Two tickets to Atlanta, Georgia, hurry!" Lita told the ticket lady who took one look at HBK and looked back at Lita enviously, "That's right, he's my man and we're getting married tomorrow in Tijuana!" Lita bragged and the woman almost threw the two tickets at Lita.

"Congratulations," she said jealously as Shawn strutted behind his buxom bride to be like they were already married noticing how little of Lita's legs were actually covered by Chyna's leather skirt and Shawn started to wonder what exactly was going to go down on this train ride to Georgia which according to the schedule wasn't leaving until midnight and it was only half seven.

Shawn sat down next to the fiery red-head who took his hair in her hands and started to comb it out gently.

"You know we've got five hours before the train leaves for Georgia, why on Earth were you in such a rush to get to the train station?" Shawn asked Lita ask she combed through his hair relaxing his brain and chilling him out completely.

Lita smiled as he leaned back onto her chest with a deep sigh, he was getting more and more relaxed, she wrapped her bare legs around him pulling herself closer to his body and he caressed her ankles letting his fingers wander up to her knee caps and they went wandering back up and down over and over again. Shawn could hear Lita's breathing getting heavy and he opened one eye and smiled up at her with a cheeky grin.

"Whatever you do don't flip your hair," he said humorously and Lita laughed.

"This is the last few moments we have before things get serious," she said and Shawn tried not to think about it, he knew what she meant but the thought of it was too exciting, in less than a day, he was going to have sex with Lita and not just any old sex nah-uh, the kind of sex you only read about in crappy Jackie Collins' novels only without the crappy part. It was going to be awesome and it was only by the grace of God that they could have waited this long, as Lita drew the hairbrush through his softening locks Shawn swallowed down his urge to reach around, grab her roll onto his stomach and make love to her right there in front of all the strangers wondering why were those people half-naked? But there was no need to rush, contrary to Shawn's assessment, Lita was totally in control of the situation. He saw something red sticking out of the shopping bag she had taken from Melina and put two and two together with a smile of anticipation on his face which Lita noticed and smiled right along with him, "Things are gonna get hot before we even get on the train if you don't keep still," she whispered into his exposed ear, she lowered her lips below the lobe and kissed the soft area underneath dropping the hairbrush onto the floor kissing Shawn's neck softly before biting into it like he did her back at the Camino Real in Tijuana. Lita pulled away gently and saw Shawn's eyes going back into his head his forehead was wet with perspiration and his heart was beating fast and this was only introduction, they hadn't even got onto the train yet and she smiled at Shawn's already dishevelled state knowing things were going to get even better for him, but she didn't want to exhaust him too soon and resumed combing his hair quietly as Shawn tried to catch is breath while pulling down his sweater so his bare behind didn't stick to the wooden bench so much.

"You know what would be really nice right now?" he asked Lita in his gravely Southern drawl and she lost concentration and dropped the hairbrush again but Shawn caught it and turned to her looking straight into her autumn brown eyes which were warmer than furr gloves in the winter right now.

"What would be really nice right now Shawn?" Lita asked nervously as HBK pressed her hands to his face warming them even more with his hot and raspy voice.

"For you to put on whatever's in that bag and come back out here to me," he said and Lita gulped thinking that would not be a good idea since the dress was red, short and irresistable, they'd never make it past the guard rail if she put it on Shawn would lose control right there in the station!

"That's probably not a good idea, I don't want to tempt you to do something you're going to regret," Lita said as soberly as she could but it was very difficult since she was drunk on HBK who shook his head assured that nothing was going to happen unless he wanted it to which really didn't reassure Lita at all and that's when it happened; Shawn widened his eyes, dropped his head to the right and squeezed her hands in his.

"Please?" he said, he begged her to put the ruby studded embroidered Piqué swing dress on, Shawn Michaels was begging and she was utterly speechless, then finally said what she had never said to either of her two ex-fiance's.

"No," she said simply and Shawn shrugged, turned back around leaning against her comfortably.

"Okay," he replied and she sighed in relief as he handed her back the hairbrush so she could resume combing his honey blond locks with love and affection, there was no way she was going to spoil what was to be the most miraculous thing that had ever happened to her by giving into his fantasy of her, Lita had learned her lesson well and that was a mistake she was never going to make ever again, especially with a man who was more than willing to wait content with just her pleasant company and her soft hands in his hair.


	30. Peace Sells, But Who's Buying?

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece?

A/N: This chapter makes light references to drug use.

Chapter Thirty - Peace Sells, But Who's Buying?

Back in Fashion Valley Home Mall around 8pm . . . .

"Hunter you're such a pain in the ass!" Trish Stratus cried out much to everyone's amusement, it was like she never left RAW.

"Welcome back Trish," Vince McMahon said as the wrestlers, their friends and family all followed Triple H back to the arena in San Diego where they had a house show earlier in the week. Hunter had an idea that wasn't sitting well with ATM at all, he wanted to catch the midnight train to Georgia and throw HBK a batchelor party onboard.

"I said no, Lita and Shawn need these last few hours to themselves," Trish said trying to push Hunter back, "Remember when you were engaged?"

Hunter gave Stephanie a dirty look, "Trish please don't depress me by bringing up my past as Mr. Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley," he said and Stephanie stuck her tongue out at him, "This is a guy thing okay?"

"You're sticking your big nose in where it doesn't belong!" Trish argued adamantly trying to wrestle Hunter's arm off the huge production truck he was going to have everyone climb into after which he would drive it along the railroad track into Georgia and stop the train.

"We could have a great time in this thing it's huge!" Mr. Kennedy said getting inside with the other wrestlers who were climbing into at the Kliq member's demand.

"Trish get in!" Hunter demanded and The Truth looked over at her sister in Christ but Melina just shrugged.

"Are you really gonna miss out on Hunter getting bitch slapped by HBK?" she said and Trish realized she'd been looking at this situation ass-backwards and got in after The Rock who pulled her in with Jericho and Stephanie. Vince stretched out his hand expecting Stephanie to pull him in when his daughter stared a black hole into his face.

"I'm sorry Daddy but I don't want to upset Shawn and Lita anymore today," she said apologetically and her father blew up angrily.

"You pull me up young lady, I said I'm going to that wedding I don't care what Shawn and Lita have got to say about it!" the Chairman of the Board insisted and Shane tried to get in with him but Hunter stepped on his fingers and shook his head with a cocky smile.

"Sorry ain't gonna happen, no McMahons allowed; the only reason Stephanie's coming is because Aurora will start a new ice age if Stephanie's not here," Hunter explained, Aurora had fallen asleep in her mother's arms and would not take too kindly to being woken up again today and it was a risk Hunter was not going to take. He stepped on Vince and Shane's fingers and they screamed in pain, seeing the door was still open they seized their last opportunity to try and crash Shawn and Lita's wedding and tried to jump back in the truck, they didn't see Edge standing by the door about to lower the shutter and it came down on both their hands hard.

"ARGHHH!" they both screamed and Linda sighed in frustration as the huge WWE Production truck rolled out for Atlanta, Georgia leaving the McMahons behind. Suddenly a huge horn blew startling Linda McMahon to death, she turned around and saw Dixie Carter, President of TNA Wrestling, sitting behind a huge 18 wheeler with the TNA roster loaded up inside. She stuck her pretty head out the driver seat window and shot the demoralized McMahons a smile.

"Need a ride?" she asked and Shane, Linda and Vince scowled at her.

"Yes," they all said demurely and got in next to her, they were a proud family but not proud enough to know when they were beaten and if hitching with the enemy was the only way to convince Shawn and Lita to let them come to their wedding, so be it.

James Mitchell poked his head around from the back seat and tapped Vince McMahon on the shoulder with his cane, "I just wanted to give you forewarning, Abyss has night terrors and screams in his sleep,"

Vince rolled his eyes," Oh great," he sighed in frustration while Shane noticed a colorful lowrider bouncing up and down heading towards Mexico, it was LAX, Rey and Vicky Gurerrero.

"Hey where you guys going?" Shane asked them.

"We're going to Tijuana to set up the church for Shawn and Lita's wedding," Vicky Guerrero said pulling her hair away from her face as Konnan pumped the hydrolics making her bounce the way Eddy used to.

"Can we roll with you guys?" Linda McMahon said and Rey and Vicky frowned at each other knowing that The McMahons were not invited.

"It's probably not a good idea seeing how Shawn and Lita didn't invite you in the first place, sorry Vince, but you guys brought this on yourself," Rey Mysterio said and with that the pioneers of American Lucha Libre were gone.

"Dammit!" Vince said as Dixie and the TNA boys laughed at how much The McMahons had screwed themselves, "I say we stop that train!" he said to his wife and son who nodded in agreement, they didn't want to go back to Atlanta and then have to come back down south the whole time riding with TNA, they'd rather file for bankruptcy.

"How do we stop the train?" Linda asked eagerly while Sting, Kurt Angle and AJ Styles rolled their eyes.

"We call in a terrorist alert and have the train evacuated," Vince McMahon said and the TNA roster let out a huge sigh, "SHUT UP!" Vince yelled at them and Kurt Angle and Rhino opened the truck door and threw them out on their butts, they didn't want to have nothing to do with a fake terrorism alert, their country had been through enough as it was.

"Hello Amtrak?" Vince said down his cell phone, "There's a bomb on the midnight train to Georgia, you need to cancel the train and evacuate the station now!" he yelled and hung up, throwing the phone in the ocean so the FBI couldn't trace it back to him.

"Now Shawn and Lita will have to stay in San Diego, they'll have no choice but to hear us out now!" Shane said and smiled at his father fondly, "You are such a genius Dad, I love you,"

"I love you too son," Vince said and they hugged while Linda rolled a joint much to her husband and son's horror but Linda didn't sweat it, Shawn was marrying Lita, Stephanie was divorced from Hunter, Melina and Nitro were having a baby and Trish was coming back full-time and all this had happened in the space of two weeks.

"If ever there was a time to get high its now," she told them and took a puff of that stanky-stanky stuff as the San Diego train station emptied and the Anointed Couple burnt up faster than her stash.

"Trish what the fudge is going on?" Lita cried out to The Truth covering her breasts with her hands while HBK tried not to look under the leather skirt Chyna had given her to wear. The Anointed Couple got away from the masses that had evacuated the station and they saw the huge WWE Production truck and ran towards it, the TNA loaded 18 wheeler pulled up not much later and they both wanted answers.

"Vince McMahon called in a fake terrorist alert," Trish explained and Shawn shook his head disgusted running his fingers through his hair causing the white sweater he was wearing to raise and inch too high and Lita quickly pulled his arms down and Hunter rolled his eyes.

"Like you haven't already seen it," he said cynically and Shawn and Lita shook their heads assuring him that they hadn't touched each other at all.

"That's a lie," The Truth said and Shawn and Lita gave her a warning look and she just stared them both down, "You begged Lita to put on the ruby red dress Melina bought her," she said and Shawn went red as everyone laughed at the idea of him begging.

"So?" he retaliated noting the disgusted look on Hunter's face.

"So you wanted to have sex with her on the midnight train to Georgia," Trish said with a naughty grin thinking the whole thing was really sexy as did most of the WWE Divas, TNA Knockouts and the other women within earshot.

"You begged Lita to put on more clothes?" Hunter asked in disbelief and before Shawn could even respond Hunter turned to the other members of the Kliq, "Emergency Kliq meeting in the truck now!" he announced and Kevin, Scotty and Sean furrowed their brows wondering what the problem was, Chyna filled them in.

"He thinks Shawn's a homo for waiting until they get married before hitting it strong as Rocky would say and and he wants to tell you why in detail," she said and Lita shook her head pulling HBK back as the Showstoppa went for Hunter for making such a stupid comment.

"He don't know any better Shawn," Lita assured her true love, "What we have is rare, he doesn't understand how a man can go more than two minutes without wanting to rip my clothes off with his bare hands,"

"Yeah what's up with that?" Mr. Kennedy asked confused stealing Shane Helm's famous one-liner.

"We're waiting until tomorrow, or the night after the wedding we haven't had sex yet and its none of ya'll business when we decide to do it okay?" Shawn spat taking great exception to this invasion of their privacy.

"He's a homo," Cena said eyeing Lita's scantily clad body from the tips of her toes to the top of her head unaware of the slap that was about to come down on his bare face, "OW!" he roared as Lita gave him an Anointed slap of Righteous Indignation.

"There will be no gay-bashing of any kind in my presence you got that?" she warned Cena her sun-kissed skin heating up and Shawn wrapped his arms around her nesting his face in her thick red mane and gave Cena a nonchalant grin.

"You don't know a thing about true romance, that's why you think its gay to be with a woman even after you got her pregnant and aborted her first child," Shawn said simply and Cena blanched offended and Shawn got into his face anyway, "I don't think you and Hunter are any different when it comes to women, the only difference between you is if Hunter gets out of line, Joanie will slap him into the next century and if she doesn't, you bet your WWE Championship LC will,"

Lisa blanched, "I would never hit my own father, you take that back!" she warned Shawn, its not his fault you can't get it up!"

"Oooh!" all the WWE Superstars went at the same-time and Lita had to bite her hair to stop from laughing but Shawn didn't think it was so funny, he felt a sudden urge to defend his sexuality and he took Lita by the hand and helped her into the huge WWE Production truck and got in the driver's seat and started up the engine. By the time Hunter figured out what was going on they were on their way to Atlanta, GA and there was nothing anybody could do about it.

"Excuse me has anyone seen a Mr. Vincent Kennedy McMahon?" asked an FBI agent holding a cell phone and the WWE Superstars pointed to the mogul who was now cowering behind his wife and son.

"What did he do this time?" Kevin Nash asked shaking his head as the FBI apprehended the Chairman of WWE and took him in for questioning.

"He called in a fake terrorist alert causing Amtrak to evacuate and cancel all journeys out of San Diego," the agent replied and the Superstars laughed hysterically.

"What's that smell?" one of the agents asked another and Linda held in her breath, "Ma'am, have you been smoking marijuana?" the agent asked the CEO of WWE, Linda couldn't hold her breath anymore and let out a puff of the stanky-stanky stuff much to the shock of her daughter and ex-son-in-law, everyone else was rolling around in stitches as Vince asked Shane to call his lawyer and the product of his semen watched in horror as the men in black took his parents away like common criminals on charges of disturbing the peace and possession of illegal substances much to both the WWE and TNA roster's delight and they sung the wrestling power couple out in classic wrestling style.

"Nana-nah-nah, nana-nah-nah, hey - goodbye! Nana-nah-nah, nana-nah-nah, hey - goodbye!" they all sang and reassembled after the FBI disappreared amidst a flurry of local TV cameras heading for the police station, got into Dixie Carter's 18 wheeler and followed after another powerful wrestling couple that would become one under God in less than 24 hours and time was running out to get them drunk first. The fact that neither Shawn or Lita drank escaped Hunter's memory, it was irrelevant since he, his peers and their friends and family would bre doing most of the drinking in honor of the wrestling world's First Couple.


	31. There's No Place Like Home Part 1

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece?

Chapter Thirty One - There's No Place Like Home Part.1

Faith and Prayer Pentecostal Church, Atlanta, GA, 11pm

Marianne and Marjorie left the vibrant building after another soul-winning service at their local church and ran through the parking lot to the main road where David assured them Lita and Shawn were about to pull up in a WWE Production truck. They had to see it with their own eyes, the sisters had suspected that Shawn and Lita had eyes for each other at New Years but they never actually thought they would get together.

"David better not be blowing smoke up our skirts again," Marianne said to her sister who nodded flipping her cell phone shut and together they waited impatiently for the truck to go by like David said it would.

"Hey there they are!" Marjorie shouted out as the WWE Production truck with Shawn and Lita aboard blew past them, "Congratulations!" Marjorie called out and the truck stopped. The Anointed Couple got out and came over to the sisters who hadn't seen them since New Years but had heard all about the wedding from David and were hoping Lita would come home to Georgia and tell them if the rumor was true, it didn't take long for the girls to realize what was true and what wasn't as Shawn Michaels wrapped his arms around Lita squeezing her lovingly to his chest.

"Do you know your pants are missing?" Marjorie pointed out to the Showstoppa.

"Yes I do," Shawn replied and Lita chuckled.

"It's a long story," she explained.

"What you guys doing here, according to ya'll are getting married in the morning?" Marjorie asked them, Shawn was not happy that his personal life was still in the media at all.

"Does say where the wedding's taking place?" Shawn asked the sweet country girls and they both shook their head that it didn't and Shawn sighed in relief, "Good; we already got the entire West Coast coming, I don't think we could handle the South as-well,"

"Plus the entire Latino nation thanks to Kaylee Marie and Sherilyn Guerrero," Lita said spiritedly; she was glad everyone knew they were getting married, in fact she was glad picked up on the story, Saturday was going to be awesome and Shawn could see she was getting restless.

"We wanna be straight and upfront okay?" Marjorie said to Lita who pretended to be stuck up knowing what her young neighbor was going to ask her, "Mari and I wanna come to the wedding if that's okay with ya'll," she said simply and Lita pretended to think about it.

"I'll have to think about it," she said in a snotty way and HBK rolled his eyes and gave the two sisters a mouth-watering smile and told them they were both invited.

"Wear something pretty, like the smile ya'll are both wearing now," he said and Marianne and Marjorie jumped up and down hysterically and Lita nearly joined in when she remembered she was barely clothed and consciously hid behind her hands.

"Lita where's your top?" Marjorie asked the Xtreme Lucha diva.

"Did you and Shawn engaged in a little pre-marital sex in that big ass production truck?" Marianne asked and HBK blushed.

"We're fully engaged in the process of holding hands," he responded and Marianne and Marjorie cocked their heads to the side and sighed in admiration of their solid Christian beliefs.

"You're waiting until after you're married, that is so cool you guys what you're doing is rare," Marianne said fondly and her sister nodded.

"Lita you should be so proud of yourself, I mean here you are only a few hours away from marrying the man you fantasized about when you were our age and you haven't done the nasty yet, good for you babe!" Marjorie said giving Lita a thumbs up and Lita thanked her thinking the sex was going to be anything but nasty.

"Think of me and Shawn as a 60 minute Iron man match," she told her ever adoring fans, "Its gonna start of slow and it will slowly pick up the pace, then suddenly the pace will quicken and before you can say "You screwed Bret!" the sex will be over and we'll fall asleep in each others arms and wake up in a tangled heap on the floor sweaty, beat and completely satisfied, ain't that right Heartbreak Kid?" Lita asked her true love and Shawn raised his hand to his face thoughtfully and leaned to the side.

"I think it will be more like a Last Man Standing match," he replied and Lita looked at him curious as to what he meant and HBK explained as Marianne and Marjorie gasped that they were getting this exclusive up close and personal, "Now my Southern upbringing forbids me from being too graphic so ya'll girls are going to have to bare with me," Shawn took Lita by the hand and looked deeply into her eyes and said, "I can't tell you how hard it has been to not kiss you, now imagine when I do Lita, imagine what that's gonna be like; my lips on yours, anywhere and everywhere, for as long as I can stand I will kiss you and then you'll kiss me back, then I'll touch you, do you know what's gonna happen then? I'm gonna tell you what's gonna happen then; everything you ever dreamed of,"

"OW!" Marianne and Marjorie howled as Lita's jaw hit the floor and Shawn gently picked it back up and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek, the movement of his hands against her face sent a shiver down her spine, everything was right about this moment, at last Lita was in love with a man who was in love with the idea of making love to her anywhere and everywhere, in Shawn's own words.

A horn honked disturbing the romance between the controversial duo and Dixie Carter pulled up in the 18 wheeler causing Shawn to let out a huge sigh.

"I can't believe they caught up with us!" he frowned rubbing his face anxiously and turned to Lita with a yearning glance, "I really wanted to spend our last night as friends alone, after tonight you're gonna be an official Kliq chick and that means road trips, interventions and general mayhem, tonight could be the only quiet time we ever share!"

Lita smiled enthusiastically, "Sounds great!" she said with a mischevious glint in her eye then she realized HBK was serious, he really wanted to be alone, "Turn that frown upside down," she told him squeezing his cheeks together adoringly, "We've still got one hour before midnight, let's make the most of it and have us a old fashioned hootenanny,"

"Hootenanny?" Shawn said alarmed by the suggestion, "You mean with booze, broads and bad chicken?"

"Well we are talking about the Kliq here," Lita said, "It's not like we can have a late night Bible Study, let's give Hunter what he wants and then, it will be just me and you,"

Shawn wasn't impressed, "No, I'm not feeling it sweetheart, if Hunter wants to throw me a batchelor party he can throw one in my honor but I want us to finish our date now," Shawn insisted and Lita's stomach flip as he drew the proverbial line in the sand and closed the gap between them with a gentle pull on her hips.

"Well, I do owe you a lapdance," Lita said and Shawn choked on his own surprise as Lita curled her finger around a loose lock of his honey blond hair and yanked it playfully, "My house is just five minutes away, why don't you break the news to the Cerebral Assman and your other friends? I'll be waiting for you up in my room," she said softly and kissed HBK on the nose and Shawn watched as his true love headed home to sleep in her own bed for the last time and would soon be sleeping with him for the rest of her life, it was a fair trade.

"Did I hear Lita right? Are you bailing out on all your friends again so you and Lita can hold hands until the sun comes up?" Hunter asked his best friend coming over to the starry-eyed Showstoppa who only had time for one diva right now.

"I see girls, guys and a big ass truck, you don't need us Hunter, party in my honor, now if ya'll don't mind, I've got a date with Big Red," Shawn told his friends and family who looked on in disappointment as HBK ran to Lita's house eager to finish what her eyes had started in his ever-loving mind.

AJ Styles tapped Kevin Nash on the shoulder and reminded Big Sexy that his house was just a hop and a skip down the road, "I don't see why ya'll can't party it up right here in my home town," he said to Hunter and the rest of the WWE and John Cena turned to the former X Division Champion with disgust.

"Because that would be like sleeping with the enemy, we ain't friends AJ why would we party it up with the inferior promotion?" The WWE Champion said and Nash, Hall and Waltman got up in his face and The Champ backed down, luckily Hunter stepped in before he got his butt kicked by the nWo.

"Shawn thinks he's gonna get out of his batchelor party because he's a Christian right?" The Cerebral Assassin said and everyone nodded, "Well I say we make it real easy for him . . . we'll make it a Christian batchelor party,"

Trish sunk her head into Rocky's chest while Melina laughed thinking Hunter wasn't seriously going to throw a Christian themed batchelor party, "I don't think you understand what it means to be a Christian Hunter," Trish said pinching the bridge of her nose in distress, "In fact, I know you don't, if you start singing Amazing Grace ootside Lita's window and get Exteme Expose to dance along like a Gospel Choir - "

"Okay ladies after 3, 1-2-3 - #Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me," Hunter sang while instructing Extreme Expose to sing along with him while swinging their hips suggestively from side to side.

"Man that's hot!" MVP said.

"God help us," Sting said lowering his head in shame as Triple H got all the divas to sing along with Kelly Kelly, Brooke and Layla and encouraging them to strip down to their bra and panties at the same time.

"That's real holy ladies now all we need is water," Hunter said applauding the divas performance while some of the wrestlers shook their head in disbelief while Christians leaving Faith and Prayer church looked on curiousy recognizing the WWE Superstars and TNA wrestlers from TV.

"What on Earth do you need water for?" Melina asked in disbelief.

"For you to bless, then we can have a Holy Water Wet T-shirt Contest," Hunter explained and Trish and Melina exchanged glances thinking this was going to be the funniest batchelor party ever thrown by a heathen in honor of a Christian who was enjoying the last few hours of batchelorhood with his dreamgirl in her bedroom and Shawn was about to see a side of Lita he'd never seen before but he knew very well; the fangirl.


	32. There's No Place Like Home Part 2

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece?

Chapter Thirty Two - There's No Place Like Home Part. 2

The street outside Lita's house was flooded with people and more were coming, Triple H, the WWE Superstars and the rest of the Kliq, told the whole neighborhood that they were gonna be up all night long so they might as well forget about getting any sleep tonight and join in with the celebration. AJ Styles called his friends and they called their friends and they called their friends from across town and so on; most of the people didn't know what they were celebrating for.

"So what are we celebrating?" Marianne and Marjorie's mom asked Brandon Montenegro who was attached to Miss Taylor and his little sister Cassidy.

"Shawn Michaels and Amy Dumas are getting married," Brandon replied and half the people gasped in amazement.

"Amy, our Amy?" one of the neighbor's said in shock.

"But I thought she was marrying Edge?" Marianne and Marjorie's mom asked confused.

"She was, she changed her mind," Marianne told her mom.

"She changed her mind?" her mother replied in disbelief and Marjorie nodded, "didn't she change her mind about marrying Matt Hardy too?"

Melina and Trish rolled their eyes, "This is all Lita needs, everyone talking her business outside her house - Edge who did you get to play at the wedding?" Melina asked Lita's ex-finace who was chugging some beer along with Mr. Kennedy and MVP.

"Who's Lita? Oh you mean Lita, sorry I'm drunk," Edge replied and Melina laughed but Trish didn't think it was so funny.

"Alcohol is bad for you," she said, "Its gonna make you do something you're going to regret," she warned Edge and the Rated R Superstar poured his beer down her top to Melina's horror but the Smackdown loudmouths thought it was funny.

"Sorry Trish I was aiming for your throat," Edge said and Trish smacked the now empty cup out of his hand in a rage.

"Get ready cause I'm about to whoop that ass!" The Rock said and speared Edge into MVP and Kennedy who both fell onto the huge keg that Hunter was pumping for more booze.

"Excuse me this is a Christian themed batchelor party, please try and conduct yourself with a bit more reverence, thank you," Hunter asked the SD loudmouths and nodded for everyone to raise their cups but Trish pointed to her lover's ass and told Hunter to kiss it much to The Game's distaste, "I'd rather kiss yours Trish," he replied and The Rock chased him onto Lita's lawn which was littered with WWE Divas all singing 'I Am a Friend of God' at the top of their voices while dancing around suggestively, the members of Lita's local church were horrified but Hunter encouraged them to keep singing knowing eventually Shawn was gonna get pissed off and appear in a blaze of fury right there outside his girlfriend's house. _What is he doing up there anyway? _Hunter wondered looking up at Lita's bedroom window, he noticed the ladder resting next to it and raised his eyebrow like The Rock and the Brahma Bull knew exactly what he was thinking.

"Joanie control your man!" Rocky told Chyna who with Kevin, Scott and Sean hid the ladder from him and Hunter cussed his old friends out, then LC tugged the hem of his pant leg and he looked down at his beloved first born assassin adoringly and asked her what plan she had come up with to get HBK into the partying spirit.

"There's only one way to get a Christian's attention," she said and Hunter listened intently, "Sing JESUS as loud as you can,"

Hunter nodded and instructed Extreme Expose to follow his lead, he cleared his throat and screamed, "JESUS!" at the top of his lungs and all the Divas chimed in.

"Join in everybody, sing JESUS over and over again!" LC said and the Georgia locals joined in with Hunter and the Divas terrible singing, the church folk adding some rhythm to it, some joined in with hand-clapping turning LC's idea into a full-blow gospel melody that was so catchy Lita just had to open her window and the Anointed Couple peered down at the sea of adoring faces looking back up at them. Everyone broke out in applause and waved at them, Lita waved back and tried to supress the laughter that was threatening to break out of her as HBK's kids turned on the hose from across the street and proceeded to soak every single one of them.

"Hallejuiah!" Shawn rejoiced as Lita's neighbors scurried back to their homes and the wrestlers flapped around in the tide of powerful water shooting them back towards the 18 wheeler they came out of, "At a boy Cameron, good girl Cheyenne, now hose them back to California Sean and Tristen!" HBK called out to Britney Spear's son and Kevin and Tamara Nash's only child who were standing on the other side of the street with Rey and Eddy's kids waiting for the signal to finish the job, by the time Hunter realized what was happening he was ass first against the WWE Production truck drenched from head to toe.

"Okay change of plans, everybody in the truck we'll party in Tijuana, screw those Anointed assholes!" he told all the wrestlers who clamored into the huge truck away from the blasting water.

"I'll drive, I guess we'll see you in the morning?" Randy Orton asked Shawn and Lita who abruptly closed the window and TKO looked at the picture of them at the altar and felt an urge to stick around, "Do you guys mind if I stay here, I feel a need to keep an eye on those two?" he asked Melina and Trish.

"Why?" the angelic duo asked him at the same-time and The King's Oracle rubbed the back of his neck bashfully.

"Well this is gonna sound totally gay but, I want to make sure they get to that church in Tijuana tomorrow, Shawn and Lita have showed me so much about true love and the sacrifices that come with it, if I can find love like that I know I'd never want anything else,"

Melina's heart melted and Trish rolled her eyes, "Fine you can stay with us, just stay away from Nitro's girl,"

Orton nodded but Johnny Nitro wasn't convinced that he was going to behave himself if left alone with the woman who come Monday Night RAW, he might have the managerial services of and so he insisted on staying too, "You're really pissing me off Nitro," Melina snarled aggrevated by her husband's paranoia and Trish told him to go.

"What?" Nitro said in disbelief.

"You heard me, leave with the others, I'm not having you upset my sister in Christ anymore, you have the rest of your lives to argue, this weekend is about Shawn and mi hermana Lita, Saturday is not gonna be a repeat of New Years Eve you got that? Now go," Trish said firmly and Nitro was about to say something when Carlito pulled his arm and told him to come.

"No way I'm not leaving Melina with Randy Orton he cannot be trusted Carly!" Nitro protested and Orton came over to Melina's husband and assured him that was not the case.

"You can trust me Nitro, at least . . . until Monday when I end this charade you call affection and show Melina how a man's supposed to treat his woman," Orton said humorously and Melina laughed knowing he was trying to get under Nitro's skin and much to her delight it was working.

"Come on guys, see you tomorrow," Shelton said pulling Nitro towards the truck with Krystal, Cryme Tyme and Matt Hardy, the TNA wrestlers hung around deciding to stay over at AJ Style's house and fly in for the wedding instead.

"Hey Kliq buddy, nice girl you got there," The Phenomenal One said to Shelton Benjamin referring to Krystal, "Ain't you gonna stick around?"

"Nah I better not, Shawn's gonna kick my ass if he sees any of us around," Shelton responded and AJ pointed to the 18 wheeler behind him and Shelton, Krystal, Nitro and Carlito noticed it was moving in their direction, "What are they doing?" Shelton asked AJ seeing Nash, Hall and Waltman who were driving it.

"Look out!" Orton cried as the 18 wheeler drove straight into Lita's house wrecking it completely to everyone's utter astonishment.

"Daddy!" Cameron cried out as the bottom of Lita's home was completely wrecked and the children waited for HBK to answer and he did, only it was from behind.

"Behind ya!" Shawn cried out and everyone jumped surprised to see the Showstoppa still in one piece, "You thought I'd die before my wedding? Come on kids, I don't think Rebecca would want me honing in on her turf,"

Lita emerged from the rubble unharmed wearing the ruby red swing dress and shoes Melina had bought for her and Trish laughed heartily realizing what was going on and explained it to everyone who were still shocked that Shawn and Lita were alive.

"Great now our date's completely ruined, way to ruin my fantasy Trish, you know how much I wanted to get Shawn in my bedroom and now I have no house, you must really want us to be miserable until tomorrow, well mission accomplished because we are!" Lita complained looking as radiant as the sun and was getting just as hot.

"I tell you God is good and He has a soft spot for you Hunter," she said to the Cerebral Assassin, wiping tears of laughter away from her face as Shawn tried to comfort Lita pretending not to be disappointed that he was one move away from having sex with her, "You told the Kliq to do that didn't you?" she asked as Triple H nodded proudly, "God knew they were gonna get hot and heavy, so He let Hunter telll Kevin Nash to drive the 18 wheeler into house to stop the Cataclysmic Reation that would have taken place,"

The wrestlers all got out of the WWE Production truck and berated Hunter for destroying Lita's house, "You could have killed them and we've only got 7 hours before we have to be back in Mexico for the wedding!" Kelly Kelly said and Trish frowned at her.

"What are you a bridesmaid or something? Shut up," she said and Mickie James blew her a kiss which HBK halted in mid air and it turned to ashes and reminded MJ of her agreement and the former Women's Champion nodded sheepishly.

"No more kissing beautiful women," she affirmed and eyed Lita adoring her ruby red get up, "You're so lucky I'm not gay for girls anymore otherwise I'd jump you like a horse over a hurdle at the Kentucky Derby,"

Shawn smiled at that statement; he nearly did jump Lita after she showed him her scrapbook and all the pictures she had stuck together of them kissing back in the Attitude Era, she even had one of him wearing the WWF Championship over his bare ass taped up inside her closet, of course Edge cut out the face and put his over it instead but the heart tattoo on the butt cheek proved that it was him. It was while he was holding his sides to stop from laughing at it that Lita disappeared into her bathroom and emerged wearing the cutest outfit he had ever seen.

"I even clicked my heels together and said "There's no place like home," Dorothy rules in that movie," Lita said and HBK frowned at Hunter who was salivating over Lita's bare legs.

"I can't believe you're gonna be my best man," Shawn sighed pushing Hunter back as he kissed Lita's outstretched hand over zealously then dropped to her feet and kissed her ruby red sandals.

He turned to his Kliq buddies and told them to all get on one knee, Nash, Hall, Waltman, AJ, Shelton and his beloved Chyna all looked at him like he was crazy and LC helped get her father's message across by signaling Sean and Tristen to get ready with the hose again, the Kliq quickly got on one knee and Shawn turned away embarassed, Lita pulled him back and kissed his hand lovingly.

"Just pretend that they're bowing to the King of Kings," she told him with a loving smile and that made Shawn feel more comfortable about his oldest and dearest friends as well as Kliq candidates AJ and Shelton embarassing themselves in front of Lita's entire neighborhood and their wrestling peers. But Embarassment was a town Hunter frequently visited, he even asked Shawn if he would consider getting a time share there with him but the Heartbreak Kid refused opting to live in Dignity instead.

"On behalf of Kevin, Scotty, XPac and Chyna I would like to take this time to thank you Lita for making a gay man like Shawn straight by dressing up as the gayest icon of them all and all the while holding Shawn's hand like the dried up prude that you've decided to be now that you're a Christian, Judy Garland would have been proud, so here's to Dorothy and her stupid Showstopping mutt Toto aka my best friend in the whole world, Shawn Michaels," Hunter said and everyone laughed, everyone except Shawn of course who was tuning up the band ready to kick Hunter sqaw in the jaw.

"Are you gonna take that baby?" Lita asked her husband-to-be.

"Does this answer your question?" Shawn replied and nearly kicked Hunter's head off but Lita stopped him mid air.

"Baby you can't do that, this is your batchelor party your "Christian" batchelor party, are you really gonna kick your best man in the face in front of my local church and neighbors? That's no way for an upstanding Christian man like yourself to act," Lita admonished HBK who pouted miserably.

"But the band's all tuned up, I need a big finish to go out on!" he exclaimed excitedly and Lita pulled Shawn directly in front of her, whipped her long red hair over her right shoulder and pretended to show him her boobs. Shawn made the Home Alone face and everyone wondered what Lita had shown him; whatever it was it stopped Shawn from kicking Hunter in the face so it had to be good.

"That was just a preview, tomorrow will be our big finish," Lita told Shawn quietly wrapping her arms around his neck amorously and was about to kiss his tender lips which were parted and had "Kiss me" written all over them when The Truth: Trish Stratus cleared her throat obnoxiously and the Anointed Couple immediately separated.

"Lita you look lovely, Shawn you're a lucky man, now I believe you owe my best friend a lap dance?" Hunter said expectantly rubbing his hands together and Chyna shook her head at his teenage kicks, the man still hadn't reached puberty yet it was amazing considering how much time had passed since DX first took over the wrestling world, it was as if nothing had changed at all, everything was just like she remembered it, only now things were even better with no signs of calming down or anyone growing up in anyway whatsoever. Shawnie was getting married, she had her man back, the Kliq was reunited and LC, Carla and Hurricane Aurora were added bonuses. There was still Jericho and Stephanie to deal with but in Chyna's mind all questions of whether or not there was a God were now answered, she couldn't have been happier with her lot in life and she had ATM to thank for that.

"Actually she gave me one already," Shawn said simply referring to the short time he actually spent with Lita in her bedroom.

"I wasn't there though, I want to see a lapdance now!" Hunter insisted and Kevin Nash whined himself up on the Cerebral Assassin much to Cameron and LC's disgust and Hunter's humiliation, the wrestlers cheered Big Kev along while Shawn and Lita walked over to AJ's house with all the children, Brandon, Charlotte and Dan where Days of Elijah was blasting through the Phenomenal One's speakers thanks to Sting and Kurt Angle who had gotten into his wife's CD collection and found Gospel gold.

"This batchelor party might not be so bad after all," Shawn said and Lita hugged him tightly as he stroked her bare shoulder.

"This is our last night as friends, I plan on waking up with you," she said affectionately.

"So we can watch the sunrise right?" Shawn asked and Lita nodded.

"But just in case I don't make it, you should know I drool in my sleep, so watch out," she added and Shawn shrugged.

"Its no problem Big Red, drool away," he said as they entered the Styles house, Shawn hadn't stopped drooling since he met Lita, and that was the Gospel Truth according to St. Michaels.


	33. There's No Place Like Home Part 3

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece?

Chapter Thirty Three - There's No Place Like Home Part. 3

AJ Styles house, 1am:

"Okay this party sucks, I say we sneak some booze around the back and drink it while Shawn's not looking, whad'ya say?" Matt Hardy said to Shelton Benjamin.

"Can't talk, kissing," Shelton replied as he and Krystal kissed it up by the stacked Styles trophy case.

"Man I miss having a girlfriend, but not as much as I miss you Jeff," Matt Hardy said looking at the almost empty bag of Skittles Lita had given him. Maria looked on while rubbing her ever swelling stomach.

"Your brother's amazing," she said her eyes sparkling under the florescent lights in AJ's lounge, "I could never get John to do anything like that for me,"

"Jeff really cares about Lita and he always had a kind of respect for Shawn, I guess he really is over what Mark said about him being gay, or else he wouldn't have gone out of his way to piss him off so bad," Matt Hardy replied and Maria blanched.

"Wait a second, Jeff is gay?" she asked in shock.

"No Taker just thought he was but that was before Shawn showed him the light," Matt Hardy explained.

"So Jeff's straight?" Maria asked making sure she got her facts straight for once.

"Yeah of course he is why? Is there somebody interested in him?" Matt Hardy asked curiously and Maria nodded towards Ashley Massaro and Matt Hardy lost all color in his face.

"C'mon Hunter let's go with that hooch!" he cried to Triple H who was still trying to get beer into AJ's house despite the protests coming from him, Shawn, Sting and ATM. Matt Hardy wrestled the keg from AJ and started hitting it hard while Ashley shook her head depressed, no-one wanted to hook up with her after the whole Whore of Babylon thing.

"Thanks for trying anyway Maria," she said to the bouncy announcer and Maria looked on sadly hoping that Jeff Hardy would give her a chance, she'd have to get in line of course, Extreme Expose over heard Maria and Ashley's conversation and now they all wanted to be with the Charismatic Enigma too.

"I was sure he was gay, Taker's full of crap man," Brooke said to Layla.

"I say we let Kelly Kelly have him," Layla said and Brooke pouted.

"No I wanna be Jeff Hardy's girlfriend," she protested.

"No way I'm way prettier than you," Kelly Kelly protested back and Lita interrupted them wondering what they were arguing about, "Lita you've known Jeff Hardy since like forever, who is he most likely to hook up with me or Brooke?" Kelly Kelly asked the buxom bride-to-be and Lita thought about it carefully, as usual Trish answered before she could even open her mouth.

"Kelly Kelly," she answered and the leggy blond did a back flip in celebration, Brooke and Layla looked to the Canadian diva for an explanation, "For the simple reason that Jeffrey loves girls who are athletic and Kelly Kelly's the only one out of the three of you who can do back flips, you wouldn't be able to keep up with him Brooke, Jeff's a break-dancing fiend, sorry," Trish explained and walked away leaving Brooke feeling very competitive all of a sudden and Lita frowned knowing where this was going.

"Oh no," she said to herself as Brooke challenged Kelly Kelly to a back flip competition, "AJ I suggest you closet all your expensive art work because something's about to get broken," she said to the host of Shawn's "Christian" batchelor party.

"Back flips? Ya'll wanna see a back flip ladies? Well check this out," AJ Styles said to Extreme Expose and did a triple back flip wowing his guests, especially HBK.

"Wow that was awesome, I bet I can do that, hold my non alcoholic beer will you sweetie?" he asked Lita who wasn't sure she heard him right and shook her head in disagreement.

"Shawn you're not seriously going to do a triple back flip in those jeans are you?" she asked him concerned, "I mean they're extremely tight,"

Shawn looked down at himself, "Are you sure these were yours Edge and not Lita's?" he asked Lita's ex-fiance.

"You gave him my jeans?" Edge asked Lita horrified, "He's too fat look his ass is just busting out of them!"

Lita bit her lip in anticipation of being able to get inside those jeans and caress Shawn's ass very, very soon, "It certainly is," she said carnally and Trish smacked her on the head and Lita resented that very much, "You're always going on about what a great ass Rocky's got, which by the way is an exaggeration,"

"What?" Trish said horrified, "Come on Lita my man's ass is way hotter than your man's ass,"

"Which man are you talking about, I mean seriously there's been like 3 in the last 2 minutes," John Cena commented and Trish slapped him around the head.

"Besides, everyone knows it ain't the back that counts, it's the front," Scott Hall said making the SUCK IT gesture at his crotch and Hunter, Kevin and Sean got in line and did the famous crotch chop simultaneously. Shawn looked on enviously really wanting to join in but those days were long behind him, he leaned his head to one side then the other and prepared himself to flip.

"Shawn I really think this is a bad idea," Lita said and Shawn hushed her but Lita continued, "At least take those church shoes off," she continued.

"Fine I'll take them off, man these are tight AJ," Shawn said trying to take the expensive Italian loafers off and the Phenomenal One shrugged.

"I wanted to give you something new for your wedding," he said and Shawn moved the shoes to one side, rubbed his hands together and went to flip but the jeans were way too tight and they split before he could leave the ground and the whole room erupted in laughter.

"Say AJ you wouldn't happen to have something else new you could give me for my wedding, like a new pair of jeans that aren't like a million times to tight, gees Edge how much do you weigh, 120lbs?" Shawn asked Rated R and Lita followed him upstairs to AJ's room.

"I'm sure I've got a pair of jeans from my old lady that I haven't worn yet, what size are you Shawn?" AJ asked HBK rumaging through his closet while the Anointed Couple came in behind him.

"32 wide," Lita answered and both AJ and HBK gave her a bemused look and she spoke into her chest sheepishly.

"Try these on Shawnie, " AJ said handing his Kliq buddy a new pair of Levi's.

"If you insist on doing anymore back flips, do one on me," Lita said cheekily and left the room, after she left Shawn collapsed onto AJ's bed.

"You've got it bad haven't you?" AJ Styles said sitting next to the Showstoppa on his bed.

"I can't stop thinking about her, I've had to fight like crazy to stop myself from taking her clothes off and devouring her beautiful lips with mine, touching her gorgeous legs with my hands and putting my mouth on her - "

"OK that's enough sexy talk Sexy Boy, only a few more hours to go Shawn, then you can make love to her just the way you want, I'm sure you won't have any problems in the love making department," AJ Styles assured Shawn as the Heartbreak Kid pulled on AJ's jeans which fit him perfectly which wasn't surprising since they more or less had the same build.

"You're right, I'm just a little horny and that red dress baby doll's sporting ain't making it any easier - EEK!" Shawn let out a pained noise and when AJ saw what he had done he covered his mouth feeling his stomach turn in revulsion, "AJ, I thought you said these were new?" Shawn said losing his breath going purple.

"They are I haven't even worn them!" AJ assured him backing up as Shawn came closer barely able to walk after what he just did.

"The zipper's broken and I'm caught!" Shawn shrieked in agony and AJ looked away totally grossed out.

"Yeah I can see that," the Phenomenal One said, "How bad does it hurt?"

"YARGH!" Shawn screamed as he tried to pull the zipper back down but it wouldn't budge, "Real bad, get Hunter he'll know what to do,"

"Okay, put some ice on it or something I'll be right back okay sit tight!" AJ assured Shawn and HBK scowled at his choice of words, "I mean just relax," AJ said apologetically and ran down the stairs to find Hunter and drag him back up to his room.

"What's with you kid where's the man of the hour, still trying to fit his fat ass into those tight ass jeans of mine?" Edge said as AJ tried to subtly get Hunter upstairs without creating a commotion, unfortunately for Shawn a commotion was about to be created.

"The train's off its tracks," AJ whispered to Hunter who had a huge problem understanding him with the Christian music blaring in the background.

"Gees Stinger will you turn that crap off? Jesus loves me I get it okay enough already!" Hunter yelled at the Icon of TNA and he complied turning 'Jesus Love Me' down a bit glad that Hunter at least got the message that Jesus loved him.

"Shawn's had a bit of an accident with the new jeans I gave him and he needs you to go upstairs right now and give him a helping hand," AJ explained slowly and now Kevin, Scott and Sean were gathered around wondering what on Earth happened up there.

"I heard Shawnie scream a couple of times but I just assumed he was excited about tomorrow," Big Sexy said cooly and Lita rolled her eyes.

"I'll go see what the problem is," she said turning for the stairs when Trish pulled her back trying not to laugh.

"This is definitely a guy thing honey, Hunter your best friend needs you and I suggest you hurry," Trish to the Cerebral Assassin who skipped upstairs towards AJ's bedroom and saw the funniest thing since he shoved Vince McMahon's head up Big Show's butt.

"You stupid sonofabitch," Hunter said as Shawn stood uncomfortably still with his dick caught in his zipper fly.

"I can't get it out, its stuck what am I gonna do?" Shawn hissed in pain going red with agony while Hunter went red with hysterics.

"One second I'll be right back," he said then he hollered down the stairs, "Kevin, Scott, Sean you gotta see this Shawn's got his dick caught in his pants!" Hunter yelled down the stairs, everyone heard but nobody believed him except those who knew when Hunter was kidding and when he was serious and the Kliq knew he was dead serious and came a-running to help their Christian brother out.

"Ouch, that's nasty," XPac said seeing Shawn's trapped nether regions.

"I think I'm gonna throw up," Scott Hall said looking away in disgust.

"This is no big deal," Big Kev said strolling cooly over to his old friend and putting his hands on his shoulders to calm him down, "All you have to do relax, I'm gonna get this bad boy back on track, everybody count to 3 now," he said to the rest of the Kliq.

"After you say 3 or like right now?" Hunter asked him and Shawn gave him a snarling glare, "I just wanted to make sure we were all in time," Hunter explained and his boys shouted him down.

"Pay attention Hunter this is serious, Shawnie's got a big day tomorrow and the last thing he needs is for his dick to be out of service!" Kevin Nash admonished the co-founder of DX, "Lita's a very sexual woman, she gonna want him to go at her pace, he's gonna have to be at his best and break her off no questions asked,"

"I don't think Lita has sex as her highest priority, she looks like a hugger to me," XPac said dreamily, "Don't you just wanna hug her real tight?" he asked Shawn who nodded through his pain.

"Um-hmm," he squirmed as Kevin began to lower the zipper and saw that he was starting to relax.

"What else do you want to do to her Shawn?" Hunter asked seeing the effect Lita was having on him, he wasn't in as much pain as he was before.

"I want to run my fingers through her hair and tell her how much I love her," he answered and Scotty and Sean sighed affectionately and Kevin eased the zipper down over Shawn's private parts noticing how easily it slipped out as Shawn began to fantasize about making love to Lita.

"I think you better take these bad boys off and go kick AJ in the nuts for giving you these," Big Sexy said helping Shawn take off the shoddy jeans.

"What am I gonna do I can't walk around like this all night?" Shawn protested.

"Why not, you used to walk around naked all the time when we were rolling together on the road?" XPac said as Shawn rummaged through AJ's drawer looking for underwear.

"That was a long time ago, I'm a Christian now I can't be the Sexy Boy you guys grew up with, I've got children and a career to think about," he said finding a pair of Calvin's and he slipped them on then welched in pain, "Shit," he snapped and his boys knew things weren't alright down there as he looked up at them dispairingly.

"Looks like Lita's gonna be in for a big disappointment, cause the Heartbreak Kid can't get it up," he said regretfully while Hunter's mind turned immediately to the one person who he knew could heal him right up, he just hoped Nitro wouldn't have a problem with his wife laying hands on Shawn down there and he flew down the stairs to find Melina the Miraculous to stop Shawn and Lita's marriage from starting off on the wrong foot.

"Maybe now Shawnie will wear underwear from now on," he said to himself as he grabbed Mrs. Hennigan and brought her into what was now the emergency room leaving Lita with more questions than answers and Trish with a dilemma which was to laugh out loud or hold it in until after the honeymoon was over, whatever her decision this was turning out to be the worst Christian themed batchelor party Shawn Michaels ever had and it was just getting started.


	34. There's No Place Like Home Part 4

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece?

A/N: This chapter contains some sexual references that may be unsuitable for younger readers.

Chapter Thirty Four - There's No Place Like Home Part. 4

AJ Styles' House, 2am:

Lita paced back and forth waiting for Shawn to come down and finish their conversation, she didn't remember what they were talking about before his pants split but she sure missed the sound of his voice.

She grabbed AJ Styles who was about to take a drink when Shelton Benjamin snatched it out of his hand and wagged his finger at him.

"You don't drink AJ what's wrong with you?" Lita asked the Kliq candidate, "What's going on up there, is Shawn okay?"

"Lita please don't be mad at me," AJ started anxiously and Nitro, Carlito and Randy Orton came over to listen in on the conversation that was causing Lita's hair to flare up.

"Shut your mouth AJ," Randy said to the TNA star firmly, "Lita don't worry it will be okay," he said turning to Lita and squeezing her arm gently and Lita squeezed his arm back but not so gently and Randy winced in pain.

"Why don't you tell me what happened and I'll decide if its gonna be okay or not?" she said firmly her grip burning into Randy's arm causing AJ, Shelton, Carlito and Nitro to wince. Edge abruptly seperated them looking at Lita with great disapproval.

"That is not how you're supposed to treat the man who is responsible for bringing you and Shawn together," he admonished his ex-fiance still hammered from all the booze he'd been drinking all night and Lita turned away from his stinking breath along with the others, "This is how you treat him," Edge continued and he Speared Orton into AJ's stereo system stopping the Christian music and causing Trish's lips to curl in anger. She pulled Edge off of AJ and called Lita over to her.

"Don't take your anger out on Orton like this crazy mutha-canucka, Randy's only doing his job," Trish explained and the Anointed one grabbed her warming hair in frustration.

"What are you talking about Stratus, I wanna know what's happening to the most important man in my life right now!" she said and the stereo started to shake along with everything else that wasn't nailed down in AJ's house and Sting looked over at Kurt Angle who looked over at Rocky for an explanation.

"What's going on?" the Wrestling Machine asked The Great One who gulped in response telling Kurt that whatever was going on wasn't good for anyone in the house right now.

"I think we should evacuate the guests before things get out of control," Rocky whispered to Trish who nodded and signalled for everyone's attention.

"Okay listen up everybody, Shawn and Lita need some time alone so everybody over to Marianne and Marjorie's house where this crazy Christian batchelor party will continue," she said and everyone looked at Lita who was cooling off in gratitude to Trish and Rocky for getting them out of her way, whatever was wrong with her other half was her business now and nobody else's as Hunter, Big Kev, Razor and Sean were about to find out.

Upstairs in AJ's room:

Shawn lay deflated on his bed while Hunter sang to him, or more accurately to his crotch. HBK was getting impatient and kicked his best friend irritably.

"Lita said no kicking!" Hunter admonished him.

"Well stop because whatever you're doing is not working," Shawn replied.

"The only thing that's not working is your dick and if my sweet little Hurricane Aurora has shown me anything, its that music heals all wounds," Hunter said and Shawn frowned as Hunter continued to sing 'Rock You Like A Hurricane' to his crotch.

"Ro-Ro blew half of the country away in the last two months, that's not exactly romantic," Shawn replied bewildered by his best friend's logic and Big Kev rolled his eyes.

"Is it still just lying there?" he asked Shawn blatantly and Shawn nodded, his friends had encircled him around AJ's bed observing his crotch for movement since there hadn't been any since his wardrobe malfunctioned. Lil Michael was limp and as much as he tried HBK couldn't get it to move at all and his friends had tried everything from singing to it (Hunter), to yelling at it (Razor), Big Kev even went as far as to blow on it and XPac suggested one of them SUCK IT back to life to which Hunter responded by Spinebustering him into AJ's carpet stating that Shawn didn't swing that way and if he ever did it would be in The Game's direction, Sean was still nursing the bruise on his back and HBK was starting to give up.

"Its hopeless you guys, I'm never gonna be able to perform my spousal duties after the wedding, I might as well get Lita up here and tell her the marriage is off," Shawn sighed and suddenly AJ's bedroom door swung shut and the Kliq jumped up and saw Chyna standing with Melina the Miraculous who had her eyes covered so she couldn't see the half naked sexy South Texan laid back on AJ's bed.

"It's just us, I finally convinced Miss Priss USA to come in," Chyna said wrestling Melina over to the bed but the Latina struggled against the 9th Wonder of the World not wanting to see Lita's man naked and piss her husband off in the process since Nitro was already jealous of every man that looked her way, knowing that she was in a room with the Kliq and a half naked Shawn Michaels would push Nitro off the edge. It suddenly occurred to Melina that she was about to say no to healing someone and that meant she would lose her miraculous healing abilities before Jeff Hardy came back to life and ATM was disbanded forever so she relented.

"Surely if there was one person on Earth who deserved to be healed before ATM closed up shop its you Shawn," the Miraculous One said behind closed eyes and the Kliq guided her towards the exposed Showstoppa enthusiastically, "But Nitro would never forgive me!" she hesitated and Shawn laughed.

"Forgiveness is a two way street Mel and if you can forgive that mink wearing Ken doll for hitting on everything that walks, he can forgive you for healing Lil Michael, now make with the miracle Melina, I've got a woman waiting on me and I don't want to be around these closet cases one minute more than I have to," HBK said humorously but the Kliq took offense to his statement and slinked away from the bed to the floor and watched as Melina drew nearer to the Heartbreak Kid's half-naked body. She didn't see his golden skin, his pulsating chest or even his daring blue grey eyes, all she felt was the hot hard hands of Anointed Amy pressing onto her arms and escorting her out of the room along with Chyna and Hunter, Kevin, Scotty and Sean who followed after them. Lita closed AJ's bedroom door and turned to the man of the hour, she tiptoed over to the bed and dropped to her knees.

"Ah," Shawn gasped as the warm hot breath from Lita's mouth brought Lil Michael back to life, "Melina you really are miraculous," he breathed blissfully reaching down between his legs to pat Melina's head thankfully but the hot strands felt familiar and he couldn't believe what he saw when he opened his eyes, "Lita!" he gasped in horror.

"What you think I'd let Melina get anywhere near your special little guy?" Lita asked offended and leaning over Shawn's lap gazing up into his eyes which were dazzled by both her boldness and her beauty, "And by the way, you're not so little, but you are a special guy Shawn," she said sweetly and smiled at Shawn who was relieved he wasn't impotent and that Lita was here instead of Melina. Lita stood suspended as Shawn disappeared underneath her ruby red swing dress, as the red material slowly slid down her sides Lita got hot, real hot, in fact, she was too hot to touch and Shawn flew out from under her and sat back on AJ's bed shaking out his burning hand.

"You get nothing tonight," he said remembering the Cataclysmic Reaction that Trish said would be caused if they touched each other before the wedding, "I'll make it up to you tomorrow," he said pulling Hunter's big white sweater down and he reached out to her, Lita closed her hot hands in his and they cooled down instantly but she had broken out into a sweat and couldn't stand up straight. Shawn laid her down on AJ's bed and stood back watching as Lita's body writhed seemingly of its own will, something was happening, she was having somekind of reaction to him. _But all I did was touch her hands, _Shawn thought to himself in shock and he smiled thinking what would happen when he made love to her, _this is going to be the most amazing sex I've ever had, _he said to himself. He breath suddenly caught in his throat as Lita's red dress hitched up a little. Shawn panicked and turned away lest he give into temptation, he listened to her panting, her body erupting with pleasure as she called his name, she was thrilled by the idea of making love to him for real and not just in some teenage fantasy.

"Shawn," she breathed aimlessly.

"I'm right here baby," he replied softly trying to stop himself from turning around, Lita was on fire and he didn't want to catch it.

"I can feel you inside me, you light me up!" she breathed and Shawn lost his breath as he imagined himself beside her and it hardened him much to his annoyance.

"I'm sorry you had to come up here otherwise you wouldn't be turning me on so much right now," he sighed wrenched with desire, "I want you so bad Lita I don't know if I can wait until after the wedding,"

Suddenly the room went quiet and Shawn turned around to see Lita sitting on the side of the bed with her head down and her hands clasped; she was praying, she didn't want to have sex before the wedding either, Shawn came over and sat next to her.

"Are you okay Big Red?" he asked her tenderly stroking her shoulder with a lingering finger cooling her hot skin off, Lita turned to him and saw that she was not the only one in need of sex as Shawn's face was warm and his heartbeat had accelerated, he was ten seconds away from jumping her and she knew it. She pulled her hair behind her ear and exhaled deeply putting all ideas about sex out of her head.

"I came this close to ruining everything just then, but I pulled back because I want you more than I want sex, I hope you're up to the challenge," Lita said amorously and Shawn nodded reassuringly and pinched her nose and playfully put it in his pocket.

"You know I am Lita," he replied confidently and Lita smiled.

"I just had to make sure, that's why I had Trish send everyone to Marianne and Marjorie's house, I want us to be lock and key, there's no-one else I care about as much as you Shawn, do you feel the same way about me?" Lita asked hopefully and Shawn hesitated.

"I love my children more than life itself, if I said that I loved you as much I would be lying," he said honestly and Lita nodded.

"I guess I've still got some big shoes to fill," she said thinking about Rebecca lying back on AJ's bed looking through the window at the night sky counting down the hours til they headed back to Tijuana for the wrestling wedding of the decade, "Rebecca was the mother of your children and she loved them very much, Cameron and Cheyenne will never love me the way they love her and I wouldn't want them to," she said and turned to Shawn who was listening intently hoping that Lita was going to be realistic about life as a Michaels, she reached out for his hand and he gave it to her gladly with a shy smile, "but I hope you can love me with enough to let me try and love them as much as I love you," she said honestly.

Shawn choked back tears a few escaped which Lita wiped away from his face then she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and kissed the exposed muscle there, Shawn gazed at the night sky looking at the stars counting each one of them as a witness to the moment Lita became his wife in spirit while Hunter, Chyna, Hall, Nash and Sean would have to wait on the otherside of that door until morning because he was going to soak up as much of this wonderful woman's love as he could before the wedding day madness began and their first and only date would be officially over.


	35. Just Call Me Angel of the Morning

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece?

Chapter Thirty Five - Just Call Me Angel of the Morning

Shawn and Lita's Wedding Day, Atlanta GA, 6am:

The early morning sun began to rise and spill gloriously over Lita's neighborhood, her friends were trying to sleep after partying straight edge at Marianne and Marjorie's house but they were about to get a rude awakening, especially the defiant Edge who was about as straight edge as Sandman.

"Ow!" Edge yelped Matt Hardy fell on top of him from the couch where he and MVP had been sleeping while Edge, Mr. Kennedy and Undertaker were asleep on the floor, "Get your fat ass off me Hardy, Randy will you pull him up?" Edge cried to TKO who was irritated by his former Tag Team partner's screeching voice so he buried his head in Torrie Wilson's lap and ignored him, Edge was furious and he kicked the couch causing everyone to fall on top of him.

"Will you guys keep it down I'm trying to sleep over here!" Nitro complained still wearing his Gucci shades, he hadn't taken them off all night.

"Why aren't you sleeping upstairs in M&M's guest bedroom with your wife?" Mr. Kennedy asked the grumpy former IC Champion. Nitro scowled and removed his shades much to everyone's surprise.

"You know if I were you I'd keep my mouth shut, I know that's probably really hard for you to do you loudmouth punk," Nitro hissed fully awake and now so was everyone else thinking Nitro looked better with his shades on.

"Things are about to get ugly up in this house," Matt Hardy said still sitting on top of the Rated R Superstar.

"Matt if you don't get off me right now I'm gonna take a king-size bite out of your ass!" Edge threatened his former friend but Matt liked it when Edge was uncomfortable and wasn't intending to move anytime soon.

"Bite away Adam, bite away," he replied and Adam being the deranged rabid werewolf that he was took a huge bite out of Matt Hardy's butt causing V.1 to scream out loud waking both Melina and Trish up and making Marjorie and Marianne's mother very concerned and she ran into the living room in her dressing gown and slippers along with her two daughters who were still pissed at her for not letting them sleep in the living room with the WWE Superstars or TNA wrestlers.

"Hey guys today's the big day, stop messing around and get in the shower we're leaving in less than an hour!" Melina told the squabbling Superstars who were more interested in sleeping than showering.

"Marjorie and I have drawn up a list for who gets to shower first," Marianne said waving a pretty pink piece of paper in front of everyone, "Randy, Cena and Nitro you guys are welcome to join me," she said flirtatiously and Trish smacked her upside the head.

"I don't have a problem with that," Melina said sarcastically and Trish rolled her eyes, "There's not a woman in this room who wouldn't want to shower with my husband, isn't that right Brooke, isn't that right Ashley?"

Nitro got hot and was about to give Melina a piece of his mind when Randy tripped him up and he landed face first on the carpet, Melina laughed and Randy winked at her as he walked up to take a shower. Trish nudged Melina in the ribs not pleased with her juvenile behavior.

"Get a grip missy, I know you can't wait to give Orton your "managerial services" but we've got to get Lita up before she misses her own wedding," The Truth said and the Miraculous one nodded.

"You guys make sure they all get showered okay?" Melina said to Marjorie and Marianne who nodded enthusiastically not hating on their mom so much anymore and they giggled soaking in the sight of all the near naked male bodies in front of them saying a prayer of thanks to Jehovah for this wonderful gift.

"Send Vince the water bill," Trish said to M&M's mom and gave the woman of the house a hug, "Shelton you're in charge,"

"Yes Ma'am," Shelton said enthusiastically and Carlito protested saying he wanted to be in charge, "Why should you be in charge?" Shelton asked the Cool One, "Just because you two used to go out you think she owes you something?"

A pin dropped and everyone heard it, Trish's mouth dropped open and Carlito frowned in confusion.

"We had a relationship?" he asked the retired Women's Champion scratching his afro and Krystal scowled at her boyfriend and JTG smacked him with his cap and Shad stepped on his foot and Shelton yelped in pain.

Trish was in a serious dilemma; she couldn't lie so she had to tell the truth, "Yes Carlito, we had a relationship, I moved to Florida to live with you and everything,"

Carlito gulped and came over to the blond beauty bemused by what she just said, "Why don't I remember being with you, what happened after Unforgiven between you and me?" he asked fervently.

"We hooked up Carlos but, it didn't work out," Trish continued not wanting to bring Shawn into it by explaining the whole Kiss of Life and how it wiped all memory of her from Carlito's mind.

"Why didn't it work out, did I cheat on you?" Carlito said and all the boys laughed.

"No you were the perfect boyfriend," Trish said pulling back her tears and regained her composure, "I was in love with someone else,"

"Oh," Carlito said and he shrugged giving Trish a charming smile, "So you cheated,"

Trish gasped, "No I just never realized I was still in love with him, I never meant to hurt you Carly I swear!" she cried grabbing Carlito by the shoulders and shaking him passionately and everyone felt her pain, Trish really did care for Carlito and she wanted them to be friends even though the man Carlito had suspected she was still in love with had won her heart back in the end, "Please don't hate me let's be like Matt and Lita, let's be friends til the end,"

Carlito looked over at Shelton who was in a head vice applied expertly by his Kliq buddy AJ Styles, "What do you think, is she telling the truth?" he asked his old rival but Shelton couldn't nod even if he wanted to.

Trish took Carlito's hand and pressed it to her heart, Carlito was taken aback by the gesture.

"I am telling you the Truth and nothing but the Truth, I swear on my heart," she said and Carlito was convinced.

"Okay mama," he replied and kissed her hand before yelling up the stairs for Randy Orton to get out of the shower.

"Phew!" Shelton said coming up to the Truth after getting away from AJ, "That was a close one huh? No hard feelings right I mean, I'm still in charge?"

Trish gave Shelton a sarcastic smile, "Oh you're in charge alright, you're in charge of all the coats and putting the wedding gifts somewhere safe when we get to Tijuana, AJ I'm putting you in charge, come on Mel let's get the Anointed Couple up," Trish said and the angelic duo left, Shelton was furious but AJ was delighted, being kicked out of his own house didn't seem so bad now that he was deputy and Shelton wasn't.

"That's right Shelton I'm in charge and with that little stunt you just pulled you ain't never getting in the Kliq, you could have ruined Trish's entire life just now, you may be The Greatest Pure Athlete Ever to Step into a WWE Ring, but in my neck of the woods you're just stoopid," The Phenomenal One said to his Kliq buddy.

"Stoopid?" Shelton said in shock.

"Yeah that's right, stoopid," AJ Styles said and Shelton Dragon Whipped him into the sofa sending everyone flying onto the floor again.

"How stoopid was that?" Shelton said cockily and Sting applauded Kurt Angle's former protégé.

"That weren't stupid, that was sick," the Icon said, "You should come to our neck of the woods kid, maybe then you'll get a shot at the NWA Championship or even the X Division Championship,"

Shelton snickered, "I'll rather go for a real Championship know what I mean Cena?" Shelton said staring down the current WWE Champion who was curled up with Maria on chair closest to the door.

"You and everyone else, I would tell you to put your money where your mouth is but you obviously have no problem running your mouth do you Benjamin? That is until you've got a microphone in your hand and we're live in over 150 countries," The Champ replied and MVP and Kennedy laughed.

"Yeah laugh it up John, one day I will be WWE Champion and you can go home and change diapers with Maria," Shelton replied and everyone laughed including Maria.

"What are you laughing at?" Cena asked his babymother who got to her feet and stretched.

"I just can't see you changing diapers I mean you haven't changed your outfit in like two years," she replied and everyone burst out in hysterics Maria not realizing how funny she was until it was too late, "What I mean is - " she fumbled attempting to cover but it was no use, she was no bimbo and could be as funny as Shad and JTG when she felt like it, "Sorry baby but wrestling is not your strength, you should stick to making babies, you're obviously good at that!" she said patting her swollen stomach and Cena's face fell while everyone else's face reddened with laughter and a "Maria!" chant broke out making Melina wonder what she just missed as she and Trish made their way over to AJ Styles' house.

As they pushed the open door and entered into the empty house they knew Shawn and Lita were not up yet, the house was silent except for the snores of the Kliq outside AJ's bedroom door.

"Oh this is so cute, they're eavesdropping," Trish said pulling Sean up by his long black hair and dragging Big Sexy's leg moving him away from the door while Melina tickled Scott and he rolled away in a ball, only Hunter and Chyna were actually sleeping, surprisingly Chris Jericho and Stephanie were sleeping next to them.

"What are they doing here?" Melina said puzzled by the on again/off again couple, Trish smiled at the sleeping baby in their arms and the sleeping warrior princess in Hunter's knowing there was much work to do before Stephanie and Hunter could move on with their lives.

"Come on we've got more important bidness to take care of," The Truth said stepping over the two couples pushing AJ's door open and there were: the man and woman of the day locked in each other's arm fast asleep. Melina was touched thinking how beautiful they looked together, Lita's hair sprawled over the pillow like velvet and Shawn's loose locks fell over his left shoulder revealing his beautiful face, his arm was wrapped tightly around the Queen of Xtreme, his lips sat at the bridge of her nose and her lips curled in a contented smile.

"She's gonna be so mad at us if we wake her up," Trish said and Melina agreed.

"This job's not all blessings and Halleluiahs," she said soberly and let out a Primal Scream waking both Shawn and Lita up at the same-time.

"Wake up we've got a wedding in 7 hours, let's go-let's go-let's go!" Trish said like a NFL coach. Melina helped Lita put on her shoes while Shawn stared at Trish from the side of AJ's bed unamused.

"We barely got Hunter and Chyna to leave us alone before Jericho and Stephanie decided to pay us a visit, Aurora woke up and took out her frustration at being woken up prematurely once again by turning this room freezing cold and LC started kicking everyone's ass like some martial arts sensei and now you two disturb our slumber, you know what I think baby?" Shawn said turning his attention to the sexy mamacita in the red swing dress and ruby red slippers.

"What do you think baby?" Lita asked her sexy Texan.

"I think we should go back to sleep, we can go to Tijuana when we're good and ready that's what I think," Shawn declared, "Are you down with that baby?"

"Oh I'm down," Lita said kicking her shoes off and jumping back onto AJ's bed.

"Make sure ya'll close the door on the way out, we'll see you later," Shawn said escorting Trish and Melina out of the room and slamming it shut before crawling back onto his side of AJ's bed next to his lovely lady Lita who welcomed him into her arms once again.

"Much later," Lita agreed closing her eyes and breathing against Shawn's hot skin while he nestled his face in her hair taking nothing but pleasure in her unhindered company.

Outside AJ's room Trish was delirious with rage and Melina was overcome with glee, "Did you see that? They are so adorable Trish I'm so happy for them right now I could cry," Melina said emotionally.

"Will you get a grip of yourself hermana?" Trish said impatiently, "This is seriously wrong,"

Melina frowned, "No its not, its seriously romantic, they just want a few extra minutes to themselves we'll have them on a plane in no time, let's just leave them alone for awhile they've had a terrible time getting some privacy, is it so wrong for two people who are head-over-heels in love to be alone?"

"They've got their whole lives to be alone!" Trish roared and HBK flinched at the level of her voice.

"Keep it down or get out Stratus the choice is yours!" Shawn said firmly but Trish weren't going nowhere knowing what was gonna happen if she left Shawn and Lita alone much longer.

"If they go back to sleep Lita's gonna let her guard down and Shawn's gonna make love to her right here in Atlanta, GA," Trish told Melina and the Miraculous one gasped in horror.

"They can't do that they're not married yet, okay I'll take care of this," she said and was about to let off a wicked Primal Scream when Trish gagged her mouth.

"That's gonna get us kicked outta here faster than illegal immigrants," The Truth said knowing Shawn was a man of his word, "I've got a better idea, get up Hunter!" she said kicking the Cerebral Assassin and Triple H grumbled something derogatory about Canadians over-staying their welcome and LC pinched his nose cutting off his air and he finally woke up.

"No Vince please not another dull ass promo about your grapefruits, haven't the WWE fans suffered enough?" he said obviously having a very bad dream then Chyna shook some sense into him and he looked up at the hot blond staring down at him and felt his leg which was sore for some reason, "Don't tell me you came all the way over here to get your ass kicked by my girlfriend Trish, cause Chyna's gonna kick your ass for that!"

"Damn straight," Joanie said eye-balling the sexy Canadian.

"Amen," LC concurred punching her hands together menacingly but Trish wasn't fazed.

"Listen you Cerebral Assclown, I want you to go in there and wake up Shawn," Trish said and Jericho balked at her illegal use of his catchphrase.

"What! No way he's pissed at me for trying to get them to have Live Sex all night already, if I try and wake him up again he's not gonna let me be his best man!" Hunter panicked.

"No he won't, just go in there and whisper this in his ear," Trish said and whispered words for Hunter to say to Shawn in his ears and The Game chuckled, got up and jumped onto Shawn's side of the bed pulled up next to him and said the following to him:

"Shawn Michaels this is Jesus your Lord and Savior and I want you to get up and leave this house and go to Tijuana and marry Lita at 1 o'clock in the small church Rey Mysterio used to wrestle in. I'll be there waiting along with Rebecca, Eddie, Owen and Jeff Hardy," he said and Shawn's eyes shot up and he sat up straight and looked up at the ceiling.

"I'm on my way Jesus!" he cried and smacked Lita on the arm and she got up holding her reddened arm angrily.

"You got two seconds to explain yourself Heartbreaker or I ain't saying I do," Lita snarled angrily.

"Jesus just spoke to me and he said we have to leave for Tijuana right now!" Shawn said pulling Lita off the bed and to her feet as the red-head soothed her now aching arm.

"He did not," she replied.

"He did too!" Shawn affirmed.

"He did not!" Lita returned.

"He did too!" Shawn yelled defiantly.

"Listen to me Shawn I'm the Anointed one I know when Jesus speaks and he said natta okay? He said zip, you wanna know who told you to get up look outside and you'll find out who really spoke to you," Lita said firmly and Shawn opened the door and saw Hunter smiling up at him and he slammed it in his best man's face then re-opened it.

"You're not my best man now, Sean is," he said and closed the door on Hunter's horrified face and turned back to his fiancé who was holding her arm in pain.

"I'm sorry let me kiss it better," Shawn said reaching out to Lita but he held his own arm and felt a shot of pain sear through his skin where his pierced heart tattoo was and looked to Lita for an explanation.

"What I feel you feel, we're eternal soul mates remember? We got Double Anointing, you hurt me I hurt you, that's the ways it goes from now on Shawn Michaels," she explained and Shawn pulled up the sleeve of Hunter's large white sweater and saw that his pierced heart was bleeding.

"How do I make it stop?" he asked terrified, he'd never seen anything like this before, "I mean I've heard of stigmata is that what this is?"

"Sort of, it'll stop bleeding when I stop hurting," Lita said and showed Shawn her arm, "Look," she said and he looked at her green meanie monster tattoo which was growling at him.

"Oh my," Shawn said covering his mouth fully realizing what had happened, "I'll never hurt you ever again I swear," he said devoutly but Lita shook her head unconvinced, "In Jesus' name I will never - ,"

"No Shawn don't swear on our Savior's life, you'll bring damnation on yourself," Lita warned him covering his mouth with her hot hands, "You will hurt me, and I'll hurt you, we're human beings and human beings are no good selfish bastards,"

"Amen to that!" Trish said from outside and Lita laughed.

"Thanks for the support honey!" she called out and Shawn ran his fingers through his hair confused.

"So whenever we hurt each other we get afflicted with pain is that what you're saying?" Shawn asked, "I need to understand this because I ain't looking to bleed everytime I piss you off,"

Lita smiled loving his honesty, "He was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities," she said quoting Isaiah 53:5.

"And by his stripes we are healed," Shawn added completing the famous verse.

"Amen," Lita said and she looked down at her arm and saw that her green meanie was back to sleep, she looked over at Shawn's arm and saw that his pierced heart had stopped bleeding and he smiled at her relieved.

"We really are Anointed," he said amazed at what he had just experienced, "God really did want us to be together,"

Lita nodded, "But not to hurt each other to make love to each other and bring the Gospel to those who need to hear the Word of God," she said wrapping her arms around Shawn and kissing him on the place where his skin was bare wanting to rip off the big white jumper and devour him with kisses but that would have to wait because they had a wedding planned to kick off in 7 hours and they didn't want to leave all that cake to their greedy friends and family.

Lita opened the door and saw eager faces staring at them but the only faces she cared about were the faces of her sisters in Christ. Trish and Melina took her away from her true love and down the stairs, they would be back together soon and this time it would be as one Anointed couple under God and it would be forever.

"Come on Shawn you gotta let me be your best man, I'm the co-founder of DeGeneration X baby!" Hunter said desperately but HBK shook his head nodding to XPac who was smiling from ear-to-ear.

"I tell you what, why don't you be the best man at our wedding?" Chris Jericho said and LC signaled Aurora and Hunter's baby girl threw her sterling silver rattle at Stephanie's main squeeze and the Kliq laughed.

"Are you gonna raise this little girl right or she gonna grow up to be a total psychopath like you?" Stephanie asked her ex-husband.

Hunter looked over at Chyna who hugged LC to her lovingly, "I'm gonna raise her to be like her mother, strong, sexy and the greatest Women's Champion of all time," he replied and Chyna blew him a kiss and he took it and put it on his ass causing the Kliq to laugh.

"I am so touched that you're gonna raise LC to be like me," Lita said from the bottom of the stairs thinking Hunter had just described her, "Shawn I want him to be the best man, choose Hunter, XPac sucks," she said before Trish and Lita pulled her out of AJ's house to Marianne and Marjorie's.

"No honey he was talking about-" Shawn started but his best friend gave him the puppy dog eyes and his heart melted right there.

"Do what your future wifey says Shawnie," Kevin Nash said and XPac shot him a look like he was the evilest person on the planet.

"Okay Hunter you can be my best man, but you better behave yourself or else Sean's back in," Shawn warned him.

"I won't let you down Shawn I'll be on my best behavior from here to Mexico!" Hunter assured him and Razor made the "Yeah right" eyes.

"So no watering the wedding bouquet," Shawn said.

"Check," Hunter replied.

"No throwing eggs at the limo as we leave the church," Shawn said.

"Check," Hunter replied.

"And no looking down Lita's dress at the altar," Shawn said and Hunter went quiet, "Well?" Shawn said impatiently and Hunter finally gave in.

"Fine I won't hit on your wife," Hunter replied reluctantly and LC rolled her eyes.

"Don't worry dad there's plenty of other women you can hit on, what about this one right here?" she said pointing at her mom and Hunter kissed Chyna's outstretched hand and said.

"Hey baby, wanna catch a flight to Tijuana and see the greatest wedding in wrestling history?" he said cocking his eyebrow romantically.

"I think we should sit on the other side of the church," Stephanie said to Jericho who agreed sticking his fingers down his throat repulsed by Hunter and Joanie's affection toward each other and Aurora reached up for her father but Stephanie was reluctant to let her go, so she dropped her temperature and Stephanie let go allowing LC to take her in her arms and give her an Evolution thumbs up.

"You can sit with the Degenerates," she said to her baby sister giving her back her rattle which Aurora shook jubilantly and Shawn panicked.

"You guys have got to get on at least for the next 7 hours, I want this day to be perfect," Shawn said weary that the tension between Stephanie and Hunter was going to get Hurricane Aurora very angry and he'd have to call of the wedding which meant delaying making love to Lita even longer and that was not gonna happen, the sooner he got his hands on Lita the better; he was exhausted with unfulfilled desire it was way past funny now.

"Don't worry about us spoiling your big day Shawn, worry about my dad and Shane," Stephanie said and Shawn sighed along with Hunter and the rest of the Kliq.

"LC I'm gonna need you to run security," he said to Hunter's cerebral ass-kicker, "I want you to look out for a pissed off, power walking billionaire and his ass-kissing progeny, I want you to keep them outside the church and don't let them in on any circumstances okay?" Shawn asked her and LC looked up at her father for clarification.

"Progeny is a fancy word for "Spawn of Satan" sweetie," Hunter explained and LC shook her head in agreement.

"I'll recruit Cam-Cam, Chey, Carla, Cassidy, Charlene, Tristen, the Mysterios and the Guerrero kids, I may need to arm myself too," LC said strategically and Aurora motioned that she wanted to help by flailing her arms enthusiastically, "Okay Ro-Ro you'll be my Weapon of Mini Destruction,"

"At a girl Ro-Ro," Shawn said to his god daughter and clapped his hands together assured that everything was under control and looked down and realized he wasn't wearing any pants, "Where's my tux guys?" he asked the Kliq who gestured to Hunter in Kliq fashion and the Cerebral Assman told him he looked fine just like that.

"Calm down Shawn!" Hunter said as HBK flew into a rage thinking Hunter had forgotten to pick up his tuxedo when they were in San Diego, "Let's go to those two foxy fanatics' house and get changed with the other wrestlers first, then I shall unveil your tailor made tuxedo courtesy of Cameron and Cheyenne Michaels,"

Shawn's heart swelled, "Cam and Chey picked out my tuxedo?" he said touched.

"They said you should look your best for Lita, they did good Shawn you're gonna love it," Hunter assured his best friend pulling him over into a bear hug and Shawn tried to keep the butterflies in his stomach down but it was hard to stay calm when the entire wrestling world was heading for Tijuana to watch the most notorious WWE Champion of all time marry the most controversial Women's Champion of all time; it was indeed a Match made in Heaven and it was coming up next!


	36. The Big Payback

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece?

Chapter Thirty Six - The Big Payback

San Diego PD, around 7:30am:

Vince, Shane and Linda McMahon were awoken suddenly by the guard who was watching their cell.

"Wake up you crazy McMahons, you have a very special visitor," he said and wrestling's first family wiped the sleep out of their eyes and saw President George W. Bush standing in front of their cell accompanied by several national security officials.

"Mr. President!" Vince blurted out.

"Will you let them outta there please?" the President said to the guard which he did and the McMahons quickly left the dank cell grateful for their freedom.

"Thank you Mr. President!" Vince said kissing George Dubya's hand much to the President's disgust and he pulled his hand away from Vince's pursed lips.

"Did you really call in a fake terrorist alert Vincent, after everything this country's been through? Not to mention your wonderful divas Lita, Trish and Melina's angelic triumph over our enemies in Iraq? What on Earth has gotten into you boy?"

"It wasn't supposed to go this far sir," Shane McMahon explained but the President didn't look too happy with his excuses.

"Come on my car's waiting outside and I've got a wedding to go to after I'm done with you three crazies," he said and Vince, Shane and Linda exchanged glances as they left the precinct and got into the President's motorcade.

"Are you gonna ask him or should I?" Vince asked his wife and Linda volunteered.

"This wedding wouldn't happen to be Shawn Michaels and Amy Dumas would it sir?" she asked.

"Yes it would and I have something very special to give both of them," The President replied and The McMahons' curiosity peaked.

"What did you get for them Mr. President?" Shane asked the Commander In Chief.

"Well, every so often I give someone who has done a great service to our fair nation whatever they want, it could be a new car, a new house or even $1 million dollars, today I'm going to grant Shawn and Lita that privilege,"

"Whoa that is very generous of you sir," Shane said and his parents agreed, "Why did you bail us out of jail after what we did?"

"Think of it as a favor for all ATM have done for the war on terrorism and Shawn Michaels suggesting I open my own Kiss My Ass club and have your father be the first member on national television, all week kids have been asking me if I'm down with the Kliq its been a real trip!" The President responded and Vince screwed up his face enraged as they rode with the leader of the free world to San Diego airport which was still canceling all flights and journeys out of the state due to the phony terrorist alert.

"What are you doing?" Vince said as the President's motorcade stopped and two national security guards abruptly pulled him out as the President addressed the concerned travellers who wanted to get home but couldn't.

"Get up there on that wall Vince and tell all these people what you did," The President said and Vince blanched.

"But they might stop coming to our shows!" Vince panicked and the President shrugged.

"You wanna go back to jail?" he asked coolly and Vince looked back at his family who shook their heads refusing to go back to that dank smelly cell and the Chairman of the Board had no choice but to relent.

"Ladies and Gentleman, I am Mr. Vincent K. McMahon," he started and a hail of boos came down much to the Chairman's chagrin, "DX have done it again, they have banned my family from attending what is bound to be the most controversial wedding in wrestling history!"

"What's that got to do with us not being able to get out of San Diego?" one of the people said.

"I thought that if I called in a fake terrorist alert I could keep DX here and convince Shawn Michaels to let me come to his wedding," Vince explained and the people booed, chants of "asshole" and "traitor" broke out and the smarks in the crowd scratched their heads.

"HBK's getting remarried?" one of them asked confused.

"I'm just as surprised as you are okay? You'd think after almost twenty years of making that man a bona fide WWE Superstar he'd extend me an invitation to watch him and Lita get married," Vince said bitterly and the wrestling fans broke out in amazed applause.

"My God I thought that was just a rumor!" one of the smarks said holding his head in amazement.

"HBK and Lita, oh my!" another one cheered, "Are there any tickets left?"

"Yeah how much to go to the wedding?" another fan asked and the President stepped in.

"No people this isn't a PR job, I just asked Vince to explain his actions so you would know why travel out of San Diego was canceled yesterday, Shawn and Lita's wedding is a very special but private affair for friends and family only, y'all can't come - even Vince isn't invited," The President explained and the crowd of commuters laughed thinking it served The Chairman right and if there was anything The McMahons hated it was being laughed at.

"You people want to see Shawn and Lita get married?" Vince asked the fans and they cheered.

"I'll pay $75!" one fan cried out.

"I'll pay $150!" another fan cried out.

"I'll pay $300!" another one said.

"Put your money away people because I am extending you an official invitation to Shawn and Lita's wedding free of charge," The Chairman of the Board said, "I'm on my way there now in fact, why don't we all go together!"

"YEAH!" the fans chanted and Shane and Linda gave Vince a hi five thinking he was genius while the President looked at him like he was insane.

"You can't fly into Tijuana with all these people!" he exclaimed.

"I'm Vincent Kennedy McMahon Mr. President and I can do anything I want, see you in Tijuana, come on Linda, move it son, we've got a wedding to crash," Vince said to his family as flights out of San Diego reconvened and hundreds of rabid WWE fans and curious spectators flew first class to Tijuana, Mexico courtesy of Vincent Kennedy McMahon while the President decided to call DX and warn them that a storm was coming and this time it had nothing to do with Hurricane Aurora.


	37. From Georgia With Love

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece?

Chapter Thirty Seven - From Georgia with Love

Inside the church in Tijuana, Mexico around 8:30am:

Rey Mysterio hung up and turned to Vickie and Chavo Guerrero with a deep sigh, his close friends already knew what was up, they could hear Shawn's voice on the other end of the phone.

"Vince will be making a special appearance at their wedding right?" Vicky asked sewing the flower halo for Trish and Melina's bridesmaid's outfits.

"It's worse than you think, Madman McMahon has invited our fans to the wedding!" Rey exclaimed and Chavo and Vicky gasped in shock.

"But the church is so small there's no way all our fans are gonna fit, your kids and the Guerreros already invited all the Latino Nation, where are they all gonna go?" Chavo asked concerned preparing the Thirteen Gold Coins that Shawn was going to give to Lita at the wedding ceremony.

"Maybe they don't want to come inside the church, maybe they just want to see Shawn and Lita as they come out," Vicky Guerrero said and Chavo and Rey chuckled, "What?" Vicky wondered what was so funny.

"You haven't been on the road as long as we have Vicky, when our fans get excited there's no stopping them, they'll break down the church door if they can get a glimpse of Shawn and Lita getting married, remember how nuts they went over Eddie's death?" Rey-Rey explained to her.

"You're right, we have to do something, oh if only there was some way we could get the fans to respect Shawn and Lita's wishes," Vicky wondered rubbing her chin thoughtfully and Rey came up with an idea and called the distraught bridegroom back.

On board Delta flight 7685 from Atlanta, GA to Tijuana, MX. . . .

LC watched as her father's best friend paced back and forth raking his perfectly groomed hair viciously out of place much to his son's chagrin; Cameron had spent ages combing his father's hair and now it was all messed up again. She looked at her father recommending some tough love but Hunter wouldn't touch Shawn, he'd burn his fingers off if he did, Vince's latest shenanigans were the last straw and Shawn was on fire with rage.

"He's gonna burn this whole plane down if he doesn't calm down," Chyna warned her boyfriend who sighed caught between what to do now, he didn't know how to remedy the situation nothing he could say was gonna make Shawn see McMahon's antics as anything but child's play, when it came to love, Shawn didn't mess around and this wedding meant more to him than his job.

"That's it I'm quitting," Shawn said adamantly and the eyes of his friends and family widened with horror, "I mean it I can't work for a man who would exploit the sanctity of marriage like this, I guess you're on your own Hunter,"

"NO!" Hunter fell to his knees clinging at the hem of Shawn's pant leg and the Showstoppa looked at him like he was crazy, "I'll convert to Christianity if you stay!" Hunter said and Shawn laughed, now he knew he was crazy and tried to shake him off but Hunter wouldn't budge.

"You're serious aren't cha?" Shawn asked him and Hunter shook his head sincerely.

"I can't go on with DX without you Shawn, you're the missing piece in the puzzle, you complete me Shawn, you're oxygen to my lungs, nitrous to my tank and peanut butter to my jelly, please don't go, we'll figure something out Shawn - won't we guys?" Hunter said looking over at his fellow Kliq buddies and wrestling associates and snarled at them impatiently when they didn't say anything, "One of you numbskulls must have an idea of how we can get Shawn and Lita to the altar in one piece?" he insisted crushing Shawn's pant leg between his hands and Cheyenne wrenched him off angry that the tuxedo she and her brother had picked out was as much of a disaster as her father's hair now.

"Where's Jeff Hardy when you need him?" she sighed, the Charismatic Enigma would know how to keep her father looking good all day long.

"Come here sweetie," Shawn called to his little girl and she jumped into his arms as he tried to calm down, "I'm sorry I'm acting like a jackass, I just really wanted this day to be special you know sweetie?"

Cheyenne nodded, "I know Daddy, I want you to look special so when all those people show up in Tiana, Mexico you'll look good for the cameras," she said and Shawn seethed with rage.

"Cameron take you sister before I accidentally set fire to her dress," Shawn called to his son who took his sister over to where Carla, LC, Cassidy and Tristen were sitting, it was much cooler on their side of the plane.

"We gotta do something you guys, daddy ain't gonna make it through that service without causing Mr. McMahon some serious pain and bring damnation on himself and Lita too, their marriage will never recover!" Cameron said anxiously and LC growled enraged.

"And you know Mr. McMahon would love that, he'd like nothing better than for the old HBK to come out and prove once and for all that your father hasn't changed his life at all, that his Christian walk was just a big joke, well I say we show him who's boss, are you guys ready to lay the smacketh down on Mr. McMahon once and for all?" LC asked her friends and boyfriend who nodded adamantly including her baby sister who was sucking on her sterling silver rattle, "Then everybody give me a YEE-HAH!" LC demanded and Carla, Cameron, Cassidy and Tristen all went YEE-HAH and everyone turned their attention to the adorable children wondering what they were up to because when those guys got together something amazing always happened and today would be no different.

"Yee-hah!" Aurora Rose said after taking her rattle out of her mouth and everyone cheered in amazement as Hunter's baby girl said her first word.

"Did you hear that daddy? Aurora's first word is 'Yee-hah!'" Cheyenne said to her Uncle but Hunter wasn't impressed at all and wagged his finger at Hurricane Aurora annoyed.

"I told you sweetie I don't want you taking after these weird cowboy kids and their chap-wearing daddy, say "SUCK IT"" Hunter insisted and Aurora stone faced him, "I said say SUCK IT Aurora, now!" Hunter said again but Aurora didn't respond.

"I'll help her dad," LC said and whispered a word that sounded like SUCK into Ro-Ro's ear, "What do you say now Ro-Ro?" LC asked her baby sister.

"Oh my God Hunter did you just tell Aurora to swear?" Shawn said getting off the phone with Rey Mysterio horrified by the F bomb his god daughter just dropped.

"No Shawn it was all a misunderstanding right LC?" Hunter said not wanting to make his Christian brother any angrier than he was already.

LC shrugged, "It was?" she asked innocently and Hunter gave her a dark look, "Oh right you want me to lie, I see," LC looked down at her baby sister and wagged her finger the way Hunter did, "I said say SUCK IT Aurora not F**K IT, you watch your mouth young lady!"

Everyone gasped and Chyna and the children tried to stop from laughing as Ro-Ro said F**K IT over and over again and Shawn held his head in disbelief.

"If ever there were grounds for Stephanie McMahon to get full custody of Aurora Rose you just discovered it," he said to his best man and Hunter shrugged and started to see the humor in it that everyone else aboard the Delta 7685 was.

"I think the fact that Steph's a McMahon pretty much disqualifies her from all rights to Aurora Rose, those people are certifiably nuts," he replied and Shawn smiled in spite of himself, "Did Rey-Rey have anything positive to say about what's going down now that Vince has invited all of our fans to your wedding?"

"Yeah as a matter of fact he did, he reminded me what happened back at Chris Jericho's apartment in L.A yesterday, this wedding is going to go ahead without a hitch and I'll tell you why," Shawn said and he shared Rey-Rey's idea for getting back at Vince McMahon once and for all with the other side of DeGeneration X.

Aboard Delta flight 885 from Atlanta, GA to Tijuana, MX . . .

Trish and Melina stared in awe as Matt Hardy added the finishing touches to Lita's hair, she looked like a miracle it was hard to believe that this beauty was the same woman who had gotten down and dirty with Edge on live TV last year.

"Well guys what do you think?" Matt Hardy asked the angelic duo who was gaping at the Anointed one with their mouths open, Lita had taken their breath away and Matt Hardy smiled, "I'll take that as good," he said and Lita smiled back at him and squeezed his hand lovingly.

"Thanks for being here with me," she said warmly, "I wouldn't want anyone else to do this,"

Matt Hardy nodded, "It's my pleasure Amy, Shawn's a great guy; Jeff knew it all along, he's gonna be super hyped that I had the balls to ante up and walk you down the isle to your true love,"

"Wait til you see the dress her mother had made for her," Trish said as Melina stroked her hair wondering what they were gonna look like standing next to the most beautiful bride in the world in a few hours. She had seen the bridesmaid dresses Vicky had especially made for them and they were incredible but not as incredible as Lita's.

"If Shawn doesn't jump her bones at the altar it will be a miracle," Melina told Trish humorously and Trish hugged her baby sister in Christ lovingly.

"That's why Lita needs you to be her bridesmaid O Melina the Miraculous," she said and the angelic duo hugged each other watching Lita as Matt applied the finish touches to their hair.

"Wait Matt, we haven't seen what you're wearing to the wedding," Lita realized, "Leave those babes alone they look sensational already, go change I wanna see what you came up with for the happiest day of my life!" she said excitedly and Matt disappeared into the back of the plane and re-emerged wearing a black shirt and dress pants, but the coup de gras was the coat spray painted with Team Extreme and a mural of Jeff, Matt and Lita on the back. Lita was moved by the sentiment and started to cry, "Matt you look amazing," she wept overcome with emotion, "Come here and give Big Red a hug," she said and Matt squeezed Lita to his chest and twirled her around excitedly.

"You're getting married Amy, you're gonna be Mrs. HBK!" he said starting to get the picture all the fans were getting right now on the flight over to Tijuana and through the Internet forums.

"Yep she's gonna be an official DeGenerate, in both name and nature," Trish said humorously and Melina slapped her on the arm.

"And I can't wait to say "I do" and then have the pleasure of kissing Shawn Michaels in front of the people I love the most," Lita said looking at Trish and Melina, "You guys have been the best friends I've ever had, next to Matt, Jeff and the Edgemeister. This would never have happened without you, its gonna be hard after Jeffrey comes back to life and we all go back to normal,"

Trish and Melina nodded wiping a tear from their eyes, "It's been a wild ride hasn't it chicas?" Melina said emotionally.

"You guys are talking like it's over, we're still ATM until Sunday people now get excited about it!" Trish cried out and Lita and Melina cried out in joy saying "Halleluiah!" at the top of their voices in celebration of love made in Heaven about to pour out on all the Earth into the human bodies of Shawn and Lita. Only The Truth knew that this was only the start of what was to be an incredible adventure for the Anointed one and her beloved St. Michaels but she'd tell them about that after the wedding, it was going to be the greatest wedding gift of all.


	38. Last DXit From Mexico

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece?

Chapter Thirty Eight - Last DXit From Mexico

Tijuana, Mexico less than an hour to the wedding . . .

Vince McMahon and his uber-supportive family rallied the wrestling fans from San Diego together and headed for the Camino Real, the completely destroyed hotel near the church were Shawn and Lita were getting married. The airport and tourist officials tried to explain to the mad McMahons that this resort was out of bounds right now due to the devastation the Whore of Babylon had caused yesterday, they might as well have said nothing because there was no stopping Vince, Shane, Linda or the hordes of fans from being there when Shawn and Lita said 'I Do' or so they thought, as much as Vince thought he could bring it, DX always brought it harder and now Shawn and Hunter were all grown up and they had little Degenerates (or little angels) ready to stand up for them.

LC had rallied her old friends Cassidy, Charlene and Carla as well as her boyfriend Cameron, his sister Cheyenne, Tristen Nash, Sean Preston together. Rey, Vicky and Chavo told Dominic, Aaliyah, Shaul, Sherilyn and Kaylee Marie what to do when they arrived with The Rock, Stephanie and Jericho who panicked when they saw the army of rabid WWE fans awaiting their arrival at Tijuana airport.

"Now I understand why Shawn was so mad, look at all these people!" Stephanie McMahon said as the WWE Superstars met with the fans, signed autographs, etc, "My father's really done it this time,"

"Yeah he's gone way too far," The Rock said as girls clawed at his clothes and pulled him over for pictures and kisses and to say hi to their friends who couldn't be there on their cell phones, you know the usual stuff the WWE Superstars had to go through on a daily basis, only that was triple threat in Mexico right now, "Stephanie you got to tell your Dad to hold them off before Shawn and Lita get mobbed!"

Chris Jericho gawked removing his sunglasses for a better look at the mob of fans and then he saw the most frightening thing of all, "Why don't we all tell him right now, he's right over there," he said pointing to the Chairman of the Board who was dressed like a normal fan in a Chain Gang throwback and sweat band trying to be cool and so were Linda and Shane.

"Oh my God," Stephanie McMahon said hiding her face from her family in shame; it was the most embarrassing thing she had ever seen and the fact that the same blood was coursing through her veins made it worse, but her families incredibly stupid attempt to blend in was not lost on the WWE Superstars or TNA roster who recognized them instantly. Sting took exception to the whole thing and stormed over to the Chairman of WWE Entertainment angrily.

"Are you high on acid Vince?" The Icon asked and Vince frowned at him.

"No, why do you ask?" The wrestling mogul answered casually strutting like a rapper.

"Because you are totally tripping," The Rock said coming over to The McMahons with Chris and Stephanie, "Tell these people they can't come to Shawn and Lita's wedding Vince this is wrong,"

"No it isn't because nothing I do is wrong," The Chairman responded.

"What about the XFL?" Jericho responded.

"Or getting mom to kick J.R in the nuts?" Stephanie added.

"You slapped him!" Vince countered.

"That was because you told me too!" Stephanie retaliated.

"I told you not to have a baby with Hunter too and look what happened? Now you're divorced and estranged from my grand-daughter, instead of having a little Jericho you had a freaking Hurricane, and that's what happens when you disobey your father, now if ya'll would excuse me, my crew and I have a wedding to attend. Come on people the church is right over there, peace out ma brothas!" Vince said to the frenzied wrestling fans that followed him like rats would the Pied Piper of Hamlet.

"What do we do now?" Rocky fretted rubbing the back of his neck feeling the tension there growing at quickening rate.

"Maybe we should sic Aurora on your family, it worked in Florida," Jericho suggested but Stephanie shook her head.

"No I can't ask my baby girl to use her powers to stop my father again its too dangerous plus I promised Shawn I wouldn't let her get mad and ruin the wedding," Stephanie explained.

"But the wedding's gonna get ruined anyway!" Rocky fretted anxiously, if he had long hair it would start falling out right now that's how stressed he was getting.

"There is one way Shawn and Lita's wedding can be saved," Stephanie told Chris and Rocky who waited eagerly for her to tell them how, "I can't believe this but I'm actually sure that bastard daughter of Hunter's could be the one to save the day,"

"Who LC?" Rocky said rubbing his chin thoughtfully, "She's only a kid what's she gonna do against your 60 year-old father who must be suffering from a mean case of dementia right now?"

Stephanie and Jericho exchanged glances and laughed at how easily Rocky underestimated the little warrior princess, "She's no kid, she's a cerebral ass-kicker and if she loves Hunter as much as I think she does she'll take care of this," Stephanie assured The Rock.

"Come on let's get to the church before Rey get's mobbed," Rocky said sprinting ahead of Vince with Stephanie and Jericho flying behind him, the faster they ran the smaller the church looked and the bigger the crowd of fans seemed.

"Rocky what's going on did Vince invite all these fans to the wedding?" Chavo Guerrero asked The Great One as he bolted through the small church doors with Steph and Jericho not far behind him. Rey and Vicky locked the door behind them their hearts racing with anxiety.

"There's no way all those people are getting in here," Vicky said.

"You got that right," Rocky said then something hard slammed against the door.

"What was that?" Jericho wondered nervously.

"Umaga's ass, Vince always has him on hand if he needs to bully someone," Stephanie replied and Rocky groaned angrily.

"That fat ass ain't no better than Rikishi and he eats twice as much, quit banging on the church door you tubby sumbitch, there ain't enough food in Tijuana for you anyway!" The Great One shouted through the door but the Samoan Bulldozer only banged harder and everyone started to panic that was until they saw Melina and Trish and all thoughts of Vince and his evil plan to destroy the wrestling wedding of the decade was shelved as Lita's radiant bridesmaids in Christ ran over to the troubled wrestlers.

"Vicky you did a great job," Stephanie said amazed at their outfits.

"Don't they look beautiful?" Chavo said admiring Vicky's skills on the sewing machine, she had designed a pink taffeta tutu dress with puffy mesh sleeves and ballerina slippers and topped it off with a flower halo while Chavo had bought a bouquet of sunflowers for each of them to hold.

"Get away from the door Rock, LC's got everything under control just like Stephanie told you," Trish said reaching out for her boyfriend's hand but he was stuck to the door, her beauty had frozen him there and he couldn't move and look at her at the same-time, "Okay close your eyes and come toward the sound of my voice," Trish said flattered by his astonishment at how good she looked and Rocky moved away from the door and everyone expected Umaga to come crashing through it with legions of fans at his tail along with the crazy McMahons. That didn't happen and it wasn't going to happen, Operation SUCK IT was in effect.

Outside the church LC, Carla and Cheyenne collapsed to the floor and Cameron, Dominic and Tristen attended to them, the wave of frenzied fans parted around them standing back to see what had happened.

"Okay stand back, everybody just stand back!" Cameron Michaels said efficiently.

"What's going on here?" Konnan said with Hernandez and Homicide and the entire Latino Nation behind him, "What happened on our turf in Rey Mysterio's old neighborhood, I want an answer and I want it now,"

LC grabbed her leg and screamed, "My leg, that man stepped on my leg!" she said pointing to Vince who was still getting jiggy with Linda and Shane further up in the crowd.

Cameron played along and fired up, he stormed over to Vince and jerked him around angrily, "You stepped on my girlfriend, you broke her leg!" he snapped enraged his cheeks on fire and his eyes ablaze but Vince recognized him at once and bore down on him with a menacing glance.

"Go tell someone who cares like your daddy!" Vince retorted and laughed despicably and Cameron shoved him.

"Aren't you even going to apologize?" Konan asked in shock and Vince waved him off.

"One less Mexicana to deport back to this dump," Vince said and the Latino Nation gasped in horror, "Now get out of here and take your cheap little chica with you," he said and shoved Cameron one more time, this time Cameron exaggerated the move and fell down hard and cried out in pain.

"Cam-Cam!" Cheyenne cried out and ran over to her little brother crying hysterically.

"At a girl Chey let those tears fall!" her brother encouraged her.

"Daddy!" she cried.

"Daddy!" LC cried and all the fans gasped as their daddies showed up, better known as HBK and HHH along with Chyna and the Kliq. All received a rousing ovation when they arrived, especially the original members of DeGeneration X who were dressed in like colors except Shawn who instead of the standard green and black, his children had picked out a black silk shirt and pant combination with matching cowboy hat and boot a la Johnny Cash but Hunter had picked the jacket and it was purple. When Shawn asked Hunter why purple Hunter explained that he couldn't wear green like him and Joanie because he was part of a new Kliq now and purple seemed like more of an Xtreme color. With his hair in a French braid and his old silver cross around his neck Shawn looked like the bridegroom of the year, Hunter wore a black tux with green shirt and Chyna wore a sparkly green Las Vegas showgirl outfit much to Shawn and Hunter's amusement and Chyna shrugged when she saw their gaping mouths when she changed into her outfit saying "Once a Playboy Covergirl, always a Playboy Covergirl," Hunter rubbed his hands together ravenously then turned his attention to the matter at hand.

"I am going to enjoy this," Shawn said as Hunter attended to LC, Carla and Cassidy while he collected his pride and joy ignoring the flashing cameras and screaming girls as he strutted towards the front of the church to the suave and conceited Chairman of the Board.

"Vince you have finally gone too far, you messed up big time old man!" HBK said defiantly and Vince grimaced.

"I'm not Vince I'm just a regular fan, can I have your autograph HBK?" Vince said amused by Shawn's angry expression and the whole crowd started chanting "HBK!" at the top of their voices much to his children's amusement and Vince noticed that they were laughing at him, "What are you laughing at huh?" he taunted them, "You think its funny that your father banned me from his own wedding, a wedding that will be televised globally around the world on Monday Night RAW, how you like them apples brotha?" Vince teased Shawn who was getting angrier and angrier by the minute.

"No you're not this is a private affair, stay out of this Vince this is my life and you're not gonna turn this into a farce like you did Lita's wedding to Kane and Edge!" Shawn replied vehemently.

"Oh yes I am, do all ya'll fans wanna see Shawn and Lita get married?" Vince asked the crowd who cried "YEAH!" at the top of their fans and the crazy Chairman turned back to Shawn with a victorious smile, "And here I thought you lived to give the fans what they wanted, now you want to have a private wedding with the most controversial Diva in WWE history, that doesn't sound like the Showstoppa I know, come on Shawn admit it, you want to be rich and famous again and this wedding to Lita will make you more rich and more famous than you've ever been if you'd just let me film it, come on Heartbreak Kid, give an old billionaire a break,"

Shawn turned away from his boss disgusted and turned to the hundreds of WWE fans staring at him and his family and friends at the doorstep of the church, "If you guys love me as much as you say you do you'll leave me and Lita alone, I'm seriously in love with this woman and up until now she's been treated like a piece of meat, Vince and his family are soulless they don't know any better, but you guys have seen me change, you've seen me get born again and you know how much I value the sanctity of marriage," Shawn squeezed his children's hands, "We lost the most beautiful woman in the world this year," she started choking up at the memory of Rebecca who's initial was still tattooed around his finger, "Guys please don't make me lose another one,"

The crowd sank, they were genuinely moved by Shawn's admission and his ability to tell it like it was and they respected that and turned to leave much to Vince's horror, the WWE Superstars couldn't believe it either but Hunter, Joanie and the Kliq weren't surprised, Shawn had always had a special place in the heart of the fans and he always would and they didn't want him unhappy on his wedding day, even if it was the most anticipated wedding in WWE history.

Shawn turned to Hunter who wiped a rebel tear away from his best friend's face, "See I told you, honesty is always the best policy," he said with a big smile and banged on the church door which swung open and Rocky jumped out waving a flaming candelabra over his head.

"Come on you Samoan sack of crap bring it, I dare you to bring it come on Umaga let's go!" The Great One cried thinking it was Umaga that had knocked on the door then he saw all the fans leaving and realized that all was well and the wedding was due to start on schedule.

"Give me that!" Hunter said snatching the candelabra away from Rocky and Rey Mysterio came out and gave DX a hi-five.

"You ready to get married Heartbreak Kid?" Rey asked HBK who nodded taking a deep breath and praying that nothing else disturbed the biggest day of his life after his children's birthdays.

"Time to kiss the bride," Hunter said excitedly puckering his lips and Shawn and Chyna frowned.

"Yeah I'm kissing the bride, put the lip balm back in your pocket," Shawn said to him as Hunter plastered his pursed lips with cherry lip balm which had mysteriously disappeared from Lita's handbag.

"That better be for me," Kevin Nash said reaching over for Hunter who flew behind Chyna for protection from Big Sexy and Hall and Waltman jumped on him and they play brawled on the steps.

"How about these kids huh weren't they great?" Konnan said bringing Dominic and Aaliyah over to Rey while Shaul, Sherilyn and Kaylee Marie followed behind with LAX and the rest of the Latino Nation.

"Thanks for the help Konnan," Shawn said shaking the Leader of LAX's hand firmly.

"Anything for the Kliq baby," Konnan replied nodding at Kevin, Scotty and Sean who through up the Wolfpac sign in respect to the New World Order.

"Shawn aren't you forgetting something?" Rey asked HBK reminding him of what they talked about on the phone.

"Oh that's right," Shawn said pulling a legal document out of his pocket, "DX have an announcement to make, uh-hum, ready Hunter?" Shawn asked his best man who balked.

"You're asking me if I'm ready? Shawn I'm the one who says that just steal my bit and my hairstyle already," Hunter pouted and Shawn furrowed his brow in confusion.

"I was rocking the tight ponytail long before you were Trips," he said and Hunter was about to get into one when Chyna silenced them by knocking their heads together.

"There's a woman waiting for you inside the church Shawnie, get on with it already," Chyna admonished her tag team partners who rubbed their sore heads much to LC's amusement.

"You're so much cooler than dad's first wife mom," she said to her mother fondly and Chyna picked her up and squeezed her lovingly planting a kiss on her head while Shawn and Hunter delivered the last and final blow to The McMahons.

"As a result of consistently and maliciously putting Hunter and myself in harms way and attacking our children on numerous occasions, we both find you Vince McMahon and anyone with the McMahon name incapable of running a wrestling company. After obtaining strong counsel from Dixie Carter, President of TNA, DX declare The McMahon family corrupt criminals and we will speak to the Board about taking over,"

Vince, Shane and Linda blanched and looked at each other confused by what they had just heard so the Kliq repeated it in classic nWo style, "DX ARE TAKING OVER!"

"Or to put it your way Vince, YOU'RE FIRED!" Hunter roared and Shawn stuffed the legal document in the Chairman's gaping mouth, it was a genuine petition for dismissal of said parties Vince, Shane, Linda and Stephanie McMahon and for Shawn Michaels and Hunter Hurst Helmsley to be co-owners of the WWE. Vince pressed the document to his nose for a closer read and Linda and Shane felt like crying knowing that DX had every right to sue them for their wreckless, careless and dangerous behavior over the last six months.

"I think I'm gonna faint," Vince said drips of sweat falling rapidly from his brow onto the legal writ as the WWE Superstars, TNA wrestlers and friends and family members entered the small church as Trish and Melina welcomed them in smiling ecstatic with what had just gone down. Trish slapped Vince on the back and pointed towards the airport.

"I suggest you catch the next flight out of here this wedding is by invitation only and you and your crazy ass family aren't on the list, see you on Monday!" she said and walked into the church leaving The McMahons to themselves and they had better get used to their own company since they just lost the WWE.

"And we didn't even get any wedding cake!" Shane complained and Vince attacked him chasing him all the way down to the airport while Linda cried over the document that was going to put her husband, her son and herself on the unemployment line or worse, make them get normal jobs!

"NO!" Linda cried falling to her knees and Stephanie helped her up and carried her back to the airport trying not to laugh as much as Jericho's impression of her mother going insane was making her sides split.

"I'll see you inside Jericho, save me a seat, on the bride's side," Stephanie told Chris who nodded and entered the small church where everyone waited for the ceremony to begin with baited breath.


	39. Touched By An Angel

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.  
Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece?

Chapter Thirty Nine - Touched By An Angel

The church was packed; eager faces were focused on the statues of Jesus and the Virgin Mary around them, it was definitely a Roman Catholic Church. To start off with everyone was talking but now it was quiet, eerily quiet, everyone had reverence for the Lord, some because they knew that Shawn and Lita would have wanted that, some because they grew up in church and it was customary to be still in the presence of the Lord.

They were visitors in His house and they were about to watch two of His servants get married. Everybody rose to their feet to welcome Pastor Hagee who had flown in specially to perform the ceremony arriving pretty soon after George W. Bush who sat with Vicky and Chavo Guerrero on the groom's side along with LAX and the rest of the Latino Nation, the McCools, the Montenegros, Charlene, Britney and Sean sat with Miss. Taylor, LC and Carla on the bride's side while the Kliq gave Shawn and Hunter a little pep talk before Lita made her way down the isle. Cameron and Cheyenne brushed out their father's hair and dusted him down once more before taking a seat next to Chyna and LC who were laughing at Hunter who had started to eat Lita's cherry lip balm.

"Hunter will you stop eating Lita's lip balm?" Shawn said trying to get the little container away from his best man, "That stuff is so sweet I'm thinking I might kiss you and not the bride!"

Hunter raised his eyebrow suggestively and Shawn gave him a dark look as his best friend puckered up for him to kiss him, Shawn squeezed Hunter's lips between his fingers getting the sweet smelling balm on this tips unable to resist he put his fingers in his mouth, "Get away from me with that stuff!" Shawn said regaining his composure, there were only one pair of lips he was interested in tasting right now and they and the woman they belonged to would soon be coming his way.

Shawn turned as Hunter gasped looking down the isle and he saw Trish coming down and after her came Melina, then as everyone stood eager for the lady of the moment to arrive, Matt Hardy appeared dressed in the coolest jacket Shawn had ever seen and on his arm was the woman he was about to marry.

"Lord have mercy," Shawn said as Lita walked down the isle her hair split on either side in two bunches of big red curls and her wedding dress was the same color, a deep red with matching gloves and upon our head sat a daisy wreath and she wore it proudly looking like something out of My Chemical Romance video. The Texan's heart skipped a thousand beats as the beautiful woman he had admired from afar in secret for so long came closer and closer becoming more and more beautiful to him with every step she took, Matt finally reached him and Hunter who was already in tears much to Matt Hardy's surprise.

"Pull it up Trips, we're just getting started here," he said comforting the Cerebral Assassin and taking him over to his Kliq buddies and sat watching as Shawn took in the moment second to second.

"Hey," he said excitedly and Lita smiled excited herself.

"Hey," she said knowing Shawn wanted to tell her something she didn't know what but she got the impression he really liked the dress her mom had picked out for her.

"You look beautiful Lita," Shawn said taking her hand and giving it a warm squeeze which Lita reciprocated with a squeeze of her own.

"Call me Amy," she replied and Shawn smiled removing his cowboy hat and giving her a nod to show his respect for the lady, that floored Lita completely; she had never felt more special in her entire life and in front of her peers, friends and family, "Take it away Pastor," Shawn said to Pastor John Hagee who was shielding his eyes from the brightness of Lita's smile.

"You don't even need me to perform this ceremony, you two are obviously already married in spirit, this ceremony is just a ritual, as far as I'm concerned Shawn you've already taken this awesome woman of God to be your lawful wedded wife. And Lita, you've been wanting the right man for as long as you can remember and you found him in the arms of another, then God took her away and put you in her place because she was not his true love. I remember when Shawn and Rebecca used to come to my church and they would look like every other Christian couple, I wondered what was missing from that relationship, where was the spark, the fire that was supposed to ignite the marriage. When I saw you in that casket after you gave your life in the War Against Terror in South Baghdad, God had literally put you through the fire and transformed you from the brash, cocky arrogant Diva that Shawn Michaels used to be,"

"Easy Pastor," Shawn interjected and Hunter laughed along with the rest of the congregation.

"I know you're all man Shawn but you were out of your mind more than in your right mind and it took a life-changing experience - the birth of your first son, to turn that all around, Lita sacrificed her life for her country and became a true American hero in every sense of the world," Pastor Hagee turned to Lita and smiled, "Not only have you conquered stereotypes in wrestling, you've found what everyone is looking for: you found love," Pastor continued and then he looked over and smiled at Shawn, "Then love found you, you've found each other against all odds and it is my honor and privilege to marry you both right now here in this small church in Tijuana, Mexico today,"

Everyone got up cheering and hollering in celebration of the opening speech when Hunter told them all to shut up and wait until they said "I Do".

"Thank you best man," Pastor Hagee said and Hunter gave him an Evolution thumbs up and the Pastor continued.

"The rings please brother Matt and brother Hunter," he said and Matt and Hunter quickly gave Shawn and Lita the rings, "Now Shawn repeat after me, "With this ring I thee wed,"

"With this ring I thee wed," Shawn said to Lita and placed the ring on her finger.

"Now Lita repeat after me, "With this ring I thee wed," Pastor said and Lita repeated,

"With this ring I thee wed," she said to Shawn but she didn't put the ring on his finger, instead she showed him his hand and Shawn gasped when he saw the initial 'A' tattooed on his wedding finger.

"O my God how did that happen?" he asked amazed and Lita pointed to her lips,

"My cherry lip balm combined with your Kiss of Life when you sucked it off your finger and God put my initial there and removed Rebecca's," she explained and Shawn laughed joyously.

"Our God is an Awesome God," he said in gratitude for the Divine Tat. Pastor Hagee was very impressed he'd never seen anything like it in his 25 years of ministry, it was not a surprise to the congregation who had known what God was capable of after all the adventures they'd been through with Amy, Trish and Melina over the last year.

"Now repeat after me Shawn, "I Shawn," he said.

"I Shawn," Shawn repeated.

"Take thee Amy," Pastor said.

"Take thee Amy," Shawn repeated.

"To be my lawful wedded wife," Pastor said.

"To be my lawful wedded wife," Shawn said tears now falling down his face and Lita choked back her own feeling her heart swelling under her Big Red wedding dress.

"In sickness and in health," Pastor said.

"In sickness and . . . and . . ." Shawn struggled to get the last part of the vow out but it wouldn't come out, "In sickness and . . ." he tried again but it was no good; it was Rebecca, the memory of her dying came flooding back and Lita went immediately into compassion and stopped Pastor from going any further, she took Shawn by the hand and squeezed them lovingly in her own.

"I know you can't say that you'll love me in sickness and in health after everything you've been through this year, but I can love you after sickness and death take away everything you have. Whether it be your beauty, your wealth, your job, whatever you lose you'll always have my love to fall back on. I am your lawfully wedded wife and you are mine in the rich, the poor, the good and the bad, I love you Shawn Michaels, just keep smiling baby, look at me I can't stop smiling, don't loose yours again," Lita said every word from the bottom of her heart stunning Pastor to almost silence and the congregation were in tears.

"Shawn do you have anything more to add or can I decree the blessing so you can kiss this wonderful woman that God has given you?" Pastor asked HBK who was smiling like he was born again - again.

"Say it again I wanna hear it again!" Shawn said to Lita jumping up and down excitedly with her and everyone was jumping up and down along with them, they wanted to hear Lita cut the promo of her life one more time.

"I bet JR loved that," Melina said to Trish who nodded knowing that he did.

"Ya'll wanna here it one more time?" Lita asked everyone who responded with a rousing "YEAH!" in the small church, Lita loved it, she felt like a WWE Superstar again, "Um, no," Lita responded and everyone booed her and she laughed while Shawn told them to be quiet in respect of the House of the Lord.

"So if we're not going to hear the most wonderful vow ever from a woman to a man, let me close this awesome wedding ceremony by saying may the Lord bless you and keep you and by the power of the Holy Spirit I declare you both man and wife, Shawn Michaels you may now kiss the bride," Pastor Hagee said and Shawn wrapped his arms around Lita, drew her in tight and kissed her with passion and a love he never felt before that came from deep inside his soul and Lita felt it, she felt it so powerfully she left her feet and her red hair switched to blond coloring with HBK's who had turned into a red-head seconds after their lips touched. The church started to warm up and a sweet fragrance filled the sanctuary bringing everyone to their feet and they applauded Shawn and Lita as they kissed finally without Trish pulling them apart. They stopped kissing and looked over each other seeing themselves mirrored in each other's eyes their love in each other's eyes; they realized then and there that they had done it, the had gotten married and made their love official, then they turned to their friends and family and looked at all the happy faces rejoicing in their union under God, Trish and Melina came up to them and kissed them both, Hunter and the Kliq came up afterwards and gave Shawn a group hug while everyone continued to celebrate them.

"Hey that statue of Jesus is moving!" Shelton said pointing to the statue on the groom's side and Krystal noticed that the statue of the Virgin Mary was moving on the bride's side.

"Rebecca?" Shawn said looking closer and it was and she was crying.

"I just had to say congratulations in person and goodbye to my children," she said and Cameron and Cheyenne ran over to her hugging the statue in which she was appearing, "Don't worry guys you're in good hands," Rebecca said looking at Lita, "Come here darling the Lord wanted me to tell you something," she said and the blushing bride and her new husband came over to the divine apparition who frowned when they stood in front of her, "Did I say Shawn? No I didn't, take Cheyenne and Cameron back over there this is between us girls," she said and everyone laughed recognizing the attitude that made Rebecca oh so popular at parties but Shawn didn't budge.

"I wanna hear what you've got to say," Shawn said defiantly and Trish pulled Shawn back explaining that this was really a girl thing and told him to trust her.

"I hope you can put up with his stubbornness better than I did, I don't have anything to tell you, my Lord and Savior told me to touch your stomach," Rebecca told Lita who looked puzzled.

"Why?" she asked and Rebecca touched her stomach and Lita felt something move, "I felt something move, what did you do?" she asked startled by Rebecca's touch.

"I gave you the gift of fertility, good luck tomorrow night, if all goes well you'll be pregnant by Monday morning," Rebecca explained and Lita jumped for joy and ran up the isle grabbed Trish and Melina and they jumped up and down knowing what Rebecca had just imparted to their Anointed sister in Christ.

"What did you do?" Shawn asked Rebecca's spirit but the Virgin Mary was a statue now and Rebecca ascended Heaven leaving Shawn really curious and he ran back to Lita and waited for her to calm down before asking what had gotten her so happy.

"You know I feel kind of bad that my wife did something to get that kind of reaction out of her," Shawn told his best man who scratched his beard wondering what was going on with the statue of Jesus on the groom's side, it was moving, "I have to top that now, trust Rebecca to make my first night of love-making a competition," he said rolling his eyes as Hunter continued to stare at the statue of Jesus, "Hunter are you listening to me?"

"JESUS!" Hunter cried suddenly.

"Where?" Shawn said spinning around and there He was and everyone fell to their knees except Shawn who was in total awe of the King of Kings who came over to him, pressed His hand on Shawn's shoulder and said,

"Well done my son, well done," and disappeared leaving Shawn feeling more blessed than he had ever felt in his life and everyone got up of the ground and looked at the statue again but Jesus was long gone.

"Where'd he go?" MVP asked looking around for the King of Kings.

"Back home," Trish said coming over to the Heartbreak Kid, "Do you feel the power of the Holy Spirit in your body?" she asked him and Shawn looked at her figuring she knew what Rebecca had done to Lita.

"Yes I do," he replied his voice softened by the anointing the Son of God just put on him.

"Then relax, you're gonna be just fine," Trish said implicitly and gave HBK a wink before going back to the Big Red bride who had run all over the church a Congo line forming behind her as she celebrated her marriage and the wedding present God gave her and Shawn.

"Okay everybody out, time for cake, I took the liberty of ordering a ferry ride to Santa Monica, I think you guys will recognize it," Matt Hardy said and everybody poured out of the small church to the dock where a huge ferry painted metallic green and purple with DX, ATM and Team Xtreme tagged all over it. Shawn and Lita watched as their friends and family climbed all aboard the DX to the Extreme V.2, the first one having sunk yesterday in Ocean Beach, hopefully this one wouldn't suffer the same end as there was a lot of food and dessert to be eaten over at Melina and Nitro's house not to mention a big five tier wedding cake which the children and Stephanie intended to devour immediately.

Lita looked Shawn up and down, "Did I forget to tell you how sexy you look in your country and western wedding get up baby?" Lita said to her husband who pulled her into another soul shaking kiss, Lita was about to wrap her arms around him and draw him in to extend it when she felt the bouquet still hanging from her fingers.

"Throw it Lita!" Layla from Extreme Expose cried as all the Divas spotted it and started pushing and shoving each other to get it, Lita shook her head praying that they didn't take this as a reason to get married.

"Girls stop please this is just a superstition it doesn't mean you have to kill each other, the Whore of Babylon proved that we had to stick together, don't fall back into disgrace for a bunch of flowers, enjoy being single, be girls, have fun, I know I did!" she said and the Divas nodded embarrassed by their childish behavior.

"What happens when the groom throws the bouquet?" Shawn asked his Big Red wife who shrugged.

"I guess its never been done before," she said and handed Shawn the bouquet as he reached out to her hand, he saw Ashley looking down at her feet miserably while all the other girls shunned her, he prayed over the flowers and threw them in Ashley's direction while the other girls weren't looking and she caught them and her face lit up like a candelabra.

"I love you Shawn!" she cried and ran over to the DX to the Xtreme V.2 and got on board while Extreme Expose, Michelle McCool, Gillian Hall, Victoria, Torrie and Candice stomped their feet angrily on the sandy pavement wondering why Shawn hadn't thrown the beautiful bouquet to them.

"You're amazing," Lita said hugging Shawn loving looking up into his ocean blue eyes, his heart still swimming in the Holy Spirit.

"You have no idea," he said counting down the hours til he made love to his Big Red baby doll and brought Heaven down to Earth for both to enjoy all night long not knowing what joy was gonna come the morning after, the newlyweds kissed and ran aboard the ferry which everyone had Christened the Love Boat in honor of the bride and groom.

In Loving Memory of the Sensational Sherri Martel who passed away yesterday morning, RIP.


	40. Saying I'm Sorry With Your Mouth Full

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece?

Chapter Forty - Saying "I'm Sorry" With Your Mouth Full

Santa Monica pier, around 4pm:

The wedding was over but the party was just getting started, thousands of fans and regular people clamored around the pier eager to see the new bride and Lita was a sight to be seen, Shawn couldn't remember the last time she looked so beautiful as the DX to the Extreme V.2 docked on Santa Monica pier and all the wrestlers jumped off into a sea of screaming fans and news anchors.

"Come on everybody, Lita off the boat let's go!" Hunter said ushering the bride and groom front and center so everyone could see them which Shawn didn't understand.

"I thought you said you didn't wanna do any meet and greet over the weekend?" he asked his best friend who was smiling like a Cheshire cat.

"Don't you see sweetie he wants to capture the moment," Lita said squeezing Shawn lovingly as more fans clamored together to take more pictures, especially now that Shawn was looking at Lita like he'd just fallen in love with her all over again, the wrestling media were in a frenzy, the chat rooms were blowing up with image after image of Shawn and Lita kissing in Tijuana, then San Diego, then finally Santa Monica where the wedding reception would be taking place, only problem was all the fans were stopping everyone from getting to Melina and Nitro's house.

LC and friends were growing impatient; there was a 5 tier wedding cake with Shawn and Lita's name on it waiting to be devoured and they were stuck in yet another autograph session.

"Shawn can't you lose your smile or something again? Maybe then these fans will back down," Stephanie suggested pulling Jericho through the crowd to the beach which too was loaded with fans.

HBK shrugged, he knew there was no way after being kicked out of Tijuana the fans were going away this time, "Might as well go with the flow Steph, these fans aren't going anywhere," he said with Lita wrapped around him smiling for another group of screaming girls. Lita looked over at the sea of lipstick and skin tight tees realizing that she wasn't one of them anymore, she wasn't a Shawn Michaels fan, she was Shawn Michaels' wife and that gave her a buzz no McMahon promo could kill.

"Okay guys, listen up," Lita said turning to Trish and Melina, "We might as well face it, we can't say no to our fans, lets just have a block party right here on Santa Monica beach," she said and her sisters and Christ agreed that it was the only solution, Shawn couldn't stop laughing at the horrified look on Steph and Hunter's face.

"You want us to party with the unwashed public?" Stephanie said and Shawn frowned at her.

"You don't have to, but I don't mind, do you Hunter?" he asked the other half of DX who sighed looking around at the MFers, Kennedy, Cena Sucks and All Hail King Bookah signs.

"I'm down with you Mr. Dumbass," Hunter replied and Shawn laughed until he caught the insult on Lita's last name.

"Hey that's Dumas, the 'S' is silent," Lita mom retaliated and her daughter told her to ignore Triple H, "I'll go back to Melina and Nitro's and get the food," her mom said and gave Lita a kiss, "Congratulations Amy, I knew you'd settle down some day,"

"Thanks mom I love you for always believing in me, unlike him," Lita said remembering her father's evil heart and hatred of her but her mother's loving smile broke through that ugly memory.

"I'll come with you," Vicky Guerrero said and Mrs. Dumas looked over at Edge's mom who was still pissed that it wasn't her son that got married instead of Shawn.

"Come on mom cheer up, I'll get married again someday," Edge said trying to make her feel better but Judy was very disappointed.

"I'm sorry sweetie I just don't see why Lita couldn't marry you, you're better looking than HBK and you're my son and you deserve the best," Judy Copeland said and Lita smiled at her.

"I'm really touched that you want me to be your daughter in law so bad Judy," she said, "but Edge and I are still friends, he's always going to be part of my life no matter who I'm married to,"

Hunter and Shawn looked at each other and Randy Orton rolled his eyes knowing what they were thinking, "Guys please, now is not the time," he said as Shawn and Hunter went into full DX mode.

Shawn put his arm around Edge and Hunter put his arm around Lita pulling her to one side with Chyna and the Kliq while Shawn rubbed Edge the wrong way.

"If you even think you're gonna pull a Lita and sleep with her behind my back like she did to you, well then Edge I've just got two words for you," Shawn said and the fans roared in unison:

"SUCK IT!"

Edge growled at the DX army of fans, "Shut up!" he snapped and the fans laughed, "Oh yeah I forgot, the band I got to sing at your reception are on their way to Melina and Nitro's house," he told Shawn who totally forgot about the band as well.

"Who did you get Shakira?" he asked excitedly, "Is it Shakira?" he asked again excitedly, "Please say its Shakira,"

"It's not Shakira," Edge said irritated by Shawn's love of the Columbian hottie, "Its Alter Bridge, a real band,"

"What?" Shawn spat enraged, "You got the band that sings your theme music to play at my wedding reception?"

"Yeah," Edge smiled, "Now who's laughing bitch?" he said and Lita sank into Trish and Melina and Shawn tackled Edge to the sand and they rolled down the beach to the water while the fans looked on in horror.

"Break it up you guys!" Trish said running over to them with TKO and Matt Hardy while Hunter looked for his little assassin.

"LC I got an idea how we can fix this," he said finding Lisa with Cameron, Chey and the gang from Karate Kamp over by the board walk who were shaking their heads in disapproval as Cam and Chey's father and Lita's ex-fiancé made jackasses of themselves on such a special day and in front of their fans and media people.

"Relax dad, I already fixed it, meet Troy, Jay and Shane, better known to those who know as The Luchagors," LC said introducing the three men standing behind her.

"Lita's band The Luchagors?" Hunter said shaking each band member's hand, "I thought you broke up over creative differences?"

"Yeah we weren't down with the whole Anointing thing," Shane said.

"Yeah, it kinda freaked us out, we're a punk rock band you know, we don't do Christian rock," Troy added.

"Then we got a call from LC and she said Edge was gonna get Alter Bridge to play at Lita's wedding reception, we couldn't let that happen to our girl man, Alter Bridge suck!" Jay said and Hunter, Chyna and LC agreed.

"They sure do, so what are you gonna play? You can't do your own stuff Lita won't go for it, God won't approve," Chyna asked and Shane, Jay and Troy smiled at each other mischievously.

"Oh we think she's gonna like what we've got planned, right LC?" Troy said ruffling LC's hair, a little too roughly for Cameron's liking.

"Hey easy on my girl's hair Roy," Cameron said defiantly.

"Um its Troy actually," Troy said.

"That's what I said, Roy," Cameron retaliated his Michaels attitude kicking in and Hunter and Chyna tried not to laugh as the little man got up in Lita's drummer's face.

"You wanna go let's go!" Cameron yelled and Hunter picked him up and carried him over to his father.

"Easy now little man," Hunter said trying to keep Cameron down while LC looked on fondly.

"That's my little man," she smiled adoringly while Carla, Chey, Cassidy and Charlene rubbed their bellies wanting some cake but it was Stephanie McMahon who was salivating the most.

"Come on what's the hold up?" she said impatiently and Jericho looked at her taking off his shades.

"Are you okay Princess?" he asked concerned.

"No I'm starving I haven't eaten a thing all day," Stephanie replied irritably.

"You had two breakfast burritos and a subway sandwich before we left Tijuana," Cassidy reminded her.

"Yeah so, what are you my personal trainer, back off shorty," Stephanie hissed and Carla looked at her biological father who too knew that something was wrong.

"What the Hell was in that burrito?" Jericho wondered scratching his head.

"It wasn't the burrito," Marianne said coming over with her sister Marjorie concerned, "This is a demonic manifestation attacking her belly, it attacked Marjorie on New Years Eve and it attacked Mr. McMahon that same night remember Stephanie?"

"Shut up you don't know what you're talking about, I need cake somebody get me some cake right now!" Stephanie roared and Jericho realized M&M were right, he ran over to the only person who could help her even though he was the last person he really wanted to speak to.

"Hunter quick, Stephanie's being attacked by a belly demon she needs you!" he cried to Stephanie's ex husband.

"Sorry Jericho I'm a little busy here!" Hunter replied trying to separate Shawn and Edge who were still fighting, "Steph's your problem now, deal with it junior,"

Jericho's snarled at Hunter but the Billion Dollar Princess soon got her ex-husband's attention when she let out a monstrous growl scaring all the fans away from the beach. Stephanie had grown into a hideous walrus type creature, she was freaking huge and the cameras were all on her.

"Stephanie!" Hunter cried out, Aurora thought it was funny and shook her rattle with glee, "Come on Ro-Ro work your magic for mommy, do something make her laugh!" he said to his baby girl but Ro-Ro could only laugh, whatever demonic spirit that was attacking her mother could not be stopped by her supernatural weather altering powers. ATM ran over to Jericho who was yelling at Stephanie to stop.

"What's happening to my princess?" Jericho asked the angelic trio frantically.

"I'll tell you what's happening to your princess, she bit off more than she could chew and now she's paying for it," Trish said who was always the calmest when everyone else was freaking out, the Truth had that effect on her.

"What are you talking about Stratus?" Jericho asked confused.

"I'm talking about the cake your precious Billion Dollar Princess devoured before the wedding, the one Vince and Shane poisoned hoping Shawn would be the one to devour it so they could get their revenge on him for not inviting them to the wedding," Trish answered and Lita and Melina looked at Trish in horror.

"Stephanie ate my entire wedding cake?" Lita said in disbelief.

"All 5 tiers of it, remember the demon that attached itself to me and Melina on New Years Eve when we had that pie eating contest?" Trish explained.

"But I vanquished it," Lita said.

"And Vince and Shane brought it back to life using Stephanie as bait," Trish explained and Lita and Melina felt like they were gonna throw up.

"So how do we get rid of it for good?" Melina said and now it was Trish's turn to turn her nose up.

"That's the worst part," she said, "You have to lay hands on her and when you do, the demon will flee,"

"That sounds just about right, what's the problem?" Melina asked confused.

"I know what the problem with that is," Lita said as Trish nodded that she had figured it out, "Once you cast out the demon, Stephanie's gonna throw up all over us isn't she?"

Trish nodded regretfully, "Yup,"

Lita and Melina sighed, "Okay but I'm only doing this because I want some of it to go on Shawn, then I can clean him off if you know what I mean," Lita said raising her eyebrow suggestively and Trish and Melina smiled knowing exactly what she meant.

"This is a dirty job but somebody's gotta do it, come on Mel make with the miracle!" Trish said and Melina laid her hands on Stephanie's bloated body.

"Come out of her demon, I release you from the devil's grip in Jesus' name, Stephanie McMahon, you are healed!" Melina cried and Stephanie threw up all over ATM, ruining the wedding and bridesmaid dresses completely much to Shawn, Carlito and Randy's distress but that distress didn't last long as ATM began to undress.

"Blind them Ro-Ro!" Shawn cried out to his god daughter who sent blinding wind to stop everyone from staring at the naked angelic trio, once naked they ran into the beach to clean themselves off. As they did so a light hit the water and St. Michaels, TKO and El Con Dios watched as Jeff Hardy descended from Heaven onto the water's surface.

"Whoa Jeff you can walk on water!" Carlito cried out as the Charismatic Enigma appeared fully restored holding three robes in his arms, one for Trish, one for Melina and one for the woman of the hour, Amy Dumbass Michaels. Each robe was hooded and inscribed with their initials.

"God told me to give each one of you a robe to remember how special you are to His work here on Earth," Jeff explained handing each woman a robe, he took a white cross from out of his pocket which was loaded with Skittles and handed it to Shawn, "This is from Rebecca," he said to the sugary side of DX, "To replace the old one, I guess its her way of saying get a life and move on,"

Shawn smiled and kissed Jeff, his Kiss of Life curing Jeff of what The Undertaker had put on him; instantly Jeff was free from the spirit of witchcraft and saw the light and the many beautiful Divas that were currently blinded by Hurricane Aurora. Shawn took off his old cross and put on the new one.

"Thank you Jesus," he said.

You're welcome the King of Kings said back and the light disappeared along with the wind that had temporarily blinded everyone to what was going on between Heaven and Earth where ATM and their Heavenly helpers were concerned.

"Whoa Jeff you're back!" Matt Hardy said coming over to his brother and hugging him lovingly to his chest, he looked down and jumped back in fright noticing that his brother was walking on water.

"Wait Jeff you got a gift from God too?" Nitro said jealously and everyone marveled as Jeff moon-walked over the water's surface.

"Yeah, Jesus said since I sacrificed myself for someone else and He enjoyed having my company so much, He thought he'd give me something cool to show off with, watch this," Jeff said and did a back-flip on the water landing on the surface like a cat. The Divas gasped in awe of the Charismatic Enigma.

"That was amazing," Kelly Kelly said.

"Totally awesome," Layla added.

"That was out of this world Jeff I'm so glad your back safe," Ashley said coming over to him and giving him a hug taking Jeff off guard and he sank into the water.

"What happened to my gift from God?" Jeff asked Lita who looked at Shawn the Anointed Couple knew what happened.

"You can only walk on water by yourself, you go back to normal when you're with a girl you like," Lita explained with a cheeky grin and Ashley blushed.

"You like me?" she asked Jeff who nodded and the other Divas pouted jealously and pulled Ashley back by her hair.

"There's only one Diva that's gonna be with Jeff Hardy and you're looking at her," Kelly Kelly said and Torrie Wilson knocked her to one side.

"No I'm gonna be Jeff Hardy's first girlfriend," she said firmly then Mickie James knocked her down and Krystal stepped in before the bitch-slapping and hair-pulling began.

"Ladies, ladies this is getting us nowhere, there's only one way to settle things where the WWE Divas are concerned and that's with a Diva Dance off," she said and all the Divas started stretching and getting ready for the competition to be Jeff Hardy's first girlfriend. Matt Hardy rolled his eyes as his brother blushed on account of all the Diva love and looked down at Stephanie who was rubbing her stomach while Jericho washed the vomit out of her hair.

"What did I miss?" Jeff asked offering his brother one of his Skittles.

"Not much, just Stephanie eating a poisoned 5 tier wedding cake that her brother and father poisoned hoping DX would eat it," Matt explained.

Stephanie wailed, "Nobody say cake!" she cried angrily ready to wail on her father and brother as soon as the wedding reception was over, "Are those Skittles Jeff?" she said noticing the colorful candies in Jeff's hands.

"Yup, you want some?" Jeff asked her and Stephanie nodded but Jericho shoved Jeff back as Stephanie threw up some more cake.

"Look Ro-Ro, that's your mother isn't she everything like her father? A total disgrace!" Hunter said to Aurora who laughed and said something that sounded like SUCK IT but only with an F.

"Aurora what did you say?" Stephanie asked her daughter who said it again and everyone laughed while Jericho tried to calm the Billion Dollar Princess down before she threw up again, whoops too late.

"Stephanie you're still throwing up, if I didn't know better I'd say you were pregnant again," Hunter said and Jericho and Stephanie looked at Trish who had that look on her face that said she knew something that they didn't know.

"No way," Shawn said to The Truth who was smiling from ear-to-ear.

"Remember that dispute I mentioned over the third member of the new ATM in the Heavenlies, about how its going to be Aurora, Cheyenne and one more? Well it turns out the dispute is between Stephanie's second baby and Lita's first, whoever God chooses gets to be the third member of the new ATM,"

Lita looked at Stephanie who looked at Jericho who looked at the vomit on his new pletha pants.

"If our baby is chosen can God give him or her the power to dry clean?" he responded and Stephanie apologized to everyone for eating Lita and Shawn's wedding cake.

"I'm sorry guys, I just can't say no to cake or sex with Chris Jericho first thing in the morning," she said and Hunter rolled his eyes wondering why his ex-wife always tried to have her cake and eat it too.


	41. Money In the Bank

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece?

Chapter Forty One - Money In the Bank

At Melina and Nitro's house, Mrs. Dumas, Mrs. Copeland and Mrs. Guerrero and her daughters Shaul, Sherilyn and Kaylee Marie were helping Melina bring the food out to the beach for Shawn and Lita's WWWR (Worldwide Wrestling Wedding Reception) as dubbed by all three members of DX. Lita loved the title but she didn't love the reception Shawn gave her band when he saw them coming towards him.

"He laughed at Lita's band?" Vicky asked Melina who was filling her in on the latest newlywed drama down at the beach.

"He thought they were vagrants, he thought they were homeless people, he even offered them food and a place to stay," Melina explained and the mothers all started laughing, "Lita felt so bad, she didn't even see the humor in the whole thing, you should have seen Shawn's face when he found out who they were,"

"I bet Edge is rubbing it in," Mrs. Dumas said giving Judy a wary look as the four women left to head back to the drama now known as All My Wrestling Children.

"Could you blame him? Shawn singing lead in Lita's punk rock band? How absurd!" Judy exclaimed.

"I think it's cute!" Melina argued, "Lita's gonna love having Shawn sing her own song to her,"

"What's the name of the song is he going to sing again?" Vicky Guerrero asked.

"When I Get You Alone, she sang it on WWE Originals a few years ago," Melina answered and the ladies cooed amorously, "And Shawn knows how that feels, he's been trying to get Lita alone since they fell in love,"

The four women thought over the last few days and what a rollercoaster they had been getting Shawn and Lita to that little church in Tijuana.

"When I get married I want it to be to a guy like Shawn Michaels," Shaul said dreamily and Sherilyn agreed, Kaylee Marie wasn't so big on HBK, she was more into John Cena like Charlene.

"Someone who takes care of you when everyone else has turned their back on you," Sherilyn said.

"Someone who loves you even though your not the mother of his children," Vicky Guerrero added.

"Someone who has over $10 million dollars in the bank," Mrs. Copeland said, "Oh wait, that's my son Edge,"

Mrs. Dumas rolled her eyes and The Guerreros laughed, Melina furrowed her brow in confusion, "Edge has $10 million dollars in the bank?" he asked Edge's mom.

"He sure does, where do you think Jericho came up with the name Money In the Bank? It was from my baby's fabulous bank account," Judy said proudly.

"But if Edge has over $10 million dollars in the bank, why did he ask Vince McMahon to give Lita's dad $1 million dollars to walk Lita down the isle at their wedding? Why didn't he just pay him the $1 million dollars himself?" Melina asked and Vicky and Lita's mom looked at Judy for an answer but she didn't have one.

"I don't know," she said confused herself now, "I should ask him,"

Melina frowned, it seemed that Edge had been a little creative where his bank account was concerned and his mother had believed him.

"And I thought Stephanie's pregnancy was the last bit of drama to come out today," she sighed, "The drama continues!" she said as Judy marched over to her son who was still laughing at Shawn for thinking The Luchagors were beggars.

"Shut up Adam!" Shawn yelled as The Luchagors set up getting ready to perform the song for Lita from Shawn, the white robed red-head was still thinking how this was going to sound.

"Shawn you don't have to sing if you don't want to, I mean this is my band, not Garth Brooks," Lita said and Shawn titled his cowboy hat to one side and smiled.

"I want to sing to my beautiful bride and I'm going to sing this song you wrote, now granted, I can't sing - but I love you and I want you to know how much even if I end up embarrassing myself in front of the world and all my friends and family," Shawn said and Jeff Hardy applauded him.

"That is so romantic, my brother never would have done that," he said and Matt Hardy scowled at his younger brother.

"Shouldn't you be judging the Diva Dance Off right about now?" Matt asked mockingly and Jeff rolled his eyes as the Divas continued to argue over who got to go out with him first.

"I think they're still warming up," Jeff said finding the whole thing really sad but still he couldn't help but feel like a jock instead of a nerd for once, "Now I know how John Cena feels, wait why am I happy about that?" he thought scratching his chin.

"Excuse me ladies, I'm about to sing to my lovely new wife and I would like you to stop fighting, stop pulling each other's hair out and listen, thank you," Shawn said taking off his cowboy hat and coat, handing both to his best man who was going red with embarrassment already.

"Shawn you can't sing don't do this, do the Diva Dance Off instead, show Lita your love through the power of dance, that's where you really shine!" Hunter begged his best friend in the whole world but HBK wouldn't hear it, he got up on the stage The Kliq had erected for HBK and The Luchagors, Shawn took the microphone in his hand and everyone broke into applause and chants of "HBK! HBK! HBK!"

Lita felt so good just seeing him up there with her band who had abandoned her when she became a Christian and now her Christian husband was singing with them to her even though he couldn't sing; to Lita, that was her idea of romance and a declaration of his unconditional love for her.

The familiar riff hit and the fans went crazy but the frenzy died down when the music suddenly died and The Luchagors looked around to see what happened, then they saw the guitarist from Alter Bridge holding the lead to the speakers in his hand, Alter Bridge were pissed that they weren't singing at Shawn and Lita's wedding as promised by the Rated R Superstar and they were stopping The Showstoppa's showstopping performance before it even got started.

"Edge what is going on here, why did you invite the poor man's Creed to play at Big L's wedding?" Shane asked Edge who scowled in defense of his favorite band, Shawn was scowling too but for a different reason.

"Her name's not Big L, its Big Red, in fact its sweetheart, isn't that right sweetheart?" Shawn said to his new wife who was blushing like nobody's business; his sweetheart she obviously was.

"Edge tell your stupid band to get off the stage so Shawn can sing to me," Lita told Edge who pulled his hair behind his ears in a rage and was about to demonstrate when his mother slapped him around the head.

"Ow mom what the Hell?" Edge asked turning around bewildered by his mother's actions.

"How much money do you have left in the bank son?" Judy asked her baby boy who frowned looking nervous all of a sudden.

"I don't know about $8,000," Edge said and both Lita and Judy gasped.

"What happened to the $10 million dollars you had saved up?" Judy asked beside herself, "You said you weren't gonna touch that money until you raised a family!"

"I decided to destroy a dynasty instead," Edge replied and his mother frowned confused so Edge explained further, "I gave the money to Shawn so he could sue The McMahons and take over ownership of the WWE and still have enough money left over to look after my lovely lady Lita, his children and the one Lita's gonna give him," Edge replied and everyone turned to the Rated R Superstar astonished by what he just disclosed, most of all Matt and Jeff Hardy.

"You gave Lita and Shawn all your money?" Matt said coming over to his arch enemy with an admiration he lost a long time ago for his old friend.

Edge nodded, "I believe in love I believe that Shawn loves Lita and I believe that it will be worth the matches I'll have to have to earn that money back to see her happy," he said and Hunter shook his hand.

"You know we could afford to sue that rich bastard ourselves, you really care about what happens to Lita don't you?" Hunter asked Edge impressed with his generosity.

Edge looked over at his ex-fiancé, "I always have and I always will, but I know she's better off in your hands now, take care of my Rated R Red Head," Edge said to Hunter and Chyna who nodded that they would and from that moment on the WWE Superstars and TNA wrestlers had a new respect for Edge and his Big Red Heart, that was except his mom who was disgusted by his gullibility.

"How are you going to get that money back Adam? By putting yourself through more tables, ladders and chairs for the rest of your career? You keep going down this path and your not gonna live to see 60!" Judy complained worried about her son's future but Edge put his hand on her shoulder and gave it a squeeze.

"That's the life of a WWE Superstar mom, we live on the edge and I wouldn't have it any other way, have faith mom, after all I've got ATM on my side," Edge reassured her but that was easier said than done.

"What about after ATM disband? God said He's going to turn them back to normal this Sunday, that means no more miraculous healing, truth telling abilities or anointing, what then Adam what then?" His mother panicked and Edge looked at Trish who as usual was the calm, cool and collected voice of reason when everyone else was freaking out.

"Hebrews 11:1 says, "Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen" and verse 6 says, "without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that he is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him," Have faith Mrs. Copeland and you will see that blessings that are on your son's life because of the size of his heart and the faith therein,"

"What the Hell does that mean?" Judy exclaimed dropping the all the fish and rice on the sand much to Vicky and Lita's mom's annoyance.

"It means he's never gonna be broke okay? Gees!" Mrs. Dumas said picking up the fish.

"He's blessed Judy, Edge is gonna be fine," Vicky Guerrero said and gave Judy a kiss on the cheek, "Now, who wants substitute wedding cake?"

"Me, me, me!" Carla McCool yelled along with her friends Charlene, Cassidy and LC who ran over to Mrs. Eddie Guerrero who was holding a cake loaded with strawberries and cream ready for all to enjoy, it was one of 5 cakes Vicky had prepared with her daughters in celebration of Shawn and Lita's wedding.

"Wait Shawn and Lita have to cut it first, come on guys get over here!" Mrs. Dumas called to her daughter and son-in-law. Judy looked at her son who pulled her close and smiled at her reassuringly.

"I can't believe you gave them everything you had," she said still dazed by her son's actions, Edge glanced over at Shawn and Lita who were about to cut the first of their 5 wedding cakes with all their friends, family and fans watching.

"All the money in the world couldn't buy love like that mom," Edge said and Judy wiped a tear from her eye and they hugged, "I'm gonna be okay you'll see, don't worry about me,"

Judy nodded through her tears, she knew he was going to be okay deep down inside she just needed a little more faith in her Rated R Superstar and his Big Red Heart.

Stephanie McMahon wiped her eyes with one of Jericho's handkerchiefs after watching a little over on the side of the beach after Trish demanded she not come near food for the rest of the night, "If I gave away all my money would you still be with me?" she asked the Ayatollah of Rock N'Rolla.

"No," Jericho replied and Stephanie laughed, "I'm just being honest," Jericho said in his own defense and Stephanie nodded rubbing her rounding stomach, "I love money and I won't live without it, that's who am I am and I'm proud of it,"

"I know you are baby, that's what I love about you," she said and they kissed on the sand while Shawn and Lita kissed with their mouth full of wedding cake, everyone rejoiced in their love eager for the music to begin so they could watch Shawn declare his love for Lita by singing to her very badly and the Divas could win Jeff Hardy's heart and burn off the calories from the fabulous cake they were all devouring at the same-time, all except the Billion Dollar Princess of course who had eaten quite enough cake already and wasn't desperate to eat anymore for a while.


	42. Night of 1000 Dance Moves

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece?

Chapter Forty Two - Night of 1000 Dance Moves

**_A/N: Song featured is taken from WWE Originals._**

Santa Monica Beach, 7pm.

Shawn Michaels took the mic and broke out into song with The Luchagors behind him, his audience of fans, friends and family were in shock that he remembered to come in on cue.

"1-2-3 let's go - ow!" he opened and the opening bars of Lita's "When I Get You Alone" broke out over the beach and everyone went into a frenzy.

_All alone in my bed tonight  
I find myself dreaming of all the things I might  
Do to you, and do for me behind closed doors where nobody else will see_

_I know when I get you alone  
There's gonna be trouble  
Just hope that I won't lose control  
I'll have you seeing double_

_Fantasies and dangerous dreams  
All have my head spinning in a world of schemes  
What to do when it's up to me to  
Take you places you have never seen_

_I know when I get you alone  
There's gonna be trouble  
Just hope that I won't lose control  
I'll have you seeing double_

_I know when I get you (repeat x4)_

_All of my life they told me I'm wrong  
I thought they were right, but then you came along  
I finally believe, and now I can see  
I was right all along, and it brought you to me_

Shawn pulled Lita up onto the stage and sang to her, "There's no way around it now," and squeezed her hand warmly and Lita felt her heart race and Shawn smiled at her lovingly, "See this is the part when you know you're in trouble," he continued as the beat went on and Lita blushed even harder, "I love you Amy," he said finally and kissed her before jumping in the air and crashing onto the stage before singing the final chorus:

_I know when I get you alone  
There's gonna be trouble  
Just hope that I won't lose control  
I'll have you seeing double_

_I know when I get you (repeat x4)_

Shane brought the song home and the show finished to an earthquake of applause especially from Lita who it was dedicated to.

"That was awesome!" she cried throwing herself into HBK's arms and hugging him lovingly never wanting to let him go, "I love you so much!" she said and Shawn kissed her as everyone continued to cheer for him to sing some more.

"HBK! HBK! HBK!" everyone roared.

"That was terrible!" Triple H said humorously.

"Boring!" Kevin Nash yelled.

"Get off the stage!" Scott Hall yelled, Lita and Shawn stood side by side and said, "SUCK IT!" then continued to suck face as The Luchagors tore into "Break It Down!" DX's theme tune and LC grabbed the mic and started singing the song along with Carla, Cassidy and Charlene.

"I still say Alter Bridge should have played Amy, you're a Christian they're Christians did I miss something or are your band skull-bashing metal heads?" Edge complained getting up on the stage and the fans started to boo as soon as he got up there, "SHUT UP!" he said and the fans started to chant "EDGE SUCKS!" really loudly so loud that they drowned out LC's singing and the Lil assassin took exception to that and turned to the Rated R Superstar furiously.

"Stop hogging the spotlight you Rated R reject, get off the stage or I'm gonna have my daddy throw you off," LC warned him.

Edge crossed his arms and smirked cockily, "I would love to see him try," he said and LC gave Hunter the Evolution thumbs down nodding toward Edge and Hunter, Chyna and XPac climbed up on the stage closing in on Edge who started to get nervous.

"Okay calm down, this is a wedding celebration you guys, I'm just goofing around calm down were not at work!" he told DX and Shawn and Lita started to laugh.

"I still say kick his ass," LC said into the microphone and the crowd agreed.

"Let's ask the man and woman of the hour, Shawn Lita, should we kick Edge's ass?" Hunter asked Mr. and Mrs. "Dumbass" Michaels, they said no and the fans booed.

"I didn't say ya'll couldn't throw him off the stage," Shawn added and Hunter and Chyna grabbed Edge and threw him into the large crowd that had gathered to see their favorite wrestlers, Edge surfed over the fans loving every second of it, it was just like being at a rock concert. Triple H looked on noticing how much fun the Rated R Superstar was having and pouted,

"He's not suffering he's having fun, well two can play that game, get it game, I'm The Game and I said "Two can play that game," pretty funny huh?" Hunter asked Chyna who rolled her eyes at her boyfriend, grabbed him by his dress shirt and threw him into the sea of rabid wrestling fans and regular people who caught him and started tossing him around like a large ping-pong ball.

"Man that looks awesome, I want to mosh too!" Carla McCool said and jumped into the crowd after Uncle Hunter shortly she was followed by Charlene, Cassidy, Brandon, Charlotte and Dan.

"Wait for me!" Cameron said jumping in after them and the little man bumped up and down through the sea of people, Cheyenne was about to follow her brother when Shawn picked her up and blew a raspberry on her exposed belly, then he looked over and saw his lovely lady Lita jump in with Trish and Melina.

"Oh no fair you guys, you're out having fun and I'm stuck with the baby, if this is how our marriage is gonna go Lita I want a divorce!" he yelled out to his wife humorously.

"No way Jose you're married 4 life, just like the Kliq," Lita replied and Hall and Nash took Cheyenne from her father and pushed Shawn into the crowd and he surfed all the way over to his Big Red sweetheart, "Hey don't I know you from somewhere?" Lita asked him when he bumped over to her and Shawn took her hand and locked his fingers with hers.

"Yeah I'm that guy you just married," Shawn replied and Lita smiled, together they stopped moshing and kissed in the sea of green and black t shirts, red hair falling over blond, hands caressing hips and lips meeting each other while everyone moshed around them. Shawn and Lita kissed uninterrupted while The Luchagors roared through the last bars of "Break It Down" before bringing the song to its unfortunate end, there was no end in sight for the kiss Shawn and Lita were enjoying though, that was until Jeff and Matt bumped into them separating them from each other like Siamese Twins.

"Enjoy it while it lasts, knowing my ex-girlfriend it probably won't," V.1 said before moshing on after his brother who was handing out Skittles to everyone and Lita stuck her tongue out at him, Shawn took that opportunity to kiss her again, sucking her protruding tongue until she wrapped her arms around him again deepening the kiss and ignoring all the eyes on them and that was a lot, Lita's body was electrified by the kiss and her hands told Shawn it was time to go, HBK flinched as she felt on his booty.

"I get the feeling you've had enough kissing for one night, whad'ya say we get outta here and go make ourselves a baby, or two?" Shawn said in her ear licking the hot lobe in one long stroke then biting it playfully and Lita swooned biting her lip to stop something stupid from falling out of her mouth.

"I'm ready let's go," Lita replied with a wink and Shawn made a valley through the shadow of DX merchandize and Hardy Boyz glow shirts that lit up the Santa Monica pier towards the Hummer H2 waiting on the pier, Randy Orton had given Shawn the keys to his favorite ride since he knew the newlyweds were gonna be leaving pretty soon and there was a first class flight to Jamaica with their names on it.

"Say goodbye to Shawn and Lita everyone!" Randy Orton said on the stage and everybody ran after the departing vehicle which was draped in black and green, multi-colored streamers, "Now for the real entertainment to begin, ladies and gentleman - but especially Jeff Hardy - its time for the Diva Dance Off!" Randy said excitedly and the fans clapped as all the Divas came onto the stage, "Which ever one gets the biggest pop will be Jeff Hardy's first girlfriend, _ever!_" Randy said and Jeff Hardy scowled at him.

"Hey man you don't have to make me sound so lame," the Charismatic Enigma complained getting up on the stage with his brother, "I'm gonna kick your ass TKO,"

"Not until you've gotten some action Hardy Boy, first up we have Krystal Marshall?" Randy Orton frowned as she sauntered onto the stage, "I thought you were with my boy Shelton?"

"I am I just wanted to strut my stuff a little," Krystal said doing a little dance much to the pleasure of the guys in the audience and much to the chagrin of Shelton Benjamin.

"Okay that's enough," Shelton said getting onto the stage to a roar of boos, mostly from the Smackdown roster.

"I'm sorry but this is my girlfriend and she's spoken for, next!" Shelton yelled and Torrie Wilson came out much to Randy's disappointment and Jeff Hardy's horror.

"Torrie aren't you a little old to be competing in the Diva Dance Off?" Jeff Hardy said and the crowd said "ooooh" embarrassed for the Playboy Cover Girl.

"I don't have a choice, I'm a Diva and soon I'll be competing for the Women's title at Wrestlemania, this will be my last chance to act like a total bimbo before I dominate the Women's division now that Trish, Melina and Lita are retired and having babies and getting married and . . . ." Torrie broke off depressed, "I'm so tired of this!" she cried out.

"Tired of what?" Jeff asked confused.

"Tired of being lonely," Torrie said and smiled at Randy Orton who smiled right back.

"You don't have to be lonely if you don't want to be Torrie, you know how I feel, just say you feel the same way and I'll be your man, don't be lonely if you don't have to be," Randy said and the fans cheered while Jeff Hardy scratched his head.

"But Randy's younger than me, what could you possibly see in him?" Jeff asked confused and Matt Hardy whispered something in his little brother's ear, "Oh," Jeff said laughing.

"What did you say to him?" Torrie asked Matt who zipped his mouth and played innocent.

"Lita's not the only one who's gonna get lucky tonight," Randy Orton told Jeff only he said it into the mic and everyone heard him much to Torrie's embarrassment.

"Next!" Matt Hardy said while Randy tried to duck from Torrie's angry slaps, out came Gillian Hall and Jeff gave a deep sigh.

"You're not gonna sing now are you?" Jeff said feeling blue all of a sudden.

"I sure am!" Gillian said taking the mic from Matt who tried to get it back quickly, "In fact I've written my very own song for Shawn and Lita, do you all wanna hear it?" she asked the crowd who gave her a resounding "NO!" but that really didn't help since she was already clearing her throat, "Me-me-me-me-me!" she started and Jeff Hardy sank into a ball and crawled away from her, "I think I'm ready okay?"

"No Gillian please don't sing!" Randy Orton said but it was too late.

"Shawn and Lita fell in love/they fit just like a rubber glove/they are there in the smooth and in the rough/those two just can't get enough, oh!" she screeched and everyone booed her hard including Jeff Hardy who signaled for Randy Orton to introduce the next Diva.

"Here comes Extreme Expose!" Randy said as Layla, Brooke and Kelly Kelly came out and he quickly escorted Gillian Hall off the stage where Britney Spears was gaping at her in horror,

"Oh my God Britney, I'm like your biggest fan that song was inspired by your first album!" Gillian told the pop princess who looked at King Bookah who was laughing at Gillian with Queen Sharmell.

"Tell me she did not just say that?" Britney asked Bookah who tried to stop laughing and put on his royal voice.

"Let's watch some real talent Ms. Spears, shall we?" Bookah replied and Sharmell nodded as Extreme Expose took to the stage ready to show off their moves,

"Finally some Divas who can dance!" she said grateful that Gillian was no longer in the contest.

"Hey!" Krystal objected and Shelton tried to stop her from getting back on the stage.

"You think you can dance better than us?" Layla asked her and Krystal nodded.

"Well show us what you got!" Brooke said as Krystal tried to get up on the stage but Shelton wouldn't let her.

"Let it go baby, the winner gets to be Jeff Hardy's girlfriend could you imagine how awful that would be?" Shelton reasoned and Krystal calmed down.

"Yeah you're right, maybe we can have a private dance later on," she said to Shelton drawing a finger up his chest and the RAW locker room cheered Shelton on as he kissed Krystal right there in front of the wrestling world.

"Shelton! Shelton! Shelton! Shelton!" the RAW guys cheered and Matt Hardy took exception to that and started a Hardy chant that took over the Shelton chant and completely drowned it out.

"Hardy! Hardy! Hardy! Hardy!" the fans chanted and Shelton got hot.

"Chant my name not his name, I'm a much better athlete than Jeff Hardy, what moves he got that I ain't got?" Shelton Benjamin asked jealously.

"I bet you can't walk on water," Matt Hardy answered and Shelton fell silent, he couldn't and that pissed him off even more.

"Fine you may be able to walk on water, but I'm a much better athlete than you, I challenge you to a match on Monday Night RAW, what do you say Charismatic Enigma?" Shelton asked and Jeff Hardy accepted his challenge.

"NO CHANCE IN HELL!" roared the most unwelcome voice of Vincent Kennedy McMahon who was hovering above the stage in a helicopter with a megaphone at his mouth, "All of you get out of here, I want you in Stamford CT, 0800 tomorrow morning!"

The WWE Superstars complained amongst each other, "But we want to see the Diva Dance Off!" MVP complained.

"Yeah we wanna know who Jeff Hardy's first girlfriend is gonna be?" Mr. Kennedy added and Jeff Hardy scowled.

"Can everybody stop saying that?" he said irritated.

"I want everybody on the next flight outta this God forsaken state and in Connecticut by breakfast, do I make myself clear?" Vince roared.

"Sorry Vince I couldn't really hear you, could you speak a little louder?" Hunter said but Vince couldn't hear him.

"What?" he called out and the fans thought he was doing a Stone Cold impression and repeated "WHAT?" much to Vince's chagrin, "SHUT UP!" he snapped and the fans all laughed but Vince was in no laughing mood, "Get closer to the crowd," he told Shane who was flying the helicopter.

"Dad I don't think that's a good idea were pretty low as it is," Shane said.

"Don't argue with me boy just do as I say!" Vince snapped again and Shane drew closer to Santa Monica Beach forcing the huge crowd to scatter.

"Are you ready?" Hunter said to Aurora who shook her rattle and instantly the blades of the helicopter froze and The McMahons came crashing down to the ground and everyone started laughing. Hunter leaned over the frozen Chairman who was stuck to the passenger seat while Shane and Linda were frozen next to him.

"In case you forgot Vince, DX runs things now," Hunter said to the former owner of the WWE, "And since this is a WWE helicopter I think I'm entitled to it,"

"Ur-hum," Chyna said clearing her throat and Hunter corrected himself.

"I mean we're entitled to it," Hunter said indicating Chyna, LC and Ro-Ro who was blowing bubbles which turned into hail stones, "And if you're not down with that, Santa Monica's got two words for ya!"

SUCK IT!" everyone roared.

"On with the show!" Hunter demanded and the fans starting cheering and chanting "DX!" at the top of their lungs and the Diva Dance Off continued long into the night and into the early hours of the morning. By 2am Jeff had chosen a winner but a riot ensued over the result and the Diva Dance Off turned into a Diva Battle Royale.

"How could you choose Ashley she released the Whore of Babylon!" Victoria demanded.

"Yeah she nearly killed us!" Mickie James added.

"She can't even dance!" Layla added but Jeff couldn't say anything to calm the Divas down and they continued to attack each other.

"Jeff make them stop!" Ashley said cowering behind the Charismatic Enigma.

"And get my only decent shirt ripped I don't think so!" Jeff replied then he had an idea, "I've got an idea!" he said and told the fans to start clapping and they did, "Play the Hardy Boyz theme song guys," he told The Luchagors who picked up their instruments and started playing the intoxicating theme tune. Jeff took center stage and started dancing and all the girls went nuts, including the Divas who joined in and pretty soon they forgot about killing Ashley who stood by Matt watching as her new boyfriend danced his heart out for the fans, for the Divas and for her.

"Thank you Shawn," she said to herself smiling into the bouquet that Shawn had blessed before throwing it to her, "This wouldn't have happened if you didn't forgive me for releasing the Whore of Babylon, Lita's a very lucky lady,"

That was a fact and Lita was getting extremely lucky right now. . .


	43. The Sweetest Thing

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: M

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece?

WARNING: This chapter contains graphic sexual content and is rated M.

Chapter Forty Three - The Sweetest Thing

Kingston, JA, Sunday morning, 6:43am

The beach was clear the air was warm and the sky was as blue as the Showstoppa's eyes, the greatest thing about spending the day in Jamaica to Lita was spending it with him. The man had never looked better which gave Lita all the more reason to justify what they were about to do.

"I think we're finally alone," Shawn said looking around and making sure the coast was clear and all the other Honeymooners had gone to bed, he pulled Lita towards him but she pushed him away and ran into the sparkling water knowing HBK would chase after her. She removed her Anointed gown and stood naked before him, her red hair draped over her shoulders her warm smile brightening up the already sun-soaked horizon of the beautiful island that was Jamaica.

"Wow," Shawn said amazed by what he was seeing, the truth was there were few things in his life he remembered being as beautiful as Lita was at this point in time, and that was saying something considering how beautiful Rebecca was and always would be to him. Now Lita was an additional part of the Michaels Family Portrait; as if God hadn't been good enough already, now Shawn had everything; a beautiful red-headed wife, two beautiful healthy children and thanks to Dixie Carter and Jerry Jarrett's legal maneuverings the co-founder of DX was now the official co-owner of the WWE: Life was sweet and judging from the way Lita was looking at him it was about to get even sweeter, so he took that opportunity to drop to his knees and thank the Good Lord for being so good to him.

"Let's go God boy I ain't got all day," Lita said humorously and Shawn got up to his feet after saying "Praise the Lord!" so loud the birds could hear it and took off, smirking he removed his cross and untied his ponytail and his hair fell loose about his shoulders. Lita almost fell over as he removed all clothing and stood naked before her, his sun-kissed skin was in serious need of some kissing and she had just the lips for the job. As he approached her she splashed water up on his face wetting his hair through and laughing nervously as he wrapped his arms around her pressing her naked body to his not taking his eyes off of her for a second, enjoying her amorous sighs as her breasts pressed up against his bare chest, her nipples hardening at the touch of his hot skin against them. Something started to happen to the water and Lita feared their romantic interlude was about to be cut short as the water started to rise up in great tides behind them.

"Oh no," she said looking down at the rising water while Shawn continued to kiss her breasts, he was enjoying himself too much to pay any attention to what was going on around him, "Why is my Righteous Indignation acting up I'm not angry right now?" Lita wondered confused then Shawn kissed her hungrily and everything that concerned her melted away in an instant and his smile sealed the deal; it wasn't her Righteous Indignation that was disturbing the water, it was him. "We don't need to have sex, just kiss me again," she said softly stroking his face as the water glistened on his razor sharp cheekbones a few droplets falling from his chin onto her breasts and his mouth curled up into a breathtaking smile showing that Shawn highly disagreed with that last statement.

"Oh we need to have sex Lita - right here, right now," Shawn said firmly and laid Lita down on the warm sand and made love to her moving in time with the waves as they splashed up over their hot naked bodies covering them from the eyes of the world. Their hearts raced as their passion rose up like a furnace and blocked out the sound of the tides crashing down all around them, Shawn didn't rush he took his time and drank in every part of Lita's pulsating body; her soft creamy skin, her warm hazel eyes, touching her and tasting her from the top of her head to the tips of her toes, making sure there was nothing between them except the sensation of skin meeting skin rocking his hips back and forth, drawing himself into her and out of her one slow thrust at a time, keeping his eyes on the woman he loved making love to as her beautiful lips parted and his name escaped from her mouth.

"Shawn," Lita moaned.

"Yeah?" Shawn replied confidently pleased by his lady's satisfaction and what had to be his best sexual performance to date.

"I love you," Lita replied and Shawn rolled onto his back, or more accurately Lita flipped him onto his back and Shawn realized he was having sex with a luchador and tossing other wrestlers around came second nature to the former Women's Champion as Triple H had reminded Shawn on several occasions using Matt and Edge as examples. Lita sat up on him breaching her hips, letting Shawn slide up into her, arching her neck in ecstasy as he filled her up in a slow, pleasurable rhythm.

"Lita," Shawn moaned gripping her hips like a kid the first time on the merry-go-round.

"Yeah?" Lita replied confidently pleased by her man's satisfaction and what had to be her best sexual performance to date.

"I love you," Shawn said in a husky voice straining with desire fulfilled at last, it felt so good Lita couldn't stop smiling as Shawn put his hands on the upper part of her thighs holding onto them, it was like if he let go of her he would die and that thought scared Shawn, he wanted to feel more of what was inside, with his mouth, with his hands but he couldn't because she was on top and if she stopped now it would still be the best sex he'd ever had, "And there's something else," Shawn added but Lita didn't have to know what he was going to say as she continued to grind on him squeezing every inch of him and Shawn hit her sweet spot with each sensuous thrust writhing under her bucking hips, easing the pressure from deep inside his beautiful Big Red and slowing her all the way down til they stopped, enjoying being locked inside her as she looked at him with her simmering eyes convinced from the hot hands burning on her hips, the blood racing through Shawn's flushed red cheeks and the pretty eyelids fluttering with pre-orgasmic bliss that this was the best sex she ever had too.

"I know," Lita nodded her breath quick and fervent like Shawn's pace, his thrusts got deeper and deeper, she kissed his sweat-coated lips until her body couldn't take it anymore and their first Sex Celebration was regrettably over.

"Ah!" they gasped climaxing together and the moment was gone but they were happy with how well their first bout of love making went, Shawn hoped that they could go another round before breakfast, he wanted more, more, more like an orphan with an empty bowl and a hungry belly. The water finally settled but things were far from calm, for Mr. and Mrs. "Dumbass" Michaels getting up was not an option as they both lay on the sand flat on their backs looking up at the sky waiting for their heartbeats to return back to normal so they could talk to each other without sounding like complete idiots.

"That was awesome," Shawn said finding his voice after several minutes of silence his face buried in Lita's chest, his hot breath all over her and his hand circling her voluptuous breasts with great admiration.

"No this is awesome," Lita replied taking his hand away from her breasts and putting it on her shoulder, Shawn saw her green monster tattoo smiling at him and he knew all was well, he stroked the tattoo affectionately and the newlyweds embraced like two lovers in paradise, only unlike Adam and Eve, God was happy for them, "I'm so glad you're as good in my life as your are in bed, I was so scared you'd hit it and run," Lita confessed resting her head on his shoulder kissing his pierced heart tattoo and looking down at the heart on his right butt cheek wanting to kiss that one too. Then suddenly Lita felt a strange need to look down at her breasts, curiously she cupped them in her hands much to Shawn's pleasure figuring that something had just happened to them, "My breasts - they're real!" she exclaimed in amazement realizing what had happened inspecting them and feeling no silicone only her flesh, "You changed them with your Kiss of Life didn't you?" she asked HBK who nodded shyly like a teenage boy with a crush.

"Well you, Trish, Melina, Randy, Carlito and I are all gonna go back to normal sometime today I thought I might as well give us something to remind you how awesome God's been to us Anointed Amy," Shawn replied sweetly but Lita looked down; it was the last time she would be called that and that left a sadness in her heart. Shawn lifted her head and kissed Lita's lips tenderly holding her face up to meet his warm and loving gaze, his eyes were still burning bright with desire in the clear blue morning of their Honeymoon in Jamaica, "As for me loving you and leaving you, I can't even walk let alone run so I couldn't leave you if I wanted to," he said and Lita laughed, "I've never made love like that before, I've got a feeling our bed is gonna need a new headboard before we get out of this place,"

Lita gasped, "You wanna do it again?" she said amazed at Shawn's sexual appetite and he nodded, "Okay let me just get this starfish off my ass first, ouch!" she said pulling the crustacean off her and flicking it back into the water then Shawn hoisted Lita onto his lap and they resumed their love-making until the sun came up, the starfish got away unharmed.

Meanwhile somewhere between Jamaica and Florida . . .

Hunter looked down over the beach from the WWE jet he had "borrowed" from Vince and Shane while Chyna, LC, Carla and the Kliq slept in the back. Trish and Melina were with him and the rest of the wrestling world was in the back; TNA, WWE, ROH they all wanted to fly to Jamaica and since it was on Vince, the other side of DX saw no reason why they all couldn't come along.

"This trip is gonna cost my dad a fortune," Stephanie said and Hunter laughed: to him that made the trip even sweeter.

"All the more reason to do this my dear," he replied rubbing his hands together mischievously.

"As long as we don't disturb the lovebirds I ain't got no problem stealing Vince's jet or his credit card that paid for all our flights," JTG said from behind with Shad asleep on his shoulder.

"I have a problem with it and we're paying back every penny when we get back to America you guys," Trish said and everyone booed.

"You're such a goody-goody Trish," Mr. Kennedy complained.

"Yeah I can't wait til you go back to normal and all this Truth-telling stuff will finally stop," Chris Jericho added finishing off a bag of peanuts and licking the salt off his fingers. Trish sighed and Rocky kissed the top of her head smiling down at her from the seat behind, he knew how hard going back to normal was going to be for ATM, he had been there with them from the beginning. Melina had cried the whole flight over thinking about it and how being Miraculous had changed her for the better, now her relationship with Nitro was in jeopardy and she needed a miracle badly to pull through this relationship and wasn't eager to loose her Miraculous powers anytime soon.

"I don't wanna go back to normal," she wept, "I love being Melina the Miraculous!"

Trish put a gentle hand on Melina's shoulder understanding how hurt she was over this whole thing but also knowing that it was part of the agreement in exchange for bringing Jeff Hardy back to life, "Sweetie if we didn't agree to this Hunter would have gone to Hell, being a Christian is all about doing the stuff you don't want to do to save the lives of the people you love,"

Hunter touched his chest emotionally and everyone turned towards him wondering why he was being so melodramatic, "You love me that much? I always thought you guys hated me!" he asked the angelic duo touched by what they were giving up so he could live.

"Hunter it was you who knew Shawn and Lita would eventually get together, you saw the whole thing before any of us, you were so instrumental in them getting together, God used us to guide you and ultimately save you because the Earth needs people like you," Trish explained.

"I think I was afraid that if it turned out that Shawn was in love with another woman, his life would degenerate you know? I guess I never realized that Lita was no ordinary woman," Hunter said and Edge leaned over to their side of the jet and nodded.

"She's many things but ordinary is not one of them, I guarantee you Shawn is having the best sex of his life right now," he said and Matt Hardy scowled at him throwing a pillow at his old friend's unsuspecting face.

"That's all you ever think about Adam!" Matt yelled in irritation and Jeff Hardy smirked throwing Skittles into Ashley Massaro's waiting mouth.

"What do you expect man, he's named after the guy that got to bang Eve," Jeff said and everyone laughed including Edge's mom who had decided to come along before going back to Toronto which was still thinking Edge and Lita were getting married, she wasn't sure how to explain that Lita was now married to the guy that screwed Canada's beloved Bret Hart.

"Gees Edge I really wish you'd settle down already, there's more to life than Live Sex Celebrations my son," Judy Copeland said and Hunter, Cryme Tyme and the Kliq baulked at that statement.

"No there isn't!" they disagreed.

"Yes there is, come on Adam you must be tired of going from girl to girl now," Judy insisted and Edge thought aboot it.

"Maybe I'll meet someone in Jamaica, there are a lot of beautiful women in Jamaica," Edge said nodding his head and licking his lips lewdly and MVP, Mr. Kennedy and Ric Flair nodded along with him.

"I hear that brother, you know what we should start our own faction; me, the Dirtest Playa in the Game and you, the Rated R Superstar and Montell and Kendall - we could call ourselves The Playas Club cause we love the ladies and the ladies love us - whoooo!" Ric Flair cried and MVP, Mr. Kennedy and Edge all slapped hands agreeing that they should put the idea pass Teddy and Vicky when they got back to the States while Judy Copeland rolled her eyes and sank into her chair giving up on her son ever settling down.

"Don't give up on him Mrs. C," Trish said to Edge's mom, "It takes some of us a little longer to get out of the game for good,"

Judy furrowed her brow and looked up at Rocky who was fooling around with Y2J who had a hot pink bra on his head, the very one that Stephanie McMahon had spent the entire flight looking for and accused the Divas of stealing, "So are you saying you're still in the game Trish, that you're still a playa?" Judy asked the Canadian diva curiously and Trish nodded, "So Rocky isn't enough to stratisfy you?" she asked and Trish laughed.

"No he is enough to strastify me but he is for now, Judy there's more to life than finding the perfect man, sometimes all a woman needs to be happy is knowing Jesus loves her, Rocky, Carlito, Jericho, Christian I've slept with them all, but its only Jesus who ever gives me 100 percent Stratisfaction," Trish replied and Judy nodded understanding completely what she meant knowing that Edge and Trish had more in common than being from the same country.

"Say Nature Boy, make sure my son gets first dibs on all the girls you boys are gonna pick up on the road," she said to Ric Flair who came over to her, lifted her off her seat and danced with her merrily while Edge laughed thinking life on the road just got a lot more interesting now that he was gonna be rolling with Flair, Kennedy and Montell Vontavious Porter, not marrying Lita didn't seem like such a big deal anymore.

Jamaica, 12:43pm

The jet touched down and an hour later the wrestlers and friends had checked into the Jamaica Hilton where Cryme Tyme immediately began the search for the Anointed Couple, after asking a few wrestling fans in the area, Shad and JTG discovered the newlyweds hotel room and that they had been in there all day.

"Hmmm maybe we shouldn't disturb them," Jeff Hardy said as Hunter led the way to the penthouse suite and pounded on the door until someone answered.

"Hunter what are you doing, Shawn's gonna kick your ass lets go to the beach they'll meet us there!" XPac said pulling his old friend away from the door and escorting him back down to the hotel ground floor and altogether the Superstars exited out the hotel to the beach where of course Shawn and Lita still were several hours later, they hadn't quite made it back to their penthouse suite.

"Daddy?" Cameron called out running towards the familiar figure that was HBK who was sleeping on top of something, on closer inspection that something was Lita who had sunk into the sand beneath him and was trying to move but couldn't.

"Help!" she cried out and Melina and Trish pulled Cameron back but couldn't get to Cheyenne who knelt down by Lita who was sinking in the sand and pulled her out. The wrestlers gasped and Lita consciously covered herself with her hands but it wasn't her sandy naked body that everyone was gasping at, it was Cheyenne's incredible strength. Shawn stirred and opening his eyes and seeing his friends and family staring at his lovely new wife who was naked as the day she was born. He covered her with her Anointed gown from the King of Kings and saw his baby girl laughing and pointing at him hysterically.

"Daddy I can see your tinkle!" Cheyenne said and Shawn hid behind Lita who grinned at the familiar press of Shawn against her, it was something she would never get tired of feeling.

"Couldn't you guys go sight-seeing or something why are you honing in on me and Lita's honeymoon?" Shawn asked irritated looking particularly at Hunter.

"We only have one question then we'll go okay?" Chyna said holding Hunter back before Shawn kicked his ass.

"What?" Shawn asked.

"Are you pregnant?" Chyna asked Lita who looked at everyone tears burning down her face and Shawn looked down at her noticing the tears too. She pressed Cheyenne to her chest lovingly and nodded and Shawn felt his heart swell to the size of football field and tears started to burn the back of his eyes, he didn't even have to ask as Lita gave the First Lady of DX her answer.

"Yes I am," she said and everyone broke out in a round of applause and Cameron came over to his newest family member and Lita knelt down and he kissed her on the head.

"Congratulations Mom," he said and Lita hugged him and his little sister to her chest feeling the newborn baby swelling inside her. Hunter hugged Shawn then realized he was still naked and quickly gave him something to put on that he found on the beach, it was a moo-moo and it was so huge Viscera would have gotten lost in it.

"Hunter where did you get this from a beached whale?" Shawn said putting on the huge apparel.

"Hey I wore that while I was carrying Aurora!" Stephanie interjected and Shawn blew her a kiss and she ran over and hugged him and said congratulations, "Maybe I can give you some advice on raising young children since I have one of my own," she said tearfully and Shawn nodded and kissed Stephanie on the head bringing their decade long feud to a truce.

"Do you guys wanna know the sex?" Trish asked the Anointed Couple, "This is the last time I'll be able to use my Truth Telling abilities so use me while you still can,"

"Really?" Lita asked her best friend in Christ and Trish nodded embracing Melina who was still upset about going back to normal, Lita kissed her husband's hand and gave Shawn a warm smile, "Do you wanna know the sex?" she asked him and Shawn nodded, "Okay Truth, is it a boy or a girl?" the Anointed one asked The Truth: Trish Stratus.

"It's a girl," Trish said and Shawn knew instantly what he wanted to call her.

"I've got the perfect name for her," Shawn said squeezing Lita's hands lovingly looking at Cameron and Cheyenne who was still wrapped around her. Hunter wrapped his arms around all of them, then Trish and Melina wrapped their arms around him, then Randy, Carlito, Shelton, Nitro and everyone on the WWE roster came over and together the WWE Superstars, DX and ATM had one big group hug while Sting, Kurt Angle, and AJ Styles looked on with LAX and the rest of the TNA roster.

"So what are they gonna call her?" Kurt asked Sting who smiled to himself thinking of the only woman whose name would ever belong in the Michaels Family Portrait.

"Rebecca," Sting and AJ Styles said together and the TNA wrestlers cheered for the fallen TNA Knockout who was looking down from Heaven with Mother Hardy, Owen Hart and Eddy Guerrero with the King of Kings and the Almighty Father.

"I love happy endings," Jesus said wiping a tear from His eye.

"Are they going to go back to normal now?" Rebecca asked her Lord and Savior who shrugged.

"I don't know, ask Him," Jesus said pointing to the Throne Room where God was present.

"Father have ATM pleased You with their work on Earth?" Eddy Guerrero asked God.

Yes they have, at midnight tonight Amy Dumas, Trish Stratus and Melina the Miraculous will be back to normal, so will their Holy Helpers Shawn Michaels, Randy Orton and Carlito. Jeff Hardy will still have his gift because I think he's cool.

Rebecca smiled and asked God one more question, "Lord, will they live happily ever after?" she said referring to Shawn and Lita.

You're confusing Me with Shrek, this is not a fairy tale My child but don't worry for My Son is with them and He will always be with them until they die then they will be here with you.

Rebecca clapped her hands joyfully and sang "Halleluiah!" along with the other angels and seraphim, the sound flowed down through the Heavenlies to the Earth and filled the atmosphere around Jamaica which Jeff Hardy picked up on instantly having just left Heaven a few hours ago.

"I can't wait to go back to Heaven," he said an ran over the sparkling water which Heaven touched and danced on its surface much to the delight of the tourists and locals who always enjoyed the miraculous signs and wonders that came over the island every now and again, little did they know that they were surrounded by angelic beings who looked like wrestlers, who were as loved in Heaven as they were on Earth and were about to become like them once again.

"Okay we gotta celebrate Lita's little baby girl, I know - I'm a call Patrick and see what's happening at his club in the Blue Mountains!" JTG exclaimed flipping open his cell phone looking for the designer turned club-owner overnight Jamaican that hooked up with the WWE at the pre-Christmas party last year.

"Yeah tell him Shavonne and Latoya are having a baby," Shawn said wrapping his arms around Lita.

"That's nice Shawn but maybe we should just focus on your baby right now," Maria said and the Anointed Couple rolled her eyes at John Cena's pregnant girlfriend.

"Cena if you think you're gonna be WWE Champion and father to what is obviously going to be a mentally challenged child with no problems you've got another thing coming," HBK said to the WWE Champion who was now finally accepting fatherhood.

"Pray for me," Cena begged Shawn who smiled at him sincerely and gave him a wink.

"You got it partner," he said and together the WWE Superstars and TNA wrestlers made their way back to the hotel with the Anointed couple before heading for Dunn's River Falls for another classic party only this time instead of celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ they were celebrating the births of an ex-miracle worker, an ex-girlfriend and a future mother of a baby girl called Rebecca.


	44. Girlfriends 4 Life

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece?

Chapter Forty Four - Girlfriends 4 Life

Blue Mountains - Dunns River Falls, 6am:

Everybody was sleeping tangled around themselves, muscular arms resting over muscular arms, no-one awake the WWE and TNA wrestlers slept soundly amongst Shawn and Lita's wedding guests with heavy heads and lazy eyes not aware that in a few hours they would all have to get up and go back to America for Monday Night RAW and Smackdown and Impact tapings. They were in Paradise but not for much longer, only Shawn and Lita were staying in Jamaica for one day more. Trish was the first to stir, The Rock was draped over her she had to wrestle out from out of him to get up to her feet and she woke him up by doing so, he then woke up Jericho who woke up Christian who woke up Edge who kicked Matt Hardy who slapped MVP who fell on top of Melina who screamed and woke everyone else up.

"Mel shut up!" Trish cried covering her ears as the now retired Women's Champion.

"We're trying to sleep here!" The Rock added as Nitro pulled the US Champion off of his pregnant wife. Latina Heat got to her feet and snarled at the Canadian beauty who closed her eyes and turned into her lover's ample chest with a satisfied grin on her face.

"In case you didn't notice Stratus I'm pregnant!" Melina snapped.

"So am I but you don't hear me yelling and waking everyone up," Stephanie said looking over at Melina irritated while Maria concurred yawning against Cena's exposed abdomen a pool of drool collecting there. Melina huffed pulling a stray raven lock out of her face angrily.

"Well at least I'm married to my baby's father," she said and the guys went "Ooooh" as Stephanie and Maria got to their feet and walked over to the former Women's Champion offended by her spiteful words.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Stephanie said poking Melina on the shoulder with a sharp fingernail.

"Yeah and at least we're happy with our baby fathers!" Maria snapped and Melina gasped horrified.

"Are you kidding me? John Cena's a man-whore and you know it and you Stephanie, you can't even keep a ten time World Champion happy!" Melina replied with hostility and Jericho and Rocky looked at Nitro with a wicked smile and Nitro nodded the man whore that he was.

"I know, the bitch is back come on baby let's go for a walk," Nitro said taking his wife by the hand and going towards Dunns River Falls.

"Who are you calling a bitch?" Melina protested angrily, "Randy's gonna get my managerial services for free if you keep this up Nitro!"

Everyone laughed and Randy turned into Torrie's lap embarrassed wondering what he ever saw in her, Torrie stroked her new boyfriend's face lovingly knowing what RKO saw in her; it was her Latina Heat and Torrie was gonna turn that around with her All American Girl Next Door.

Cena opened his eyes and yawned seeing Torrie fawning over Orton and he made a wolf whistle until he saw the pool of drool collecting in his belly button and shot up like Edge just bit him.

"Gees Louise Maria, yo Shelton, get me a towel man bruh," Cena said to the pure wrestling wonderboy from Minnesota.

"Oh I get it, the Black man has to get the White boy a towel right? The only towel you're gonna need is the one you'll need to clean up all the blood on the ring after I beat your ass for the WWE Championship!" Shelton snapped and Jeff Hardy got up shaking his head as Ashley played with his braids.

"Nu-uh Shelton we gotta settle our bidness first, whad'ya say whoever wins our match on RAW tonight becomes Number 1 Contender for the WWE Championship at Wrestlemania?" Jeff suggested and Shelton nodded.

"You're funeral Jeff Hardy," Shelton said and the Charismatic Enigma stared a black hole into the current WWE Champion.

"More like your funeral Cena," Hardy said punching his hands together competitively and Cena shook it off cockily refusing to be intimidated by two of the greatest WWE Superstars of his generation to never be WWE Champion.

"Coachman will never allow a match between you and me to take place on the Grandest Stage of Them All," Cena said shooting Jeff and Shelton's hopes for WWE gold down.

"No but the new co-owners of the WWE would," Matt Hardy said nodding in the direction of DX founders Triple H and HBK who were still asleep with Lita and Chyna. Cena threw his visor at Hunter's head but Chyna caught it before it hit her man and threw it back at The Champ angrily.

"Don't start something you're ass can't finish," Chyna warned the younger man who stepped away from the Amazon not wanting to get into a fight with a woman almost as strong as he was. Hunter shot one eye open and smirked loving how easily intimidated by Chyna Cena was.

"I think I just came up with my first match as co-owner of the WWE Shawn," he said to the other co-owner of the WWE who was stirring slightly snug between the two newest members of the Kliq; Lita and his unborn baby girl Rebecca who was growing gracefully in Lita's womb.

"Great Hunter tell me in the morning," Shawn said sleepily as Lita pulled him in closer to her.

"Cena vs. Chyna in an arm-wrestling match," Hunter said.

Shawn laughed and Lita gave Cena the Evolution thumbs down, "You're going down Cena," she said rubbing her swelling stomach feeling over Shawn's hand which was already doing the honor.

"Isn't that what you do on a daily basis?" Cena replied and everyone gasped as Shawn Michaels shot up and chased Cena out of Patrick's luxurious tropical clubhouse catching him before he hit the water and dragged him back by his Chain Gang chain over to his wife's feet. He planted Cena in front on her with his knee to The Champ's neck pulling his chain back hard like a pitbull on a leash.

"Apologize to my wife for that disgusting comment Cena or you ain't gonna make it outta Jamaica in time for RAW," Shawn threatened him.

"My fans will start a riot if I don't show up tonight!" Cena protested trying to free himself from the boot of HBK which suddenly kicked his ass, "Ow Shawn those cowboy boots hurt!"

"Its gonna hurt a lot more if you don't apologize!" Shawn warned Cena who was struck by the beautiful toes wiggling under his nose.

"Ew!" Lita yelped as Cena kissed her feet and she pulled them away from Cena's smiling mouth.

Trish laughed, "John you don't even know where those feet have been," she said and Lita scowled at her and got to her beautiful feet, patted Cena on the head like a dog and grinned playfully while ruffling his hair.

"Down boy," she said and Shawn waited for Cena to turn around before hitting him squah in the jaw with a fresh rendition of Sweet Chin Music and The Champ fell face first into Chyna's lap. Hunter pushed Cena onto the floor and the First Couple of DX used him for a footstool.

Shelton and Carlito exchanged glances, "DX are back alright," Shelton said knowing that could have been anyone if they made a crack at Lita's expense and it didn't matter if they were male or female as Trish was about to find out.

Lita flicked a stray lock of blond hair from Shawn's shoulder and kissed him passionately in front of Trish before pulling away and giving Trish a satisfied smirk.

"Oh what's this?" Lita said pointing to her wedding finger where an 'S' was tattooed, "That's Shawn Michaels name tattooed on my finger," she exclaimed waving her finger in front of Trish's face. Trish rolled her eyes as Shawn did the same thing only with his finger,

"And look sweetie, that's your initial tattooed on my finger!" he said cheerfully, "So I guess that means we're married right?"

Lita feigned shock and everyone giggled at Trish's exasperation at the two wisenheimers, "We're married?" she said surprised and Shawn nodded, Lita turned to Trish with a arrogant smirk and said, "See I told you he was hot for me, where's your initial Rocky?" she said to the Brahma Bull who was trying not to laugh at how angry Trish was getting.

"Its tattooed on my ass along with your husbands after we secretly got married while you were sleeping, here have a look," Rocky said exposing his butt and Trish slapped him on it and pulled his pants back up while everyone cracked up.

"What is your point Lita?" Trish said.

"My point is I've retired the greatest Women's Champion of all time and you've got to go back to work for my husband while Melina and I shop for baby clothes together, my-my how the tables have turned," Lita said in full heel mode and Trish scowled.

"The only thing that's turning is my stomach, I'm happy for you though chica, I always said you were a Degenerate and now you're officially married to one, congratulations!" Trish replied kissing Lita on the cheek while the flaming red-head frowned confused wondering why Trish was so happy for her.

"Did I miss something or are you genuinely happy for me?" Lita asked her puzzled and Trish nodded and took Rocky's hand and he kissed hers tenderly.

"Yes Lita I'm genuinely happy for you because now you and me, two of the greatest of all time are totally 100 percent Stratisfied, plus Dwayne's coming back to work so I won't be alone on the road aren't cha Brahma Bull?" Trish said turning fondly to her old flame who nodded, "He's gonna face the so-called Greatest of All Time in an Icon vs. Icon II match at Wrestlemania,"

Shawn frowned, "What do you mean "so-called" Greatest of All Time?" he asked offended knowing Trish was talking about the match of all matches he was scheduled to have with The Rock this year.

"You're not the Greatest of All Time Shawn, come on you're in a room full of legends, legends-in-the-making and one Legend Killer, plus my baby is way-way-waaay better in the ring than you are Shawn, all the DX merchandize in the world isn't going to change the fact that when Rocky gets in the ring, people don't even remember your name," Trish said confident in her man's superiority and everyone noticed how calm Shawn was about her comment.

"That's alright Trish you're entitled to your opinion, The Rock's an awesome competitor and it will be a pleasure to go in there with one of the best in ring performers of this generation for what will no doubt be another HBK classic," Shawn said coolly, "story of my life," he whispered to Lita who nodded and they rubbed their noses together before kissing each other affectionately.

"Wow Shawn isn't even upset that Trish thinks Rocky's a better wrestler than he is," Chyna said to Hunter who rolled his eyes sardonically knowing Shawn was going to strike when Rocky least expected it and it was going to be sweet.

"You've been gone way to long Joanie, you've forgotten how Shawn is when challenged, but I'm sure glad you're back," Hunter said kissing his old girlfriend and looked around for his cerebral ass-kicker, "Where's LC and the other kids?" he asked not seeing or hearing Cameron's girlfriend du jour.

"They're all outside, let's go hang with them and leave Mr. and Mrs. Dumbass Michaels alone," XPac said pulling Chyna up and waving everyone outside leaving Shawn, Lita, Jericho, Stephanie, Trish and Rocky alone to talk business and babies.

"That's 'Dumas'!" Shawn corrected his black haired friend.

"Wait shouldn't Melina be here for this?" Lita said looking around for the angry Latina.

"Maybe after she's done throwing Nitro into Dunns River Falls," Shawn replied seeing Nitro go sailing into the water via Melina's rage.

"I thought pregnancy was supposed bring husbands and wives closer together?" Jericho said as Melina stormed back into Patrick's clubhouse looking like she just tasted something bad.

"What have you been smoking sweetie?" Stephanie replied cynically, "That's reminds me we gotta see mom and ask her to talk daddy into paying for our wedding,"

"I already talked to her, she said Vince said no way," Jericho responded and Stephanie grabbed her head furiously.

"Did he say why not?" she asked.

"He said as long as you're gonna continue to work for the WWE with DX running things, you can go straight to Hell," Jericho replied and Stephanie sighed banging her head against Jericho's shoulder.

"What am I gonna do we've gotta have a big wedding!" she said anxiously.

"Why can't you just have a normal wedding like normal people?" Rocky asked.

"Because we had an awesome wedding, and you know The Billion Dollar Princess has got to do one better than me and Shawn," Lita replied and Stephanie squeezed her cheek leaving a little blush on Lita's reddened cheek.

"You know me so well Big Red," Stephanie said and Jericho squared his jaw firmly standing his ground.

"Well I'm not paying for an extravagant wedding where all these Assclowns can come and make fun of us for a whole day! Plus there's these special edition Versace speakers I've got my eye on, I was kinda hoping you'd buy them for me," Jericho said hopefully and Shawn balked in disgust.

"Jericho you ain't for real, how you gonna ask your fiancé to buy you something so stupid when you ain't even bought her engagement ring yet?" Shawn asked appalled by Jericho's lack of class.

"Maybe I should get someone to draw a 'J' around her finger with a crayon and call it romantic like you did Shawn," Jericho replied and Rocky, Stephanie, Trish and Melina laughed.

"Its not crayon it's a Divine Tat, something from God to us," Lita replied defensively.

"That's right Lita, you keep telling yourself that, that's not a real wedding ring, Shawn's just as cheap as I am!" Jericho replied.

Lita put her hand on Shawn's leg as HBK started tuning up the band, "Honey ignore him, what are you and Hunter gonna do about Vince, Shane and Linda?" she said and Shawn wound down the band and kissed Lita's hand instead of kicking Jericho's teeth out of his pretty Canadian face.

"I'll ask him, Hunter!" Shawn hollered out the back window.

"What?" Hunter yelled back.

"What are we gonna do with Vince, Shane and Linda?" HBK yelled.

"Who's asking?" Hunter replied.

"Lita!" Shawn replied.

"What's it to her?" Hunter asked.

"What's it to you?" Shawn asked Lita who frowned trying to get her hearing back.

"You don't have to yell!" she replied.

"So you're just gonna roll into Stamford and take over like you did after SummerSlam last year?" Stephanie asked and Shawn nodded and Lita clapped her hands excitedly.

"You weren't kidding when you said you were taking over, you're so sexy I can't stand it," she said reaching up to pull Shawn into yet another soul-shaking kiss, after 60 seconds or so Rocky decided to interrupt their little moment of passion.

"So are you guys gonna stay here another day?" he asked the enraptured couple.

"Yeah we wanna soak up as much sand, sea and sex as we can before we have to go home and be responsible parents, so if ya'll could take Cam, Chey and the girls back to America with you you'd be really helping us out a lot," Shawn replied and Rocky and Jericho gawked.

"No problem Shawn, we'll see you two tomorrow," Stephanie replied and Jericho looked at her like she was crazy.

"Thanks Stephanie, now if you'll excuse us, we've got some love to make," Shawn said and picked Lita up off her feet and carried her to the upstairs bedroom Patrick had made up especially for the Honeymooners.

"Shawn gets to stay here and have sex with one of the hottest women in pro wrestling history and we have to go home with his kids?" Jericho exclaimed frantically.

"Yeah that ain't right," Rocky agreed, "What fun can you have watching kids all day?"

Stephanie took Jericho's hand and Trish took Rocky's and squeezed it fondly, "You can learn how to be humble and take care of God's favorite people: His innocent little children," Stephanie replied and Trish nodded. Both Rocky and Jericho were moved by her words, remembering that she was pregnant Jericho softened his tone and planted a generous kiss on Stephanie's waiting lips. Together the two couples left Shawn and Lita to themselves and closed their ears to the sounds of passion coming down from their Honeymoon suite; they had to enjoy themselves as much as they could because when they got back to America it was bidness as usual and there was a lot of bidness for the new co-owner of the WWE and his Big Red sweetheart to take care of.

"Cryme Tyme get outta here!" they heard Shawn yell and Shad and JTG came flying through Shawn and Lita's bedroom window Camcorder in hand and everyone cracked up at the mischeivous duos antics.

"Come on you guys get in!" the familiar voice of LC Helmsley called up to them from the river bank, LC, Carla, Charlotte, Dan, Brandon, Cassidy and Miss. Taylor was in some kind of boat, it was a banana boat and it was being topped up with Superstar after Superstar, "We're taking a boat ride to the airport come on you're gonna get left behind!"

"There's no way all of us are gonna fit on that boat," Stephanie reasoned looking at how little room there was left in the narrow boat.

"You don't have to come, in fact you should think about moving to JA permanently, that way I won't be forced to make conversation with you at Helmsley family get-togethers," LC replied and Chyna laughed while Hunter tried very hard not to, he failed and cracked up along with his three best gals in the world Chyna, Lisa and Hurricane Aurora.

"Ignore them Steph, they're just a pack of Degenerate thugs they don't know any better, now let's get in this boat and go home to a more civilized country," Jericho said snidely helping his fiancé into the small boat but Patrick was steering the boat and he didn't take to kindly to Jericho's derisive words.

"Okay let's roll," Patrick said stirring the boat towards the airport.

"Wait I'm falling out!" Jericho panicked one leg in the water and one leg out.

"Everybody say goodbye to Shawn and Lita," Patrick said and everyone turned to look up at the tropical clubhouse where a palm tree was shaking back and forth, most likely because of the love Shawn and Lita were making in the room next to it.

"Oh my let's get out of here before we scar these kids for life," Carlito said and Patrick steered the banana boat forward while Jericho followed behind swimming furiously after them cursing Patrick all the way.

Norman Manley Airport, Kingston, JA, around 8am:

The Superstars lined up to go inside the airport while fans gathered around to see them in droves, as much as they traveled the WWE Superstars never got used to how loved they were world over, it was an awesome experience each and every time.

"I could get used to this," Carla McCool said in Charlotte's arms.

"This sucks these people are everywhere, I don't think I'm gonna be able to take this much longer!" LC said pulling at her hair in frustration.

"Well you better get used to it now you're a Helmsley, everywhere he goes these crazy fans will too," Carla reminded her sister who began to plan a way to change that which Cameron noticed intrigued; her brow furrowed and her eyes darkened; she was up to no good and he loved it.

"What you thinking babe, pepper spray machine gun, itching powder?" he asked his girlfriend.

"More like poisoned darts," she replied and ran over to Hunter and pulled on his pant leg to get his attention but he was signing autographs for a pack of giggly girls, the ones LC hated the most, "Dad, we gotta go back to Cali and pick up my crossbow,"

"No can do honey, we've got to go to Connecticut and move all of Vince's stuff out and move all Shawn and my stuff in to WWE HQ, that's our top priority today, I'll help you think of ways to kill Jericho tomorrow," Hunter said.

"But I don't wanna kill Jericho he's marrying Stephanie McMahon that'll be the death of any man, I want to get rid of all these stupid fans!" LC replied and Hunter picked her up and kissed her on the cheek.

"Aren't you forgetting something Lisa?" he said and the rebellious warrior princess shook her head not knowing what he meant, "You used to be one of these stupid fans, they're not doing anything that you never did before you became part of the Helmsley clan,"

LC realized he was right but it didn't change the fact that she didn't like it, "I want to say I understand but the truth is I'm selfish daddy and I don't want anyone else taking up your time except us," she replied nodding to Chyna and Aurora, Hunter kissed her and she hugged him happily feeling much better, she may have been Triple H's greatest fangirl once upon a time but being his biological daughter was so much better.

"Whatever happens my work will never get in the way of me being the world's greatest dad, okay LC?" Hunter told his daughter who was smiling from ear-to-ear.

"Okay daddy, put me down I wanna talk to Cameron," she said and Hunter put her down and watched as she ran to her special little man and grinned.

"I know what your thinking," Chyna said noticing the way Hunter was grinning, "You're thinking Cameron and LC are the cutest little couple on the planet am I right?"

"No I'm thinking Shawn and I need to break them up somehow, before they end up doing something stupid like Dominic Mysterio and Shaul Guerrero," Hunter replied.

"I think you're worrying over nothing, they're way too young to be thinking about sex Hunter," Chyna said but Hunter disagreed.

"Kids aren't kids anymore baby and we have to take extreme measures to make sure nothing illicit don't go down between them," Hunter replied then he came up with the perfect way to assuage his concern, "We gotta go to my place and pick up a few things after we clean out WWE HQ," he told Chyna who frowned.

"Pick up a few things like what?" Chyna asked curiously.

"Let's just say it'll do the trick," Hunter replied and headed to security with all the other wrestlers including a soaking wet Chris Jericho.

"It's a good thing RAW is in Sacramento I can go home and change," Jericho said.

"No we have to go to Greenwich with Hunter and get all my stuff out of my house," Stephanie argued.

"Why do we have to go with your stupid ex-husband?" Jericho asked annoyed.

"Because he's the only person allowed in since the government banned my parents from going there without supervision from the new owners of the WWE," Stephanie said.

"Wait let me get this straight, The McMahons are banned from the McMahon-Helmsley complex?" Carlito said.

"I bet you think that's cool?" Jericho said sarcastically.

"Yeah its cool, now I can throw that party I had planned, we can dedicate it to DX taking over from Vince, Shane and Linda," Carlito responded.

"What do you think Hunter, do you think Shawn'll go for it?" Edge asked excitedly.

"I don't think so you guys we've got a lot of bidness to take care of, I don't think we'll be partying it up until everything's been successfully handed over to us and that may take all week, plus I gotta move all of Chyna and LC's stuff in there, I just don't see it happening guys, sorry," Hunter said and everyone stared at him in horror, "Just kidding, you bet your ass we'll throw a DX party, I'll take care of the booze and the broads Carlito, Edge, you take care of the rest,"

"YEAH!" Carlito and Edge cheered clapping hands and dancing their way through the lounge.

"Wait a minute guys, if Hunter's taking care of the booze and the broads, what are you taking care of?" Shad Gaspard asked confused.

"We'll take care of the food, the music, the decorations . . ." Edge said and Carlito frowned, this was starting to sound like a lot of work.

"This is starting to sound like a lot of work Adam," Carlito complained.

"Your right, looks like we're gonna have to get a party planning committee," Edge said and Cryme Tyme chuckled while Carlito wanted to bail out badly.

"Edge maybe you can take care of the party yourself, a planning committee is not cool," Carlito said.

"I'll let you cook the food," Edge said and Carlito cheered victoriously pumping his fists in the air while Shelton, Nitro, Hall, Nash and AJ exchanged weary glances but Edge re-assured them that they had nothing to worry about.

"Don't worry guys you can bring your own food," he whispered to them and they sighed relived not wanting to eat any of Carlito's Caribbean cooking, "Mom you can invite your friends Babs and Alison, it'll make up for them not having a wedding to go to over the weekend," Edge said to his mom and Judy nodded liking the sound of a party at the huge McMahon-Helmsley estate, only now it would be the premises of DX, Inc.


	45. The Brotherhood 4 Life

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece?

Chapter Forty Five - The Brotherhood 4 Life

Trish and Carlito's House, Boca Vista, FL, 12pm

As the WWE and TNA wrestlers headed to California for RAW and Orlando for Impact, Trish, Carlio, The Rock, Edge, Christian and Mickie James piled into the familiar surroundings of Trish and Carlito's house, the former Women's Champion couldn't go inside though and instead Trish stayed on the lawn while everyone looked at her curiously.

"What's the matter don't you wanna get your stuff?" Mickie James asked her idol but Trish just chewed her hair nervously.

"Well if you didn't wanna come inside why did we have to come here instead of going to Sacremento with the others?" Carlito asked confused. Trish titled her head to the side sadly waiting for a glimmer of recollection from her ex-boyfriend Carlito's chocolate brown eyes, but none came, "Trish why are you looking at me like that?" Carlito asked her finally.

"You go inside and you'll find out," Trish said and walked away leaving Carlito with Mickie James who knew why her favorite wrestler was so upset.

"Where are they going?" Carlito said as The Rock and Trish got in the People's rent-a-car and headed for the airport.

Christian looked at Edge who looked down knowing what his best friend in the whole world was thinking.

"Back to Cali most likely," Edge said.

"Well why did we come all the way down here?" Carlito asked infuriated his caramel cheeks flushing apple red.

"This is typical Trish, can't deal with her past so she runs into another pair of arms," Christian said.

"Christian I ain't got any idea what you're talking about," Carlito said and Captain Charisma sighed and escorted the cool one into the house with the key Trish had given him when they were going out.

Inside Carlito saw his stuff; his sweater, a pair of his shoes and most surprising of all a picture of him kissing Trish in Dunns River Falls. He picked up the picture for a closer look and turned to Christian, Edge and Mickie for answers.

"What the Hell is this?" he demanded more confused than angry.

"It's a picture of you and Trish in Jamaica at the pre-Christmas party the WWE had last year," Mickie James answered.

"You don't remember do you?" Edge added and Carlito shook his head.

"I know we flirted for awhile before she retired, but this picture looks like we were in love and I'm sure Carlito would remember being in love with Trish Stratus," Carlito replied and Edge snorted sarcastically.

"Under normal circumstances maybe, but your experiences with Trish, Melina and Lita were anything but normal," he said and Christian and Mickie agreed.

"Carlito trust me, its all in the past and its better left alone, sure you had Trish but now she's with a better wrestler who's richer and better looking then you, its how she operates; she went from Rocky to Jericho to me - the Instant Classic who had enough sense to see right through her, so she went to you, I mean talk about a step down - and then finally she went home to the Jabroni-beating, pie-eating, loves to suck and loves to blow and took Trish Stratus right from your nose Carlito - that's the People's Champ The Rock!" Christian explained and he patted an offended Carlito on the shoulder, "You're better off without her, trust me okay?" he said and Carlito looked down at the fruit basket on the coffee table that had a note that said "For Spitting in Uncool People's Faces" on it, so he picked up one and took a big bite before spitting it in Captain Charisma's face much to the amusement of Edge, his mom and Mickie James.

"Feel better?" Edge asked Carlito who smiled, "Good now let's plan the DX party we're throwing at the former McMahon-Helmsley complex tonight,"

Christian frowned wiping the pieces of apple off his face, "The party's tonight?" he asked and Edge, Carlito and Mickie James nodded, "Why can't you guys wait until tomorrow?"

"Don't worry it'll still be going on waaaay into Tuesday, the Kliq are notorious for throwing the craziest parties Jay," Edge explained and Captain Charisma liked the sound of that.

"And TNA are invited?" he asked adamantly.

"Uh-huh," Edge replied and Carlito frowned.

"I don't remember agreeing to that?" he asked confused.

"What do you remember after Shawn kissed you?" Mickie James said and Carlito's hair stood on end, more so than usual.

"Shawn Michaels did what?" he asked outraged and Edge, MJ and Christian watched amused as Carlito took the fruit basket of apples and marched towards Edge's rent-a-car, "Nobody kisses Carlito unless they have breasts and a pretty face, I'm gonna spit every single one of these apples in Shawn Michaels face!" he yelled outraged and MJ panicked thinking the new co-owner of WWE and newlywed would take issue with being spat on his first day as DX owner of the WWE.

"That's probably not a very good idea being that we're throwing this party at what is now the Helmsley compound and the home of Shawn's best friend and part owner of the WWE, Triple H," Edge said factually but Carlito was already in the car picking out the best apples to spit. Christian and MJ looked at Edge who nodded knowing what they were thinking; this maybe the very last time they know Carlito as an employee of the WWE.

"Tell Dixie Carlito might be coming to TNA," Edge said to his oldest and dearest friend who smiled.

"Now that would be cool!" he said getting into the rent-a-car with Edge and MJ.

"This party is gonna be awesome!" Edge said excitedly and his mom sighed thinking her baby boy was never gonna grow into the sophisticated young man she told Babs and Alison he was and drove to the airport were her friends were waiting for her to be taken to Saremento for Monday Night RAW which would be followed by the Coolest Canadian Carribean Party Connecticut had ever seen!

WWE HQ, Titan Tower, Stamford, CT, 1:00pm:

LC sat on her father's knee as Aurora giggled blowing bubbles out of her mouth sensing that something bad was about to happen to her father's least favorite person, Vincent Kennedy McMahon.

"What are you laughing at?" Vince asked Aurora and Hunter wagged his finger with a warning glare.

"That is not the way to approach this subject Vince, this girl can blow you off the face of the Earth and you better tread lightly if you wanna make it outta here in one piece," Hunter warned the Chairman who had Shane chain him to the desk, he refused to leave the premises and told Hunter several times that he would have to kill him to get him to leave WWE HQ. The fact that Titan Tower was legally the property of DX didn't seem to persuade Vince, Shane and Linda McMahon to go, all three McMahons were staying put but luckily the warroir princess LC and her friends had prepared for such an incident.

"Cameron bring in the paint," LC said into her cell-phone and seconds later Cameron, Carla, Cassidly, Charlene, Tristen Nash and even Cheyenne came into the huge Chairman's office each with a can of paint. The McMahon's noticed the paint on the children's faces; some of it was green and some of it was black and all of it was on the outside of Titan Tower.

"We suggest you leave immediately," Cameron said a fleck of green paint on his forehead.

"Yeah get out!" Carla added, a fleck of black paint on her hair.

"Or we're gonna paint you like we painted the outside of this building!" Cassidy added, green paint all over her hot pink t-shirt, it looked pretty cool.

"What did you just say you did to the outside of my building?" Vince asked in disbelief.

"It's MY building Vince," Triple H corrected the former Chairman of the WWE and Chyna nudged him sharply and he revised the statement, "Make that OUR buidling," he said and Chyna nodded approvingly, "Titan Tower belongs to DX and you ain't got no business telling us what color we can and can't paint it,"

Vince, Shane and Linda ran over to the window and looked down, the children had indeed painted the outside of Titan Tower in DX colors.

"You sonofabitch!" Shane roared and he charged for the 1st Couple of DX but LC saw him coming and signalled for Cameron and her friends to throw paint on him which they did and they got paint on Vince and Linda too.

"Not again!" Linda complained, "This is the second time we've been dosed in green and black paint, maybe we should just retire Vince, I'm not cut out for this crap,"

"You retire somewhere smoking pot is legal, I'm not going anywhere!" Vince said blinking the green paint out of his eyes as the children, Hunter and Chyna laughed and laughed.

"Oh you're going somewhere alright, Sean, Scott, Kev - its time to take out the trash!" Hunter called to the Kliq who were outside the door waiting to do what they did best: help Shawn and Hunter piss off The McMahons.

"Let go of me!" Vince complained as Kevin Nash flipped him up over his shoulder, Hunter noticed the cruel smile on Big Daddy Cool's face and knew instantly what he wanted to do.

"Please Hunter, you've got to let me Jacknife Vince through his desk, I'm begging you brotha!" Kevin begged and Hunter smiled.

"As my first command as co-owner of the WWE, I insist," Hunter replied and Shane and Linda watched in horror while the Kliq, LC, Aurora and rest of the Karate Kampers cheered as Kevin Nash Jacknifed the former Chairman of the Board through his very on desk.

"Oh that's gonna leave a mark!" XPac said and Razor, Hunter and Chyna all got around the broken table and crotch-chopped the bane of their existence.

"You're never gonna be able to run the WWE, only a man as brilliant as my father could ever run the greatest wrestling promotion in the world, you and Shawn are gonna make fools of yourselves and we'll be back in ownership before Wrestlemania!" Shane protested as Razor held him firmly. Razor gave Hunter the puppy dog eyes and Hunter knew that the Bad Guy wanted to do something bad to the Chairman's only son.

"You don't have to ask Razor, do what's in your heart," Hunter said and Scott Hall lifted Shane up and hit him with the Razor's Edge on the plush carpeted floor of Vince's office much to everyone's amusement, everyone except Linda that is.

"I think we're done here, come on boys let's take out the trash," XPac said taking Linda's arm but Mrs. McMahon refused to come along and Sean gave Hunter the same look as Nash and Hall but this time Chyna was the one to respond.

"Linda you look terrible why don't you try to calm down, here have a seat," she said sweetly escorting Linda over to the Old England leather chair in the corner of Vince's office. Linda followed the 9th Wonder of the World nervously, she sat in the leather chair and tried to relax but she couldn't, she had a feeling something bad was about to happen: she was right. As soon as she got comfortable, XPac set up for the Bronco Buster and pounded Linda McMahon's face with his crotch.

"Now I know that's gonna leave a mark!" Hunter said laughing as Linda ran out after her husband and son screaming and rubbing her face repeatedly in disgust.

Cheyenne pulled on her brother's sleeve and Cameron turned to her attentively giving her a hug and mussing up her neatly combed hair.

"Cam-Cam why did Uncle Sean put his crotch in Mrs. McMahon's face?" she asked innocently tidying her hair back up after realizing it was out of place.

Cameron turned to LC who stepped forward seeing how uncomfortable her brother was answering the question, she slipped her arm around Chey's small shoulders and whispered two words in her ear. Cheyenne looked at LC confused then looked over at her brother who wondered what LC just told his baby sister.

"LC said if you ever do that to her she's gonna tell Daddy you told her to SUCK IT," Cheyenne said and everyone gasped in horror.

"Cheyenne don't ever say those two words ever again you got it?" Cameron warned his baby sister for fear of what would happen if his father heard her say the infamous DX catch-phrase.

"SUCK IT!" Aurora cried out jubilantly and Hunter hugged her proudly and kised her adoringly on the cheek.

"That's my girl, you've made this the best year of my entire life!" he said ecstatically and together DX and the children left the huge office, Hunter locking the door behind him, his Triple H keyring hanging from Vince McMahon's office keys.

Outside Sexy Boy Shawn Michaels and Big Red Lita were waiting for them.

"Nice job," Shawn said nodding to the green and black paint job the kids had done on the outside of Titan Tower.

"What are all these other paint cans doing out here?" LC said not remembering seeing metallic purple, blue or pink when she was out there earlier.

"Here comes your explanation," Carla said as Matt and Jeff Hardy appeared from behind Titan Tower covered in purple, blue and pink paint.

Hunter eyed them outraged, "What do you boys think you're doing painting our building all those fruity colors? This is DX Inc, not Team Xtreme's Paint N' Spray!" he complained and Lita and Shawn chuckled to one another making Hunter even madder, "I suppose you two knew about this?" he asked them unimpressed and the newlyweds nodded, "Shawn how are we gonna get anyone to take us seriously if you let two of the craziest kids in the WWE paint company HQ like a bowl of Skittles?" he asked seriously.

"That's the whole idea you see, Jeff likes Skittles and you're kind of fruity yourself," Lita explained and The Kliq, Shawn and Chyna tried to muffle their laughter at how angry Hunter was getting.

"Explain yourself woman," Hunter demanded.

"She's saying your gay Dad, Skittles, fruity, taste the rainbow - what part of this don't you understand?" LC said and everyone burst out laughing including the Hardyz.

"We're just kidding boss, I just wanted to contribute to the new era of domination in the legacy of Degeneration X," Matt Hardy saluting Shawn and Hunter with his paint roller.

"I just like bright colors, you're such a suck up Matt," Jeff added and Lita hushed him not liking the disapproving look Hunter was shooting the Rainbow Warrior.

"Give me one of those," Hunter said rudely and Jeff refused, "Give me one or your not competing in the Number One Contender's Match for the WWE Championship tonight," Hunter threatened him and Jeff pouted.

"Shawn tell him he can't threaten me like that," Jeff Hardy said to Lita's husband.

"Hunter they're his Skittles if you want one you'll have to ask him nicely," Shawn said softly to his partner in crime. Hunter looked down at LC and motioned for her to bring him something, the warrior princess reached into her over-sized DX back-pack and pulled out a sledgehammer and handed it to her father who took it and smiled in Jeff Hardy's sweet stained face.

"Jeff could I please have one of your multi-colored candies?" he said brandishing his favorite weapon of choice and Jeff looked nervously at Matt, then at Lita and finally back at Triple H.

"I just ate the last one," he said showing his sweet-stained teeth in a big colorul smile and everyone burst out laughing as Hunter threw a tantrum wailing the sledgehammer down on an expensive Hummer limosuine, the owner of it eventaully showed himself and everyone gasped as Vince McMahon stuck his head through the window.

"What is he still doing here?" Shawn asked displeased with seeing Vince's angry green face after spending the weekend in paradise with his lovely lady Lita, it was a better contraceptive than most pharmacies would stock.

"Hey fellas I thought you said you were gonna take out the trash?" Hunter called over to Nash, Hall and Waltman who were walking back down towards them.

"We did," Nash replied and pointed to the car carrier that removed illegally parked vehicles in the nearby area.

"Oh no," Vince said as his expensive Hummer limousince was harnessed to the carrier and pulled aboard with other cars, some flashy but most of them trashy and the driver hauled Vince, Shane and Linda off to downtown Connecticut; a place the McMahons never go.

"DAMN YOU DX, I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL!" Vince cried out through the limosuine window as the driver hauled him and his embarrassed family away from WWE HQ.

"Not much chance of that," Shawn said squeezing Lita to him and kissing her lovingly on the lips.

"So I guess you two are gonna come with us to Sacremento and announce to the WWE fans that DX have officially taken over from The McMahon Family," Matt Hardy asked Shawn and Hunter who exchanged glances like Matt just asked them if they had a MySpace page.

"No we're gonna go to Greenwich and re-decorate," Shawn replied and Matt and Jeff got excited.

"Can we help?" they asked at the same-time.

"No Skittle boy you can't, now take your Rainbow colored ass to Sacremento and get ready for your Number One Contender's Match against Shelton Benjamin," Hunter said and Jeff pouted as Matt hailed a taxi.

"Are you going to help them decorate too Li?" Matt asked and Lita nodded.

"I'm not part of RAW anymore guys, I'm part of the Kliq, go get um Jeffrey!" she said to Jeff and gave him a big kiss which Shawn ended pretty soon after it started.

"That'll do Jeffrey," Shawn said taking Lita back into his arms and kissing her again, he felt something on his lips and looked at Jeff curiously.

"What?" Lita asked him and Shawn tried to identify the taste.

"Nuthin its just his lips they taste so familiar," Shawn said and Hunter gave Jeff a look.

"And I'm the fruity one?" he said and everyone laughed, Shawn had completely forgotten about his Kiss of Life, just like Lita had forgotten her Anointing, Trish her ability to see Truth before it happens and Melina's miraculous healing abilities.

"What?" Shawn asked Lita who fell into a daze thinking about the last few days.

"Nuthin I just don't remember the last time I've ever been so happy," she said and Shawn smiled and gave her another kiss, the sweetness that had startled him startled her and now Lita felt something strange from the kiss. Jeff Hardy smiled as he got into the cab his brother flagged down watching Shawn and Lita try to understand what they were both now struggling to remember.

"They've totally forgotten about their Gifts from God," he said to Matt who was still psyched that his little brother could actually walk on water.

"Aurora still has her gift and don't forget about Rebecca, Trish said that there's gonna be a dispute in the Heavenlies about whether Melina or Stephanie's babies get to be part of the new ATM," Matt said.

"Do you think Shawn's gonna let us see Li as much when the baby's born?" Jeff asked Matt as the taxi pulled away from the curb.

Matt caught the smile of joy on Lita's face as the taxi drove off and turned to his brother, "He's got no choice, I called godfather," Matt replied and Jeff gawked in shock.

"No fair Matt you always get to do the cool stuff with Lita I wanna be godfather too!" Jeff sulked.

"Well I suppose you could be co-godfather," Matt suggested and Jeff gave his brother a dirty look.

"Co-godfather?" Jeff repeated unimpressed.

"Yeah," Matt replied and Jeff crossed his arms over his chest and slunk into the soft leather taxi seat.

"Fine I'll be co-Godfather," he said reluctantly.

"Good we'll share the responsibilties, I'll take Rebecca to the zoo you can teach her how to paint," Matt said and Jeff huffed.

"Fine," Jeff said reaching into his bag of Skittles, the one Hunter didn't know about, they were about the only thing in his life he didn't have to share with his older brother and that made them taste even better.


	46. ATM 4 Life

Title: The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: The road to true love is rocky especially when your friends trip you up on the way, will Lita make it to the altar in one piece?

Chapter Forty Six - ATM 4 Life

McMahon-Helmsley Compound, Greenwich, Connecticut, 5pm:

Hunter hugged his best friend to his side and smiled up at the huge McMahon-Helmsley Compound which he, Shawn, the Kliq and the kids had spent the last few hours redecorating.

"Isn't it just beautiful?" Hunter said and Shawn frowned looking at the pile of McMahon memorabilia they had moved out of Vince's former home.

"It's a pile of crap Hunter," he said bemused.

"You don't understand Shawn, you don't know how long I've wanted to do this. Now, thanks to you and God, I Hunter Hurst Helmsley finally get to kick Vince and his crap out of his own house!" Hunter cheered jumping up and down with Shawn while the Kliq applauded. Shawn was more interested in what was going to go into the house now that they had stripped it of all McMahon possessions and he wanted to know what Hunter had in mind.

"You know since we agreed to share the McMahon-Helmsley Compound," Shawn started and Hunter interrupted him.

"Uh-uh-uh, that's the Assassin's House of Heartbreak and Extreme Torture," he corrected Shawn and the Kliq laughed and laughed at the expression on HBK's face at the name Hunter had given his new building.

"Can you think of a name less demonic? I mean I am a Christian now, you can't just give it a sick sounding name it has to mean something," Shawn explained and Hunter slipped his arm off Shawn's shoulder and slapped himself in the head.

"I got one!" Cameron cried out raising his hand and jumping up and down, "How about St. Michaels House of Love?" he said and LC snickered.

"How about the Helmsleys' House of Shut the Hell Up?" Hunter replied and Shawn made a motion like he was gonna slap Hunter but the Cerebral Assassin hid behind Chyna.

"It has to be a place everybody wants to go," Shawn argued and everyone thought about it.

"I got it!" Hunter announced and everyone looked at him, "Lita's Box," he replied and Shawn stared a black hole into him, "What? You said make it a place everyone wanted to go," he reasoned and Shawn threw him into the huge fountain in Vince McMahon's Palatial Gardens.

"I got it!" Shawn announced dusting off his hands for a job well done, "The Sandbox,"

"I like it," Hunter said coming out from behind his girlfriend, "But I'd much rather play in Lita's sandbox if you know what I mean," he added and Shawn slapped him around the head.

"So that's what we're gonna call the McMahon-Helmsley Complex from now on and anyone who doesn't like it, well Hunter and I have just got two words for ya," Chyna said.

"NOT IN FRONT OF THE KIDS!" Shawn cried and the Kliq instantly gagged their mouths to stop the infamous two words from coming out.

Cheyenne frowned, "Daddy that was six words," she said and Shawn mussed up her hair which she promptly fixed.

"Hush buttercup," he told his baby girl with a smile then he thought about Lita, they had only been apart 3 hours and he missed her already, "Hey baby," he said after dialing her number on his cell-phone, "What'cha doing?" he asked amorously, "Are you thinking about me, cause I'm thinking about you,"

"Oh I'm thinking about you alright. I'm thinking about kicking your ass!" came the gruff response of Adam "Edge" Copeland who was staring at HBK from across the lawn while everyone including Carlito who was standing next to Edge's mom cracked up, "What the Hell is wrong with you Shawn?" Edge demanded furious, "wasn't this channeling Lita's spirit thing supposed to end when you married my ex-girlfriend last week?"

"But I called Lita's cell, this is her cell-phone number she gave it to me before she left with Trish and Melina for California!" Shawn explained gesturing to the new number Lita had put into his cell-phone. Edge looked at the number and shook his head and Shawn realized that his Big Red Sweetheart had just ribbed him.

"Hello?" Lita answered when her cell-phone rang.

"Shawn called the number you gave him," Hunter told her quietly so Shawn didn't hear him, "he totally made a jackass out of himself,"

"So the rib went off without a hitch, excellent work Helmsley, I think the two of us are gonna get along just fine," Lita said nodding to Trish and Melina who knew the cell number she had given her husband was Edge's and not hers and they took bets on how long it would take Shawn to figure it out.

"3 hours not bad," Trish said and Melina frowned.

"I was out by 4 hours, who would have thought Shawn couldn't go less than 7 hours without calling you," she said as the three girls packed up her things at her house in Santa Monica, she was going to spend some-time with Maria in Chi Town while Cena was on the road.

"I owe you one Hunter, that was the best rib yet," Lita said rubbing her pregnant stomach with laughter and Shawn grew suspicious when he saw Hunter making rude gestures with his mouth down the receiver of his cell phone; there was only one person he would do that to and he had her initial tattooed around her wedding finger.

Hunter turned and saw Shawn glaring at him, "Uh-oh gotta go," he said and hung up on Lita and shoving the cell phone into his front pocket.

"Oh hi Shawn, did you find out what happened with Lita's number?" Hunter asked innocently but Shawn wasn't buying.

"Give me your cell," he told Hunter in no uncertain terms and Hunter shook his head and wagged his finger in his best friend's face.

"This is my cell-phone Shawn, if you want one go buy your own, just because we're co-owners of the WWE doesn't mean we have to share everything, like that band you use to tie your hair back with, you borrowed it in 2005, I'd like it back sometime I can't keep flicking my hair back everytime it gets in my face!" Hunter said hiding behind Chyna again.

"Give me your cell, then I'll give you your stupid hair band back," Shawn said and Cheyenne reached into Hunter pants pocket and pulled out the phone leaving Hunter horrified, now he had no phone and his hair was falling into his eyes again.

"Your daughter just sexually harassed me!" Hunter exclaimed and everyone laughed.

"Hello?" Lita said answering her cell phone for the second time.

"Mommy is that you?" Cheyenne said down the phone and Melina and Trish jumped at the hostile voice of Triple H who was yelling at Cheyenne.

"I want compensation for what your little girl just did!" Hunter screeched at Shawn who ignored him, "She violated me Shawn, you all saw it!"

Trish and Melina laughed and so did everyone in Greenwich, Lita fell silent on the other end of her cell trying to get over the fact that she was legally the maternal guardian of Cameron and Cheyenne Michaels and wiped a tear from her eye that had fallen when Cheyenne called her mommy.

"How's Daddy Chey?" Lita replied a little choked up but still smiling even though her throat was hoarse with tears.

Cheyenne looked over at her father who was trying not to laugh at how cute his little girl was on the phone and ignored Hunter at the same-time.

"He's fine but Uncle Hunter wants to sue me for sexy harris mint," she replied and Lita frowned.

"What's a sexy harris mint?" she asked Trish who shrugged.

"Maybe it's a new breath mint, you know Hunter could definitely use one of those a day, his breath is terrible," Melina said and Lita laughed.

"Is Daddy mad at me Chey?" Lita asked Cheyenne who looked up at her Dad who was smiling down at her from above.

"Tell Mommy Daddy loves her too much to be mad at her," Shawn whispered in Cheyenne's ear and the little girl yawned.

"Sorry Daddy that's just too many words," she replied and handed her Dad Hunter's cell phone with a yawn and decided to go to Aurora who was sleeping in the Hummer limousine and take a nap with her but Hunter blocked her path to the former owner of the mansion's luxury vehicle.

"Oh no you're not going anywhere until I get my compensation you monster!" Hunter said firmly protecting himself from a further "assault" and Cheyenne started pulling her hair band from her ponytail.

"Here it's all I've got," she said handing the pink band to him and he took it begrudgingly.

"It's pink," he complained turning his nose up at the girly hair band.

"I ain't got nuthin else!" Cheyenne replied.

"Okay fine I'll take it, I guess I could drop the charges, but you put one hand on me Cheyenne Michaels and I call the cops," Hunter replied tying back his hair.

Gees Uncle Hunter you really do need a sexy harris mint," she said scrunching up her nose in disgust and ran into The Sandbox leaving Uncle Hunter to figure it out for himself.

"Does my breath smell or something?" he asked everyone and everyone looked at the ground or did something random.

"Oh look at the time, I guess we better be getting back to Orlando boys," Kevin Nash said to Scott Hall and Sean Waltman.

"I thought you guys were staying for the inaugural DX Rules party tonight?" Hunter asked them and they remembered that they were.

"Then I guess we better get back to . . . um, helping Edge and Carlito with the guest list," Scotty replied and the Kliq dragged a bemused Edge and Carlito into the huge Compound now unrecognizable to anyone with the last name 'McMahon'. Hunter looked over at his girlfriend who he trusted would give him an honest answer.

"Baby does my breath smell?" he said coming up to her and she turned away from him in disgust.

"Urgh! Gees Hunter have you been brushing your teeth with a toilet brush?" she asked him holding her nose and Hunter scratched his head.

"No," he replied and took another sip of his water, "My breath doesn't usually smell bad, what's going on?" he wondered taking another sip. Eventually he spat the water out and checked the bottle, "Urgh what is this, it tastes like dog water?"

When he heard laughter coming from inside the Hummer limousine he realized it was dog water and started heading towards the culprit.

"He fell for it, he's been drinking that water the whole time we've been here, he didn't have a clue it was from your dog's water dish," Shawn told Lita from inside the car next to a sleeping Aurora Rose and Cheyenne who was laughing along with Trish and Lita at the rib Shawn had designed since they left Jamaica.

"SHAWN!" Hunter roared and HBK laughed despite himself.

"Busted!" Cheyenne cried out.

"Okay I'm toast, pray for me," Shawn asked his wife.

"I always do," Lita replied with a warm smile.

"I love you, see you soon," Shawn said and ran from Hunter and into the house that McMahon built leaving their daughters to sleep in the leather warmth of Vince's Hummer limousine or as it would soon be known as the DX Machine.

"You guys ready to roll?" Cameron said from the front seat and Cheyenne frowned.

"Cam-Cam you can't drive, you too small," she said closing her eyes and fell asleep and Cameron pouted looking at how far his feet were from the steering wheel.

"One day I'll be able to drive and I'll be the man of the house," he said to himself with a deep sigh and kissed LC who was sitting on his left.

"I love you too Sexy Boy," LC said and Carla and Charlene smiled to each other.

"Uncle Rey and Aunt Vicky are here, let's try and keep Dominic and Shaul away from each other until they're sixteen and married," Charlene said to Carla who nodded as Charlene jumped out of the limousine looking wearily at the disgraced couple that everyone was gonna be keeping an eye on.

Back in California Lita smiled to herself and caressed her stomach fondly, "Your mom is a very happy lady," she whispered to her unborn child. Trish and Melina heard her feeling mixed emotions but hugged her all the same, while Lita and Shawn may have been on top of the world, Trish and Melina's was about to come crashing down.

"Melina are you okay?" Lita asked Melina as the Latina crouched over in pain holding her pregnant stomach.

"I think you better pray for me guys, I don't think this is gonna be an easy pregnancy for me and Johnny," Melina said and Lita and Trish looked at each other concerned.

"Do you think it has something to do with the match between Randy and Nitro for your managerial services?" Lita asked Melina as she and Trish eased the hurting mother onto her bed.

"Melina nodded, "Funny isn't it? You're marriage and your baby are blessed and mine is cursed," she said and Lita shook her head.

"You're not cursed Melina," Lita said confidently rubbing her best friend's stomach tenderly, "You're just stressing out over Nitro but everything's gonna work out you'll see,"

Trish nodded and Melina smiled and the baby started to turn and she screamed in pain. Trish consoled her pressing a damp cloth to her head while Lita held her own pregnant stomach where her baby was growing peacefully inside her and she wondered if Melina was right, maybe she was blessed and Melina was cursed. The Chimallis necklace Shawn, Rebecca and their children had given her last year was really itching her but she was too consumed with her own thoughts to remove it. _But how can that be, how can Melina be cursed?_ Lita wondered then something started to come back to her _No way, it can't be that's crazy_ she thought and came back to her natural self and together with Trish in the room that Nitro and Melina shared they all prayed that whatever was disturbing Melina's pregnancy would pass.

Arco Arena in Sacramento, CA, 5:30pm

Inside the arena Shelton Benjamin was preparing for his Number One Contendership match against Jeff Hardy and stopped to talk to Torrie Wilson who was pacing back and forth nervously, he knew something was up when she wasn't applying her make up like all the other Divas.

"Wanna talk about it mama?" he said warmly and the Boise beauty stopped and looked at the former IC Champ.

"I'm worried about this match between Randy and Johnny, I have a really bad feeling something's gonna go wrong," she replied and Shelton frowned confused.

"What do you mean?" he asked and Torrie touched her stomach where anxiety was growing.

"I don't think this match should go ahead, I've never had any problems until this morning when I woke up and Randy wasn't on the other side of the bed like he usually is, my stomach started to turn and it hurt so much," Torrie explained.

"You slept with Randy Orton?" Shelton asked and Torrie nodded and Shelton's heart sank, "Oh boy, when did you see him last?"

"On the phone with John Cena talking about how he was gonna beat up Nitro so bad he was gonna end his career," Torrie replied and Shelton started to worry.

"That ain't good, where is he now?" Shelton asked concerned and Torrie started to cry.

"I don't know, I'm worried Shelton I need to tell Shawn and Hunter to call the match off," she cried and Shelton looked down at his white wrestling boots and Torrie knew something was up, "What's wrong?" she asked.

"I don't think DX are gonna do that Torrie, Shawn wants this match to go ahead so you can get with Randy and move on, he really doesn't like Johnny Nitro after what he did with Ashley and Brooke, Randy winning the match would be a punishment for Nitro's insensitive behavior," Shelton replied and Torrie gasped.

"But Shawn is the whole reason we got together in the first place!" she replied in shock and Shelton shrugged.

"After everything Rebecca and Big Sexy put him through Shawn's not real keen on infidelity. promiscuity or any of the above, plus I think he's grown a soft spot for Randy since he baptised him in Florida," Shelton explained.

"Oh great, now God's favorite wrestler turned co-owner wants this match to go ahead, I guess there's nothing I can do," Torrie sighed.

"He just wants what's best for Melina, but that doesn't mean Hunter feels the same way maybe you could ask him to call off the match," Shelton said and Torrie's eyes beamed.

"You know what Shelley, that's a great idea!" she replied enthusiastically and Shelton sighed.

"I hate it when you call me that!" he replied in frustration.

"But you are so cute you're like a girlfriend, you always know exactly what to say just like Trish and Lita, speaking of girlfriends - hey Stephanie!" Torrie hollered to the former Women's Champion heading in their direction with DX, The Kliq, The Rock, Y2J and Jeff and Matt Hardy flew in seconds later and Shelton locked eyes with the Rainbow Warrior who he would be wrestling against for the most important title of his highly regarded career.

"Trying to get some advice from Torrie on how not to get your butt kicked?" Jeff asked cockily and Shelton smirked.

"I don't need advice, I already know I'm gonna win this match, HBK has total faith in me, don't cha Kliq buddy?" Shelton asked his mentor who nodded assuringly.

"That's right Shelton, that WWE Championship would look real good around your waist," he said and Hunter nodded in agreement and Jeff frowned in despair.

"Hey how come ya'll ain't got any faith in the Charismatic Enigma?" he complained discouraged.

"I have a responsibility to Shelton, he's a Kliq candidate," Shawn explained.

"And if I win my match tonight, I'm in the Kliq right Shawn?" Shelton asked excitedly and Shawn nodded while Jeff eyed Hunter annoyed.

"And I suppose you're on Shelton's side as well since y'all are co-owners of the WWE and all?" he asked Hunter who shook his head and hugged Jeff reassuringly.

"I'll be supporting you loudly in the back Jeffrey Nero, you can always count on me to be there for you," Hunter replied warmly and he gave Jeff a kiss which Shawn promptly cut short.

"Okay that's enough encouragement you're scaring Jeffrey!" he snapped at The Game who frowned confused.

"But you said I had to be more encouraging of our younger Superstars," he complained.

"Yeah I said encouraging not molesting," Shawn replied and Hunter apologized to Jeff who looked at this brother who averted his eyes and pretended not to see or hear anything.

"I gotta say for the first time I'm thankful I'm on Smackdown," he said looking Hunter up and down questioningly.

"And you accused my daughter of molesting you?" Shawn asked the co-owner of the WWE.

"I didn't say molest I said sexual harassment and she DID sexually harass me!" Hunter corrected him and Jericho pulled the pretty pink hair band out of Hunter hair and looked at it laughing.

"Well I can see she compensated you," he said and everyone laughed and Hunter snatched the pretty pink hair band back and re-tied his ponytail much to Jeff Hardy's concern.

"Can I come back to Smackdown with you? I'm scared Matt, don't leave me alone with him!" Jeff cried and Matt hugged his brother lovingly to him.

"Jeffrey Nero, you have my total support and Lita's too, right Shawn?" Hunter said.

"Oh absolutely," HBK replied and Jeff felt a little better about himself, "now are you two gonna tear it up out there and give the fans something to remember?" Shawn asked Shelton and Jeffrey who jumped up and down assuring Shawn that they would, "Alright now GO GET 'EM!" Shawn roared and Jeff and Shelton headed for the guerilla position.

"Um Shawn, their match isn't for another hour," Hunter reminded his best friend and co-owner of the WWE.

"Oh, okay guys my bad go to your locker rooms," Shawn told the competitors who rolled their eyes at Shawn before heading for their locker rooms thinking while Shawn was the heart of DX, Hunter was definitely the brains.

"Hunter, I need to ask you something," Torrie asked the co-owner of the WWE.

"Not now Torrie I'm busy," Hunter replied bluntly Torrie frowned.

"But you're not doing anything," she said confused.

"Exactly," The Game replied and Stephanie slapped her ex-husband on the arm.

"Listen Chairman of the Broads, Torrie is an employee of the WWE and she has something important to ask you now listen and stop wishing Lita was still a slut,"

she told Hunter and Shawn looked over at his blond best friend offended.

"Hey!" he snapped and Torrie calmed him down with a gentle tug of his arm which Chyna saw and didn't like and gave the former Playboy Covergirl a warning glare.

"Hands off the merchandize Wilson," she said firmly and Torrie gulped taking her hand off Shawn's arm as quickly as she put it on.

"Nevermind those two lovebirds Hunter," she said to The Game who was laughing at how easily intimidated Torrie was by his girlfriend, "I want to talk to you about this match Randy and Johnny Nitro are going to have for Melina's managerial services," Torrie said.

"What about it?" Hunter asked.

"I want you to cancel it," Torrie said and Shawn gasped in shock.

"Cancel it? Why I'm really looking forward to that match, do you want to give Randy Orton your managerial services?" Shawn asked Torrie and the Boise beauty shook her head.

"No I've got a feeling something real bad is gonna happen Shawn, I think Nitro and Randy might kill each other," Torrie explained and Shawn covered his mouth in shock.

"Why do you think that honey?" he asked Torrie concerned.

"She's just worried that Melina's gonna get a little too close to Randy that's all, Torrie everything's gonna be fine, Melina's not interested in Randy you've got nothing to worry about," Stephanie assured her as Shawn started to think about it.

"This match will prove how important Melina is to him so it has to go ahead," he added, "no matter who wins, you win overall because you get to go home with the Legend Killer,"

Torrie nodded, "I never thought of it like that," she said with a smile, "Okay nevermind forget I said anything Hunter, go back to thinking about Lita's boobs," Torrie said humorously and Hunter did exactly that much to Shawn's annoyance but before he tuned up the band, The Rock spun him around and Shawn rolled his eyes.

"Man you guys are just non-stop, do you know they've been doing that since we left the airport?" HBK asked Hunter who looked Rocky and Jericho up and down begrudgingly.

"I know and it ain't make no sense," Hunter replied.

"Neither did that sentence," Jericho replied.

"Don't you just love him Rocky?" Stephanie said holding her fiancé lovingly much to Hunter's dislike, "Love rules all," she declared then a bolt of pain shot through her stomach and she keeled over on the ground startling everyone especially HBK and Triple H who flew down to her side.

"Stephanie!" Jericho cried holding her head up off the floor.

"What happened Steph are you okay?" Hunter said frantically holding her face in her hands while Shawn went to get the EMTs.

Stephanie wailed and clutched her pregnant stomach, "Oh my God it's the baby, the baby's in distress!" she panicked, "call an ambulance!" she cried to Hunter who did just that flicking open his cell-phone and quickly dialing 911.

"Hold on sweetie, you're gonna be okay," Chyna said combing Stephanie's raven curls with her hand tenderly but Torrie wasn't so sure everything was gonna be okay.

"No Joanie, its not gonna be okay, Hunter you guys have to stop the match now!" she cried out to the owner of the WWE who frowned confused.

"Are you saying Randy and Nitro's match is causing Stephanie's baby to be in distress?"

"No not the match its got something to do with Nitro and Melina," Torrie replied and Hunter frowned not understanding what Torrie was talking about, then suddenly Lita burst through the door and ran down to the guerilla position where Shawn was talking to Nitro.

"Lita I thought you were in Santa Monica with Melina and Trish?" Torrie said as the red-head flew past them.

"Can't talk must stop match now!" Lita replied and Torrie nearly fainted.

"I knew it," she said holding her head feeling overwhelmed by everything that was going on and the Hardyz told her to take it easy.

"Baby something weird is going down where's Nitro?" Lita cried running up to her husband who was looking for Melina's other half himself, still he couldn't help but smile as his Big Red came flying into his arms then they gasped as Nitro and Randy started to fight before they even got through the curtain and Shawn tried to separate them but it was no use.

"Nitro Melina's in trouble you have to go with her to the hospital come on!" Lita yelled pulling Nitro away from Randy but Johnny wouldn't let Orton go.

"Something's wrong with Melina's baby?" Shawn asked in horror and Lita nodded and stroked his arm reassuringly even though she wasn't sure herself if everything was gonna be alright.

"It's the baby Johnny we have to go now!" Lita cried out and joined Shawn in trying to pull Nitro and Orton apart but it was no use they were really going at it, eventually Nitro knocked Shawn backwards and HBK just missed Lita by a hair.

"Are you okay?" he asked his pregnant wife who assured him that she was, but her eyes were on the two men brawling all the way down to the ring beating the living crap out of each other. Lita took Shawn's hand holding him back and he turned to her questioningly.

"I gotta get Nitro let me go!" he demanded but Lita shook her head.

"Melina was right, something's terribly wrong I don't think you can stop the match if you wanted to," she said and Shawn looked to the ring and held Lita close to him closing their unborn baby girl in between them realizing that Lita was right, something bad was just moments from happening and he didn't want his new family anywhere near Orton and Nitro right now.

"Come on let's go to the hospital, we'll be there for Melina and her unborn child even if Nitro isn't," he said and together Shawn and Lita followed after the ambulance that had come and taken Stephanie from the Arco Arena.

RAW Live:

JR: I don't like the look of this King.

KING: Randy Orton's got that demonic look in his eye.

JR: Oh my God, Randy Orton just RKO'd Johnny Nitro's head off!

KING: That is the most devastating RKO I have ever seen! Nitro isn't moving JR!

JR: We need to get someone out here for Johnny Nitro, we need to get the EMT's out here now!

Randy Orton stormed backstage where everyone was looking at him like he had just killed someone; the scary thing about it was that he had.

"Randy . . . what did you do?" Torrie Wilson said running over to Orton who had a dark look in his eye.

"I did what I always do, did you think I was gonna lose to Johnny Nitro?" Randy replied with no emotion whatsoever for the man being wheeled out on a stretcher by the EMTs that had come out to take Johnny Nitro to the hospital.

Torrie Wilson watched as Johnny's lifeless body was put into the ambulance headed for the hospital that Melina was just taken to moments ago.

"What the Hell was that Randy? You nearly killed Nitro with that RKO?" Shelton roared furiously with Jeff and Matt Hardy right behind him.

Randy Orton simply smiled, "Hey, I'm the Legend Killer now if you'll excuse me, I have to go claim my prize,"

Shelton and the Hardyz exchanged glances and Torrie couldn't believe what she just heard, "What prize? Melina's in the hospital worried sick about her unborn baby do you really think she's interested in giving you her managerial services after that?" she asked Randy outraged and Orton stared menacingly into the Idaho beauty's frightened face.

"It's none of your business but thank you for having sex with me, you're one Hell of a sweet lay," Randy replied and Torrie couldn't believe it, neither could Shelton, Matt or Jeff; Randy was apparently still in love with Melina and he wasn't the sweet boy Shawn Michaels had baptized in Florida anymore.

"It looks like the demon's back," Shelton said to Torrie who disagreed.

"No Randy's back to being who he's always been; a total asshole," she replied and ran to her locker room with tears of fury burning down her face.

"Torrie wait!" Matt Hardy called running after her while Jeff and Shelton headed to the guerilla position for their match.

"Suddenly I don't care about being the Number 1 Contender anymore," Jeff Hardy said somberly and Shelton nodded.

"Me neither, whad'ya say we go out there and give the fans something to take their mind off of what just happened?" Shelton suggested and Jeff shook Shelton's hand.

"I'm down with that, let's tear it up Shelton," he replied and flew through the curtain as his music blared through the speakers and the fans began to chant his name at the top of their lungs while Shelton prayed to Jesus at the top of his lungs thinking God took ATM's powers back way too soon as the holy powers of Anointed Amy, The Truth: Trish Stratus and Melina the Miraculous were desperately needed right now.

Back at The Sandbox:

Edge and Carlito watched in horror as the Legend Killer took out Johnny Nitro, Babs and Alison didn't know what to make of it.

"So is that real or is it just entertainment?" Babs asked Edge's mom and Judy looked over at her son's worried face knowing what just went down was not staged or worked and Johnny Nitro was seriously hurt.

"No Babs its real, its damn real," she said and her best friends covered their mouths realizing just how real what they had just seen was.

"But I thought you guys practiced all your moves so nobody got hurt?" Alison asked Carlito who had stopped cooking his Caribbean cuisine for the DX Rules party the minute Nitro's head smacked the mat with that RKO.

"We do practice everything chica," he replied somberly, "that wasn't a match,"

Babs and Alison looked at each other confused.

"It wasn't? Then what was it?" Alison asked him.

"It was an execution," Edge replied.

"You mean like a murder?" his mom asked getting more and more horrified by the minute.

"I agree with your son Mrs. Copeland, what happened in that ring was no accident, Orton took Nitro out," Carlito added.

"I think I'm gonna be sick," Babs said covering her mouth and running to the fountain in the McMahon Palatial Gardens to throw up.

"I guess you better call of the party huh?" Edge's mom said rubbing her son's hand tenderly.

"Yeah no-one's gonna wanna party after that," Babs said coming back into the kitchen with Alison who got her some water and sat her down on a stool.

"Are you kidding mom? This is the WWE one bad apple doesn't spoil it for the rest of the bunch, I say the party goes ahead as planned, right Carlito?" Edge said to the cool one who nodded but the three women were horrified.

"Edge and Carlito are right ma'am," Scott Hall said and Nash and Waltman nodded, the women turned and saw other wrestlers beginning to arrive, "There's an old saying in the wrestling business and that's the show must go on, whatever happened between Randy and Nitro I'm sure the little squirt wouldn't want us balling over him all night long, ain't that right Naitch?" Kevin Nash asked Ric Flair who rolled in with MVP, Batista and Finlay.

"That's right Mrs. Copeland, or is that Miss. Copeland, whoooo!" Ric Flair howled and Edge's mom laughed in spite of herself and the Nature Boy started to dance with her.

"Guys did you hear about Torrie Wilson and Randy Orton?" Batista said to Edge and Carlito and they shook their heads that they hadn't, "They slept with each other at Shawn and Lita's reception party in Santa Monica and Randy Orton broke up with Torrie because he's in love with Melina again,"

Edge and Carlito nearly fell over, they couldn't believe it.

"After everything we did for Randy he's still caught up on Melina," Carlito sighed.

"He's baptized, Melina's married now, why would he do this?" Edge reasoned pulling at his long blond hair.

"Maybe he thought he had a chance," MVP argued, "I mean Melina and Nitro argued the whole time we were in Cali, they looked like they were gonna break up,"

Edge and Carlito nodded, it was true there was no denying how unhappy Melina had been since Nitro kissed those other Divas.

"But that still doesn't explain why Randy did this, he had Torrie, what more could a man want?" Carlito argued, "Unless he's in love with Melina, I kinda understand how that feels,"

Edge, MVP and Ric Flair looked over at Carlito concerned, "Why who are you in love with?" Naitch asked the cool one after handing Edge's mom a drink.

"Trish Stratus," Carlito replied and this time Edge did fall over luckily Christian was there to break his fall.

"Just like old times," Christian said and threw Edge off of him and into Carlito, "Get over it Carlito she's not worth it, you think The Rock's gonna walk out on his whole family to loose Trish to an amateur ring rat like you? I don't think so Holmes,"

Carlito picked up and apple and Christian ducked out of the room before he could spit it in his face, he swallowed it thinking that Captain Charisma was right, "Your eternal soul mate's got a point Edge, Trish ain't never gonna leave her true love for a mid card misfit like Carlito, I'm not cool,"

Edge, Flair and MVP gasped, "I can't believe you just said you're not cool!" Edge said.

"Yeah never EVER put yourself down for a girl!" MVP admonished the cool one.

"That's right Carlito, you are cool and don't ever say you're not," Edge's mom said and Babs and Alison agreed and Carlito smiled in spite of himself.

"Thanks guys that makes me feel a lot better about myself," he replied.

"Yeah now if only Randy Orton would get that message and move on once and for all," Ric Flair said, "I mean he's sleeping with Torrie Wilson, talk about seeing the glass half empty when the damn thing is overflowing whoooo!"

Everyone agreed and applauded the Nature Boy and his zest for life and wrestling but the celebration came to a halt when Randy Orton came through the door.

"You sonofabitch!" Edge barked at him pulling him into the kitchen where everyone had congregated.

"Well hello to you too," Randy replied offended and pushed Edge aggressively, "What the Hell's your problem man?"

"What's my problem, you took out Johnny Nitro he's in a freaking coma he might never wake up thanks to you and your stupid RKO!" Carlito snapped poking Orton in the chest.

"It was an accident Carlito," Randy said in his own defense.

"Save it Randy we all know what's really going on here," Batista said and Randy frowned at his old Evolution partner.

"So you've all been talking about me behind my back? I thought we were friends man?" he said offended.

"Wrestling is our life Randy, after this I wouldn't wanna get in the ring with you,"

Batista replied and Flair, Carlito and Edge all nodded in agreement, "You just killed your own career not to mention Melina's husband's, who knows how long Johnny's gonna be out for!"

Randy looked down, a tear fell from his eye at the mention of Melina's name then he looked back up so everyone could see his eyes, "It was an accident you guys, I'd never do anything to hurt Melina," he said honestly.

"That's because you're in love with her!" Edge snapped scaring his mom a bit who wasn't used to her son being angry unless Matt Hardy was in the room.

"I didn't see you getting so upset when Shawn stole Lita right from under your nose!" Randy retorted.

"Shawn and Lita are in love, you're in love with yourself. You're a selfish sonofabitch Randy Orton not even the Lord can change that," Edge said and Randy was hurt by his words shocked that Edge felt this way and judging by the look of everyone around the kitchen he wasn't alone.

"This is how ya'll feel about me? You don't think that I've changed?" Randy asked them and nobody replied, Randy held back the tears that wanted to fall and instead he swallowed them down and tapped into the rage that HBK had delivered him from a few weeks ago in Orlando, FL, "Then I've got three words for ya - "he said and before anyone could stop him he punctuated his sentence with an RKO to Ric Flair: "R-K-O!" he yelled proudly and just like that The Legend Killer was back and more deadlier than ever.

"Ric!" Torrie Wilson yelled running over to the Nature Boy as Randy fled the house and the RAW roster arrived horrified by what they had seen.

"He's crazy, Randy Orton's lost it, we gotta get ATM back together now!" Matt Hardy said and Edge and Carlito nodded.

"Are they still at the hospital with Stephanie?" Edge asked him and Matt nodded as Batista helped Ric up to one of the upstairs bedrooms in the huge compound.

"Shawn and Hunter are gonna flip when they find out what Randy did," Carlito said and Edge nodded.

"That's why we shouldn't tell them," Edge said and everyone looked at him like he was crazy. "Guys come on they're the co-owners of the WWE now, if they find out that Randy Orton RKO'd Ric Flair - a man they love like their own fathers, they'll fire him and make sure he never works in wrestling ever again!"

"Wait so you're feeling sorry for Randy Orton now? I thought you were mad at him?" MVP asked confused.

"I am but I also believe in forgiveness and I know that Shawn will be able to forgive Randy but Hunter will take a sledgehammer and bust his head wide open, that man knows no remorse. I think the most important thing is to make sure Randy stays out of trouble we gotta keep an eye on him," Edge argued.

"Without ATM, that's gonna be difficult," Carlito said and Edge nodded.

"I know but we've got to try, there is no ATM anymore we'll just have to do what we can with what we got," Edge said.

Meanwhile inside the DX Machine:

Aurora stop!

Carla, Cassidy, Brandon and Miss Taylor looked up with LC, Cameron and Cheyenne wondering where that voice was coming from as they woke up from their slumber in the back of the DX Machine.

"Hey God!" Cheyenne called out and Cameron looked at her like she was crazy.

Hello Cheyenne God replied and everyone fell to their knees knowing that the Voice belonged to the Almighty Father.

I have decided that now is the time for you to know what is going on with Aurora's powers, from now on I will be in control of her weather controlling abilities and no-one else. Because she is so powerful she'll need protection that is why I have appointed you Cheyenne as one of the new ATM.

"What?" Cameron cried out.

SILENCE! God roared and Cameron didn't say a word much to LC's dislike.

"You're gonna back down to God?" LC said disgusted by Cameron's reverence for the Lord.

"Um yah, he created the universe LC," Cameron reminded his rebellious girlfriend.

"My daddy is master of the universe God is just the dude that drew up the plans," LC replied and Cameron, Carla, Cassidy and Charlene gasped in shock while Brandon and Miss. Taylor laughed.

LC you are now the ARK - Aurora Rose's Keeper, that means that you are the only human she will listen to from now on. That means if I give you an instruction you follow it My child.

"She listens to me anyway," LC replied cockily.

Now all I need is for you to listen to Me and it will be all good.

"God said all good!" Cheyenne laughed.

"And what if I don't agree with what you've got to say?" LC said.

Oh you will My child especially when you find out what your father's got in store for you and Cameron Michaels.

"What's Uncle Hunter gonna do to me?" Cameron asked God.

SILENCE! God roared and Cameron quieted down again.

Now back to Cheyenne, I have given you the gift of Phenomenal strength, Cameron to you I have given the gift of wisdom. I know what you're thinking My son and the answer is simple: no-one will expect your three year-old sister to have Phenomenal strength since you are her older brother you be expected to be the stronger, so your wisdom will be your greatest attack I expect you to keep you and your friends out of trouble.

"Why don't you just put ATM together again?" Cassidy asked God.

Because Amy and Melina are pregnant and are in no condition to take on the devil right now.

"What about Trish?" Carla asked.

She'll have enough on her plate My dear that's why I need you to do this for me, there is trouble ahead. ATM have done so much for you, now its time for you to return the favor by listening to My commands. Go forth children and do the real King of Kings proud.

"God why is Randy Orton doing this?" Brandon asked.

Because the spirit of Cain has taken him over and it isn't finished yet.

God's Voice disappeared and Aurora was still angry.

"Go to sleep!" LC commanded and Aurora did just that, "Whad'ya know I am Aurora's Keeper," she bragged.

"What do you think God meant about the spirit of Cain not being done yet?" Miss. Taylor asked.

"Well if I remember correctly, Cain killed Abel because he was jealous of the offering he made to God," Brandon said.

"Randy Orton is just hosting the demon, he's innocent, I was there when Shawn baptized him," Miss. Taylor explained and Brandon realized she still had a soft spot for the Legend Killer.

"But why Randy?" Brandon thought scratching his head feeling sorry for the Legend Killer himself.

"I think it has something to do with the rule of the Firstborn," Cameron answered and everyone looked at him like he was an old ancient sage.

"What's the rule of the Firstborn?" LC asked him.

"Well there's a rule that the first offering is the most important one but if the offering is not special it becomes cursed and the firstborn is wiped out; that's what happened to Cain and Abel, to the Egyptians in the Book of Exodus, etc," Cameron explained.

"What's that got to do with Randy Orton?" Charlene asked.

"He was the first member of Evolution to become World Heavyweight Champion and he was the first to get kicked out. He is the first son in his family and he was the first Orton to get baptized. If he in fact does have the spirit of Cain then that jealousy has formed a curse which the devil has now used for evil," Cameron explained further and everyone gawked at HBK's son in amazement - everyone except LC of course.

"Great now not only are you a New Testament nerd, you're an Old Testament nerd too!" she complained.

"Daddy's gonna be so happy you smarter than he now Cam-Cam," Cheyenne said and Cameron never thought of ever being smarter than his own father.

"Your gift is very impressive Cameron just remember what God said, its to keep you out of trouble not get you into trouble," Brandon warned the confident young man.

"I hear you Brandon, I think it would be wise if we all went to bed," he said and everyone agreed and went into The Sandbox to get some much needed sleep and they weren't alone because the life of the party left when Ric Flair was dropped and nobody was in the partying mood after that.

The next day after the party was over and everyone had left The Sandbox, Shawn, Hunter, Lita, Stephanie and Chyna had returned to the place DX now called home. It had been a very stressful night which was turning into a longer morning for everyone in the wrestling world, especially for those who had watched RAW last night.

Shawn brought Lita back from the hospital intending to go to Charlotte with Ric Flair when he woke up to make sure he got home safe; after what Edge told him happened to the Nature Boy Shawn and Hunter decided that he shouldn't stay in their big mansion and went home to the comfort of his home in Charlotte so he didn't slip and hurt himself like Edge said he did last night.

Shawn woke up to find Lita up with his children talking about their Gifts from God while Hunter and Chyna stayed asleep with LC and Aurora Rose who according to Cam and Chey also had Gifts from God. He listened to what they said with a skeptical ear but when Cheyenne picked up Hunter to demonstrate her new Phenomenal strength he was convinced that his children had indeed been visited by the Holy Spirit last night. Hunter didn't take the news too well, Cheyenne dropping him on the floor probably had something to do with it and The Game resumed his case for harassment against the Phenomenal One stating that no pretty pink hair band was gonna get him to drop the case against her this time. Cameron told his father that it would be wise to ignore his best friend: HBK agreed and went back to sleep while Lita tried to understand what this had to do with Melina and Stephanie's pregnancy problems.

Trish stayed with Melina at the hospital with Rocky and Jericho who slept in the room with Nitro while Melina and Trish prayed all night long. It was then that it happened.

"What was that?" Trish said and looked to the door and Melina clutched her stomach in pain and screamed waking everyone in the hospital up. Rocky and Jericho looked out the door and tapped Rocky on the shoulder.

"Look it's your daughter," he said and Rocky came towards the small figure in the doorway and it was indeed his firstborn child.

"Simone what are you doing here?" he asked his daughter who turned and looked at the Canadian blond sitting next to the Mexican brunette.

"I should ask you the same question, I thought you might be cheating on mom so I thought I should come and check it out for myself, and here you are - with her," Simone spat hatefully.

Rocky sighed, "Simone you're too young to understand, let me take you home," he said and went to pick her up.

"Are you coming home too?" she asked her father and he paused.

"No I'm not," Rocky replied, "I'm in love with Trish and I'm staying here with her,"

Simone scowled, her face tightening with hate, "So be it," she spat and a wave a pain so severe ripped through Melina's body and she screamed so loud the doctors and nurses came in to see what was going on. They raced over to Melina and diagnosed her again but they couldn't find anything wrong with her to explain why she was in so much pain.

"What is it doctor?" Jericho asked but the doctor was unable to explain the reason for the pain.

"I don't know there's nothing wrong with her," the doctor replied, "there's no medical reason for Melina to be in such severe pain!"

"Medicine is no match for miracles doctor," came a familiar voice from outside the room and Rocky, Jericho and Trish turned to see Randy Orton standing in the doorway.

"Randy what's going on why is Melina in so much pain?" Trish asked him frantically.

"The question isn't why is Melina in so much pain Stratus," Randy answered, "The question is, why aren't you?"

"What?" Trish said confused thinking what she had to do with Melina being in so much pain.

"Before you, Lita and Melina lost your Gifts from God you said that there was a dispute in the Heavenlies over the new ATM, well you're the cause of that dispute Trish, because of you there's a curse on Melina's firstborn child," Randy replied and Trish looked at Randy like he was crazy.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said shaking her head innocently.

"Oh that's right you're no longer The Truth: Trish Stratus, you're just a big fat liar like Shawn Michaels!" Randy spat menacingly coming towards the frightened former Diva, "Well I've already taken out Naitch and because you're a 7 time Women's Champion that makes you a Legend, and you know what that means don't you?" he said and before anyone could stop him Randy RKO'd Trish and ran out of the room before Rocky and Jericho could stop him. Simone flung her head back and let out a demonic laugh as Trish lay limp in Jericho's arms, The Rock ran over to his firstborn and shook her angrily.

"Tell me why you're doing this Simone, what has gotten into you?" he demanded.

"If you don't come home right now I'll get Randy to drop you where you stand," Simone said and Rocky felt his body shaking, something evil had taken over his daughter and he didn't know what it was but he didn't want to find out.

"Okay let's go," he said and took his daughter's hand and left with her leaving Trish passed out in Jericho's arms. The pain that had torn Melina's body up left and Nitro woke up out of his coma.

"Whoa, I feel like I've been hit with a truck," he said holding his head and Melina grabbed him squeezing him to life, "Mi hermana," he cooed over her shoulder, "I'm sorry I kissed Brooke and Ashley, please forgive me Melina I love you so much!"

"I know, I love you too baby," she said and kissed Nitro passionately while the doctor attended to the unconscious Trish Stratus.

"What happened to Trish?" Nitro asked as Melina searched her bag for her cell-phone and called Lita immediately.

"The same thing that happened to you baby," Melina said holding Trish's hand, "Lita? Something terrible has happened to Trish, what the Hell is ATM and where are they because we need them right now!"

"I don't know who ATM are Melina," Lita replied scratching at the Chimallis necklace that she had forgotten to take off before she fell asleep last night and Shawn's eyes popped open at the sound of those three letters and thought back to his wife's funeral, "This thing is scratching my neck," Lita said and pulled off the choker and saw something inscribed inside it and showed it to Shawn in shock, "Oh my God Mel, ATM is us!" she cried in shock as Shawn read the inscription.

"What are you talking about Amy?" Melina asked confused.

"Anointed Amy, Melina the Miraculous and The Truth: Trish Stratus - ATM 4 Life," he read and looked up at his wife in shock, "What does this mean?" he asked amazed and Lita reached over and picked up her Bible from the nightstand.

"It means we've got work to do, Mel I'm on my way," she said and kissed Shawn before picking up her handbag where her Tallit was folded up inside with her anointing oil and she headed for the door, she turned back and looked at her husband, "Are you coming St. Michaels?" she asked sweetly and Shawn's smile brightened at the name.

"Come on kids we've got some demons to kill!" he called said hoisting Cam and Chey over his shoulder, "Hunter get LC and Aurora ready," he called to his best friend and Hunter stuck his head out of his bedroom door and saw Shawn, Lita, Cam and Chey heading out of the house.

"Ready for what?" he asked groggily and he saw LC fully dressed with Aurora standing by the bedroom door.

"Ready to do what God called us to do Daddy," LC said and Hunter shook his head pulling on his shoes.

"Whatever," he said and together they followed Anointed Amy out the door to reunite the old and the new ATM and take down the forces of evil one more time.

"Now that's cool," Carlito said munching on an apple watching Lita, Shawn, Hunter and their children leave in the DX Machine through the kitchen window with Edge who hadn't slept at all last night.

"Yeah it is cool," Edge agreed, "Hey everybody wake up, ATM are back!" he cried and all the WWE and TNA wrestlers cheered, with ATM things are always looking up!

The End


	47. Note of Thanks

_**Note of Thanks**_

Hey guys well the Adventures of ATM have finally come to an end and I'm sorry I took sooooo long with the last chapter! The truth is I was very shaken up by the death of Chris Benoit and his family, the tragedy affected my mind and I couldn't write what I wanted to when I wanted to write it. I actually met Chris Benoit the weekend of WrestleMania 22 which was just a year before I was baptized. If I had been baptized before WrestleMania 22 I probably would have prayed with him. He signed my program and I told him he was an immaculate performer (which is still true). I had no idea the death of Eddy Guerrero would affect him so badly and I did not understand the power of prayer back then either. The man was so confused and lost without Eddie, I don't know if you guys know this but Eddie used to read the Bible to Chris while they were traveling from show to show on the road. Benoit was struggling with his own faith and the devil took advantage of the man's fragile state of mind, the whole thing breaks my heart as I'm sure it did all of yours.

_**My Evangelism**_

You all know that I am a Christian and I take my faith very seriously, HBK's testimony and autobiography inspired a lot of the characterization of HBK in the ATM series as I'm sure he's inspired his fans all over the world. Hell is real and not everyone goes to Heaven when they die, my purpose behind writing this fictitious series was to give you guys an idea of what Heaven could be like for you and the ones you love if you would accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and personal Savior. I want you all to think about it because it is the best decision you will ever make!

**_The Concept of ATM_**

Anointed Amy, The Truth: Trish Stratus and Melina the Miraculous represent three Divas with extraordinary gifts from God who gave them the Authority to Minister (ATM) to their friends and loved ones. I see the WWE Superstars as ordinary people with extraordinary gifts too and it was fun to draw some of them into this series but ultimately the series is about 3 women giving their lives to Christ.

**_The Pairings - Lita and Shawn_**

The death of Rebecca in the story was to remind myself that this life is just the rehearsal for the real thing, even though Rebecca died she is still very much alive in the heart and minds of Shawn and his children and I hope you all feel that way about loved ones of your own who have passed on, I know I do!

Lita is my favorite WWE Diva of all time and I hated the whole "You Screwed Matt" thing. I liked when HBK kissed her hand after he defeated Kane when the Big Red Machine was paired up with Lita back in 04 and I got to thinking what if Shawn fell in love with Lita instead of Edge? Shawn doesn't do love angles but the after the reunion of DX I saw something that I hadn't seen since Chyna was in DX! I saw a trailer for the SummerSlam PPV in 06 and one of the skits features DX cooking hotdogs and Lita came over and Shawn gave her one. Before she left he looked her up and down because she was wearing this red hot bikini that left very little to the imagination and inspired me to pair them up. I imagined Hunter would be all for it if it ever happened on RAW (Shawn would never go for it) but this is how I would like it to turn out if he did, I absolutely loved writing Shawn/Lita and I hope you guys enjoyed the pairing too!

_**Trish and Carlito**_

I absolutely loved Trish/Carlito back in 06, were they not the cutest couple since Matt/Lita or what? I decided that Trish would never love Carlito the way she loved Rocky and that's why I split them up, still I loved writing this pairing, Trish and Carlito were the coolest Canadian-Caribbean Couple ever!

_**Melina and Nitro**_

This is a no-brainer since Melina and Nitro are a couple in real life, I threw Randy Orton into the mix because he seems so lonely doesn't he? The Legend Killer is a very solitary character and Melina the Miraculous brought light to his dark soul. Sometimes you can't be with the one you love, so you love the one you're with and that's definitely the case in Melina and Nitro's case.

**_Hunter and Chyna_**

What can I say I love DX and Shawn, Hunter and Chyna will always be DX to me. Chyna was the 1st Lady of DX and she always will be so I decided to put the originals back together and give them an illegitimate child of their own!

_**Stephanie and Jericho**_

I love Y2J and I loved it when he called Stephanie "princess" so I thought it would be cool to pair them up in this story after Stephanie realized that he loved her more than Hunter did. I liked the idea of Shawn thinking Stephanie "didn't belong in the Kliq" because she was the boss' daughter, so I made her the rich girl that didn't fit in and made Jericho the one that really loved her even when everyone else hated her, this pairing is also one of my favorites.

**_LC, Carla and Friends_**

The inspiration for LC (Lisa Cornelius Helmsley) came from LCHime – the real Lisa Cornelius! Carla is what I imagine Trish would look like as a little girl so I created her as child lost in need of a new family and that's exactly what she got. The idea of LC and Carla being sisters seemed so cute to me and them both being related to Jericho and Hunter seemed real funny being that Jericho and Hunter are eternal soul mates who can't stand each other on Earth! LC, Carla, Cassidy and Charlene met online so I thought why not make them meet up with the WWE Superstars? The children became a vital part of the Adventures of ATM because I wanted to include some passionate fans who loved DX, Team Extreme, the Divas and the other WWE Superstars as much as I did and still do.

_**Aurora Rose aka Hurricane Aurora**_

Man I don't know where this idea came from, I think I imagined how awful it would be for my parents to split up while I still a baby so I made Aurora Rose very angry and for that anger to be expressed through the weather. Family is the most important thing in life and sometimes families aren't what we would like them to be so we spend our lives looking for the love our family couldn't give us. Hurricane Aurora represents how important parents are in a young child's life and how being abandoned leaves a child with the feeling that something is missing, in Aurora's case it wasn't just her parents it was her big sister LC who it turns out was what Ro-Ro needed as much as her parents' love and God brought the two of them together.

_**DX vs. The McMahons**_

Well there's never a bad time to write about Shawn and Hunter getting one over on the McMahons and it was a comedy bonus for the Adventures of ATM which is quite a serious story for the most part. From the Caribbean to Tijuana, I loved DX making Vince, Shane and Linda McMahon's life a living Hell I hope you guys enjoyed it too!

**_WWE vs. TNA_**

I love TNA and WWE and I always wondered what it would be like if the companies ever feuded the way WWE and WCW did back in the day. As you guys know Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, Sean Waltman, Hunter and Shawn are all best friends in real life better known as the Kliq. I thought it would be fun to make Shelton Benjamin and AJ Styles Kliq candidates because Shelton and HBK respect each other and AJ Styles is quite close to Kevin Nash and Scott Hall in real life. Sting and Kurt Angle are also friends with HBK and all three are born-again Christians so there's that connection too. I love both rosters and I hope TNA will get to the WWE level someday.

_**The end?**_

Some of you have asked me if this is truly the end of the ATM series. The answer is yes, The Adventures of ATM series is done 7 stories is enough! BUT there will be a new series based on the new ATM which consists of Aurora Rose, LC, Cameron and Cheyenne Michaels who all have Gifts from God and are the children of DX. LC is now The ARK (Aurora Rose's Keeper), Aurora Rose is still Hurricane Aurora, Cameron is now The Amazing Cameron with the gift of wisdom and Cheyenne is The Incredible Girl with phenomenal strength. Their job is to listen to God and protect ATM who still exist but because of a dispute in the Heavenlies they cannot reunite. In the meantime the new ATM will have the Authority to Minister, Heaven on Earth was the last Adventure of ATM but the first adventure of _**The ARK Angels of DX**_ begins with **_Simone and the Curse of the Firstborn_** so watch this space!

**_Acknowledgement_**

I wouldn't be able to write the Adventure of ATM with as much love and passion if it wasn't for some very special and loyal readers. I would like to thank **LCHime, I Love ZigZag** and **Miss Pedigree** who were the first to read and review my ATM series as-well as and **DarkenMystery, MissPhilippinesSuperstar, TheHeartbreakKidDX, BabyJaneMichaels, buffvamp, Zadok, Hairpull xox Snapmare, RatedRforRecycled, HBKsgirl, pharaoh, Mystic Midnight, Lady-Payne, **and **xXtWiZtId-FrEeK-sHoWXx.**

You guys make all the difference, I love you and God bless you I wouldn't have gotten this far into my own imagination without all of your love and support!

I pray that you will use the gifts God has given you in your own creativity but the most important gifts of all are those given by the Holy Spirit which are _**love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness **_and_** self control**_ **(_Galatians 5:22-23)_.** These are the gifts that will enrich your life and I hope they will enrich all of yours!

Thank you all so much and God bless you!

**_Kaykyaka_**


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